• Member Since 15th Nov, 2013
  • offline last seen Apr 3rd, 2014

Pastor Pulp


I'm a sexy general who enjoys generally generaling.

More Blog Posts14

Mar
21st
2014

If Schools are Going to Promote Abstinence They Better Hand out Condoms of Differing Sizes · 3:39am Mar 21st, 2014

We went on a college tour today, and one of the booths was promoting abstinence. You just sign a paper and get a goodie bag.


There were pink sunglasses.

I wanted them.

It also came with two condoms.

I tried one.

Length was perfect for my peepee.

TOO FUCKING TIGHT THO!!!!!!

Seriously, I WILL tell anyone the size of my penis at any given time, so they can totally ask what size condom I need. For that matter, do they even make condoms suited for a male of average length but above-average girth? If not someone needs to get on that shit.

On the plus side, the condom was purple, and

It also came with lube and sunscreen. My friend got TWO PACKS OF LUBE, AND I ONLY GOT ONE!(granted he's packing ten so he needs it)

They serve different amounts of water-based lube, but not different sized condoms.

Fuck that noise. I'm going to have tons of sex out of wedlock in front of those people, and I'm not gonna use their condoms.

It will be gay sex tho, so I'll use the lube.

Angry gay sex. To piss of some Christians, who unknowingly gave me a condom that wasn't girthy enough.

Report Pastor Pulp · 287 views ·
Comments ( 9 )

Who am I kidding? Bronies don't have sex.

1943092
Then don't be a brony. Be a Sonichu.:trollestia:

They gotta go fast.

1943104
>shit stamina

haha no u

1943121
srry we'll bang k?

1943127
I'm so smooth that bitches call me Astroglide.

Eh, sounds hawt. Hope Hans enjoys it as much as you.:trollestia:

1943167
I'm going to need more lube.

Login or register to comment