"Ticks" Me Off · 7:49am May 10th, 2014
Dear Loyal Watchers, Interested Visitors, and Confused Passersby:
It's not quite four in the morning here on the U.S. Eastern Seaboard, but I've been up for about three hours and don't see myself getting back to sleep any time soon. The reason for that is because of a series of night terrors that forced me screaming from my bed as I kept dreaming about tiny, horrific creatures crawling the length of my body–making their way across, and under, my skin. This undoubtedly stems from some childhood trauma.
That, undoubtedly, requires some explanation. Whereas you are much cheaper than a professional psychologist, you have all been designated to hear me out. Sorry about that (but not really).
I usually check-in with my fan sites once a day, but I was absent over the last two because I spent the first night flailing like a ninny and screaming as I ran around in tight circles in my bathroom. The reason for that was because I had begun to mow my lawn for the first time this year on Thursday night. The first mowing is always a laborious process because it involves me stopping every five feet to pick up sticks, garbage, rocks, and wayward Christmas decorations that have spread themselves across my yard during the winter months.
My house is too big for my needs. I have an acre of land, and between work and my social responsibilities I don't take care of it nearly as well as I should. It's too much for one single guy to take care of. My fence is collapsing and if I was my neighbor I would have sued me long ago. It's not getting any easier as what was once a country road gentrifies and huge houses spring up around me, leaving me feeling as inadequate as a homeowner as my last girlfriend made me feel as a lover.
Wow, this blog is going all over the place. Did I mention it is four in the morning?
Anywho, the reason I mention my yard is because during this first mowing —which I accomplish with a push mower because I can't afford a riding one—I somehow managed to get a passenger. Yes, at some point I must have brushed up against long grasses, the ample leaf litter in my yard, or a tree branch. At that moment an arachnid decided that I was "dinner."
I got a deer tick.
Cue me getting ready for bed only to go running around my bathroom screaming like a ninny upon the discovery of said tick. It had burrowed its way into my leg, and I wasn't exactly thrilled to say the least. Now, what I was supposed to do was take a breath, get out the tweezers that were less than a foot away in the medicine cabinet, and carefully remove him from my body by grasping him at his head.
What I did was scream like a ninny (as previously reported) and scrape the tick out with my fingers while cursing him in all of the languages of man, God, and science fiction.
I've never been good with ticks. In fact, I'm horrified of them. This stems from having a good friend of mine get bitten by one when I was in the Boy Scouts. This was back when Lyme Disease wasn't well-known yet and was just starting to become a media sensation. He developed the "bullseye rash," and within three months had developed a facial palsy. His family actually moved away to be near a hospital in Boston that specialized in such things. Sad to say, I never saw him again. That was pretty traumatizing.
My fear of ticks has been pretty much a part of my life ever since. The first time I ever got bit by one was when I was in Gettysburg. It was during one of my vacation weeks where I spent the week in the village between two living history demonstrations for the park service. The discovery of a wood tick (a massive bastard compared to deer ticks) sent me running from my hotel clear across the village to the hospital. There I was prescribed antibiotics. Being as I am an idiot I didn't read the directions. I drove down to Manassas, Virginia the next day to visit Bull Run Battlefield. I spent the day walking in the sun... which was exactly what I was'nt supposed to do.
On my way back to Gettysburg I found giant red welts starting to appear on my body, each of which felt as hot and broiling as Satan's spit. I nearly set a land-speed record in my Subaru as I raced through Gettysburg Battlefield. Unfortunately, a park policeman took exception, leading to what must be the greatest excuse ever given to a officer who had pulled someone over for speeding: "I'm sorry officer, but I'm on drugs and I think I'm on fire."
All of this could have been avoided, as in my research afterwards I discovered that most doctors consider the antibiotics given after a tick bite to be "essentially useless."
Wonderful.
So, here I am, three years later, and my fear of ticks still plays a part in my life. Last summer I was in Gettysburg again for the 150th anniversary of the battle when I stupidly decided to walk across the fields near the Bushman Farm where the I represent unit fought in an effort to get down there to speak to the people who had gathered. The end result was getting covered with a dozen of the tiny bastards and my speech to the crowd going something like "AAAgggHHHhhhHHH! Get them off me! Get them off me! Aggaaahhh! God, please! Agggahh!"
Noted fandom author and my personal friend Zaptiftun can verify that it plays a pertinent, and annoying, part of my outdoor life. The personalized tour of Gettysburg that I gave him pretty much went along these lines: "This is where General Reynolds was shot at about 10:15a.m. Check yourself for ticks. This is The Railway Cut where Confederates were caught in a horrible crossfire. Check yourself for ticks. This is Little Round Top where the 20th Maine fought. Check yourself for ticks. This is The Avenue Restaurant with good, cheap food. Check yourself for ticks."
So far in my life, ticks had been something foreign, encountered only when I was out Civil War Re-enacting, hiking in the mountains, or exploring historic sites. Thursday, that changed. Now my own oversized yard has been invaded. My fence line harbors horrors. My maple trees are hiding assassins. I think that this, more than anything, is what lead to the nightmares that woke me this morning. I went to my local clinic Friday when I got out of work, and they essentially repeated that I could get $300 worth of drugs, but it would largely be useless. All I can really do is wait and see if I get sick and go from there.
That's where the nightmares came from, the feeling of helpless waiting. The arachnids that crawled across, and under, my skin in my nightmare are a response to my own sense of unease and unknowing. Like the dream I had earlier this year after I put my cat down... the one where giant purple berries were erupting from my skin, body-horror imagery tells me that my mind is working through things over which I have no control.
And, more frequently, I feel like I have less and less control. Especially over ticks.
So, it's nearly four in the morning now. I'm sure that this blog is full of horrific grammar, but I hope you'll excuse that. All I have left to do now is wait and see if I get sick, if I get the "bullseye rash", or if I have pain in my joints, especially the neck. The waiting is the hardest part. I hate it.
Anywho, it is Saturday, my volunteering day. I have to be awake again in four hours so I can get to my volunteer position. As you are all watching the season finale I'll be leading my church kids in cleaning the yards of shut-ins. Yup, going back out into the tall grasses and weeds...
... I bet you can imagine how much I'm looking forward to that.
Stay Awesome,
-T.D.
SPOOOOOOOOOOOON!!!
I honestly wish I had an idea of what to say...
Oh, uh... I hate moths.
Ever since I saw that movie poster for Silence of the Lambs, I'm terrified of the bastards.
I really wish I had something more to say...
~Skeeter The Lurker
2095049
I actually like that tick.
2095050
Heh, that's fine, Skeet. Thanks for listening.
You know what you must do.
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Well, TD, I have to sympathize with your fear. Personally, I am afraid of spiders. In fact, I might as well have this be a diagnosed phobia, as I have been seen screaming, scared, heart beating like battle drums; the whole nine yards. I have had terrible, heart wrenching, and horrifying dreams of spiders throughout my childhood and even partially today. It isn't something easy to overcome, and I doubt that anyone can truly overcome massive phobias such as the ones we share.
But know this: worrying is the first part to the downfall. Your mind is meant to bend to your will, so the more you think about it, the more the paranoia will set in. You will start sweating, swiping at yourself, and most likely come across as high on acid or something. Let's not act like your high on acid, yeah? We need our Raven to be in tip top shape.
So, I doubt that I can truly sway your mind in any way because words are generally useless when I can't see you face to face, but you have to stay positive. Positivity is the only way you can fight yourself. As I said, the more you psych yourself out about this, the worse it will get. You can't think negatively because you are going to pay dearly for it. Stay strong, head held up high, and never look back.
And remember: "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself."
---By the one guy that is a far cry from Abraham Lincoln and any Union or Confederate general
2095052
"We're gonna need a bigger gun."
Damn dude, that's pretty dang rough.
On a side note, it is four in the morning... sleep would be a good idea, for anybody up at four AM.
2095050
Moths are bastards, that's for sure. I can't say that watching Ben 10 as a kid helped me with even partially liking them.
2095061
2095050
Allow me to introduce you two to mothponies.
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2095051
spiders...deathly afraid of spiders,had a wolf spider pop up at me on the way to the shower.literally caught me with my pants down. thing was as big as my palm. luckily i keep a beautiful sprayer of poision in my room.
also hate going outside..im fine until im swarmed with every little thing wanting a piece of ME. odd that mosquitoes leave me alone forever. think i got natural mosquito repellent in trade for repellent of everything else.
2095062
They seem cute now, but wait until they consume all your clothing and constantly fly around lights like a bunch of dumbasses and then get all up in your face, making you instinctively reach for the closest hand gun so you can somehow hit it in mid air.
And little did you know that you were actually releasing the swarm . . .
Welp. I'm never going outside without long pants ever again. Thank goodness I live in a cold climate.
Hope you don't get sick, TD.
I can relate so much to you right now. Sure, I'm put off by... too many invertebrates to list, really, but parasites have got to be the worst. The bloated little bastards that latch onto you like alien hellspawn from Lovecraft's nightmares.
I really wish I knew of some perfect piece of advice to help you deal with this. Fact of the matter is, short of the extreme solutions (hint: it involves gasoline), I got nothing.
I don't think I've ever encountered a tick before so I can't really identify with your problem as well but I do sympathize with phobias like this since I'm a tad wary of bees or any insects of the stinging variety, due to childhood experiences.
I could suggest that you exterminate the buggers from your home but it's only a temporary solution which is limited to your home only.
Another is for you to learn about them, as repulsive as it may sound to you, I find that by learning about something you're afraid of, it would lessen the fear, it won't completely eradicate the fear since as you've stated, is a childhood trauma, but it might give you ideas on how not to be so...er appetizing to ticks at the very least.
I hope that I've at least been of some help, though the biggest help I can offer right now is this: Go to bed!
Next time, take a scythe with you. No more tall grass!
I had ticks in my childhood pretty often, but my grandmother always helped me to get them out. She kept the ring around the place tick got in and filled it with oil. Tick got out short afterwards.
We could have different kinds of tick though.
Anyway, I freak out from any small or thin insects (Phasmatodea), except (haha) spiders and ants.
Hey TD, hope you get the 'all clear' soon and some more sleep sooner.
If I found a tick on me I'd probably do two things. Firstly, I'd be very confused how it got there since I avoid going for walks in the park whenever possible. Secondly, I would scream in a very feminine fashion before panicking...which I suppose is three things.
You're handling this way better than I ever could man! Stay strong and positive!
Well here in Minnesota, we get ticks during the spring and in summer, especially in the more rural areas with forests and long grass. Honestly, they are annoying, but you never really hear about many people getting lyme disease. Although, I can sympathize with your situation.
I don't really get any ticks around my house anymore. It might be because my mom went on a mowing spree the last year or two and pretty much shredded all the foliage in the forest on both ends of our property. The amount of bugs we had also dropped significantly.
So, I guess this is all the advice I can give you; Wear pants that cover your legs entirely, Get some insect and/or tick repellant, preferably stuff you can apply onto yourself, Keep your yard and other grassy areas trimmed short, and finally, relax.
Getting bit isn't the end of the world or your life. Just don't think about it. Wait a few days and check the bite a couple times a day, to make sure nothing is developing. Usually, nothing will come of it. Trust me, I've been bitten by mosquitos and ticks so many times throughout my life I'm surprised I haven't caught anything.
If you do get the rash though, just check in with a doctor or hospital. Lyme disease is easily treated and cured in the early stages. Don't worry about what could happen, just take it as it comes and be positive.
You'll be fine, don't let your fear control you. You have us here to help you through this, if you need us to. Also, sorry for the huge wall of text.
Take care,
-NocturnalLoner
Ticks suck.
2095065
I find moths cute, even when they're being dorks.
Also, hand guns are never an appropriate answer to any animal smaller than a dog. And especially not any insect.
Yikes, reminds me of my reaction to anything that flys and stings. Wasps are gods anti-gift to man. They alone demonstrate that our god is not benevolent. What deity -- of the non-malicious persuasion -- let's us live in the same world as those flying invasions of personal space!? At least bees fucking pollinate. There's a god damn hornet in china that eats meat.
MEAT. YEAH, I DIDN'T SLEEP FOR WEEKS AFTER I SAW THAT.
Anyway, we all have our triggers. Your's just happens to have eight legs and no wings. I usually take cold, COLD showers when I can't sleep because of shit like that. That and I leave the covers off; brushing sensations make it worse.
Good luck.
EDIT: Mow with a long sleeve shirt on. It may sound like murder, but the army wears long sleeves for a reason: keeps the sweat moisture in AND protects the skin. Also, tuck your pants into your shoes and tape them down around your ankles. If you're me, look like a mega-dork and wear a bee keeper's mask as well.
EDIT2: Who the FUCK keeps bees for a living!?
*hugs a Des*
2095145
It is a true test of skill if you can kill a fly from three hundred yards.
Arachnaphobia is best paranoia.
2095052 oh hay, it's the teenage chrysalis tumblr.
2095062 GAH IT'S SO ADORABLE!
2095146
First off, I've actually met a beekeeper, and stood near a honeybee hive. Bees are actually mostly fairly harmless as long as you don't bother them; I've never been stung by a bee, despite having them crawl all over me once, and land on me on more than one occasion. Bumblebees are borderline cute.
As for wasps - there are indeed some species of wasp which pollinate flowers. Many other species are actually very important because they are parasites on parasites, being tiny little winged predators. Personally though, I'm less than fond of them; they're far more obnoxious than bees and unlike bees, don't die when they sting you. I have been stung by wasps on multiple occasions, most obnoxiously by a paper wasp which built its nest in my car door. Bees, at least, have the courtesy of not building their hives on my house or my car.
I had one wasp fly into my room about a month ago through the ceiling, which wasn't much fun either - it didn't sting me, but it was less than welcome. My ceiling has yielded a few annoying things, actually - I've had (on two separate occasions) mice fall from above. One was a pinkie which died on impact with the floor; the other actually fell onto my fan, and as I turned it on, it was flung off the fan into the wall of my room (which rather startled me). And I'm like "What?" and then I go and look and lo and behold there is a mouse there.
Thanks ceiling.
2095146
Beekeepers, obviously
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Alright, I should amend my initial statement. Bumblebees are damn adorable. All that little fur on their fat little bodies... And they bump into everything! Uh-DOOR-able.
That said, I don't give a damn what purpose wasps serve. And hornets? I have set quite a few things on fire because of them.
2095185
Wise guy, eh? Nyuck nyuck nyuck.
Well, I've gotten ticks on me before and I can't say that I've ever reacted quite like you T.D. No, since I work on models when I get the time I've got all sorts of fun little tools around. Like the first tick I found on me, I got it off of me, cornered in a container, and then promptly cut in half lengthwise with an exacto knife. I felt then and still feel this was a perfectly reasonable course of action. I wish you the best of luck in not contracting anything from the little menace.
Damn it, now I'm all itchy.
I somewhat know that feel--at least relating to mowing the lawn. Last year, while mowing, I discovered the riding lawnmower and my arm had been covered by this strange red dirt. Dirt which was moving...
A two hour shower later and I was still itching. I still don't know what those little mites were.
I do sometimes regale passersby with tales of when I caught a mouse in the kitchen, squeezed a little too hard, popped something important inside said mouse and then bashed it flat with a large garden spade...
Mice are cute and all, just not wild, disgusting ones in my kitchen.
Also I scream like a girl if spiders and/or bugs crawl over me, so I can see where you're coming from about ticks.
2095196
To be fair, when we run into aliens, the fact that we keep small, poisonous flying creatures as domesticated animals and simply allow them to wander around in the environment, periodically braving their stingers to steal their secretions, has a not unreasonable chance of being really freaky to them.
That, and dairy animals.
I have some sympathy. I've been bitten badly a time or two in the past (before I was a Lich, obviously - actually, the ability to have insects touching you drop stone dead instatly is just one of the many boons of Undeath status...!), though in the UK the little fraggers are slightly less nasty. I remember once as a child I got bitten (probably a bed-bug or mosquito or something) on the back of my hand one night and scratched it. By morning my hand had swelled up something rotten, to the point my Mum had to practically bandage it.
If you're not already taking them, maybe you should try some antihistamines? I don't know whether that would help or not (I'm, sorta guessing "no") but it probably wouldn't hurt.
Come to Scotland some summer. Go to the Highlands, and traipse around in bracken absent full leg coverage. Every excursion I've made there has resulted in going through dog fur with a fine-toothed comb (as well as checking my own exposed extremities) for the wee monsters.
Sorry to hear about their awfulness not being confined to my part of the world. Hope you avoid sickness/get better (delete as appropriate as events develop) soon, sir.
2095062
Moth ponies are fine. I've no issue with them.
It's the bastards with a wing span the length of shoe and body size of a palm that freak me the hell out.
~Skeeter The Lurker
I'm glad I read this right before I went for a run on a route that includes a couple stretches of grass. Yeah, I think I'll be talking a slightly alternate path today.
Well, I guess that really tic- oh wait, you've already made that joke.
And now I'm scared of everything.
I would pay money to see the officer's reaction to that
2095052
It's the only way.
That or lots of pesticide.
That sucks dude. But, worry not for the future, anyway. I got the cure for what ails you. And no, Flim and Flam totally didn't sell me this behind the Haymart...
beprepared.com/media/catalog/product/c/a/ca_l012_bens_100_max_pump_spray_1.25_oz_1920x2560_1.jpg
I use this stuff all the time when I go anywhere further than my driveway, works like a charm
Yikes.
I've had bug issues myself, and when I was little I was pretty moth-phobic though I'm less panicky about them now.
I am so delighted with a world that can have this happening for real in it
Sorry, carry on
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But most importantly:
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I know how that feels, man. We'll, not to your extent. I have a few acres of woodland property down here in the Bible Belt, along with three dogs that need to go in and out of the house every twenty minutes, bringing with them whatever managed to clamp on to their fur out in the brush. You'll never know ticks until you've had one latch on to your... Ah, more tender places. If you get me. The only way to kep tick free during this time of the year is to wear long jeans tucked into your work boots. But then again, that's hotter than sitting on a running radiator. Though, if you fear ticks that much, it may not matter how hot you get, at least until you get a heat stroke.
If you'll excuse me, I have to go strip down naked and pray that I don't see any black mounds of vampiric evil on my body.
Surely you've considered tick repellent?
Even so, we all have fears. I'm terrified of heights, I even get butterflies when watching videos of people climbing on YouTube
Ha, yeah, I sort of know the feeling. I probably annoy my little brother, sister, and the neighbor kids by being paranoid about black widow spiders whenever they play outside. I make them check every toy before they play with it, stay away from large rocks, etc. The damn things are everywhere, though, and I've come way too close to being bitten a few times, now.
2095277 Kill em with fire!
So. Childhood trauma.
I'm going to guess that your parents were less laissez faire and more must-plan-for-everything. Did you get consent repetition of 'if you don't do X then Y will happen' styled nagging? That could certainly add up to the kind of emotional response you seem to be experiencing. The two specific parts being the subconscious rule that a lack of control (preparation) is catastrophic and the understanding that subsequent complaint (venting of emotional pressure) was improper or unwarrented/unwanted.
Just counsellor M's passing thoughts.
Ow, nasty bit of luck there. Sounds like you could use some thick protective clothing, or leg-wear at least.
Luckily I've never been nipped. The only time I did find one was when I spotted a castor bean tick in the downstairs bathroom. Naturally, I spent the next few weeks and months carefully checking if there were any more in the house. No idea how it got there, or what it was feeding on.
And dreams like that have only ever involved ants or spiders in my case, and usually exaggerated in size. No less unpleasant.
This is maybe the greatest thing anyone has ever said.
All I can say is, ticks are at least worth a little fear. Admittedly, not so much that you can't do anything about them, but I'm hardly one to judge. :B
Also, the obvious solution is to become more of a shut-in so the church kids will clean your yard. This is why I never want a house.
I don't know if I've ever had a tick, although I'm a bit paranoid about it. I may have had a tick a few months ago (somehow), but all I saw was the head of whatever it was, so I'm not sure. Popped that sucker out and crushed it with the tweezers.
I'm told that wearing long pants with your socks overlapping the bottom of them is the best repellant as far as outfits go. I've also heard that ticks really don't like rubbing alcohol. It kills them, I guess. Take my advice with a grain of salt, though. I don't know any of this firsthand, and all my knowledge comes from newspapers and online articles.
Well everyone has a fear of something. Mine is spiders. Seriously, once there was a dead spider on the ground in my bathroom (I learned about how spiders look when dying/dead from someone I'm subscribed to on youtube), and freaked out. I knew it was dead, but in my mind, it was still alive. I had to squash it with my rug (after accidentally moving it a few times, and scaring the shit out of me). All you gotta do is get over this fear partially to stop the dreams, I think. I mean, it works when you watch scary movies and stuff, right? Take Cloverfield, for example. Say you're afraid of the monter in that (and let's be honest, who wouldn't be?). What do you tell yourself? It's not real. It's just a movie. It won't happen. So, tell yourself that. It's not real. It's just a dream. It won't happen.
If that doesn't work, then I'm of no use to you.
I get the pun in the title