• Member Since 16th Nov, 2011
  • offline last seen Wednesday

JohnBiles


I wrote my first fanfic in 1993 and have been writing every since.

More Blog Posts8

  • 221 weeks
    Against the Morons

    After 3 years of being focused elsewhere, I have done another chapter of this story, which will go up soon, titled 'Against the Morons', starring Luna, Ivan, and Cunning Thought.
    It should be up by New Years. I hope you enjoy it.

    Here's a snippet:

    Cunning Thought’s Entirely Honest Journal:

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    6 comments · 272 views
  • 382 weeks
    Short Story 5: Shadows of the Past is up

    Shadows of the Past is up now!
    It's a Pinkie Pie/Luna teamup!

    0 comments · 338 views
  • 387 weeks
    Upcoming Story: Shadows of the Past

    Finally got another story in this series done; once it undergoes commentary, I'll post it here. It's called 'Shadows of the Past' and is a Pinkie Pie and Luna teamup.

    Here's the opening:

    Pinkie’s Pie-Tastic Viewpoint:

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    6 comments · 379 views
  • 514 weeks
    A Proper Lady is Up

    The next of the short stories, A Proper Lady, starring Rarity, is up.

    2 comments · 467 views
  • 515 weeks
    Upcoming Story: A Proper Lady

    The next short story, A Proper Lady, starring Rarity, will be up within a week or two. Here's a teaser:

    Read More

    5 comments · 464 views
May
14th
2014

Upcoming Story: A Proper Lady · 11:10pm May 14th, 2014

The next short story, A Proper Lady, starring Rarity, will be up within a week or two. Here's a teaser:

“Fluvia Grace must have the *finest* dress in all the lands of human, pony, or elf,” the strange pony in my shop said to me; she was overdressed for the season with a black furry rounded hat on her head, trimmed in white fur, a huge black shawl around her neck, and a long black dress trimmed with white fur which was elegant but baggy, not well fitted to her body. “Fluvia has heard that Rarity is the finest of all seamstresses, who can make a dress for *anyone*.”

Fluvia Grace was an Earth Pony, her coat pale yellow with a long blue mane that flowed in long locks around her neck and shoulders. She constantly shivered as if eager to spring into action but holding herself back.

“You have come to the right place,” I told her. “Black is really not your color, but let’s see…”

“Fluvia always wears black, it is her signature!” she said proudly. “Like a magnificent Orca!”

I have never had a customer who wanted to appear like a whale. Well, I can suggest alternatives at least, though I now feared this would end badly.

“Also, it must handle water well,” Fluvia continued. “And match my hat.”

Hmm, I am loaded with felt, but the hat has a fur outer layer, and I am short on black and white fur. The hat actually is nice, so perhaps I don’t have to replace it.

“What sort of fur is this?” I asked curiously, touching the white fur trim of her current dress.

“Polar Bear, of course!” she said proudly.

Of course.

Polar bears and whales.

Where am I going to get polar bear fur in Equestria? Unless… Idea!

If you shave a shapeshifted druid, they’ll grow back, right?

I wouldn’t want to leave Fluttershy naked, but surely a druid can trivially repair such a thing.

In fact, so many kinds of fur…

It was hard to wipe the bits from my eyes. I couldn’t let Fluttershy shave me for something like this, so I can’t ask her, but now the idea won’t leave my head.

I’ll figure out something.

“Where did you buy this?” I asked her curiously. “I don’t recognize the style.”

“Kaarjala! It’s a long trip, but the cool waters of the north are very relaxing in the summer,” she said. “And my beloved loves to go there to train!”

I’ve never even heard of it. “I will do my best, but I must regretfully inform you that I am not used to Kaarjalan fashions,” I told her. It galled me to admit it, but there is normally little call for such styles here. But I will learn! I must be ready for the next time.

There *will* be a next time if I do a good job here.

“Stargazer assured Fluvia you are a great fashionista, so Fluvia has confidence in you! Stargazer is always well-dressed,” Fluvia said firmly.

And it all gets destroyed by the end, then she has to buy more clothing from me. That’s Stargazer. She’s a Unicorn adventuress who summons constellation spirits. And gets into dangerous adventures which leave her clothing in tatters on a regular basis but give her the money to buy more. “Oh, you’re a friend of Stargazer,” I said warmly. Stargazer’s purchases paid for my new bed, the last repairs on my roof, and a new oven, among other things.

Oh, I should get Marcus to study those gems she paid me with last time and determine if they’re safe to use! Wherever I put them.

“She is my wicked rival in love,” Fluvia wailed. “She is a terrible person.” She dramatically fainted, crashing into my model-horses, which fell on her.

Best not to stick my head into this. I began magically lifting my modelhorses back into place as she got up. “I will create some mockups today but I have to see about getting the right kind of fur for you, and that may take a while.”

“Fluvia has to go visit the local druid, so she can stick around town a few days,” she told me.

“Oh, you know Fluttershy?” I asked; she’d never mentioned Fluvia.

“That’s her name, yes! Her… Fluvia doesn’t know the right word… Fluvia has been sent to help her practice elemental forms,” Fluvia said. “And seeing your shop, I thought I would try it out, since Stargazer is always so well dressed.”

Ahh, she seeks to outdo her rival. I will have to put some extra effort into this. I understand how she must feel. Not that I have a romantic rival at present, but I have been there.

I gave her the directions and was busy with a tentative design when there was a loud crashing noise, followed by a scream and the sound of my mailbox dying again.

Fluvia was outside before I could go check, and as I came out, I heard her yelling about mimics. Everything was now wet, my mailbox was smashed into tiny bits and Ditzy, Sweetie, and her friends were all tangled into a knot on the ground as Fluvia jumped up and down on the remains of my mailbox. “It will never menace the innocent again!” she said, then struck a heroic pose.

My mail was now sopping wet, though one of the items was a scrollcase sealed with both the Aendyr seal and Lady Aendyr’s personal seal! I secured that, then helped everyone up. “Should I even ask?”

“No, never ever ask,” Scootaloo said bitterly.

“I’m sorry,” Ditzy said. “Dinky dear, no fogbanks at ground level!”

“Sorry, Mom,” Dinky said, hanging her head.

I could tell this would be a long day; I would save the letter to be dessert to wash the aggravation out of my mouth.

Comments ( 5 )

I am looking forward to reading this.:twilightsheepish:

Nice! Glad to see that this series continues ever on. :)

Author tells me that he's updating one of my favorite series and posts a funny excerpt. My day is brightened.

Oh Rarity, Orcas are the most dignified whales. Well, when they aren't playing seal soccer.

Oh ho hoo! I can see this will be an interesting customer for Rares. :duck:

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