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RazgrizS57


With enough momentum, pigs fly just fine.

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May
19th
2014

Read It Later 2: Read It Later-er · 9:31pm May 19th, 2014

So this thing’s still going on. How about that? For those unaware just walking in, don’t leave yet! This is a thing where I attack my ever-expanding Read It Later list and because I hate myself, provide reviews for them and the plan is to do this every Monday. So if you’re looking for a good story, keep reading because you just might find one. I hope. As always, feedback is greatly appreciated.

I get the feeling I’ll need to come up with a better way to start these things.

Silly image inbound.


A battle for the ages.


I feel like sharing the news that [url=writeoff.me]there’s another write-off underway already, but centering around regular stories this time instead of minifics. The more the merrier, I say, so if you’re interested in joining this time around, check out that link.

Now, onto the reviews! I've got six this time around, just like last time! And obligatory disclaimer thing: These reviews are independent of and therefore unaffiliated with Seattle’s Angels. I’ll try not to put spoilers in here, but I offer no guarantee. For all I know, the comments may have those however.


Equestria’s First Prank Call
by JapaneseTeeth

How this ended up on my RIL list: This story popped up in the Featured Box back in Feburary, and I distinctly remember it being the only one that wasn’t clop, so it was already grabbing my attention. The description is short and to the point, something I particularly like, and I chuckled at its implication that Twilight built the first known telephone, and then immediately received a call from Pinkie Pie. I figured Pinkie Pie would be zany here, which is never a bad thing, but I didn’t have any real sort of expectations.

What I walked away with: Befuddlement more than anything else. This was supposed to be a comedy, and while it might just be me, I didn’t find anything that happened here to be funny, only strange.

The story had an interesting idea: Twilight invents the telephone, and almost immediately gets a call from Pinkie Pie. I didn’t have any clue whatsoever about where this could’ve gone, and the wordcount made me think those two ponies would be playing a game of hot and cold, with Twilight trying to track Pinkie Pie down and she keeps receiving hints and prank calls in the process.

Weirdly enough, the actual phone hardly plays a role. It’s not even close to being the focus of the story. Pinkie Pie calls in at the beginning and pranks Twilight with a classic “Is your refrigerator running?” line. But instead of Twilight trying to find Pinkie Pie (which she does briefly consider doing), she runs off to catch her refrigerator which has, indeed, sprouted legs, and the rest of the story revolves around this development. For the most part, Twilight runs around town and into her friends, stirring everyone into a kerfuffle that’s resolved without any of their actual help, making everything that’s happened involving this refrigerator pointless.

It’s nonsensical, especially considering how the story is written. Twilight is ridiculously out of character. Her friends all seem to acknowledge this, but the justification that she’s high on caffeine simply isn’t enough. Not to mention the story is all tell without a single moment of show, which is worsened by how we’re told the same things again and again, even if said things literally happened a few paragraphs prior. And to top it all off, the pacing is erratic.

Afterthoughts: I thought I didn’t have any expectations coming into this story, but it still managed to surprise me by taking itself away from what little I apparently had. It should have at the very least centered on Pinkie Pie, if not the telephone, but it does neither and becomes something else entirely. This makes the story slightly disappointing and pretty meh overall, and that’s why I wouldn’t recommend reading it.





Saturday
by Bulletproof

How this ended up on my RIL list: This story was featured in a Seattle’s Angels review round a while ago. The incredibly vague description was enough to captivate me and make me wonder, and those reviews it had certainly helped convince me to give this a shot. And now that I’m forcing myself to read, I’m finally getting around to it over a year later.

What I walked away with: Chills. This story doesn’t exactly pull on the heart so much as it stabs at it, and the ending is open more than enough for a reader to decide on their own what’s that done with that knife. Does it stay, does it twist, or does it get yanked out and thrust into it again and again? For me, at least, I ended up driving it even further and used the handle like a joystick.

I can’t pretend to understand how mental hospitals work, but they I’ve always seem to revolve around a mix of prison and daycare. This story takes that approach and thrusts Lyra into it, the reasoning being that she suffers from hallucinations, specifically some made-up fantasy creatures called humans. The story hardly pays attention to this, however, and instead follows Lyra having a typical Saturday at this hospital. Over a single day, we’re given hints towards why Lyra is actually there, as opposed to the given reasons behind her stay. Her state of mind and thought process evolves over the course, making one really have to ask themselves what they’re seeing and pay attention to seemingly minor repeating elements. Lyra is difficult to understand, but it’s not so much a question about what so much as it’s about why.

All this comes together as a big kick in the teeth with the ending scene that just gets under the skin, and it really made me want to punch a pony. There’s hints to Lyra being just a victim with no control herself, and there’s also ones that gravitate towards her stay here being her own fault.

Afterthoughts: This is an amazing story that requires some analysis to be comfortable with one’s own conclusion. It has the sort of open-ended goodness that I adore and to do what it does under 3000 words is admirable. This story is definitely worthy of attention.





Opposable Superiority
by RainbowBob

How this ended up on my RIL list: I found this story in the Popular Stories sidebox a while back, and the description caught me with its absurd premise. I’m a stickler for short, silly stories, and this caught my attention well enough. I also like to be reminded that Equestria Girls does in fact exist, because, you know, masochism. This story stuck the two together, so I figured, why not?

What I walked away with: An unsatisfied stomach.

This is a thing, that much is certain. Like a lot of stories that happen to be this short, the “story” itself is lacking if not absent entirely and can best be described as an isolated scene.

Twilight comes back to Equestria after walking through the portal mirror doohickey, and immediately turns dramatically forlorn at the loss of her hands, two appendages she didn’t know she so desperately needed. Or so she tells herself. After freaking out in front of everyone and extending the gag as far as it will reach, she tries to run back to the human world and fails.

The gag is Twilight’s freak out, which is stupid and silly, in addition to the unceremonious end. She’s made out of character, and while that’s kind of the point, it makes me wonder why Twilight had to be the one. I can imagine this story working just as well if not better if instead some random, nameless human ended up following Twilight through the mirror and turned into some random, nameless pony, and have the freak out revolve around him.

Afterthoughts: There’s a base here for something developed and involving, but this story takes the quick and silly approach. With that in mind, this story can definitely best be described as a thing. It won’t kill you if you decide to waste a few minutes reading it, but those few minutes could also be put to good use elsewhere.





Rainbow Typhoon
by Nonsanity

How this ended up on my RIL list: I remember reading Nonsanity’s Words Failed Her some time ago, and despite some minor complaints with it, I loved it. Reactively, I went to check out Nonsanity’s other work and at the time, Rainbow Typhoon was the only other. The cover art grabbed me, but I had a sense it was by the collar instead of the eye. That there would be action was obvious, but I was worried by how forced it would be. But that didn’t stop me. The description helped by hinting towards some serious character development for Rainbow Dash, which I’m all for. Conflicts with the self and the world at large are too much of a tease to not want to take a look at.

What I walked away with: That feeling you get when you go to a 3D-movie that would have been better off without the 3D effects, particularly because they were overemphasized and the glasses they make you wear were uncomfortable throughout. Still a good movie, but your experience wasn’t what it could’ve been.

Before I get into all my complaints (I’m surprised I found so many), let’s start with what this story was good with: exactly what I thought I’d be getting into. The action, the atmosphere, the Rainbow Dash; everything was great. Setting aside the more or less unfinished ending, the actual story at hand is superb. Rainbow Dash gets the chance to fly with the Wonderbolts—if only for a day—but things quickly go south as the planned event is ruined by a sudden storm. The Wonderbolts stop and get out to help with the relief effort. Rainbow Dash wears her newly bestowed title and goes off on her own accord, doing what she can to be a hero and do her best, but this newfound title gets in the way of her efforts. Not on her part, but on those ponies she encounters.

Rainbow Dash herself is characterized expertly. The attention to detail that went into all her actions was obvious enough, and I really enjoyed seeing her internal conflict. There’s some pretty neat metaphors sprinkled throughout (I loved the one with the muddy unicorn in Ch.4) that help show what Rainbow Dash is thinking. In total, I think her character is one of the best I’ve seen in recent memory.

But her character is hindered by these bland, out-of-the blue thoughts of her that are way too to the point. I felt like they were always trying to grab my hand and tell me things instead of letting the story tell itself. This breaks fluidity, as do the isolated sentences meant to translate emphasis. They work, and they aren’t bad in their own rights, but they’re all too often and makes the emotion the story is trying to convey come off as forced. The narrative itself is also a little confusing, because, for instance, we’ll be in the middle of some great conversation and then suddenly we’re given a bit of telling summary that just takes away from the experience. The amount of tellingness isn’t too bad, but it’s often used in areas where it’s uncalled for, or it’s missing in others where we needed that extra bit of information.

The focus especially like to meander. Details are left out when they should’ve been there, and sometimes there’s an overabundance of them. One moment we’re thinking about the Wonderbolts, and for a brief moment we’re thinking about a party before returning, and that small thought serves no use to the current situation. These thoughts like to be brought up, perhaps to show Rainbow Dash’s character, and they do do that, but they tend to be tangential and go forgotten very quickly. For example, the opening scene: Rainbow Dash pulls off an incredible stunt, and later we see her being offered a spot in the Wonderbolts. It’s given that her recruiters were watching her fly, but there’s no notion of this scene being brought up again. It’s just for flare, and while pretty, it could also be cut like a lot of others and the story wouldn’t suffer much if at all.

The story is wonderful and it’s written well, but the focus wanders away from the situations and this effectively ruined my overall involvement.

Afterthoughts: Again, this is a good story, and it’s clear to me Nonsanity greatly improved with Words Failed Her. It’s kind of like a Mercedes commercial, where everything about it is stunning, but you aren’t actual given any information about the car that’s being advertised, so you go to the dealership to find out more. There you confirm the car is very pretty, but it comes with all these add-ons you didn’t want or would ever care to use (or even find unappealing), because in the end you just wanted a car. But you stomach all those “features” anyway and take out a loan that’s bigger than you thought it would be because in the end, it’s still a pretty darn good car.






The Bubble Bursts
by Obselescence

How this ended up on my RIL list: I remember Obselescene asking for a story idea in a blog of his awhile ago, and this ended up being the chosen one. The cover art pretty much gives away the entire story, but coupled with that description, it shows this story should be silly. A short, fun little thing where Derpy goes off and gets revenge on all the ponies who’ve made fun of her, presumably in ways that are amusing and not actually harsh.

What I walked away with: The sort of bliss that comes with eating a meal that looked better than it tasted, but that doesn’t really matter because I was going to take a nap afterwards anyways. The story didn’t pass itself off as a comedy, but I could tell it tried to at least be amusing, in which case it straight into a wall.

We start off with a sad, lonely Derpy, who’s sad because all the cool weather ponies (see: bullies) made fun of her again, and who’s lonely because she doesn’t really have any friends. Rainbow Dash tries to rectify this, but awkwardly dances around the topic and doesn’t really help at all. So Derpy does the logical thing and decides to confront her bullies, but only after being possessed by Nightmare Spirit or whatever it was that took over Princess Luna because obviously it’s a separate entity and there’s no way Princess Luna could just transform on her own accord, which opens a very interesting door about ponies who could apparently just go full “Nightmare” at any time. But I digress.

The first half of this story is great. Derpy, while in her not-too-smart and cliché depressed self, she fills the character greatly. Rainbow Dash is also characterized pretty darn well, and I enjoyed their interactions together, both in the beginning and in the ending scene. However, the rest of the story, “the climax” as it were—pretty much the only thing the description even alluded to—is almost nonexistent. While Nightmare Derpy does scare some ponies and causes a big panic, the advertized conflict took too long to show up and it’s over way too quickly. Instead, the big conflict that ends up arising is Derpy feeling sad, which isn’t much of a conflict and it hardly gets resolved.

I really wanted to see Derpy hunt down her bullies and get revenge while avoiding being stopped, but instead of her going out of her way, everyone pretty much comes up to her in a big surrender. And she proceeds to make them pay anyways, dragging in the rest of the town in the process. But this irrational behavior isn’t given a proper justification, and like I said, this all happens way too fast. Rainbow Dash then takes too long to show up so she can fix everything (a heartwarming scene I did like), and that time hurts her character. The story would have greatly benefitted from spending more time with Nightmare Derpy chasing down her bullies, and trying to chase her down would have given Rainbow Dash the perfect excuse.

Afterthoughts: This story has a great idea but it felt rushed as we got near the end. Too much time was focused on Derpy being sad instead of what the description told, which is a bit disappointing. Regardless, this is still a good story. I’d recommend it, but you won’t miss anything spectacular if you decide to pass it up.





A Sun Without A Moon
by Mourning Zephyr

How this ended up on my RIL list: A curiosity, mostly. I haven’t read too many stories discussing Celestia in the immediate months (rather than, say, the first few days) after Nightmare Moon’s banishment, and I really do love the diary format. And actually, I found this story some time ago while searching for stories to feature in a Seattle’s Angels round, but for better or for worse, an Equestria Daily feature caused the view count to quickly surpass the maximum allowed limit and the story became unqualified. That said, I still hadn’t read it, until now.

What I walked away with: A warm smile. This story isn’t exactly breathtaking and the Celestia it tells acting after Nightmare Moon’s banishment isn’t that original, and the whole this is a bit predictable, but it was a pleasant read nonetheless.

Celestia and Luna are at a dinner party when the former quips and embrasses the latter, so Luna runs off to her bedroom to go cry into her pillows or something. Instead, in her emotional confusion, she ends up appearing in her sister’s room, and quickly finds an old diary Celestia had kept following Nightmare Moon’s banishment. Naturally, she snoops inside, and doesn’t really like what she finds. Or, rather, what she doesn’t find.

This story is definitely sweet, insofar as the actual diary itself. Luna herself, however, is a bit annoying and threatens to get in the way of the story being told. The diary entries are too scrunched together to be read easily, and there’s an overabundance of interruptions between them (Luna’s reactions, the narrative) that it breaks the overall story’s fluidity. Another gripe is that Luna is portrayed as a little sister, which I’m not saying she isn’t, but she’s not some little kid, which this story (and several others) paint her as.

On the other hand, this story wouldn’t have worked so well if Luna was just as mature as her sister. In that regard, Celestia’s character is top notch in every aspect. Their interactions together are very warmhearted and what really make the story shine. Unfortunately, we don’t get any of that until the end, but whatever. The diary itself is superb, but was still weakened by Luna constantly reminding the reader what she’s thinking and feeling.

Afterthoughts: This story has the sort of character bonding goodness I love, but it takes some buildup to get there, and that buildup is a bit wonky. Still, I did enjoy this, as would anyone else who really likes to see the relationship between worst and best princess.


And so concludes this week’s thing. Have a silly picture to close things off.


Horses gonna horse.

Comments ( 2 )

Too bad that last one got on EqD, woulda been a pretty sweet fic to review. I'm just waiting for the day you find a Trixie fic I haven't seen or read. That or the day you inexplicably have one of my fics in your RIL, and you realize what a fraud I am.

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

I really liked Saturday, and I think I had a similar reaction to Rainbow Typhoon. I liked the prank call one, though. :B

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