The sexiest man you've ever met.
First
Ask yourself, if I ceased to exist right now, how many people would notice?
Then
Of those, how many would care?
Write down those two numbers.
...
You should either feel very satisfied or very sorry now, like you've been doing it right this whole time or doing it all wrong all the while.
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My numbers are 3 and 1
At least my bro would care
You're assuming people are fully aware of the folks they interact with at all times. There's always at least one or two people who you've never talked to, but who notice you around and would wonder if you ceased.
First number is small, but second number is (essentially) the same. I'm good with that.
2407129
I think it's more the second number that's supposed to be important. It's hard to define what 'care' means here, though. In the loosest possible definition, 'wonder if you ceased' might be passable.
Do the people I have chained up in the crawlspace under my house who would starve to death if I stopped feeding them count as caring?
If we exclude my direct family? Most likely two dozen, maybe three. And care? I... wow. At least six or seven. It's part of the reason I live in the first place. I can't let down those who care for me and who's love I've earned. It means a lot more than love that is automatic.
What in the world made you write this post?
2407939
Yes, the more people physically dependent on your continued existence, the better you should feel about yourself, regardless of how those people came into the situation.
I suppose owning a lot of hedgehogs or some shit should make you feel pretty good too.
2407954
Someone said this to me. I was curious to know how other people would respond, mostly because I can't find a good reason to disagree with the idea.
2408002
I think the main problem with this idea is that it assumes that all people are equal in value, which isn't necessarily the case. Popping out a lot of babies doesn't actually make you valuable, but having a large number of children might inflate your numbers.
I actually kind of feel like the second set shouldn't be a subset of the first. I'm in a position right now where I think I could vanish and very few people would notice, just because I'm not likely to have frequent contact with too many people. The list of people who would care if they knew I vanished, on the other hand, is considerably larger.
Welp, now I'm depressed. If I were to disappear now, a lot of people wouldn't get to appreciate how awesome I am and then get to experience the loss of the disappearance of one as awesome as myself. Those poor bastards.
Thanks Hoof.
2408145
It depends on how you determine a person's value. In this case, the more people who are critically affected by your continued existence, emotionally or financially or whatever, the more valuable you are. People who have lots of children have lots of (little) people depending on them. There's a reason why if you're married and have kids you'll typically be placed higher on an
organ waiting list than childless bachelors.
2408150
But there's the kicker. If they wouldn't notice your disappearance, are you really important to them?
2408593
No prob, Bob! It is my sincerest desire to drag everyone else down with me into my stinking pit of apathy, existentialism, and depression.
2409816
Well, economists will tell you that the proper way to measure it is to look at the economic value generated by a person, so Bill Gates is much more valuable than some Quiverfull guy.
2409816
Well, they'd notice, but they might not notice for a week or two.
Take, for example, the situation that you've told all your friends and family you're going to go backpacking around the south island of New Zealand for a couple weeks, and don't expect to be in contact with anyone. When nobody hears from you in three or four weeks, they'll notice you're gone—but if you go missing in the first couple days, everyone's expecting you to be out of contact anyway.
My situation's not quite that extreme, but I'm currently staying in somebody else's home, in a city where a lot of people I know live (but almost all of them are away on vacation), and I'm going to have limited access to the outside world or social activity for a couple weeks.
(I suppose the easy answer is that "how many people would notice" should just get read as "how many people would eventually notice", but c'mon! Semantics!)
2409821
Yeah, but economy is like Santa Claus, that imaginary thing we all agreed to make up and pretend to believe in to shut up the kids. How you affect the lives of people around you is a bit more real.
At first I wanted to argue against this, but I found myself unable.
I'll need to think this over. Also, "care" is a pretty broad term.
The answer is still fewer than I'd like.
This is certainly a measure of something, maybe even something important, but if you're dependent on other people in any way for your self worth you're doing it wrong.
2419085
If your life doesn't matter to anyone, why does your life matter?
2419192 because it matters to me. As I said I think it's a measure of something, worth to society seems right but I swear there should a term pithier than that for it. The point is self worth being determined by how you affect others is missing the point. At least I sure see it that way.
2420011
But why?
2420760 Because to use your question there are some people out there that no one would really notice missing, but they make the world a better place anyway. The reason is the worth of your own self should be determined by how others feel about your actions, but how you feel about them. This isn't a good way to determine morality as well, but you and you alone should decide how much you matter. You can add others opinions when you feel down because sometimes you can be down on yourself, but others shouldn't supply the measuring stick. Ultimately kind words should be that which lifts us up, helps us build the tower of who we are, but is should never be the foundation. The point if you can't love yourself no amount of how others feel will change anything. The point is if you depend on others you can find yourself in a situation where you seem worthless simply because you are alone. And that is never, ever true.
And I'm no longer sure how much sense that reply makes because I feel very passionate about this, but hopefully I got my point across this time.
2421408
Making the world a better place means affecting others' lives in a positive way. Even if you do that without anyone noticing, shouldn't the measure of your worth still be determined by how you affect others?
2421570 Yes, but my point is humans can be stupid and relying on them to determine if your actions are worthwhile is dumb. You alone should determine if something is worthwhile. As I said without morality you can end up a self assured serial killer, but that's not because of the self worth. The point is you should feel good about yourself because of how and what you do to try and make this world better, not any sort of reaction in any way. You should care about that too of course, but not determine your self worth that way.
2421698
But like you said, humans are stupid. How I perceive my actions may not be right. If I try to help someone out, and then accidentally completely fuck their life over instead, I shouldn't feel good about myself just because my intentions were good. If I do that on a regular basis or on a large scale, just because I feel good about myself doesn't mean I actually have any worth as a human being. It's very difficult to come to any real conclusions as an individual, how people react is all you really have. If everyone is reacting to you negatively, you should stop doing whatever you're doing.
2423584 That's two differnt things, neitehr of which is self worth, both of which yes you absolutely have no choice but to rely on others. First is competence, which is impossible to judge in yourself yes, though other people can get that wrong easily too. If you mean well but keep screwing up and keep trying your best something is wrong. What will vary a great and and sadly sometimes not be obvious, but yes you should feel good if you're trying even if you should also feel guilty for the problems you're causing at the same time. The other is morality, and the whole point is dealing with society in a positive way. The point is neither should influence how much you feel you're worth.
Also this is an incredibly bad example as written anyway. Care implies the good kind, but it doesn't say that. Lots of Cubans would both notice and care if Fidel Castro died, but they'd also hold parties when he does. A big impact on the world doesn't mean a good impact. Furthermore there are tons of great people that no one would notice or care if they died, but should.
2423728
I don't understand why not. What are you worth then? Just what you say you're worth?
Semantics aren't any fun for anyone. I meant the good kind of care and I meant the good kind of impact.
2426083 Yes. Exactly. Now it isn't a perfect system, but yes you alone should determine the goalposts. Dash and Pinkie are both good examples of why letting others determine your worth is dumb. Fluttershy is of course the postergirl for why setting your own self worth can be bad, but also why it can be incredibly useful. Slowly but surely she's starting to set her own worth higher by using her friends opinions of her, but at the same time she alone is deciding this. Thus even though she set her own self worth way to low she is adjusting it to something reasonable, and no matter what they say or don't say at a later date she still knows she is worth something because she has set reasonable marks for what that means. Dash on the other hand has her ego inflated like a balloon, but twice as fragile. Dash obviously doesn't need constant praise, but eventually if she is getting none it gets though her think head and is devastating. Pinkie is obviously much worse, completely collapsing almost the second she thinks her friends are gone.
Twilight is more in the middle, in that most of the time she has good standards for self worth, but with even a thought she is disappointing Celestia her self worth bottoms out. Rarity is a little hard to tell with how dramatic she is about everything but she seems to be about the same way with fashion. Applejack is the other end completely ignoring any outside influence, which isn't the same thing as deciding for yourself if your still acting a way that makes you matter.
The point is you judge the worth of your old actions. Sometimes this can result in wrong "rules" for such judgement, but self worth is not something that should be a jury trial, because no matter how bad you are a group of people is (usually) worse. Though you can and should let them present evidence, but you're still the only judge.
2431071
How do any of those examples promote the idea that only you should decide your own worth? Fluttershy raises her self esteem through her friends, Twilight through her friends and Celestia, Rainbow Dash through all others, and Applejack through her family and her work.
2434063 Well obviously friends are a good thing. They're supposed to help you. They're supposed to support you best you can. The point is if you are the judge of your own worth your friends than hold you up when you're low, but at the same time you don't collapse when they don't. You don't fall apart because you still know that you're worth something even if you're alone. Self worth isn't some complete vacuum devoid of any other influence, and one tiny part of being a truly good and useful person, but it is ultimately about you alone and letting others set the value of your own worth is wrong.
Though at the same time while I think I made some points trying to use the main six muddled everything a bit.
2434133
You keep saying this, but I still don't understand why.
It's easy to see what value you have to your family, your friends, your work, your society. Being more valuable to them makes you more valuable. What value does an individual have in a void, contributing nothing, taking nothing, affecting nothing? If you only have value to yourself, what true value do you have?
2434190 Because if you continue to exist you are contributing something. Because even if for the moment you aren't contributing anything you should still be capable of feeling good about yourself. Because it's really easy for others to see you as worthless, and you should always build your self worth out of what you know is worthwhile, because that way you can only sabotage yourself. And obviously that can lead to ruin to, but if your self worth is not determined by the outside you can be more stable. Because in truth there is only one way to really contibute, affect, and take nothing. (well there is one last bit of giving, but that doesn't matter too much) To die.
The point isn't about acting in a void, it's about how you determine self worth. It's subtle in some ways, but incredibly important. It's not ignore what others say, it's you alone determining if you should listen. it's about you alone saying yes it matters to feed the homeless. Yes helping animals is good. Or despite what everyone was saying protesting against the Japanese internment camps is worthwhile. Or that even though it take a lot of time and most people don't care getting my shirt just so matters. Or yes it's worthwhile to help this newbie out in a game even though I doubt he'll really appreciate it or care. Or any other thing. And most importantly it's not just about how many you're effecting, or how many think you're doing something worthwhile, but whether it's worthwhile regardless of scale, because not everyone can do a lot for the many. Some people can only manage to do little things here and there, and they should be proud of what they do, not strive to do more and fail to do anything useful because they're overreaching.