Drunk Fic · 9:54am Mar 22nd, 2014

I GOT DRUNK AND SOMEBODY POSTED A FUNNY PICTURE AND MENTIONED HOW PRINCESS PINKIE IS BEING A JERK ABOUT JAN'S TAKEDOWN, SO I TOLD THEM I'D WRITE A FIC. BRACE FOR DRUNKWRITING.

THE TWITTER BULLSHIT:

FIRST: A COVER IMAGE:

Pictured: INSPIRATION

--- Props Writes A Drunk Fic: Episode 1?: Princess Pinkie Makes Ponies Cry ---

The blaze of the flames lit the two ponies in stark contrast, haloing their coats in outlines of orange and gold. The pink alicorn sat down slowly, staring at the devastation. Ahead of her, ponyville burned, thatched roofs collapsing inward and flames licking from the decapitated buildings. The purple unicorn leaned back on her rear hooves, her eyes wide. “I can’t believe it,” murmured Purple Tinker.

Princess Pinkie smiled. “It’s rather beautiful, don’t you think?”

“Cleansing, really,” said Purple Tinker, taking a seat next to the pink alicorn.

The library burned merrily, all the books within raising a mighty inferno that towered and raged above even the larger buildings of the once-beautiful hamlet. Purple Tinker glanced at Princess Pinkie, noting the serene smile on the alicorn’s face. “Was burning the library necessary?”

“Of course. All those dangerous ideas, collated in one place? Really, it was the worst of them all,” Princess Pinkie said with a small scowl, “Of course, we’ll build it anew. We’ll rewrite the books, you and I. A new world with our ideas in the place of the ideas of old. A world where there is no rape culture, no misogyny, no evil ideas. Just pure; empty of thought that is not our own. Only the worthy will remain.”

Purple Tinker shifted uncomfortably. “Am I worthy?”

Princess Pinkie laughed. “Of course. You helped, had a hoof in this clean slate.”

The topmost branches of the library groaned in protest, but the dessicated trunk could no longer hold, and it fell into itself, feeding the flames and belching smoke into the black sky. The two ponies stood as one, stepping away as the heat from the inferno grew more intense. Ponies fled their homes, standing in groups and herds as they watched their town become engulfed in fire. Purple Tinker glanced around at the tear-streaked muzzles and the heaving shoulders, and looked to Princess Pinkie. The Alicorn’s smile never faltered. She spoke again. “I see your doubts. Their pain is necessary. I promise, their suffering and attention only feeds my power, makes me stronger.”

“I see,” replied Purple Tinker.

Indeed, the alicorn appeared more magnificent, her wings out wide and her mane taking on an ethereal glow. The ponies nearest her regarded her with confusion, and Princess Pinkie’s smile grew, wider and fiercer. “Now is the time.”

With a flap of her wings, Princess Pinkie rose into the air, flying above the heads of the ponies, her horn lighting up and creating a dazzling display of light, casting her in stark contrast to the surrounding devastation. She laughed viciously, her voice amplified by magics. “Little Ponies, heed my voice! Behold the end of your world! I have wrought this on you, tonight, and this is only the beginning!”

The ponies of ponyville gasped in horror. Groups began to argue, shouting, calling for justice, for anything. Princess Pinkie basked in their horror, their anger, growing stronger, her magical aura becoming almost blinding as the ponies below shouted obscenities, their full attention on her. The alicorn’s voice grew stronger, deeper in timbre, as she shouted. “Yes, this is my doing! I am the one responsible! Give me your rage, your tears! It only empowers me!”

The ponies grew frustrated, some throwing rocks and sticks, while others simply collapsed in disbelief and fear. Princess Pinkie’s wings stretched wider, her legs grew longer, almost similar in aspect to Princess Celestia. Her eyes, however, held no warmth or kindness—only black hate.

Suddenly, a voice shouted from the crowd. “Stop! Everypony, stop!”

The mob of ponies parted, and Princess Twilight Sparkle strode from the middle of the group of ponies. She was discheveled, her mane and coat blackened by soot in many places, but she held her head high and her wings open, projecting the air of a true princess of Equestria. She stood before Princess Pinkie, facing the other alicorn. Princess Pinkie laughed. “Twilight Sparkle. You think you can stop me? It’s too late. You have no Elements of Harmony, no mystical rainbow. You are merely an alicorn, while I? I am as unto a GOD!”

Twilight Sparkle was not alone. From out of the crowd came Fluttershy, first. The pegasus mare’s yellow coat was marred by red patches where she had been burned, and a slightly singed Angel Bunny rode on her back, coughing out smoke. Applejack was next, wearing her fire-proof boots, streaks of soot running down her coat along with the sweat she had shed saving her family from the flames. Next was Rainbow Dash, wingtips burnt and charred by the hungry flames of innumerable house-fires that she had flown into to rescue trapped ponies. Rarity followed the prismatic pegasus, levitating a blackened bolt of cloth with her that she had used to smother fires that had threatened to spread beyond the town. Finally came Pinkie Pie, her eyes wet with tears; yet she still bounced, passing out treats and balloons to distraught ponies.

The six mares stood before Princess Pinkie, staring up at her. Princess Pinkie chortled, voice louder than before. “Oh, look. The Elements of Harmony, here to stop me. Please, by all means, try.”

Purple Tinker strode forward, legs trembling. “Please, don’t resist her! She is too powerful, and without the Elements of Harmony, you can’t hope to stop her!”

Princess Twilight Sparkle smiled sadly at Purple Tinker. “Oh, don’t worry. We aren’t going to stop her.”

Purple Tinker and Princess Pinkie exchanged incredulous looks. Princess Pinkie spoke the thought on both of their minds. “What?”

“We aren’t going to stop you,” answered Twilight Sparkle.

“So, you are giving up? Have I truly beaten Princess Twilight? Oh, how the mighty have fallen!” crowed Princess Pinkie.

“We aren’t going to stop you, because… you aren’t worth our time,” stated Twilight evenly.

“What?!” shouted Princess Pinkie, wings flaring in outrage.

“We’re going to ignore you. We won’t give it, we’re going to just walk away. But, know this, ‘Princess’... you have our pity.”

Princess Twilight Sparkle turned to the assembled ponies of Ponyville. “Everypony, follow us. We’re leaving, and going to Canterlot. Ignore Princess Pinkie, no matter what!”

“You cannot ignore me! I am important and influential! I am powerful!” yelled Princess Pinkie.

None of the ponies looked at her, ignoring her cries and shouts. They simply walked away. Princess Pinkie’s aura began to fade, her wings shrinking, her legs shortening. She railed and raved at the ponies’ retreating backs. “You cannot do this to me! I am Princess Pinkie! I am always right!”

Purple Tinker watched as Princess Pinkie fell, landing on the ground as her wings grew small, too small to support her suddenly-frail frame. She took a slow step towards Princess Pinkie as the alicorn’s voice grew weak. “Y-you cannot ignore me! I matter! I must be heard!”

The alicorn withered, ethereal mane growing limp and brittle, returning to normal. Finally, Princess Pinkie lay on the ground, trembling. Purple Tinker stood over her, almost twice her size. Princess Pinkie looked up at her piteously. “Y-you still think I’m powerful, d-don’t you?”

Purple Tinker stared at her for a long time, and then slowly walked away, leaving the alicorn in the burning ruins of Ponyville, alone.

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NOT BAD FOR 2AM WRITING WITH VODKA.

Also, I created a drink. It's 4 shots of vodka and 2 shots of XRated and a cup of Raspberry Lemonade. I call it "The Princess Pinkie", because it looks sweet and pink on the outside, but in reality it's bitter and nasty and kicks like a mule.

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