You're BORED? · 11:12am Mar 4th, 2014
Okay. Here we go. Rant inbound, the spaghetti shall flow in rivers, fairly warned be ye.
I have accumulated a backup of six episodes. I know, I know. I just wasn't feeling it, Mr. Krabs. But I've been working through them. Rainbow Falls was good, Cheese Sandwich was a funny motherfucker, et la, we have arrived at Three's Company.
I actually enjoy Cadance as a character. She's nice, smart, funny in a restrained way, caring, a good person. Pony. Thing. Right.
But here's the thing. Near the end of the episode (if you complain of spoilers three weeks after the episode's out, I will end you) she mentions that life is the Crystal Empire is nice, but she's bored and looking for excitement. Bored. Bored?
You do not get to be bored! You live in a magical fantasy land full of non violent high adventure that seems to exist in some sort of paradise post-scarcity society where there aren't any starving ponies, there aren't any massive epidemics of drug resistant diseases, and there certainly aren't any potential world-ending wars looking on the horizon.
And guess what? Even if there were, you assholes have magical fix it buttons glued to your fucking heads. You control the weather for Christ's sake, no drouts or monsoons for you! Speaking of Christ, bet you don't have religious extremists cutting people's heads off on TV, or asshole rednecks bombing clinics. No one can say they're doing god's will, because god corresponds with her subjects!
And you seem to get your problems nice and resolved, don't you? It's not like you spend years and years and literal tons of resources trying to come up with a way to, say, make crops more efficient. And it's not like that new way will open up new doors for new and exciting problems to make their way to the fore.
No. You don't get to be bored. We as a species could get to enjoy bored, mainly because we tend to have one crisis after another popping up for no good fucking reason. We would prefer bored to rising ocean levels, disappearing resources, endless conflict, and collapsing economies. We work a whole hell of a lot harder than you for very, very little reward. You do not get to be bored.
Fuck you, Cadance. Fuck you and your pampered, spoiled little pink ass.
And fuck Flash Sentry too, the no good waifu stealer.
New chapter tomorrow. I need a drink.
You make an interesting point but I'm sure leading a country can get pretty bor—well maybe boring isn't the right word for it, more like tiring or annoying.
1895059
Dude. Aside from the occasional eldritch horror attempting to enslave her subjects, Cadance runs the most low maintenance kingdom ever. All of its problems are solved by her subjects good mood, which is perpetuated by the same thing powered by those good moods.
I think you've just described so much of why so many people write fics that have all kinds of crazy stuff going on in them - the show has them living in a goddamn utopia, and that's just... not right. And not fair.
Also, any of them being bored isn't allowed, I agree. PARTICULARLY IF THEY HAVE WINGS. WTF, Cadance, how can you be more out of shape than TWILIGHT?!
I'm waiting for a Cadence perma-death in your series now...too bad only four or five things can really get it done, and three have an "alliance" with her, one basically gives no fucks and just likes to fuck around, and one is the enemy of the other four. So basically unless she really pisses off Twi, she'll stick around. Also this begs the question of what would happen to her, if there's an iteration of her in ever universe or if she's a specially crafted creature only native to our Equestria.
Either way inb4 Cadence meets a uni-bomber or some other untimely doom.
There, there. Let it all out.
1895066 Sounds boring...
Huh. I think she's bored because the crystal empire is boring right now. So far up north, there isn't much that wants to threaten the crystal ponies. But central equestria? Hardly boring. At least if you are the main six. Then some crap you have to deal with seems to come up about once a week.
Also, have you read Skywriter's Cadance of Cloudsdale cycle? If not, what the actual fuck are you waiting for? The guy is a freaking god with words.
Well, Airstream, you seem to be forgetting that from in-show canon, Cadance doesn't really do much outside of give a few speeches, stand there and look pretty, and resolve the occasional overhanging evil. I'm surprised she gets to do anything. Now that you mention it, it's probably not at all too different from what she was used to before she inherited the Crystal Empire. Pretty sure she'd be bored. Besides, even if she did more than that, if she was really doing her job, there would be a ton of paperwork she'd have to sit through and I'm pretty darn sure no one wants paperwork.