Alright. Let's cut the bull. · 4:58pm May 24th, 2014
I'm sure that a lot of you know about a certain person called Mister Citadel. Ya know, the writer of "The Mare Who Wants A Human Child?" And the biggest douchebag I've ran across in a while. And yes, I was being nice but I'm done. Because...well, let's run down the list.
First off is the story. It was a HiE clopfic about...Lyra wanting a human child. Duh. And it got featured. Now I know what you're thinking. "How did it get featured if it sucked so bad?" Well when the people who didn't have a hand down their pants decided to take a closer look at the damn thing, we saw that it had a few GLARING issues.
The first one isn't one I can really touch on, but my friend supercomputer can. Because it has to do with the Myst series. But seeing as how it's done wrong anyway, I can kinda touch on it. The premise is that our hero "Jaxxon Markus Citadel" (the fuck) managed to write his own version of Equestria and enter it. After doing so, he met and married Lyra and had four foals with her.
Let that sink in.
1. How the fuck. Literally nothing was explained. At all. 2. He SOMEHOW managed to have four foals with Lyra but not one human child? The fuck? 3. He wrote homosexuality out of the world.
Let me repeat that.
HE WROTE HOMOSEXUALITY OUT OF THE WORLD.
One of the first things Jaxxon said was that he didn't fuck around too much with the world because he wanted the ponies to have "free will" But then he completely erases something that is human nature? Some humans. But still. Are you fucking joking? AND there's supposed to be a religion aspect too. Because he's doing such a great job already.
He eventually took the story down because some of my friends (and others) decided to call bullshit. I posted my first two chapters of the riff to help that along. After it was taken down, it was re uploaded under the title of Mystquestria
And it's not better. It might actually be worse. How, you ask?
The first chapter was literally just him landing in Equestria (with a really small reason as to why) meeting Lyra and Rarity. That was the first half of the chapter. The second half was (I am not shitting you) him getting a "Cluster Headache" and curing it. That's it. I'm not kidding.
And after learning that our good friend MC also has these headaches, it turns out that dear old Jaxxon is STILL a self-insert.
Goody.
And the second chapter...OH BOY. It's been removed, but I got it from some friends. Expect it in a riff very soon.
It...oh my god I can't believe this is real. It has a flashback from Lyra, and it turns out that when she was a filly she was almost raped into being gay.
Yes.
Lyra. The hero of this story. Was almost raped into being gay.
Ya know, it's good to see that the BLATANT HOMOPHOBIA IS STILL THERE.
Like....are you fucking KIDDING?! You've already been in enough shit and you're going to go ahead and post something that will undoubtedly piss people off? Why? What are you trying to accomplish? Yes, we know that you "had feelings" for your brother. Yes, we understand that you don't like gay people. WE GET IT STOP DIGGING A DEEPER HOLE FOR YOURSELF.
And don't' get me started on that shit with his "cousin" Dolphy. Like, I don't believe this for a damn second. Especially because dear old MC posted this twenty minutes after. Are you trying to just tell us, "Yep! Here's my alt! I'm having fun so I'm going to keep pretending that it isn't!"
I just...I'm just about fucking done with you, MC. If you're going to calling for shit, you're going to get covered in it. Just stop while you're behind.
twow443, Your Pissed-Off Riffer.
And if you want to see a much better way to discribe this story, just click here.
Er, he didn't write homosexuality out of the world, that was explained, and I believed the human child when rest are ponies thing was explained, and how he traveled between worlds was explained.
The explanations were poor, but they were there.
2141180
He originally wrote homosexuality to be gone for the most part, with support groups for any that were still aligned as such, so they could be "fixed". But in the currently-active rewrite, he made it so that homosexuals were "rare, but not unheard of". Obviously changed in an effort to appease the complaints, but it wasn't much when it still didn't address the entire root of the problem.
And there's no excuse for having poor explanations. Poor explanations break the willing suspension of disbelief, and the story's logic falls apart. If you can't explain your own logic and keep said logic consistent, then it's impossible to be invested in the story. So, that argument is invalid.
The second version of the story had "anti-water". Fucking anti-water. Try and offer ANY explanation for that. I could draw up a long list of reasons why that was, in itself, a complete storm of utterly contrived impossibilities, but I won't waste my breath on it. I've written enough rants today as it is.
~Blinkie
What. A. Dick.
2141311
But they weren't written out as the blog erroneously claimed.
the quality of the explanations isn't the subject here, it's their existence, and they were there.
the quality of the explanations isn't the subject here, it's their existence, and they were there.
2141471
Fair enough. But to some people's perspective (not my own, mind, but I'm just throwing out a hypothetical), a bad explanation is equal to no explanation at all. Either go the distance to justify it, or don't try at all. Personally, I already acknowledged there were explanations in my own blogs on the matter, but that they were of poor and contrived quality.
It really doesn't matter to me anyway, because at the end of the day, it's still just a bland and clichéd HiE fic with no redeeming or interesting factors whatsoever, save for all the controversy around it.
~Blinkie
This story is supposed to be religious, right? You'd at least expect the author to be familiar with the religion in question.
Well, he's not. He's just a blind homophobic idiot. The point in which I, someone who has been disassociated from Mormonism, know more about it than he does... it's just broken. Everything about this person is broken.
2141732
Surprised? I'm not. I used to spend a lot of time on a religious forum here, and had to educate a lot of people on their own particular denominations. Also the actual contents of their own holy book.
2141918 I can understand people not knowing everything about their religion and what have you. I'd at least expect him to know something about Mormonism... heck, his character apparently hasn't even taken out his endowments, and he's clearly older than eighteen in the story.
This is the kind of stuff you learn when you're twelve years old. If he's been a Mormon for any stretch of time, he would at least know what covenants he would be a part of. It's because of uninformed bigots like him that religion is vilified to the extent that it is. He is rendering a disservice to not only the people he is prejudiced against, but the people he ostensibly stands alongside.
2142155
Well, that and the obnoxious little fuckers knocking on your front door at any given time and trying to sell you their religion like it was an amazing new carpet cleaner.