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Viking ZX


Author of Science-Fiction and Fantasy novels! Oh, and some fanfiction from time to time.

More Blog Posts1452

Aug
18th
2014

Being a Better Writer: Language · 8:19pm Aug 18th, 2014

I expect that many of you upon reading this title expected something quite different than what you're about to read. Perhaps a bit of a treatise on the use of various types of language, or on the origins of language, or even on the syntax and verbal tics of characters.

Actually, that last one isn't a bad idea, but I've talked about it before. I guess I could go more in depth with it. If you've never considered how the language of different characters and scenes can affect your writing, well, it's definitely worth thinking about.

But today, I'm going to talk about a different kind of language.

Foul language.


Some of you might not recognize the term (as it isn't as widely used anymore), so I'll get a little more specific. Swearing. Cursing. Derogatory words. Words and phrases that are generally considered impolite. The "F" word. D**n. Stuff like that. And yes, I'm censoring them for this blog. Family friendly.

You got that? All right. Are you ready for one of the biggest shocks of your life?

You shouldn't be using them. At least, not nearly as often as you do.

You see, there's this weird idea among those who want to be "adult" or "mature" that they must "do mature things." So with many young writers, the first thing that they do to prove that they're a "serious writer" is drop as many swear words as they can into their work. To them, it's the mark of maturity. They want to be taken seriously, and that—to them—means that they need to up the foul language to show ... well, I don't really know. That their characters are somehow edgy and "adult?" That they've mastered the complexities of character and dialogue by splitting apart a basic, nine-word sentence with three instances of the word "F***?"

The funny thing is, some of you might think this is amusing, but this actually happens. It happens right here on fimfiction. It happens in the publishing world, so often, in fact, that some editors have a name for the "condition" (and stories with it are summarily fired back). Young writers seem to believe that in order for their work to be taken seriously, in order for it to be better, they and their characters need to swear. And the more the characters swear, the more mature and deep the work is!

Nothing could be further from the truth.

Because the truth of the matter is this: foul language, used with the intent I'm speaking of here, is a damaging, self-destructive crutch. It's the confusing of shock value with actual skill. And it adds nothing to your writing. In fact, it takes away. It damages an author's skill and credibility. And yet, people continue to do it.

Now, I'm not saying that characters in your books shouldn't swear. The problem is that many young writers make characters swear—and swear repeatedly—solely on the concept that this will somehow make their work better. Which isn't true. What's happening here is that writers are taking what they think is the easy way out of a situation. Rather than spend the time to give a character a more carefully constructed dialogue, the writer simply has the character utter a swear (or two or three, because more is better, right?) and move on.

This is actually readily apparent here on this site. How many stories have you read here that, in an attempt to show what the author believes is maturity, have one of the mane six drop a number of f-bombs (or a bowdlerised version) that completely runs against the grain of anything we've seen of the characters in the show?

The thing is, no work is improved by simply dropping swears into it. Having your characters drop swears every few words does nothing to improve your writing or your characters, and in fact cheapens your writing, character, and drives away all but those who somehow are convinced that swearing odds automatic maturity (ie, the majority of the eleven year-old population of Xbox Live).

This isn't what we want. We don't want our characters to be flat. We don't want to resort to crutches. We want our writing to flow. And for that, we need to see foul language for what it is: a tool of character, not a narrative requirement.

Let's look first at two examples of stories that make use of heavy amounts of swearing, since I know a number of people would otherwise try to look to these as examples to justify their own language use. The first is the infamous The Catcher in the Rye. Catcher is well known for its truly impressive degree of language, or at least at the time it came out. It was censored, even banned in some places, and is widely a controversial book even today in public schools. And one of the reasons is the high amount of foul language present.

But with Catcher, the language is a part of the character. The main and viewpoint character, Holden, is an angry, angst-filled teen whose use of language is, the reader quickly realizes, an act of immature rebellion. He is a parallel of the idea that swearing is "mature" and "adult," and acts on this by being as foul-mouthed as he pleases. It's a part of his character that is a clear flaw, and the reader recognizes the immature mentality and reasoning behind the character's language, which in turn establishes Holden's character and gives the reader cause to doubt a lot of the character's own words and decisions and realize how lost Holden really is.

A second example: Gears of War. Despite the reactions of some players, the Gears series has actually been praised for its ability to deliver an incredibly complex world and story that demands the players full attention (which is why players who expect to be spoon fed often complain about a "lack" of story). One of the details that the writers used to educate the players about both the characters and the world was language.

Now, Gears is rightfully known for dropping swear-words like candy (much like Catcher), but again, it's how and when they are used that makes the difference. Let us take, for example, the character Jace.

Jace is, if you pay attention to his character, religious, and as a result, barely swears and tends to keep his language to a minimum. The quips he makes during fights, during his dialogue, all are for the most part, very clean and, though enthusiastic and upbeat, worded in a way that lets you know he's watching himself.

Until one moment. Part of the deepness of the characters comes from the lines they drop over the course of the game, and there's one little gem with Jace that you only get—if I recall correctly—when specific requirements are met. Be in a firefight against superior numbers, bullets everywhere, while firing from cover and jam the reload. The normally tacit Jace breaks, letting loose an absolute flood of panicked profanity that is, in the context of proper English, so overblown as to be completely senseless. It's a moment of character where we see his self-control break, we see the panic take over, and we get a much deeper sense that what's transpiring is getting to him.

How effective would that be if, like some would write it, Jace was already filling his sentences with three or four swears a breath? The break in his demeanor would no longer have meaning. That moment of character would be buried, impossible to distinguish from any of his other moments.

I suppose the best way to put this would be to paraphrase Syndrome from The Incredibles: When everyone's special, no one will be. Foul language is the same way. used frequently, used liberally, used with abandon—it all weakens the narrative. However, held back for a few key moments, or used to define a specific character, it becomes a useful tool, just like anything else in the writer's toolbox.

For example. In Dead Silver, readers notice that by and by, Hawke Decroux, the main character, does not swear often. He's very laid back, very chill, and most of the time when inclined to express displeasure, usually does so in a creative manner rather than stooping to a generic, unimaginative curse. However, the few times he does resort to an actual swear, it says something about both the situation and Hawke's current state. It's an upset, an unusual occurrence that implies that all is not well at the moment.

There are other uses as well. There are a moments when a character will use a swear for emphasis, and these can be great primers of both culture and character. For instance, in any western-genre work you can expect to hear the term "d*mn" tossed around by at least on character with pretty high regularity. But it's part of the character and part of the setting, and authors can do great things by having a character who doesn't swear in that setting as well.

One last thought: if you're going to have your characters swear, please think outside of the box for a moment.

I'm serious. It makes little sense for Pippin to drop the f-bomb in a LotR story (though I'll bet I could find fanfic where he does just that, not that I want to). It makes little sense for the characters in a fantasy world that has no concept of "hell" or "damnation" to use either of the swears or curses associated with the term. Culture, upbringing, the world around us ... All of these thing influence our language (and granted, this goes past swears ... hmm ... new post idea), and the "swears" that your characters use should reflect that. Come up with your own swears, not just bowdlerised versions of swears we have (Battlestar Galactica's "frak" comes to mind) but actual bits of culture and character to them. For example, Wheel of Time had what was, to the seafaring traders, an incredibly potent swear that was "Son/Daughter of the Sands" that usually was met with extreme violence. Or the phrase "Burn," which was usually used in the same way we would use "d*mn."

So, in summary: don't give in to the temptation to make your characters foul-mouthed simply because you think it will make you a more accepted author. It won't. In fact, it will do just the opposite. Like everything else, language, even foul, is a writer's tool. A character piece, or something that will give the reader context and clues to the greater world. It is not a filler, or a mark of sophistication and class (the opposite, in fact). It is a tool to be used carefully, in select places, to deliver context and meaning.

Now, for a writing prompt, I'm going to issue a bit of a challenge. Rewrite a scene in which a character casually swears in two different ways. In the first, use cultural and world-based swears that may allow the reader to learn some new details. The second time, don't use swears at all, and see what change it makes to the characters dialogue. Nothing huge, just two short scenes to see how it forces you to adapt what you write.

Good luck, and I'll hopefully see you next week (my brother is getting married this weekend, so I may have to push the post a day or two).

Oh, and in warning, before any of you think about getting clever and cursing up a storm in the comments, I will be enforcing this blog's clean nature. If you don't censor yourselves, your post will disappear. This is regardless of whether I agree or disagree with you. That's the rule.

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Comments ( 27 )

I agree with this one hundred percent. Only one of my stories uses a cuss word, and it is in context. I thought on whether using it, or leaving it out. I felt that the word was needed at the time, and I don't regret using it.

My thoughts are, to convey emotion, give yourself a challenge and use clever words instead of foul words, because it then makes the story much more fun to read.

I like this blog.

One thing I considered for Stardust was the language the Strike operators would use. On the one hand, my dad once said, "In the Army, the word 'f***' isn't a word, it's punctuation." On the other hand, I don't like writing characters like that and I felt it might make them a bit unlikeable. Now, swearing in situations where the giant demonic spider from space is about to eat your face is perfectly understandable. Other places... not so much.

Also, this blog reminded me of this video.

Another alternative is the Firefly treatment. ^.^

Whenever characters in that show swore, they usually used Chinese instead. Since that ficitonal culture was part-Chinese and almost everyone was bilingual, it made (some) sense to do so.
So, if you have a fictional world where there's more than one common language, you can have them switch to something non-english to swear colorfully in without offending people. :twilightsmile:

(Of course, that show was absolutely brilliant in most areas of dialog. I'd give it the prize for 'best dialog in any work of fiction, ever'. Shiny! :twilightsheepish:)

Personally I am in favor of precision f-strikes, or none at all. Words like those used too often become less effective in the wrong context. Understandable when things from another world are going to eat your face, you pay less attention to your words. Is really odd when Dashie or others swear. Usually attempt by writer to convey "seriousness of situation". Such as in wartime. Sidestepping via second language is common as well.

Three web video series I watch(ed) with little to no swear words:
Let's Play by Deceased Crab, which uses unusual euphemisms like "Bake Sale". Doesn't monetize videos.
Totalbiscuit, who swears a storm on unofficial videos, but keeps it to a minimum for professionalism.
Extra Credits, who uses it in very few videos to put across a point.

Amusingly enough, used to watch Nostalgia Critic because the insane amount of swearing was funny. At first. Also listened to soundtrack of Book of Mormon, but don't like South Park. *shrugs*

Cussing can be in part character when you approach a more low society character such as a gang or street level approach. But is often whole inappropriate among many, and there are other ways to insult and belittle in all levels that dont require the need to curse. But an education level is different for folks.

Another good blog, as usual.

As long as you're on the subject of talking about bad ideas and habits that we tend to bring to writing, can I request a blog about the misuse of the "Fantastic Racism" trope? It seems like writers tend to ape Lewis' and Tolkien's misuse of it to an unfortunate degree while attempting to copy a lot of their less-odious traits.

I don't like using normal swears, I find them uncreative. Instead, be inventive, tell someone to go lick a cactus or that their face is a federal disaster area. There are way too many words in the world to restrict your cussing to just 4 or 5 of them.
:trixieshiftright: As an additional bonus, you can avoid using any official recognized swearwords, and thus avoid filters. It's amazing how creative you can get while staying sub-PG-13.

These were my exact thoughts on how writers use foul language. So many people on this website have the Mane 6 swearing constantly, but I can't imagine them swearing because it's not what they would say in the show. I try to create creative swearwords for the characters who do swear in my stories. It's just weird imagining ponies using human swearwords.
Also, food for thought: If buck is supposed to mean f***, then what does Applebuck Season really say?:rainbowhuh: (This is why you shouldn't replace f*** with buck)

2380849
"Buck" kind of makes sense in some context. "Buck that guy!" could be used as a swear, originating from the context of expressing a desire to physically harm someone, to kick (or buck) them, because they have offended you.

2380555
2380558
Yeah, context does a lot for this. If I were to write a Gears book, I'd have to accept that there would be more swears simply by context. But on the other hand, the mercenary in Colony is a much more silent fighter who expresses her displeasure with firepower rather than words. There's a lot of quantifiers to consider, but in the end, less is more, I say.

2380662
That's a common one. I've totally used this trope before. Funnily enough, real-life can invert this. A guy I knew out east once commented on the mobsters he knew being very clean with cursing in Italian as their mothers wouldn't permit them to swear. He said that the most unrealistic part of The Sopranos for him, in fact, was the Italian swears they used. Most real mobsters used nonsense words like "chestnut" because of their parents. :rainbowhuh: Go figure.

2380693
Yep. Use it sparingly to preserve the shock, regardless of what word it is. That said, if you've ever read Schlock Mercenary, they do a wonderful job dancing around common military swears while still carrying the intent.

2380720
Yeah, I know. Character moments and all that. But it gets really tiresome fast.

2380741
I'd have to dig into it, but are you talking about "Orcs VS Humans" style trope use?

2380756
Pretty much the end of Ringo's Here There Be Dragons. An epic beatdown to a verbal thrashing sophisticated enough that most of it goes over the head of the f-bomb spewing opponent.

2380849
2380931
With regards to "buck" however, the connotation with the writers who use it is clearly a twist on "f**k." The pronunciation, placing, and use by writers (go buck yourself, etc) is clearly not aiming for another possible interpretation. I deliberately did not use the term with TDG, nor do I plan to.

2380986 No question there, few like dealing with that many expletives.

2380986
Yeah. It's kind of a shame, considering that it's a great opportunity to lore-build around language development in Equestria.

2381013
Sun above!
Moon above!
By the stars!
Tartarus!
By the Royal Sisters!
Featherflank!
:pinkiehappy:

2380986 Yeah, pretty much. Really I guess it's an extension of what you've discussed before in your column on creating good villains. In stories that involve large-scale conflict, especially fantasy epics, the good race/species are usually well-fleshed out. They'll often have internal bickering and factions, lots of different philosophies, etc. The bad race/species, however, are usually this monolithically evil group with virtually no internal dissent. They, as a group, don't get much characterization.

And you usually see various "stock" ones depending on genre. With fantasy, orcs are always evil. With "present day" action stories it's Russia/China/Middle Easterners (this one is most troubling for obvious reasons). And with MLP fanfics, it's the griffins. Go ahead, take a look around. Most fics that have them use them as evil, militaristic jerks because the author needed a bunch of mooks to mow down.

Now, sometimes it works. Skynet from the Terminator universe is a good example of a monolithic villain that works. But I think a lot of times it winds up treating beings that, in universe, are individuals as just mindless drones.

2381400
Actually that almost sounds like a primer for worldbuilding nations! :pinkiehappy:

Oh man, I can't wait for you guys to see the stuff that's coming in "Beyond the Borderlands."

2381437 Yeah, I guess that'd be it. Worldbuilding for nations. Just so long as it persuades a few budding fanfic authors to make zebras and griffins more interesting than just "mystics" and "warmongers", respectively.

Also, I was already interested in your next offering of ponies. No further enticement required.

2382014
Well, at the moment I'm debating on who to give the other two in-progress alpha reader spots left open for "Beyond" to. One person is already in the alpha reading. One spot is reserved. The other two ... I'm waffling. I might do a contest for it.

A note on the cultural essence of swears; being Canadian, I know a bunch of swears in English and in Quebec French. English swears mostly focus on nasty or taboo biological things (think genitals and excreta) In Quebec French, they have those as well, but the stronger words are mostly derived from Catholicism (they're called sacres, from sacrament/consecrate). This comes from their strong cultural association with religion and Catholicism. I'll steal an example from Wikipedia's list of Quebec French swears: "Mon tabarnac jva te décalisser la yeule, calice" translates pretty closely to "motherf***er I'mma f*** you up as f***"". "Tabarnac" and "calise" are swears, while "décalisser" and "yeule" are vulgart expressions. Use more creative and varied swears, people. It makes your stuff more interesting.

I'll throw out another note on swearing in general; the highest total number of f-bombs dropped in a feature film (outside of a documentary) is an honor given to a film called Gutterballs - a rape revenge horror film set in a bowling alley. It uses the word 625 times and is 96 minutes long, and so feature a ratio of 6.5 times a minute. No one has seen the film, no one wants to see the film, the only thing it has going for it is a high swear counter. Do not aspire to rape revenge bowling alley levels of fame in your writing.

Comment posted by firefeng deleted Aug 19th, 2014
Comment posted by firefeng deleted Aug 19th, 2014

Wow, I should really pay more attention to all of the post before jumping the gun. (In case anyone is curious, my first comment was deleted because it had a quote containing curse words—totally missed that warning at the end about expletives—and I deleted the second comment myself after getting a PM from Viking.)

To summarize my original point: While I don't disagree with your intent, I think you argue a bit too strongly against foul language.

Expletives are just another tool. And, like any tool, bad writers will use it poorly and good writer's will utilize it to the best of their ability, or not at all if that's what the story calls for.

I'm my world, Griffin's believe that their first king was a god descended from above. They also believe in multiple other gods.
So would it make sense for the Griffin villain to say something along the lines of "d@@nation"?

2382489 We as a culture use "d@@nation" because we as a culture believe in d@@nation - as in, "God will d@@n you to Hell for your sins and transgressions". Not all cultures, even those that are strongly spiritual or that believe in a god or gods, believe in d@@nation. So, you have to look at how you've characterized your griffon religion - if the god is the type that hands out divine punishments, then you're golden. If you haven't really defined it either way, then by using the word "d@@nation", you have painted your god as vengeful or punitive.

2383199 Those are good points. I haven't clearly defined their religion, but my view of their god (or at least, the dark Griffin's god) is vengeful and punitive.

I enjoyed this particular blog post and agree pretty much entirely. I can never stand when cursing is used with such frequency. To me, it shows a lack of creativity. As I like to put it "Any s-word head can f-wording cuss."

Something that might be useful regarding this idea is the TV Trope Precision F Strike at http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/PrecisionFStrike

It shows examples of this idea in action and also has links to Cluster F Bomb (constant swearing,) and Gosh Dang It To Heck (overly censoring yourself)

2381026 hmhm, you missed a few, lets not forget anything using Celestia's name in it when said princess isn't around

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