They Keep Getting More Hideous · 1:40am Aug 12th, 2014
Hasbro. Seriously. Stahp.
So I'm home from the field for a week, and I decide to walk into a Toys 'R' Us and browse the pony aisle, and what should I see to offend mine eye?
Teh horror.
Yes, Brony. It's "Pony Mania." If it were not already apparent that Hasbro suffers from Monster High Envy, this should remove all doubt.
It only gets worse:
I know Chrysalis is evil, but good gravy, what is she wearing?
If that isn't bad enough, check out Zecora:
Gyahh!!!
The Pony Mania logo, as you may notice if you can see it in these pictures, features dripping black goo and a little spider hanging from it. I have a sinking feeling that "Pony Mania" is going to be the subtitle of Equestria Girls 3. No doubt that will be the movie in which the ponies decide to daub on heavy eyeshadow and dress themselves in black leather and fishnets. Then after that they can cut themselves and complain about how their daddies don't understand them.
Yes, yes, I get it that these are supposed to be "fashion" dolls, but I seem to think there was a time once—before I was born, probably—when "fashion" was supposed to make you look beautiful instead of make you look fugly. These are some seriously fugly ponies.
Can't anyone grab a poker or something and end this???
This is almost enough to make me go into full-on Previous Gen Collector Mode and start grousing to newspaper reporters about how Hasbro is ruining my childhood and Bronies are weirdos. Oh Megan, where art thou? The One True Judge has been away too long!
And lo, Magog sitteth on her throne, and she speaketh unto Photo Finish, "Thou art guilty of high crimes against fashion. Thou shalt be cast into Tartaros, which is the second death."
In fact, all these pictures of hecka ugly pony fashions cause me to feel the need to cleanse my eyes with some real fashion.
And then my soul found peace.
Well now you just sound...petty.
Yeah, I'm not intensely surprised by anything Hasbro does anymore.
I had to LoL at Zecora though, I couldn't help myself
And once again, Applejack is not included.
The horror, the horror.
2362915
She's the only one who refused to sign the contract
2362907
I think either your sense of humor or mine is broken today.
2362936
If it is humorous, it is really hard to tell. But I dunno, maybe it's just me.
Ugh. The 'goth' phase.
2362952
Well, my tongue is certainly in my cheek, but these really are ugly. I do miss the days when the fashions of My Little Pony actually looked like something that goes with the name, "My Little Pony":
mlptp.net/photoplog/images/14/1_IMG_0260.JPG
You know, a lot of women burned to death in those large skirts.
2362982
Actually I didn't know, but we have fewer open fires now.
I also know corsets were torture devices, but so are high heels. In any case, I am not claiming that the dresses in the final plate are practical or comfortable, only that they are beautiful.
2362969
Maybe it's just because I've always kind of liked the goth/punk look more than frilly dresses. Though I do admit the Japanese lolita style of dress (not the bad internet kind) is pretty cool, even mixing both styles.
2362996
So-called "Lolita" is basically a toned-down Victorian or Edwardian style. I like it too, though I object to the term. The protagonist in my novel-in-progress Rag & Muffin dresses in Lolita style, though, again, I avoid the term.
2363006
What is your term for it? Because I'd really like a different term so I don't get strange looks when I bring it up, since I really like the style.
2363016
I don't know one. I describe her outfit in some detail, but I don't recall referring to it as any particular style. If pressed, I would probably say, "Victorian." Most people get the basic idea when they hear that, though most are perhaps thinking of something more like what you'd see at an anime or steampunk convention than the real deal.
2362915 The way these things look, as one of her fans, I think I'm very grateful for that.
AJ wouldn't look very good as Goth, anyway. Rainbow Dash, maybe, but AJ? No. Just...no.
Hasbro is looking more and more like one of the Addam Family´s antagonists. I wonder what would Wednesday say?
38.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mdcjo5OEX01rn5a30o3_r1_250.gif
Yeah, something like that.
I never thought I would see My Little Pony go goth. You know, Hasbro, Mattel made Monster High it's own brand instead of mutating Barbie. What's stopping you from making a new brand of goth dolls if you think goth will sell?
I wonder what controlled substances get passed around Hasbro HQ sometimes. Transformers you transform by flipping around? Goth My Little Pony? Who comes up with this stuff, and who writes off on it?
Am I the only one disturbed by the blackened cutie marks? That kind of screams "horrific corruption of the soul."
2362915
She has too much common sense to be involved in this ridiculousness.
I bought the Chrysalis because I can't have enough Chrysalis, but after seeing the six-pony collection in person, I decided against it. Gothlestia is awesome, but the rest are kind of... not. :/ Zecora's okay, though.
Facial tattoos for everypony!
It was cruel of Applejack to duck out and convince Fluttershy to cover for her.
2364592 Well, only partially. I mean, Fluttershy's mostly doing it for the Apple Juice deals.
....Go on....
I liek it
WAT!?
Chrysalis with the socks just looked .... okay, see, Chrysalis already is pretty damned creepy. She's the sadistic, scheming evil mind-controlling leader of a race (or maybe just one Hive of a race) of possibly-Pony creatures that shapeshift and eat emotions and live like eusocial insects (my theory is that they're what happened to the Flutterponies given a very tragic intervening history) who looks freaking undead and could be sitting right next to you pretending to be your lover or best friend, And they think they're going to make Chrysalis scarier by giving her long blue socks? Or for that matter, considering her power mix, sexier? In her creepy-evil succubus-like "love is just food" way?
Aargh. They should take whoever thought of this and toss him to a Changeling hive, except that I doubt he'd have enough emotions to make more than a snack for a Changeling.
2364592
Fluttershy looks as if somepony attacked her coat with permanent magic markers. Given the bizarreness of her look and her rather modest personality, the smile looks really creepy on her face -- as if some enemy has drugged her and in her mind she's seeing her animal shelter with all the friendly animals as her twitching drugged body is being put in an iron cage and shipped overseas to the lair of some villain.
2364139
For that matter, they could make a new line of goth Pony dolls by just making up new characters who like the look.
2362915
Does Applejack want to be included in that set?
2376541
SHE WASN'T INCLUDED IN THE MCDONALDS SET EITHER!
2376522
Wait, I have a better fate for the one who designed Chrysalis:
From Collateral Damage, with a simple change of victim. And much more kindness to Ceymi, who doesn't give a damn about Hasbro designers. Especially those who make Changeling Royalty wear silly socks.
2362909
They dressed me like this to make some bucks / but honestly it really sucks.