Read It Later 7: #KILLTREE · 5:22pm Aug 18th, 2014
Oh boy, it’s been awhile. I’ve got plenty of excuses as to why I’m so tardy, but at the end of the day, they’re still excuses. Rest assured this series is far from dead, and like a true hero of the internet, let me tell you that this’ll be needing to go on an official hiatus for three or so weeks. Reasons why will be disclosed in another blog.
Anyways, I decided to do something a little bit different for this round.
When randomly thumbing through my Read It Later list in search of stories to review, I happened to make a realization: at least three appeared to have to do with the loss of the library at the end of Season 4. I did a little more scouring and, hey! Coincidentally, I found six stories that were all published around the same time and at least on the surface, seem to have something to do with that #savetree thing a while back that nobody cares about anymore. Apparently, it’s been gotten over. Y’all were crazy for doing that thing in the first place. Long rest the tree.
This image makes me unreasonably happy.
Good lord, I’ve got a lot of news-stuff to catch up on.
Well, my good friend TheBrianJ’s magnum opus Exit Through Canterlot has finally wrapped up. It’s been a fantastic year and a half in the making, and it’s a great study of character and justice. Amethyst Star is the prettiest accidental supporting character, and it’s been a lot of fun to help him proof. If anyone’s looking for a lightheart long story to read, but often holds off until said stories are complete, here’s you chance now.
Another good friend of mine, alexmagnet, has graciously let me guest-write another chapter of his thing, Scootaloo Dies A Bunch. It’s sort of like that story about disgruntled friendship reports mishmashed with that TV show 1000 Ways To Die. It’s silly stupid fun, and I recommend anyone who likes silly and stupid stories to check this one out. If you want a direct link to the chapter I wrote, you can find it here.
Another other good friend of mine, Corejo, has recently started a new story called For the Benefit of Mr. Kite. I’m helping him proofread it, and while I can’t say for certain what it’s entirely about, I can at least ascertain that this is building up to be a genuine horror story. Mindfuckery goodness is already setting in, eerily reminding me the game Antichamber, if Antichamber were a horror game. It’s promising, and I welcome anyone who’s a fan of grimdark to check it out.
There’s another minific writeoff underway, or I guess, wrapping up. It’s in the voting stages, and there’s a holy crap 51 stories to choose from! Granted, they’re all under 750 words, but that’s like 35k words between them all. There’s actual cash-money on the line thanks to horizon and yamgoth, so we need all the votes we can get. If you’ve got some time to burn and feel like being all judgmental, feel free to land a gavel-weiling hand.
Yet another good friend of mine, RedSquirrel456, has just published the latest chapter of his wonderfully characterized story, The Prince of Dust. It’s a romance between Braeburn and Rarity, and it’s quickly turning out to be quite the adventure. It’s sadly underappreciated and needs more views, and you can tell it’s good not just because of the author’s track record, but because you’ve got such a romance-stingy person like myself endorsing it. Check it out, you can certainly do much worse.
Now then, onto the reviews.
Heart is Where the Home is
by Skywriter
How this ended up on my RIL list: Ah, yes. I remember the surge of treefics just as fondly as the surge of changeling ones. There was nothing particularly standout about this one, and I probably wouldn’t have bothered with it at all if it wasn’t for the fact Skywriter wrote it. I don’t necessarily like everything he writes, but the guy’s definitely competent and if there’s anything I’ve learned, it’s that he likes to be clever. And I like clever people. The other deciding factor was that this story is fairly short, because that description is incredibly vague.
What I walked away with: Meh. Skywriter lived up to that cleverness I was expecting, but the little twist this story has is all it really has going for it. But it’s a bumpy ride to get there and the end looked like nothing on the brochure.
We start with Twilight lamenting the loss of her home and trying to boost her self esteem as she looks over its shattered remnants. That’s pretty much it, given how short this story is. It’s worth noting it’s written in the first person, and I’m disappointed that the twist relied so heavily on that narrative, which felt like it was dragging itself on far more than it needed to.
I have no issue with the first person narrative outright. However, I stand by the assertion that it takes incredible talent to use it with a canon character, as opposed to an OC or background pony. To get inside the head of, say, Princess Celestia and be able to not only accurately capture her voice but keep it consistent, to keep her mind aware of only what her character would naturally be aware of, to actually think like her is an audacious, incredibly difficult challenge. This goes for any canon character, and while some leeway can be given depending on when the story takes place in relation to the present timeline of the show, there’s really no room to mess up at all. You either nail it or you screw the whole thing up. The amount of stories I can name that I’ve read that pull this off takes only one hand to count (I’ve even tried it myself, and I’m pretty sure I botched it).
The point I’m getting at is that this story tries to take the perspective of Twilight, and it really doesn’t. She’s a bit too verbose, too deeply introspective, and while she’s emotional, there’s little to no sense of actual feeling behind it. The story tries to say a lot in order to build the momentum behind its twist, and I’d say it fails to keep a reasonable perspective of its character even harder when the twist eventually comes around.
Had the story been in the third person, perhaps even the second, and keep its themes alive through dialogue with another character, it might have worked even better. The actual story is good, and the twist is pulled off well enough, but the narrative voice made me withhold my belief. It’s just doesn’t feel right.
Afterthoughts: This is competently written, no doubt. As I had expected of Skywriter, there’s definite technical quality, but what this story needed was a narrator who I could believe was Twilight. Unfortunately, it doesn’t, and as a result the twist isn’t as stunning as it might have been. At a little over a thousand words, however, I can think of worse ways to spend a couple of a minutes.
Home Sweet Tree
by The Grey Pegasus
How this ended up on my RIL list: I give props to the story for being the only one I’ve found that covers this topic and uses the Comedy tag. The description alludes to Twilight needing to find a place to stay before she can move into her castle, and ends up failing. The thought of Twilight running between residences in the middle of the night, looking for a place to sleep only to find none of it, is wholly amusing and something I can get behind.
What I walked away with: I’m rather disappointed. This story had potential, but it ends too quickly and its jokes aren’t at all original, let alone funny.
It begins with Twilight coming to the realization her new treecastle (That’s the only acceptable word.) didn’t come with anything really homey, and that’s lacking furnishings. So she needs to find a place to stay in the meantime, and Pinkie Pie’s the first to offer and does so eagerly. As expected, she doesn’t get any sleep here, and ends up moving on to the next friend’s house with Spike in tow.
Pinkie Pie is a brilliant character to make Twilight unable to sleep, and there’s got to be countless possibilities for her to accomplish this. However, much to my disappointment, she rips off the spiders gag from Spongebob, and that’s about all that happens. She then takes Spike and goes to Rarity’s, and the gag that gets pulled off here is nearly identical to the one previous, with only an additional quip or two.
And then that’s it, as far as the nighttime shenanigans go. That we don’t see Twilight going off to her other friends’ places is confusing, as there are definitely more unique ways Twilight can not get her sleep. However, I can see this decision as being one as to not drag a joke on for too long, in which case I agree, because there was really only one joke being told different ways.
The way the story actually ends is also a bit mystifying. It’s not exactly an ending befitting the encompassing theme of Twilight not having a place to stay. While I liked what it does with Pinkie Pie in this ending scene, I feel like the story should’ve used her part as a red herring. It doesn’t, however, and this contributes to my dissatisfaction with the end.
The story has a great concept, but it’s just not executed to where it can really take advantage of all its potential. It’s like forging one’s own path in the woods, only to walk straight into a strong rapid and off a cliff, instead of using the fallen log as a makeshift bridge to get to the other side. Or something like that. Me and my analogies. Anyways, I just wished this story would do more with itself. It’s too short for what it says it wants to do, and in the end I can’t help but feel like the author got tired at some point and just decided to finish the thing. I also really wanted to see Spike do something, as he’s always there, but he’s just there, which is always a disappointment.
Afterthoughts: I wonder how many stories have used the same cover image this one used. But I digress. I wouldn’t really bother with this one at all.
Blink and Miss It
by Ponydora Prancypants
How this ended up on my RIL list: I’ve heard good things about this author, though I’ve never bothered to read any of his stuff before. What made me want to give this story a shot was its description: it’s a poem, and so my first thought was that this whole thing would be a grand poem. Having a fondness of poetry and being written by an author whose reputation precedes him, I’ve got high hopes.
What I walked away with: I’m a bit surprised, really, to see this story isn’t an actual poem like the description alluded to. I’m not sure if I should be disappointed, because I actually really loved what I found instead, but oh well. Maybe if I spam poke horizon, he’ll do something poetic again.
This story can best be described as a mishmash of pressing thoughts and intruding memories all trying desperately to form a cohesive string. In a much simpler form, it’s Twilight’s frenzied thought process in the half second she teleports into the library to save Owlowiscious from Tirek’s hyperbeam.
Similar to Skywriter’s Heart is Where the Home is, this story gets inside the head of Twilight. However, unlike Skywriter’s story, it doesn’t try to be articulate. The single scene has Twilight in a panic, and appropriately, her thoughts convey this. She’s being bombarded with many thoughts at once, namely her need to escape, to save Owlowiscious, and of the fond memories she has of the library and her experiences there. The story doesn’t necessarily need to try and capture her voice, instead it sets out to capture the mood and frantic pace, and the voice her character just falls into place.
I can’t deny that 1200 words is a bit long for what’s supposed to be over in half a second. Realistically speaking, I don’t even think that’s possible, but who am I to argue? I’ve never been in a situation such as this where I’ve been in a total panic. Maybe minds can really slow down like that. Maybe I don’t care. This story is great and I loved it.
Afterthoughts: Ugh... I wish I could figure out more to say about these stories that are just so damn good but are also just so short I can’t really say anything that wouldn’t constitute spoiling. It’s one of those “you have to be there” moments, and I don’t like those. They make me feel guilty.
But seriously though, give this one a read. I’m counting my ducklings before they hatch here, but of the all the treefics, this is probably one of if not the best.
Memories Don’t Burn
by MythrilMoth
How this ended up on my RIL list: Well, it’s short. Also, I’m pretty sure this one actually hit the Featured Box, if not the Popular Stories sidebox. One of those places led me to it, and while the direction of its description is utterly predictable, how it’s written gives me a bit of hope that amongst all the treefics, this one will be different. That it will not stick to the obvious “Twilight is sad” mantra. Seeing the Mane Six character tag and not an individual one for Twilight is reassuring in that regard.
What I walked away with: I think I need to stop getting high hopes for stories with such low word counts, because more often than not they turn out to be disappointments. Such is the case here, because I feel sort of cheated by the one thing the story seemed to promise: acquiescence.
The story starts with Twilight not so much mourning the loss of the library, rather she’s just being sad over it. There’s a bit of a recovery effort in order to save what little remains, and then we skip to some point in the future where she oversees the construction of a new library on this ruined one’s base. I can tell what the story wanted to go for is there—the ideas of coming to terms with loss and moving forward even when all one wants to do is cling to past—but it’s bogged down by just how sad Twilight is.
An overuse of ellipses is one warning sign. However, every “supporting” character seems to go out of their own way to be insensitive. The focus is centered on getting new stuff to replace what was lost, whereas it barely touches the concept of everlasting memories, like the title of the story itself implied. To its credit, the story tries to be poignant, and I can see well enough that the elements are there, but it just can’t because of the down-in-the-dumps attitude it gives Twilight without any considerable effort to improve her mood.
And I think that’s what I dislike the most about this. Twilight’s attitude goes from a negative one to a positive one without any real development. It just happens. Twilight’s supposed to be coming to terms with her loss, but I didn’t see any of that happen and the story seems to just skip over it. Something else of note is that this story is clearly about Twilight, yet it doesn’t have her as a character tag. The Mane Six one is nearly irrelevant.
Afterthoughts: As with a lot of these short stories I don’t like, it just needs to be longer and actually do the things it advertises to work. As it is, I don’t think this one is worth the time reading.
How this ended up on my RIL list: I really don’t know, actually, unless I noticed it on the homepage at some point. I didn’t even realize it was a treefic until about halfway through reading it. As far as what made me want to read this, the description is pretty much all it has going for it. The cover image helps, but I found myself hesitant to open it. Nothing on the surface can explain that for me, at least. Oh well.
What I walked away with: I ended up feeling tired, and that made me realize what held me back at first: this story is just about flush with redundancy (so shows the description, looking back at it). It has a nice, simple message, but it takes far too long to get to it.
We begin with Twilight sitting somewhere—the story never actually tells us where, and it isn’t until over halfway through we actually get a bit of setting. She’s pouring over this empty book, trying to find out if it has anything in it, but after much scouring, she turns up empty. She then gets up and walks towards the smoldering remains of the library, where she laments with her friends and we learn this blank book, in a sort of ironic twist, is the only thing to have survived.
The message of the story is predictable, and it’s that this book is a metaphorical and physical blank slate, the start of a new chapter in Twilight’s life as a princess. It’s very sweet, but the message ends up being shoehorned into the story by how long it takes us to even get to it. At least the first half of the story is about Twilight scouring over the book to see if there’s anything in it. It’s unnecessarily long and all it does is repeat itself, which makes the actual story seem unimportant in comparison.
I don’t want to say what happens after Twilight enters the remains of the library is cliché, because I can’t think of the word I want right now, but the emotion is uncomfortably forced. Everyone seems to make a point of how sad they are, which contributes to the ending feeling shoehorned and makes everything else feel rushed. Everything but the beginning, though. Actually, that sudden discrepancy in pacing made this story feel like two that were just stuck together. It’s strange.
Afterthoughts: This story could stand to be a lot shorter than it currently is, and I don’t think I need to repeat which part in particular I’m talking about. At the very least, if that were trimmed then the whole pace of the story would be relatively even and more easily digestible. But as is, I can’t say I’d recommend this one.
What You Leave Behind
by Blueshift
How this ended up on my RIL list: I’m looking at that description and all I can think about is a genuine mourning. A story that doesn’t really try to do anything daring and just wants to capture that feeling of loss and that feeling alone. Stories that understand what they’re about are some of the best, so I’m eager to give it a look. That ellipsis has me a little wary, I admit. Not to mention the shameless hashtag, but it can’t be so bad, can it?
What I walked away with: God dammit, Blueshift.
This story starts off as a paint-by-numbers kit of melancholy. Everything is overdramatic, points are overemphasized, and I can’t shake the feeling that there’s sunglare everywhere. If this were a movie, the camera would be held down by the legs and pointed up to capture everyone’s glossy looks with the sun glaring over their shoulders while some profound music plays in the background. It’s just that heavy handed.
...Which is a very clear indicator that something’s awry. Blueshift’s a competent author, so I can’t believe he’d make something so intentionally bad. Sure enough, the story takes a sudden left turn sharp enough to alter the Earth’s rotation. I don’t want to spoil at all what the twist is, but oh my god does it twist.
But this story is a sort one-off thing. It’s a bit of a farce about the whole #SAVETREE thing anyways, which given my stance on the subject, I found enjoyable. I can’t really say much else without spoiling, though. So yeah.
*cough*
Afterthoughts: Those looking for a nice, short story to burn through would want to check this one out. Otherwise, well, you really aren’t missing anything at all.
Oh, before I forget, I need to return a few favors. You see, a couple people caught wind of what I’m doing here, so it feels only right that I do the same.
Chris is not only a very competent writer, but he also frequently reviews stories too. Check out his rambling pony blog here, where he frequently updates with very in-depth and articulate analyses of various different ponyfiction. He’s taken it upon himself to review every six-star story on Equestria Daily, and he’s already completed that audacious feat. Now he’s tackling “fandom classics” and is always on the lookout for suggestions. Check out his blog for more.
The City Of Doors, led by a person whose FIMFiction account I cannot find, is even more crazed than Chris is. This guy’s not only does frequent, just about daily reviews, but they’ve upon themselves to document and catalog every single review this community has ever produced. Every. Single. One. So if you want to see if any of your stories have at all been reviewed, check out the master list. It too updates frequently.
Also, I’m going to be gone for about ten, maybe fourteen days. Not like anyone cares. I’ll explain the specifics in another blog post before I leave in two days.
You can’t look at this and frown. You just can’t. Stop trying. Stop.
Also it is important to point out mine was the first 'dead tree' fic on fimfiction.
And I made Knighty do the #savetree thing. Because I'm a monster.
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You are the worst.
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Literally.
It was my plan to torpedo the inevitable fandom grief over tree by hijacking it first.
The fimfic user that runs The City of Doors blog is right here.
Also, Goddammit Blueshift.
You might have missed the point that, in Heart is Where the Home is, the perspective isn't supposed to be Twilight's, but instead Trixie's. Not sure what that says about the story.
Other than that, I guess I agree with everything here. I still believe that Blueshift should be used as a verb for that kind of twist (as in, "the story blueshifted").
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One day, one day...
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Oh, I understood that perfectly. That was the twist I kept referring to but I didn't want to, well, spoil it at all by alluding to it.
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The best way to make a new word is to start using it.
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The story was a metafic, and the image to the story and the description, as well as the timing, were meant to trick the reader into thinking that the narrator was Twilight, even though the text itself never said that. The point isn't to trick the reader into thinking that it is Twilight via the text, but the context. I suspect that the story would have had more kick if you had read it after all the other #savetree fics, as it is a subversion of them. Rather like why "Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side!" is actually a metajoke which has lost its meaning; the point of the joke is that you're supposed to tell it after telling a whole bunch of other "Why did animal X cross the road" jokes which are all lame puns (Why did the cow cross the road? To get to the moovies!), so when you get to the chicken joke, it makes the audience laugh because it isn't a pun, it is just the obvious answer.
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Yeah, I got that. The story establishes the idea the protagonist is Twilight through deception, but I didn't want to say that as to spoil that particular aspect of the story. So I added to the deception in order to not spoil it, keeping to refer to the twist the story pulls when it corrects us as “the twist."
Also, I didn't consider the meta quality of it, but that's interesting for you to bring up.
City of Doors guy is Singularity Dream on Fimfic, FYI :V
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Shhh! Stop blowing my cover like that! I'm supposed to be incognito. Mostly because I wanted to use the word incognito in a sentence. It's one of my favorite words.
Plus, I'm not trying to cover every single review the fandom produces. Just the text-based fairly regular output of all the reviewers I can find. Totally different.