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I have come to a decision. I have been writing romance for a long time now, and while I have enjoyed it, there is just not quite enough pain and suffering in it.
To that end, I would like to announce my new series of gutwrenching tragedy, all about romances that never had a chance.
Coming soon. Get your hankies ready.
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You couldn't have waited until tomorrow to post this, could you?
Wait - Human tag?
No. No you could not have waited another day.
Unf. This is my new fetish.
s2.quickmeme.com/img/37/3756df33940fd4dd8195517619e92a32487fc35499e061eb0da6692738f91069.jpg
I wonder if you're for real.
If so, I'll need my razors.
I'm torn. On the one hand, I do enjoy reading some tales of heartwrenching misery every now and then. But on the other hand...
Why must we must make Rarity and her friends cry?
Why?? 
Either way, consider me intrigued.
A Rarity story... with UNrequited love. And human?
Will this be complete unrequited love or will it be a sort of "They had a thing" from time to time but just the awkwardness or feelings or not willing to go beyond friends and or would be implied benefits when they get lonely?
I have no idea what you got planned, but I hope the E rating doesn't hold it back too much.
You announce this as a joke, but I can't help but admire how perfect a title and synopsis that is. I would totally read this. Not even kidding.
I can't clop to this!
cdn.overclock.net/5/5f/5f600f89_Not-sure-if-serious.jpeg
1971689 What's an E rating?
1971694
Don't lie, things like this are your biggest turn on.
1971940
SHHHH
Inb4 featured.
1971865 That Green "Everyone" which suggests it's supposed to be pretty light and simple, show level conflicts that won't delve too deeply into certain subjects that kids can enjoy reading without melting their brains.
Yeah, some people can get creative with the E rating, but those tend to be purposely vague or imply with no certainty something is what it is. But for the most part it's pretty safe and devoid of the more explicit stuff you can find in Teen rated stories.
Human tag.
You monster.
I GOT IT! You switched accounts with Bad Horse, right?
Romance with ponies along with a human tag? That's a mixed bag of nuts free falling into something completely new than anything I've ever seen you write before. Should be for an intriguing experience.
1972249
Depends on if Equestria actually ends by the end of the story or not.
1972313
Are you still on about that story?
1972314
I WAS DISTRAUGHT!
Oh, is that that story of Human Rarity we were talking about where she constantly has one of Flash Sentry's hair in her eye? I didn't think you were going to pull the trigger on this so soon.
1.4.14
Human?
1972934 Humans need love too! But they don't get any! Nopony gets anypony.
1972957
But why humans? I mean seriously Human fics are horrible 99% of the time, although since it's you and this is hopefully an April Fools prank I'll give it a shot. Although there's already enough horrors and tragedies that can be done with ponies.
And if this isn't a joke. Please tell me that the whole human bit is going to be more better done than what's been done before? I mean yes I can almost see an Equestria GirlVerse mixup where the mirror malfunctions or a new type of mirror / mirror pool sucks in a human from there. But usually my biggest turn off is the premise of humans entering Equestria and how it's pulled off. And I do know that's my own personal opinion. Also why Rarity? I mean if she doesn't give two bucks about Spike since he's a dragon "slave", why'd she want to buck a hairless ape?
1972053 I suspected you'd point that Everyone tag out to me and you have essentially confirmed my suspicions. Thanks
Although you did say more than what I wanted to hear but I can't really fault you for that, can I?
1973623 Because the "hairless ape" might be older and make her less of a cougar.
1974480
Well technically she never shows any real recipocation of those feelings of Spikes. I'll admit that fannon view of things for shipping is nice and all but she's:
1) Stabbed him with sharp pointy objects capable of sticking into his scales and he'd never say if they've penetrated [and the fact that he went lava diving was an additional danger if they did and him not being a "wild" dragon and not being wary of the risk could've ended up seriously injured]. And she's done this without thinking of the harm it could do him. Only that he was useful for her work as a mobile pincushion and could focus her magic on the dresses rather than holding a pincushion ontop of everything else.
2) Uses him as a free slave labor work force.
3) When he was about to admit his feelings quited him to prevent him from speaking. Yes being the "Element of Generosity" she would want to spare him embarrassing himself, but has yet to "let him down" gently or otherwise.
4) Other than a "Bow-tie" (that may I remind you she gave a carbon copy to Owlicious not long after giving him one), she's never really given him anything, nor has she spent any time with him when he wasn't being used for work. For all he's done for her.
5) Has never shown any interest to him in any shape or form in the show like she has with the other Mane 6. Or when writers are afraid of conservative blow-out some random Stallion which shows why she should stick with mares.
_________________________________________________
So she's not a Cougar. And hairless ape is a step down from magical, fire-breathing, intelligent free labor that cares about her. That and human fics are for the most part are horribly done. That and what could a human ever truly do for her?
1) They are physically weak unless rediculously over-muscled.
2) Are so much slower than ponies. [average human run speed = 11 mph. average "wild pony" on earth is 14.5 mph. That's not taking into account Earth Pony magic giving them a substansial boost. the 19.5 mph = 1 Wingpower; or magical teleportation or unicorns].
3) Can't fly [have no wings like Pegasi]
4) Can't do magic [have no powerful magical abilities that can even compare to Unicorns, or even *Shudders* Rams].
5) Have no natural defenses other than tool making. Which Equus has + Natural weapons / defenses that make them superior to humans. [Wings that can break concrete, horns that are stabby, Gryphon claws, dragon everything, hoofs that are powerful with their kicks, ect.]
6) Penis size. The average human is 5.1 inches. Average pony, 20 inches with a 5.9 - 7.9 thickness. Us humans aren't packing any heat over there. [yes the female vagina is 7.1 - 7.9 inches long, if I read that right in Horse Anatomy on Wiki]. But still us humans could never satisfy a pony like a stallion. And much less like a mare who has the right equine parts to know what's truly "magical".
1974928 I am standing by my response and I hope to never reply to you ever again, dumbshit.
1975874
Wow look whose an uncivil twit. Here I was being logical, and honest. And you can't even have a logical debate without devolving into name calling. It looks like I win
.