Answering Indigo Eclipse: A Casting Call · 2:36pm Mar 13th, 2014
>>4076378
It's a rare thing when I feel the need to write out my thoughts on a Fic. Normally I'll give it the appropriate 'thumbs' and move on. But from one long-fic writer to another, I would feel bad if I did not.
Aw, thanks!
First, let me say that this story has a lot of heart and a lot of thought put into it. I can tell you put effort into the character's mental process and how they would function in each other's horseshoes. While I may not agree with your headcannon of why they're failing at their new lives, it's still done in such a way that it's believable and doesn't detract from the story. The Discord angle certainly puts a new twist on the Magical Mystery Cure plot-hole elements and easily fixes some issues, such as the Apple-family/Cakes/etc. Great job there.
Thank you! With the Swap, I wanted to create a situation that Our Heroes couldn't "logic" out of existence, so I felt something like Discord and his Bewitchment would go a long way towards paving over the plot holes.
I find it interesting that Lero (I still think his name is awkward as hell, even though I've read all of Xeno)<Shrugs>. I work with what I'm given.
manages to link with both parts of Dash, though a part of me sort of wants it to bite him in the ass. Sure, don't get me wrong, I like romance, but there should be consequences for trying to hold onto mind-altered bits of Dash that have pieces of their friends mixed in. Perhaps he manages to knock-up Rarity, and when she's finally 'cured' it causes all kinds of conflict?
You'll see!
I dunno, I'm curious if you're going to raise the stakes
YES.
and test their new bond after their true-selves come back.
You'll see!
The spider bit was pretty dark, and very tense, great villain creature.
Thanks! I've come to hate spiders even more after all the research I did for Mr. 7's sake!
The splork, eh, not so much. Oddly, Star Sparkle makes for a more interesting antagonist.
You want a better antagonist? Just you wait!
I sort of wish we got to see more of their intimate time together. Like when Dash presents herself to Rarity. That was pretty hot, and I was disappointed it didn't get a little scene. Easily could have been used for early character bonding between the two as Dash struggles with being 'bent' but having 'needs'. Even if they were their own chapters.
Hmmm... I'll tell you what, I'd like to use this opportunity to send out a 'casting call' of sorts. If you, or any other DR-fan feel confident about themselves as an erotica writer and would like to "touch up" Chapter 26, respond to this blog!
One last little bit, it's been a while since I read Xeno, so the Luna portion with Star Sparkle left me scrambling to figure out who was who in the herd and why Luna was bothering with the uppity mare. Perhaps a fore-word reminder to the readers about Luna's involvement with Star's herd? Just little bits of info would go a long way.
--- Okay!
Alright, I think that's everything.
Great story, and I'll be watching to see where you go with it.
Anyhoof, back to getting my next chapter written. My muse, she torments me.
-- I know the feeling!
Star Sparkle was Archonix's creation and Luna didn't appear in Xenophilia. So any kind of relationship you make between Luna and the Sparkle Herd is up to you really.
I think for a brief time Archonix wanted to have Luna be interesting in the stallion of that herd, but nothing really came of it.
You find it interesting that Lero... what? It looks like you got distracted in the middle of a sentence.
1926366
He's quoting the comments I wrote him on the story. Heh, looks like he took time to answer my comments with its own blog. I'm flattered.
The whole sentence was:
"I find it interesting that Lero (I still think his name is awkward as hell, even though I've read all of Xeno) manages to link with both parts of Dash, though a part of me sort of wants it to bite him in the ass."
1922840
Hmm...it's been a very long time since I read Xeno, so it's quite possible I'm mistaken about Luna appearing. Either way, the recent chapter with Luna and Star Sparkle needs more explanation of Luna's involvement. I felt a little blind-sided by Moon-butt having anything to do with the pretentious unicorn.
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I think there's an unspoken assumption amongst most Xeno authors that their readers have read most, if not all of the side and fan stories- I know I did, I couldn't get enough of the setting.
Of course, that's a poor assumption, but oh well- Anyhow, if you're interested, the details are in Xenophiliac's Guide, No Room For Regret, Ask Star Sparkle, and some other sources. As for Luna's interest, it's not towards Sparkle, in particular, but Lucent, but as the lead mare, Luna need to court her as well- and, as she put it in Ask Star Sparkle, "It's refreshing to have a pony who does not hesitate to speak her mind to me... even if she is a bit of an ass."
1928653
Luna, with the advice to see the
peasantscommon folk, might have decided intermingle with the population. Might have met Star that way. How close they are though is a whole other matter.