The End of I Forgot I Was There · 10:51pm Jul 21st, 2014
Your ending was bad and you should feel bad!
Well, that could have gone over better. Obviously, a lot of readers didn't care for the ending of IFIWT, and so I'm going to talk about my feelings on the story and respond to their criticisms all in one big blog post of... posty... ness. Before I get into that though, on a positive note, it was oddly warming to see that the criticism of the ending was just that—criticism. Not hate. A lot of you guys said you didn't like it, but all the comments were polite, and well thought out, and obviously carefully considered. There was none of the comment hate you'd see in other forums. It's a little thing, but it reminded me about why this fandom is awesome, and that was a little bright spot in it all. So, thanks guys. Keep being awesome.
Now, let's talk about why that ending flew like a lead balloon.
First off, I want to address the two big criticisms I heard: that this was a reconnected or shoehorned in ending, and that I wrapped the story up way too quickly because I just wanted to get it over with. The first criticism is untrue. I'm sorry if you didn't like the ending, but this was the intended ending all along. Twilight dropped a lot of hints along the way that her dying was a possibility she considered likely, and in the end she was proven correct. I'll talk more about why I think that's a good ending later, but it was certainly the planned ending.
The second criticism on the other hand is... well. Largely correct. I'm sorry, I know it's a lame excuse, but writing IFIWT had long since become a chore instead of something I do for fun. It felt like a second job, and it was misery to crank out paragraph after paragraph of what I quickly realized was drivel. You could tell with one glance that whoever wrote it was frustrated and angry. I didn't want to subject you to that, so after months of no progress, I decided I was going to wrap up IFIWT as quickly as it could be properly done. That did mean that a bunch of side threads went unresolved, but I thought I could give the main thread a proper sendoff.
Now, let me say why I think I managed that.
No, that's not it.
The most common explanation I've heard for why the ending was bad is that Sparkle never got her time to shine -- the story was Twilight Twilight Twilight, and just when it looks like Sparkle might turn things around, Twilight steals the spotlight for good by having the audacity to go and die, leaving Sparkle forever in her shadow. And well, that's pretty much accurate, but it was also the point. Twilight and Sparkle are the same character, just subject to different circumstances. Twilight was encouraged from the word go, and empowered by her friends. Sparkle was put in a position of guilt, and her friends heaped obligations upon her she wasn't ready for.
Sparkle wasn't crushed by an evil clone, she was overshadowed by what she might have been if her life had just gone a little bit differently—kept from achieving her full dreams by the knowledge that she could have already achieved them. She suffered from, quite literally, self-loathing, and the interaction between her and Twilight was intended to serve as a metaphor for such.
Even in the end, when Twilight throws her goodbye party and writes her letters, the fact that that will totally overshadow Sparkle doesn't occur to her at any point. She is genuinely trying to give her friends fond memories and a good sendoff, because that is what someone who is thinking primarily of her friends would do. Twilight doesn't think about Sparkle because she's starting to live the dream, while Sparkle can't do anything but think about Twilight because Twilight is the manifestation of everything that's been taken from her.
And in the last scene, Sparkle (now Twilight Sparkle again), realizes that. She really can have everything Twilight had, any time she's willing to get over herself and take it. But she's not sure that she has that in her.
Woop woop! Sadfic alert!
That was the idea anyway. I guess I'll wrap this up by saying that my feelings on IFIWT itself are... mixed. It was my first fic, and all the support you guys gave me over it inspired me to really get more serious about my writing. It was a two year long effort, and a fantastic experience, and I'm very glad I did it. At the same time, I wish I could have done better. With proper pre-planning, it wouldn't have gotten away from me, and I would have been able to give you guys the finish you deserved. I feel my later works, like Siren Song and Arbitrage are much better than IFIWT, but at the same time, I know IFIWT is what made them happen.
So really, my feelings on it all come back to you guys. You've given me a ton of encouragement along the way, and IFIWT was a great experiance. I know the ending could have gone over better, but I hope you had fun with it anyway. Thanks for reading.
I, for one, thought the ending was alright.
-Theodore "Dr. Suess" Geisel
You know, I should get around to actually reading that ending some time.
If you'd marked it as a Tragedy, then I would have been more understanding. Without that, I was expecting something that didn't end in a great heap of depression.
Guess I was confused about the main plot thread then, as I couldn't really have cared less how it wrapped up for mirror Twilight. Original Twilight was the one that mattered to me, and all she got by the end was a familiarity with being screwed over by her "friends".
I'm sorry, but the story would have been better canceled or permanently on hiatus than with those last two chapters. From how well written the majority of it was, it really could have been better.
Don't worry. I didn't feel anything one way or the other.
Honestly - and I hope I'm not being too blunt - even that much explained in some suitable way would have been better than the ending you actually wrote. But those are things that can only be vaguely guessed at, because "She turned to the window and cried" leaves the story and the reason for her tears extremely ambiguous in light of everything she'd gone through up to this point. It makes sense that she might feel the way you describe, but then she could also have been grieving for the loss of 'Twilight's' life, for the roll she played in her loathing of 'Twilight', for the hurt that everything caused her and the realization that there's no going back to fix anything, or any number of other complex reasons. Instead it just ends, like an unexplained suicide, evoking only confusion in your readers.
I totally appreciate that you were clearly over the fic a while back, though, and it's great that you at least brought the story to a close. At least in this sense, we don't have to wonder now if you'll ever finish this fic, as happens with so many others on the site.
Thanks for a wonderful story, at least to that point. While it was a tough read, emotionally, it was insightful and interesting and well-written, and I did enjoy it.
I do think you kept well the message of the story till the end, and I don't mind ambiguous, sad endings.
As you mentioned, it was obvious you wanted to wrap it up and be over with it. Could it have been better, have you not been tired of it? Probably, but I think you did well anyway. Loved the story to the end. 
Thanks for writing it.
There's still the matter of the unfinished and unresolved side plots to Celestia, Discord, Twi's friends, and so on. That's really the only criticism that I have. I wanted to see how the effects of such a thing would pan out in the future.
With that over with though, It was very well done. Congrats on completing your story. Will we see another masterpiece in the future?
I'm gonna take a pause in reading right here to tell you that on reading that, my snap reaction was to yell out "That's not true!" really freaking loud.
...I'll write something a bit more descriptive, if someone else hasn't already covered it in the comments.
It's an ending that left me with a lot to think about, for sure. I'm glad you brought it to completion, and that it led to further stories!
(Note the emote's called Twilight Smile and not Sparkle Smile, HA HAAA oh im a terrible person.)
...I still kinda wish there had been more Sparkle. But what could have been done, really?
Hm. I liked it. Then again, I'm a horrible cliffhanger on stuff I write. One of the best parts about endings like this is the "Arrgh, I should have seen that" followed by the paging backwards to see what clues I missed.
I think it needed one more scene to transition into time passes, as it is it really felt rushed, I understand why, but it was still annoying. I think you could have done a non-full chapter with Them talking to Celestia and letting her know that they have a better understanding now and that would have worked as a bridge for them to the last chapter where time passes.
My problem with the ending was just that it seemed too obvious, the chapter leading up to it was one long goodbye, the only reason the ending was a surprise to me was because it seemed too obvious to happen.
From a structural point of view, I find myself agreeing about it being an ending that gave the plot a satisfactory resolution.
Edit: Also I personally liked it a lot. Sure, there was that sense of ending it due to author fatigue, but it isn't like you actually mishandled any of the writing you did do, and I'm willing to take that! What're you gonna do next?
I'm pretty sure the problem wasn't that you killed the reflection at the end of the story, but that the fact that the ending was so rushed guaranteed that it would seem unsatisfying and arbitrary. That and the fact that the last two chapters were so solely focused on the character that everyone already felt was getting too much attention, while the character the vast majority of readers (from what I could see) sympathized with more was being constantly neglected.
I don't think it was a question of having missed the foreshadowing. It may well have been the plan to kill her all along, and that's a perfectly valid plan, but the execution (pun not intended) was lacking
I thought it was a fine ending. I certainly didn't think it was shoehorned in -- there was plenty of foreshadowing, and if anything I'm amazed some of the more perceptive characters didn't pick up on what Twilight was doing that whole last chapter.
That said, yeah, it was pretty sad. I was feeling a little teary after reading the ending.
But then I was like, "Wait! There's a new chapter of Daring Do to read! That will cheer me up!"
But no, it did not. It was also pretty sad. Darn you, GaPJaxie.
Darn you.
2304944
Thank you! I am glad it helped give the story some closure.
2304970
Not sure if you're talking about IFIWT being written, or Twilight being created...
2304977
It is short! And sad. But good I hope.
2304995
2305025
I'm sorry that you two feel this way. I wish I could have come up with an ending that pleased more people. That said, thank you for how you chose to express it. Your comments felt really constructive. I shall be sure to do better with my next fic.
2305110
I didn't want to abandon the fic like so many others get abandoned. I know that wrapping it up that quickly cut off a lot of plot threads that really shouldn't have been cut, and that the suddenness of it all probably left a lot of unanswered questions. I'm really glad you enjoyed it though. The fun part about writing is knowing that other people take joy from your work.
2305154
Thank you for reading it. Really. Writing it turned into a fantastic experience because of how awesome you guys are.
2305274
Well, I don't know if I'm going to be writing another story soon (Siren Song). I'm in business school right now, and (Siren Song) my schedule is super packed (Siren Song). I struggle to find even one day a week to write, and it's really rough even when I can (Siren Song).
I am working on one fic called Siren Song though. Might be worth a read.
2305300
I look forward to reading it.
2305739
That chapter was in the original draft, so you're quite right. It just got cut due to length. A sadly significant sacrifice in the story's shortening. I tried to leave it implied in the BG, but with mixed results I'd say.
2305892
Probably write a bunch of short stories. My schedule is really busy lately. Though I am still working on my epic fic, Siren Song. Do recommend. I think it's my best work.
2306421
I think you're trying to hint at something.
Unfortunately, siren song doesn't appeal to me really, sorry! Maybe something else in the future?
2306380
Aww, thank you. I'm glad that you enjoyed-
This is a terrible plan.
It wasn't sad! Siren had a date with a cute colt and he was nice and also she spied on him with his therapist.
2306427
Hee. Well, there's also Arbitrage, which got featured in the Canterlot Royal Archives! I am planning to do some short stories as well.
It is a bitter pill to swallow that, after all the hostility and friction, there was finally a glimmer of reconciliation and acceptance, and then the whole thing takes a hard left into classical tragedy and ensures that every single character in the story is going to be miserable five minutes after the end.
2306430
The difference between tragedy and comedy is that one celebrates the joy of life and the other celebrates the inevitability of death.
2306428
It might've been before you started writing in this fandom, but there was another famous incident with a popular story with an incredibly jarring, sad, and unexpected ending: Of Mares and Magic, by GanonFLCL. I don't believe it's on FimFic, which didn't exist back then.
Long story short, Trixie comes back and challenges Twilight to a series of duels to prove who is the better mage. Rather predictably, Trixie and Twilight grow closer, and fonder, and by the end they are truly in love, and the outcome of the contest matters not a whit.
Then GanonFLCL writes the best chapter in the story, in which Trixie realizes that she and Twilight could never live together and still fulfill their respective dreams, and so she leaves, with the quote, "If you love something, let it go."
It caused a shit storm. I'm talking, like, a thousand comments on the EqD thread. People were furious with GanonFLCL, furious with the story, demanded he change it, demanded Twilight and Trixie get shipped as expected, etc, etc.
Then, a few days later, Ganon posts another epilogue, in which Trixie basically changes her mind and they live happily ever after. He claims he always meant for it to end that way, but, uh, reasonable people can disagree.
The moral is, this fandom is not one that easily accepts emotionally difficult endings. In fact, this fandom likes to punish authors for them.
Which is why I'm glad you ended IFIWT the way it deserved :) Please don't post another epilogue in a few days in which Twilight miraculously returns and falls in love with
TrixieSparkleFlash Sentry.Actually that'd be pretty cool. Maybe something to think about.
2306460
...am I the only one who sees that as a sweet ending? Mature? Sad, yeah, but really kind and loving?
img3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20130324025629/wordgirl/images/9/92/Liarjack.png
I don't have such a negative take on things. This may seem hypocritical, given the stories I write, but one of the things that drew me most to MLP is how it rejects the cynicism that's infused into everything else on TV. Happy ending and shallow ending are not the same thing. You can have a sweet, warm ending to a story that still has emotional depth and significance. (As Siren is still learning)
The fandom is a bit hard on sad endings—maybe too hard—but I think it comes from a good place.
Fic idea. The reason Flash Sentry seems so bland is that he's actually a robot Twilight made to avoid the social stresses of dating. But when Flash discovers his true identity, will he be able to cope, brah?
2306429
Looks interesting! I definitely will give it a read later!
2306460
Keep in mind though: That was years ago. A lot's changed since then, and I highly doubt people will do the same thing now.
While I felt that it could have used some sort of resolution (or at least a confrontation of some kind) with her friends and the princesses, I could easily see Twilight being the type to just bury the whole deal, chalk it up a to a learning experience, and try to move on. Still, it's a good story all in all, one I enjoyed thoroughly.
2305032
Sorry, but I have to.
i38.photobucket.com/albums/e132/whiterabbit75/df1a536c46e7aeccc536212426c90ae2a37_zps7e94b223.jpg
2306060
Indeed. I am perfectly happy with an unhappy (hah) ending - indeed, I had expected such to be likely from the start (or, well, 4 chapters in or so). I have nothing against Twilight "dying" and only causing further problems for Sparkle as result, with there being no good answers and with Sparkle's relationships ending up soured by the whole ordeal.
What miffed me, though, was that these issues weren't even addressed by the ending.
The whole conflict between Twilight and Sparkle peaked in chapter 11, and was pretty much concluded there - it was both the climax and the resolution of the conflict between the two and had reached a point where the story had, probably, said all it had to say about the two of them and their uneasy relationship - now uneasy acceptance and understanding where the other is coming from.
What was left to conclude were Sparkle's relationships with her old friends, her mentor, and her figuring out what she wants to do and where she goes from there - whether it be staying in Ponyville and trying to pick up the pieces or indeed taking an extended vacation like she had planned to sort things out in calmer waters, or whatever.
In essence, at this point the Twilight/Sparkle issue was resolved, there were no issues between Twilight/Friends, all that was left to be addressed was how things stand between Sparkle/Friends.
Which ... kinda never happened, and the last two chapters don't really even nod towards the issue, which is also one of the most drastic changes from the start - where Sparkle's friendships with her friends and teacher stand now, as opposed to where they were at the start. And it just ... never comes up.
It felt like misplaced focus, because with the whole Twilight ordeal already peaking and essentially concluding in chapter 11, there were a heap of other plot points of serious importance that demanded attention - and never got it. With time (or word count remaining) being limited, of all the remaining relationship issues the least one that needed more focus was Twilight/Friends ... and yet that's exactly what chapter 12 focused on, leaving the (as of this point) more important and as of yet unresolved issues lingering in the air.
That's my issue with the ending - I'm perfectly happy with it being a sad or a tragic one where Twilight Sparkle's relationships never recover, Twilight remains as dead as a stone and life is never the same again for those left behind ... but it's just left dangling in the air, inconclusive and unresolved.
It's like locking up your china shop and calling it a day after the last customer left, ignoring the bull that's still inside and about to do who knows what - possibilities ranging from nothing to everything - once the lights go out. Yes, the store is closed and the workday is technically over, but we are hardly done with the tale.
2306432
Hm. First time I've ever heard of tragedy referred to as a celebration of anything. They're written in recognition of the human condition, to analyze our faults and foibles, but in celebration? I'll have to disagree.
2306592
I didn't say it was tragedy that was about death.
2306425
Yeah, I think that chapter really needed to be included, the ending was just too sudden without it.
I did enjoy the closet thing between Rarity and AJ though, they are always fun together.
2306608 Something like that that would give Original Twilight a bit of closure would probably be enough to make me rescind my downvote. I don't like that downvote, and I wish I had an excuse to remove it.
2306422
Unfortunately, I've been unable to pin down all my dissenting opinions. The key point of it is that I'm not sure how much Sparkle's separation from her friends was shown to be her fault for pushing them away. (Friends help friends even when they're wearing meanie-pants, right?) Without re-reading the story, I have to go off my memory and gut, and they both tell me that no, I didn't see that. Then again, I might not be remembering right and I remember this thing but no that feels wrong and wait this other thing and that other thing but I think maybe instead and...
Yeah... I'm arguing with myself and I can't get out of that loop, and I don't want to re-read the story right now. Eh.
Anyways, regardless of that, 2306552 brings up some really good points. You can call them "side threads" but it's basically half the story. You resolved the central conflict, then failed to wrap up the other conflicts and delivered the conclusion. That conclusion being that Twilight immediately kills herself. I say immediately because the timeskip doesn't push readers out of the state of mind that they're going into the last chapter with. I really wish that the only thing everyone was complaining about was that Twilight died at the end, but that's not the real reason for all the frayed emotions. With writing, it's not always so important what you do as how you do it, and for the readers the transition between "We finally got over ourselves" to "This is the chapter where I die" is whiplash fast.
And all this is besides the fact that if you were tired of the way the story was going, then you should have tried to figure out a new direction that you would enjoy writing. Try to think of some new direction that you can take the characters in after they've resolved their conflict with each other. Basically, what I'm suggesting here is that you end it right after the events of chapter 11 and then make a sequel.
(This last paragraph was just a joke, please don't take it the wrong way. 
)
Thanks for clearing up the ending. Looking at it in the sense were you intend Sparkle to be in the shadow of herself to only understand that she could be Twilight, I'm fine with how you wrapped IFIWT.
I've enjoyed following this story since I first came across it way back before sirein song(next on my to read list). I'm sad that its over but I'm glad that got to read to it conclusion.
Well. That puts a bit of a different light on the end there.
Obviously this is your story not mine, making any complaints on my part more than a bit entitled. I do sympathize on the fact that this isn't a job, it's a hobby. Naturally if it stops being fun you'd want to move on, but leaving it unresolved would be bad too. A nasty catch-22.
It's still not my favorite conclusion to a story ever, and I do think it could have been foreshadowed better. Not to say that it wasn't, I've since had it pointed out that it was. On the other hand, the fact that it felt like something that was just made up on the spot, heartstring tugging for the sake of heartstring tugging, is a bit telling.
I don't think I'll be changing either my thumbs down of the story or its place in my annals of The Good Stuff. As a reader, I still feel jilted.
On the other hand, I do feel more okay with this as an author. So I wish you the best of luck with your other writing projects. May your blocks be short.
I'm in the vocal minority but I actually liked the ending of the fic. Ending was definitely foreshadowed, really a baseless claim there. We see some healing but such things don't automatically happen it takes time, clearly in this case more than a year. I hope someday you'll want to return to this universe and tell us what happens next and address some of those side threads. Thanks for the excellent story!
Sorry, but I'm not sure it comes through like this; maybe I'm a pessimist at heart, but Twilight (I keep calling her Twilight, but I don't think in universe she will ever be called that anymore: the reflection took this name to her metaphorical grave) looking at the window and crying made me think the letter was the last straw, that recovering in Ponyville would be impossible, and that she cound't muster the resolve to do something about it, even something traumatic as to leave like she wanted to. Which would have been a perfectly valid (I may not have liked it, but I'm a sucker for catharsis after tragedy) finale, don't get me wrong.
Still, with characters so profoundly defined by their friendships... it's a real pity that you came to resent your own work and had to cut it short.
Best of luck for the next stories!
2306460
I'd like to interject for a moment.The problem with GanonFLCL's original ending* isn't that it's sad. The problem is that it suddenly raises questions and plot twists out of nowhere (colloquially known as "asspulls" when placed after firmly establishing the setting and characters), and it states (by being an epilogue) that no answers will be given or hinted at. More importantly, it made us care about characters, and then explicitly told us that we'll never find out about important moments in their lives more devastating than anything we've seen so far.
* I haven't read any of it. I'm guessing based on what you said.
Try this. Imagine that one of your friends, Alice, starts relaying messages from another of her friends, Bob. You have no way to reach Bob except through Alice. After several months, you're really looking forward to hearing about Bob. One day, Alice tells you that Bob is depressed and desperately needs help. "And by the way, I'm done talking about Bob." Would you be mad at Alice?
I don't think I could be mad at her if I could understand her reasons for not wanting to talk about Bob, and I can definitely understand GapJaxie's reasons here for not wanting to talk about Bob.
Thank you for finishing the story, and thank you more for writing this blog post! I'm delighted I found it, because I feel like it brings some resolution to understand what your constraints were as an author. I can really relate to the feeling of wishing I weren't stuck trying to finish something I'm not engaged with anymore. (I'm such an incorrigible perfectionist sometimes.)
I'm delighted with you by how kind your critics have been. I myself was stunned by the strangeness of the ending. Throughout the birthday-chapter I was fully expecting to see Twilight leave her friends without telling anyone, but I thought it would simply be a journey far away from Ponyville. She didn't seem sad enough to be expecting oblivion, and I can't believe that Sparkle could really replace her and her short but independently-lived life.
But I stayed up late to finish the story for a reason, that the rest of the story was fabulous and fun and illustrated some great life-changing morals. First and most explicit was that our actions toward others may hurt them, despite our good intentions, if we don't consider things from their point of view. Second, I apply Twilight's/Sparkle's situation to my own relationships, and realize that we're all pretty much the same inside - we want to be friends, but we let our fears (and misunderstandings of differences) make us hate each other. Thirdly, the way they turned their outbursts of anger so quickly into laughter and closeness (a temporary truce that made Sparkle choose to stay after all) reminds me that when someone is willing to commit to reconciliation, it becomes much more realistically possible.
I still have a wish that it would be clearer in the story itself that the author had mixed feelings about the happiness of the ending - even just saying that she cried "bitterly" would be an acknowledgment that this was a tragic, lose-lose scenario. One life was lost, the other overshadowed (one might surmise) with unresolved feelings that she did not do enough for her twin. I find it fascinating that Twilight did not fully consider Sparkle's POV in her last interactions with her. It's quite the poetic statement: it reminds us that if we are not thoughtful, we could forget the morals of the story too!
Having just read this in its entirety, the exploration of dissatisfaction with yourself is pretty poignant. Not a single chapter went by without me mentally splitting myself into two and saying the same things to myself. I can also understand the need to finish it once you've moved past that point in your life where you've already made your checklist.
That being said, killing instead of merging felt like a defeat. I can look at myself in a mirror and say what I hate, but I won't change anything if that critical part dies, and that tone seems out of character for Twilight. The story felt like it grasped the ledge to climb out of despair and self-loathing only to plummet back in at the end. Twilight became ok with hating herself, and then the voice that tells her to change dies. Basically even though Twilight presumably learns enough to take control of the parts she hates, it doesn't convey that anything changes, and that's so unlike the traditional model of constant self-improvement she's cast as.
While that ending works for a metaphor or symbolic story, I felt this was too long and too characterized to end that unsatisfyingly. The cast's performance was too strong, and instead of teaching us about ourselves with an anecdote, you made those characters lose. Like if Aesop wrote the ant and the grasshopper into hilarious and lovable characters, with chapters of adventures to flesh them out into real characters, and then threw the development out the window and killed the grasshopper anyway.
That being said, some of the best comedic banter I've seen in awhile is here, as refreshing as the brevity in which you described character reactions it was paced much more like an entertainment piece then recitation of events. So often I found the dialog was cut off at just the right time to not make the obvious joke an obvious joke.
Tl;dr shoulda merged, story was written too well to have the philosophical, introspective ending
2306478
I think I actually want to have your babies. This is awkward.
I also followed Of Mares and Magic, though I'm part of the opposite camp that thought the original ending (if it was that) sucked. To me it smacked of "Life is tough and character growth is not a thing that happens, deal with it." That's the effect it had on me, which is not to say that's what it actually said, and of course romantic love becoming the catalyst of the betterment of a person, common in fiction, is problematic, too - what will be when the infatuation ends? - but it's still better than having a character end a story in the exact same place it started from. Sad endings are fine, pointlessly sad ones are not.
I'm actually a bit puzzled that everyone found that ending so depressing. Aside from seeing it coming from a mile away, and it being ever so slightly convenient; as far as deaths go, Twilight had a pretty damn decent one. Of course Sparkle is going to cry. I hope she does. She's got a lot of healing to do. But this might also be the "inkblot" kind of ending, where every person will see something different in it, and will imagine different outcomes. The bleaker futures painted by other comments on the story or this post didn't even occur to me. Sure, Twilight's friends aren't going to forget the less wholesome sides they saw of her, but true friendship endures, doesn't it?
Then again, I've always been naive.
2385891
I'm not sure. Are you cute?
It's definitely an inkblot ending. Origionally thought, it was supposed to be much more explicit that it ends well. In the first draft, the story closed on Twilight Sparkle (Sparkle) giving Twilight's eulogy at the funeral she insisted on having. It's basically the scene where she forgives herself.
2387602
I like to think I have a certain charm.
I can see that alternate ending working quite well in concept, and would be curious about the execution... But in the end, you have to go with your gut. Maybe months after the story is released, or years, you end up with the emotional distance you need to be able to say "Okay, THIS is the ending I should have written". At least that's how I've experienced it.
Either way, I don't think it would do too much harm to be proud of this story, all things considered. If so many people care that your ending sucked, you've done something right before that, after all.