More of that "50 Questions" business · 2:01am Apr 11th, 2014
This time with actual answers, kinda sorta:
1. What's your name?
Sez "Charles" on the birth certificate.
2. How old are you?
Sixty.
3. What country do you live in?
As Borat would say, the U. S. and A.
4. What do you look like?
I used to say I resembled the love child of Roseanne Barr by Rush Limbaugh, but that was 75 pounds ago.
5. Who do you wish you looked like?
Paul Giamatti, except taller.
6. How did you come across MLP?
A friend of mine -- college professor -- dropped a few pony references here and there, and if there's anything I hate, it's not being able to keep up with an individual with twice as much education.
7. Favourite Ship and Why?
The one that makes most sense to me is AppleDash; however, I really, truly want Twilight Sparkle to find somepony.
8. Least favourite ship?
Anypony with an inanimate object. (Now two inanimate objects -- Scootareader has done one, and done it brilliantly -- that's fine.)
9. Have you admitted to anyone your love for ponies?
By now, just about everyone who will listen, and several who didn't plan to.
10. Were they family?
Some were, some weren't.
11. Favorite Episode?
Still "A Canterlot Wedding."
12. Favourite superhero?
I've been a Fantastic Four fan since ish #1 (which I have in a bound volume).
13. Fave Anti-hero?
Captain Yossarian in Catch-22.
14. Fave Supervillain?
Victor von Doom. (See #12.)
15. Fave antivillain?
Dr. Horrible.
16. The last book you read?
King of the Mild Frontier: An Ill-Advised Autobiography by Chris Crutcher
17. Last movie you watched?
Idiocracy (again).
18. Favourite song at the moment?
Taylor Swift's "Back to December."
19. Fave song you keep coming back to?
Jackie DeShannon's "When You Walk In The Room."
20. Current job?
I tend a server farm for a sports operation in Central Time.
21. What's your ideal future job?
Same thing, with someone else doing the heavy lifting.
22. Dream job?
In no particular order: getting paid to write; getting paid not to write.
23. What's your greatest achievement so far in life?
I'm 3-0 against the Grim Reaper.
24. Greatest Failure?
When the Reaper finally scores.
25. Do you have pets?
Nope.
26. What's your dream pet?
I really don't aspire to one.
27. Any weapons you own?
I've had a few guns in my day.
28. Any gun you want?
It's illegal to own one, but I really enjoyed what is officially described as "United States Machine Gun, Caliber 7.62 mm, M60," simply because I was better at it than I thought I should have been.
29. What religion are you?
Semi-relapsed Roman Catholic.
30. If you could hang out with one historical person for day?
G. K. Chesterton. (See #29.)
31. If you could bring back one dead person for a day?
Any of three siblings who have gone before.
32. Are you political?
Not voluntarily, though it's hard to ignore it these days.
33. Are you married?
Not since 1987.
34. Do you have a special somepony?
Nope.
35. Do you have a crush?
Always.
36. Care to explain?
The only way to get over someone is to find a replacement.
37. Do you consider yourself attractive?
Not in the least.
38. If you could hang with any living person?
P. J. O'Rourke.
39. Favourite Pony?
Twilight Sparkle.
40. Any embarrassing secrets?
After 18 years of running a blog, I don't have any secrets to speak of anymore.
41. If you've done any art or writing, what are you most proud of?
Anything about which someone says "It's not as bad as you thought it was."
42. Are you a virgin?
Um, no. And neither are my children.
43. Craziest thing you've done with no regrets?
Rode up a mountain on a bicycle in the dead of night -- and, then, of course, came back down.
44. Craziest thing you've done you do regret?
I'm really too old to have regrets at this point.
45. Do you have a fetish?
Not in any strict sense of the word. Although see chapter 6 of The Sparkle Chronicles: "A sweet smile and a decent pair of legs, I had said, would get my attention every time." That's the one line in the whole story that exactly describes me.
46. Do you regret saying this fetish?
Not really.
47. Fave FIM stories?
I have argued that Background Pony by SS&E will someday make college reading lists.
48. Fave quote?
It's been my blog slogan since ever: "I couldn't possibly fail to disagree with you less."
49. Have you ever hurt someone just to hurt them?
Not really, though I've occasionally questioned my motivations.
50. Did you answer these questions honestly?
Perhaps more than necessary.
Good answers...dang, gonna have to do this at some point
1999235
Well, it's not like Celestia is doing the old Faded Rose shtick: if you didn't already know she was thousands of years old, you wouldn't assume it from her appearance.
And I expect every reader of this to be younger than I am. No offense.
1999350
I figure, if I had any issues with being This Old, I'd probably expunged them all with the TwiBrush Tales. (Brush, after all, is about to turn 62, if I've counted correctly.)
1999378
You don't want to know what that chapter did to me. It just sort of cascaded out of me, a little faster with each paragraph. I finished it at a single sitting, wept uncontrollably for about twenty minutes, went back and changed a few words, then let it publish. It was about this point that I decided that I probably shouldn't write any more of this, for my own good.
And of course we all know how well that worked out.
You've gone from enigma to fascination in a single blog.
Well done. I'm glad you did.
1999652
1999809
Time is on my side. (Yes, it is.)
Oh, I should also mention that I must always put a moustache on my mental image of anyone who goes by the name of Charles.
It just fits the name so well!
2000575
Especially if he thinks he's too good to answer to "Chuck."