Things That Piss Me Off Vol. 3: Spaghetti, Fedoras, and You · 11:10pm Jul 29th, 2014
Indeed, Adorable Babs, I am.
Okay, this one has been festering for a while. Please forgive the slightly random nature of this blog.
What in the actual fuck is with this fandom hating itself so much?! Seriously, every time I hear about "Autism," "spaghetti," "Cheeto dust," or "fedoras" it ALWAYS comes from inside the fandom! You see this kind of talk pop up every year during convention season, and it's beginning to piss me the fuck off. Every time I log onto this site or Facebook, I see some new post about, "Ugh, there was SO much Cheeto dust at X-con! I sat down next to this girl/guy, and spaghetti everywhere!" I see this, and I just want to start punching motherfuckers in the throat. Guess what, high speed? Yeah, there are some people who aren't as socially adjusted as you, and guess what else? Cons finally give them an opportunity to get out and meet people. And who do they meet? Assholes who laugh and point at their attempts to be more outgoing.
Let me tell you a story. Back at The Con Of Which We Do Not Speak, during one of the many times when the main panel hall was empty—because TitanicCon was jacked up more than a sailor's dick durin shore leave in San Francisco—myself, PonyToast from Fillydelphia radio, and several others struck up an impromptu game of Whose Line Is It Anyway on the stage. There were about five of us who participated, just generally acting like morons, but then there was Mickey Mouse. I call him that because I shamefully cannot remember his name, but he had a Mickey shirt on. Anywho, this guy... well, there's no way to sugar coat it, he sucked. But mainly because he seemed so incredibly uncomfortable. When we would be running up to do random suggestions, he would be on the side of ths stage, but then he would take his turn.... and freeze. Badly. He'd mutter something under his breath, and then run off.
It was very obvious that the guy was awkward socially, that he didn't have any experience in this kind of thing. Now, did we, the people who were mroe comfortable in our own skin, laugh at him and tell him to fuck off? Did we point and make fun of his obvious social issues, possibly even autism/Aspbergers/phobia?
No. We encouraged him. We gave polite applause to him when he tried and failed, offered a bit of advice, and told him top get back in line to go again.
Now, after the game—still over an hour with no panel taking place, because HindenCon—we were as people find themselves when they have nop direction or instruction: standing in a circle, bullshitting. Mickey was there, and he wouldn't ever really participate in our conversations. Every now and then, he would awkwardly speak up about some complete nonsequitor, something that had zero bearing on the conversation, but was obviously an attempt to steer it towards something he could contribute on. Did we tell him to shut the fuck up? Did we laugh at the "Spaghetti" and walk away?
No. We humored him a bit, before gently steering the conversation back on track.
You may ask why we did all this? This was some random asshole at EdselCon who was interfering with us trying to have a good time! WHy humor him and his painfully obvious social woes?
Because the entire time, he had the biggest shit-eating grin on his face. This guy was a bit taller than me, and probably a few pounds overweight, but I swear the look on his face would give Fluttershy a run for her money in terms of sheer adorability. He was having so much fun, and seeing him gradually open up a bit and try, just try to fit in, and succeeding even a little bit, was a feeling that I can honestly say made my day.
Now yeah, there are the occasional actual, for real "neckbeards," at these conventions, I won;t deny this, but in my con travels, I met precious few of them. For the most part, I saw people like Mickey Mouse: shy, awkward people who didn't have a whole lot of experience in social gatherings, and who just wanted to feel like they belong. So, when a group started singing a song, they sang along, because it gave them a sense of belonging to something. When random people offered hugs, they gladly took it, because goddammit, they desperately want to live in that kind of world. Or people like me, who go to conventions because 362 days out of the year, I am a professional, and for three days, I just want to nerd the fuck out and be wacky.
So, as we head on to Bronycon, just keep that in mind. How about we stop making fun of these people, and start helping them? This fandom is a beautiful thing to so many people. It give those who don;t belong, who don;t fit in, a chance to have some fun and feel like they are a part of something. Now, yeah, the same could be said about any fandom, but I honestly believe that bronies are something special.
Oh, and a brief word to any fellow military bronies who may read this: if you are one of those who laugh and moan about "Cheeto Dust and Spaghetti," you should be fucking ashamed of yourself. Last time I checked, we were professionals. We were the ones holding ourselves to a higher standard than civilians. We were the ones that the rest of the country look to for reference on what a human being should be. We should be the ones leading the charge here! We should be going out of our way to help those people like Mickey Mouse, because the rest of the civilian pukes out there see us as an example on how to conduct themselves. Hows about we do the right fucking thing, eh?
/rant
/butthurt
/rage
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*slow clap*
hoo rah.
The Cheetos meme I get, but spaghetti? When did spaghetti become a thing.
Also, may want to dial it down a notch there. I thought you were going out there to enjoy yourself, not whip yourself up into a frenzy.
To be fair I wouldn't look up to military, police or security for "high moral fiber" because we're all terrible people... our jobs just require us to shove that terribleness in the closet around the public.
Just kidding, in this fandom the "enforcement" bronies are the ones that have hearts that got us into these careers. I'll admit that we probably say and do terribly stupid and immature things, but as long as our hearts are in the right place we're still good people.
Don't let your mouths override your hearts guys.
Amen.
And for today's "Jake continues to be awesome"....
2327126
As far as I'm aware, the thing with spaghetti is a sort of thing where one does something really awkward to the point others feel embarrassment for you. I know it predates the pony fandom, and I think the other things Jake brought up (Cheetos, neckbeards, fedoras) follow the same route. No clue when using Autism as an insult started to happen, but I digress.
I think Jake brought up an unintended but interesting dichotomy. On the internet, it's easy to forget the person you're talking to is another human being. But in person, it's easy to remember that everyone's more or less very similar. Everything usually starts out as a joke (ex: derp) but then people who aren't in on it see what's going on as a being a legitimate thing, and that's how we end up with this "hate."
I'm just going to recall what my kindergarten teacher said and treat others the way I want to be treated.
Oh Jake, you're the only person who can make me feel righteously angry, extremely proud, and highly amused all at once.
More seriously, I truly do believe that this fandom is something special. For all our drama and defensiveness, bronies in general look out for each other. We all have a common interest and many of us feel ashamed of our fondness for this show, so to see socially awkward people go out in public to meet other people with similar interests, and for those other people to understand and support them... It's a beautiful thing, is it not?
And for all the people who bemoan our fandom and complain about how 'bad' it is... I have never seen any of them point to a better one.
lol You got me wonderin what I should expect to see at Bronycon...
2327327
Lots of fun. The people I am bitching about here are but a vocal minority. For the most part, you'll have a blast.
2327337 You gonna be there?
I gotta agree with you Jake ever since I joined the FOB skype group I've been seeing a lot of this BS. They're great, but damn they're making me more jaded and cynical at the fandom. They're not entirely to blame, the hiatus and losing interest is also to blame, but I'm tired of autism jokes from them it's just the new way of calling someone retarded.
2327365
Yessir! I'll be on two panels, and randomly roaming around the vendor's hall, buying way too much swag.
2327398 I'll be lookin for ya then! Us Old Warriors gotta stick together around all these greenhorns!
2327365 His previous blog post.
2327435 lol with all the shit goin on here at home, and me getting ready for the con, I had completely forgotten about that blog he did.
Thank you.
+1
Oh, also, what's wrong with fedoras?
My grandfather owned a men's clothing store.
Rant about styles changing and modern views on previous decades.I've still got a lot of the clothes he passed down to me. Powder-blue shirts and charcoal suits never went out of style, just as he predicted.Anyway.
I have multiple fedoras. From black-tie formal to "has been worn on a farm daily since the late 1800s until my great-grandfather sold the farm in the 1990s." Every fedora I own has a suit to match it, except the farm one.
And that's my rant. I'd never heard the terms "spaghetti" or "cheeto dust" before. But bravo to your own rant, sir.
Why can't I "like" blog posts?
Seriously, though, you make a good point. It's way too easy to make fun of people, and the really cool thing about this fandom to date has been that we tend to be much less likely to do so. I'd hate to see the sort of encouragement and support you mentioned just disappear.
Um...besides the adorable Babs pic, I totally agree with you Jake.
The acceptance of bronies is something that makes me proud to call myself a brony. Conventions should be a place where bronies of all kinds should feel welcome and safe.
As a worker at BronyCon I want it to be a highlight of the year for other people like it was for me. Hell last years BronyCon had a major impact on me and has been a major benefit for me. And so help me Celestia if such bullying occurs at BronyCon give me the words and drive to do everything I can to end it. That BS anit happening on my watch. Not at BronyCon.
...ehem...
/rant
Well fucking said. Anyone who believes in humanity's power to roundhouse kick adversity upside the head with steel-toed boots (which, I hazard to say, should be damn near everyone) should encourage attempts to better one's self Overcoming social anxiety is not an easy feat, and anyone stuttering on this rocky path needs all the help they can get. Pointing and laughing and making a target out of this person will only reinforce the feelings of shame and self-loathing that lead to their social issues in the first place - the devilish whispers telling them that they aren't "good enough" to fit in with other people. Shame and senses of unworthiness are profoundly dangerous - I know firsthand. They've kept me from churning out a story for the past two years, and I'm still fighting to keep these feelings at bay. Anyone who consciously tells someone they aren't good enough - either directly or otherwise, through bullying and such, is only interested in the summary destruction of humanity, and has no place amongst the wise.
2327480 I like fedoras too.
Huh. I was recently wondering why I followed you a while back considering I haven't read any of your stories. This just reminded me of why. YOU UNDERSTAND! Dude you can not believe how happy this blog post made me. Not just because of the mutual hatred of stupid phrases that are honestly more immature than even us bronies. But also because of the fact that your a......nice guy.....hmm, screw that, because your an (adjective that I can't think of because it's complicated but in a completely positive and platonic way) guy who dissent see the entertainment value of ragging on people who can't help but be the way they are(the are exceptions however, just a couple). Here, have a <unimplemented-dinky-approval-glomp>
I don't understand the spaghetti, fedora, and other stuff brought up, but then again, I am not the most observant nor quick to pick up on things kind of person. But I have noticed people on this site, youtube videos, etc. being complete assholes, and I'm just sitting there thinking, "Really? I mean... really?"
Kudos to you and the people you were with to include that shy guy in your fun. You really are someone who can be respected as not just an author, but as a person as well. Keep doing good, just from reading your blogs when they appear on my newsfeed, I can tell you're an amazing person who won't take crap, even more so when it's dealt to others. Keep being awesome, and know this. You are...
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2328146 The spagetti is a new one, not familiar with that, but the Fedora and Cheeto dust fingers is a common internet meme on the perception of internet addicts and hipster culture. Its actually a mishmash of a number of popular stereotypes all jumbled together.
Neckbeard is a pejorative term referring to unattractive, overweight and misogynistic Internet users who wear a style of facial hair in which a majority of the growth is present on the chin and neck. Predominantly used for stereotypes of overweight guys with poor hygiene and don't shave to a stylish bear and just let it grow out wherever without trimming, and are often perceived as misogynistic as women won't date them because women are scumbags and not because they happen to be ugly and unhygienic.
Fedora's are commonly associated with Hipsters, particularly internet hipsters, in the 'its so out of style that I wear it ironically as a style' thing. So internet hipsters are often associated as the type who wear a fedora seriously.
Cheeto fingers is a long standing one of the avg internet addict. Stuck in parents basement with fingers covered in cheeto dust; anti social in rl while loud outspoken white knighting on internet crusades in the forums.
And the brony culture, being a heavily internet one, much of the net tends to envision something like analogaddiction.files.wordpress.com/2014/02/south-park-world-of-warcraft.jpg when they think of the average brony. It's become the perception many of the more outspoken internet cliques have of the fandom from looking on it from the outside.
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But we can only make fun of final draft so much! Mickey mouse is an awesome example of a person growing and being in a supportive community. Awkward questions to the VAs and those colored badges are just too easy, come on.
I was actually at that con and watched that skit. I thought it was funny as hell, and yeah its not cool to pick on socially awkward people and your a douche nozzle if you do. Props
I love spaghetti!
I'm also one of those people that can eat my weight in food and still look like a stick ... I take fod wasters very seriously, they are bad, bad peoples!
I'm glad your not a complete dick in RL
After seeing so many blogs that rouse shitstorms and flame wars and drama lately on my feed, it's very, very refreshing to see a positive message finally being thrown out there.
I just wanna say...thank you for doing this as I people who do that. Especially considering that I have Asperger's myself and hate people who take the piss with us for being socially awkward
This gave me a good laugh. Feel a bit better getingg that all out?
I may be heading up there with another marine from 1/9. My jeep is in the show for the foreseeable future. If I go il see you there
Aye, I've seen these peeps on both sides of the isle. I try to be sociable to everyone at cons, but there have been couple I had to remind them to be nice to others or shut the hell up.
Thankfully, a lot of the community is kind and supportive, but like every fandom, we do have the jack-asses, and they are usually the loudest and attention seeking types.
I agree, 100%. Anyone who thinks this fandom is overly weird or awkward is pretty damned sheltered. We've got nothing on some of the weirder stuff I've seen over the years.
2331650
I dunno, I've probably got you beat on the 'weird stuff seen/heard'. I used to do con-badges and commissions at Fur-cons. Sadly, there's no such thing as brain-bleach to purge the things I was asked to draw.
2331701
Being asked to draw weird stuff is one thing.
Some of the weirdness in the goth/industrial scene is on a whole different level.
Belated reply is belated, but the "why" aspect of this is as obvious as it is disappointing: personal insecurity and the nerd hierarchy.
Like you, some people are content to "geek out" for a weekend, or to see Mickey Mouse and say "hey, he's a little awkward, but more importantly he's a sweet person." They're laid back, and just looking for everyone to enjoy themselves.
Unfortunately, not everyone is so enlightened. They see a room of a thousand grown men singing "Smile, Smile, Smile", or see that one Fluttershy cosplayer and they panic right the hell out. And, just like an elementary school bully, they throw other people underneath them in order to feel better about themselves. "Sure, I'm at this convention, but at least I'm not in a fursuit! I'm one of the 'normal' bronies, not like that neckbeard over there! Everything that I do makes me de-facto 'normal', and thus everyone more extreme than myself is a deviant and open to ridicule! Those cloppers are sick! Making fun of mental disabilities is hilarious!"
Hell, I know at least three authors on this site, with stories using the Mane Six and which have thousands of views and plenty of faves/follows, who avidly deny even liking ponies on this very site. Blogposts like "This show is dumb, I'm just whoring out cuz I know pony fanfiction gets way more views that original stuff." And yet that supposed hatred doesn't stop them from hanging around, or pumping out new content. Okay.
It's certainly disappointing. Naively, I'd hope that people in the fandom of "love and tolerance, wait no we were only being ironic lol" would be more predisposed to being openminded. But in reality we're just human, and that comes along with the pettiness and the hatred. You basically said it yoursef: this fandom is its own worst enemy.
NOPONY, AND I MEAN NOPONY CALLS ME ADORA-
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D'aww, I am adorable!
This was very well said. Good job.