Book Review: Rarity and the Curious Case of Charity · 4:50pm Apr 9th, 2014
BOOK REVIEW:
SINGLE WHITE UNICORN
by Galadriel Mariposa* Reuel** Berrow
In the latest shocking thriller from the twisted mind of Hasbro's greatest licensed author (and some marketing consultants), comes Rarity and the Curious Case of Charity.
I'll be honest: up until the part where Rarity ISN'T desperately forced to bludgeon Charity to death with a sewing machine, I was able to suss out a lot of guilty pleasure from this little book. The mere fact that this is a pony novel(la) for young readers based on a bloody erotic thriller film (based on a bloody erotic thriller novel) is entertaining enough, but there is plenty of material in the text itself to sustain interest for the hour or two it takes to power through the story.
G.M.R. Berrow writes Rarity as tremendously self-involved. This is good, because Rarity is canonically tremendously self-involved. She spends the opening pages of the book obsessing over the belated delivery of a letter informing her of whether or not she has been accepted into a prestigious fashion organization's mentoring program (and thus will receive a mentee/intern/unpaid servant). Before the letter even arrives, Rarity frets. She swoons. She paces. She orders Sweetie Belle to check the mail while she lies paralyzed on her fainting couch. Spoiler alert: the silly gray pegasus mailpony finally brings the missive (which she had misplaced), and Rarity learns she has been accepted, and is to be officially mented (the de-menting will come later). Her charge, a young design school student named Sweetmint, will arrive via train on the morrow.
I shan't spoil all the gruesome details of this wicked little yarn, but things get weird after Sweetmint (a near-white unicorn with a trio of light blue heart-shaped gems as a cutie mark, and a mint-colored mane) arrives, and the apparent ingenue announces that her name is actually "Charity." Mane dye and mayhem, and other sorts of hems, ensue.
The story is not all parody. As it turns out, Rarity is not entirely innocent in the affair, as she never really thought about how she would teach another pony. She wanted the prestige of an apprentice, and vaguely believed that providing proximity to a fabulous style icon such as herself would be guidance enough. There is a lesson embedded somewhere in there about how we should value our own ideas, and go out and create new things, instead of continuing to write yet more fanfic (I mean, instead of copying an established designer).
But the part where Charity tries to ram her Marenolo stiletto through Spike's eyeball is pretty intense. Good thing dragons have thick sclerae. Can't feel a thing.
Verdict: 
* Just a guess, but I'm almost certain this is what her initials stand for.
** The "R" is silent. Also invisible. Still, great fantasy authors absolutely require extraneous initialing.
Use of Celestia's name in vain count: 4 - "Thank Celestia, she could relax and start to prepare for her role as a fabulous, yet sage mentor." "It's Sacks***, for Celestia's sake!" "'Thank Celestia!' said Golden Harvest ...." "Celestia knows what that would do for my reputation."
Other references to Celestia (or Luna): 0
*** You know, the fancy pony department store.
So, worth reading, it sounds like?
So, The Talented Ms. Sweetmint, then?
1994717
Almost anything is worth the price of a fancy cup of coffee. Except most fancy coffee. So yes.
1994718
It's a ponified adaptation of Single White Female, which is maybe even weirder.
1994729
Ach, I missed the reference in your title line. I guess I was only familiar with "Single White Female" as a Chely Wright song.
I found the first two chapter books to have rather weak endings. How does this one compare?
1994776
I've only read the Twilight one and this one, so I can't speak for the whole series, but yes, the ending is absolutely the major weak point of this story. The dramatic tension (a surprisingly considerable amount of it) is suddenly sucked out in favor of a quick and tidy resolution. But I suppose Rarity was never actually going to end up in a life or death struggle involving pinking shears and hem tape. Unfortunately.
1994788
That was exactly my experience with The Crystal Heart Spell and The Rockin' Ponypalooza, I was hoping Ms. Berrow's endings might have improved with practice.
Well surely any impressionable, young and fashion-minded pony would want to be Rarity. That's not a sign of mental illness. Not that such a condition would be easy to identify in Ponyville, I suppose.
A fun review... I 'm always curious about these books. Thanks!
I wonder where I could get my hands on it. The prospect of getting it myself, in person, isn't the most attractive option right now.
WHAT
After reading wikipedia's article on Single White Female, all I have to say is Barrow has some issues to work out. Good thing she is, by writing them out for children to read!
1995110
eBook editions are your friend? You have a tablet or a reader?
Thanks for the review, and wow, it looks like the writer put much effort into it!
(not something I'm used to in my country, considering the magazine stories and translations here)
1997477
I do not. It's not a requirement for such, is it?
1999722
eBook readers should be available for your desktop platform as well. I never use purchased eBooks on my desktop so I cannot comment on the subtleties and peccadilloes of the process.
Swung by to see if you'd written anything for the Halloween season and saw this ugly thing looking back at me. Gotta drop my two cents...
A few small but critical details ruined it early on for me. I was having a great time up until somewhere around page fifteen or twenty, where the ponies arrive at the train station and Grand Master Berrow introduces each character except Spike. Meaning, when Spike finally speaks up, he just fucking pops into existence without warning. On an objective level, I see this as a lazy, unprofessional hack job. On an emotionally invested level, the bit where Rarity introduces the other five ponies to Sweetmint as her best friends and only acknowledges Spike by telling him to carry the bags made me hate the book.
Fuck Berrow. If she writes a Spike installment, I pray she's capable of emphasizing the things we like about his character instead of reducing him to a "cute kid", generating some chemistry between him and the other ponies rather than isolating him from them, and giving him some proper development as opposed to some simple elementary lesson.