I/you dare me · 12:25pm Apr 15th, 2014
At the time of this writing, the Popular Stories column contains a tale in which Twilight is replaced by a firetruck.
Yes, I'm serious. A firetruck, just in time for the Gala.
And for no reason I can actually come up with, when someone in that Comments section asked "...why a firetruck?", I replied that a Sherman tank would have been silly and then mentioned that I was getting back to work on Fluttershy Gets Replaced By A Sherman Tank.
It was a joke. Really it was.
But...
...should I?
Or am I taking a Peaches-level risk on helping to kick off a wave of The Mane Cast Gets Replaced By Stuff?
(Y'wanna know the worst part? I already have a plot excuse.)
ETA: It has been submitted. I have no idea if it'll pass moderation.
The chapter tile is -- accurate. The chapter title is waking up post-drunk, looking around the room, and realizing no one who was there that night will ever speak to you again.
(If I say that was more fun than it should have been, do I get banned twice?)
Re-ETA:
...that was the fastest moderation story approval I've ever seen.
If anyone needs me, I'll be hiding in the bunker.
...look, I'm Pony Hitler. The bunker came with the gig.
It's like having lactose intolerance and a bowl of ice cream... you know you shouldn't... but it tastes so damn good.
It's okay. Triptych can wait
I am fascinated, yet horrified...
*Edit* I take that back. I just read the story in question. I'm just horrified now.
Please don't.
2012069
Give or take a few hours for inadequate edits, a new chapter will go up on April 20th.
Because I recently discovered an ocular clinic willing to pay me for blood samples.
2012072
But it's Fluttershy.
Getting replaced by a Sherman tank.
Plus I have a plot!
...look, the other option was Spike Gets Replaced By An Email App and most of Ponyville wouldn't have even noticed.
I'd read it
If anyone could pull it off, Estee, it's you.
And any rumors that I'm planning Derpy Gets Replaced by a Steam Shovel are entirely that.
Write it, what's the worst that could happen? I'm sure that the server won't burn down.
Probably.
I double-dog dare you. And Rainbow Dash obviously gets replaced by a Harrier jump-jet.
Rarity is Replaced by a Ferrari (Ferrarara!)
Pinkie Pie is Replaced by the Popemobile
Applejack is Replaced by a Background Pony (and no one can tell!)
Estée is replaced by a crackfic writer...
Do it!
Heck, you might as well. The firetruck story was good for a few moments of amusement. If I could hit the thousand-word minimum, I'd write Diamond Tiara is Replaced by a Dog Turd.
(Ok, no I won't, even though I know damn well I could hit 1K.)
And none of my followers left me for my part in the peachpoclypse, so you're probably good jumping on the ponies-being-replaced-by-things bandwagon.
Blueshift has already written a swathe of "Twilight and Trixie are sentient _____________ who are in love" that are worth reading. I say go for it.
2012255
Estee is replaced by an AT‐Estee
2012268
Now I’m curious. You said you didn’t lose any followers… do you know if actually managed to gain followers for having participated in it?
2012333
Yeah, I picked up a couple of followers, and I got both Obs and Eakin commenting on my story, too, which was pretty cool. Of course, there's no way of knowing if those people followed me for Twilight eats a Peach, or because they read it, decided it wasn't half-bad, and then read something else I'd written and figured I was a pretty cool guy.
One could argue I not only participated, but that I started it.
2012137
2012255
2012130
This is what just went into Wordpad:
"There was a long pause, one which a much better writer would have used to build some degree of drama, but which this hack used for losing on Level 168 of Candy Crush Saga another five times.
Stupid game."
If I get banned for this, I will understand completely.
2012268
How many years passed before anypony noticed the difference?
2012391 9/10 would read, then immediately question my life choices.
2012391
There's a difference?
2012523
The turd smells better.
2012100
All the mane six are replaced by carnivorous pianos.
...sorry.
2012530
Do it.
2012100
Now you've gone and reminded me of this goddamn story.
I cry everytime.
2012541
Ever since PianoGate, I have had a story on my to-write list: Twilight Sparkle, Vampiano Hunter. Evil sentient pianos are infiltrating Equestria, and only Twilight realizes it. Twilight unravels the piano conspiracy, leaving behind a trail of broken and gutted pianos in her wake, until she reaches the Keymaster, the ancient vampiano overlord. In a final cataclysmic battle, she destroys even the concept of "piano" with universe-altering magic so that nothing like them can ever rise again.
I have written a few pages of this. It is utter meaningless nonsense, on par with that fire truck story o_o
2012655 And of course, at the end, a little Harpisdiscord scurrys off with thoughts of revenge...
New Estee?
*Reads post*
2012375
I just read The Original Peach Launch.
I'm now wondering if it's possible to do something with Pinkie Pie vs. Durian.
2015542
Like, as a parody of the "Dan vs. Pinkie Pie" 'verse, except with durians (possibly wearing little durian-shirts that say 'JERK'), or are you thinking of something completely different?
2015566
More along the lines of 'Have you ever tried to open one?' The stink from the shell is legendary, but the struggle to get at the fruit's core is a very close second place. I just flashed on the Cakes trying out a foreign recipe which required durian as an ingredient. So they order a few. Dozen. Which, once they defrost, immediately begin to stink up Sugarcube Corner, the street outside, and possibly most of Ponyville. All while Pinkie (possibly with the Cakes) tries to figure out how to crack the shell without destroying the fruit inside, preferably before the law which banned durian imports into Canterlot (which, incidentally, Luna is not technically ignoring because she grows her own), stretches out to Ponyville for a fresh vote, mostly to head off the riots.
At some point, Twilight may show up and scream "I"LL SMASH IT WITH A HAMMAH!"
I'm trying to work out how a pony would open the thing. Earth pony strength could crack it, but without practice, might ruin the cores. Plus it's a little spiky and stepping on it won't look like a good solution. Cracking it between teeth -- no. The height required to break it with a drop turns it into a lethal guideless missile. A unicorn field can't get inside and prying it open requires a crack. You could squeeze it until it broke, but...
2015601
Hmm, I think my idea was better.
(or at least crazier)
I wonder if a griffon's beak could easily open one? 'Cause that could be a reason why they're used in some kinds of cuisine.
I don't know if we've seen axes in canon, but in one of the IDW comics, there was a mare with an ax cutie mark. I suppose a saw would probably get into it, too.
Or, perhaps one of Fluttershy's critters could open it. Pinkie probably wouldn't want to delegate responsibility, though. A hammer and chisel might do it, too, and I'm 90% sure Big Mac had a hammer in the Hearts and Hooves episode (plus, there's a background pony in canon with a hammer cutie mark).
2015601
Also, now that I think about it, since Best Pony is kind of cultured (or likes to think she is), Rarity might know a thing or two about durians.
2015641
Very likely, but I'm seeing Thing #1 as "Get that out of my shop!"
2015643
Well, yes; I don't think Rarity would want an un-prepared durian anywhere near her (although again, if you accept the IDW comics as canon/semi-canon, she is willing to suffer for beauty, so the case could be made...). Still, one possibility for an overall joke is if Pinkie et al try everything they can think of to get it open, finally coming up with some completely nutty but effective solution (whatever that may be).
Finally, Rarity finds out, and gives them the easy, mess- and struggle-free method, ideally without having any idea of how hard everypony else worked.