Nocturnal · 3:02pm Feb 21st, 2014
A/N : The following is a briefly proofread, un-structured thinkpiece. I don't really take my blog as seriously as my stories, so if that isn't what you're here for, you probably shouldn't bother reading this.
Hi. My name is Rosencranz, and I don’t usually write about my own life, because I like to write about interesting things. Really, I prefer fiction. There’s more of an audience for it. I don’t have to worry about getting the facts straight. And if the story gets boring, I can just shake things up, whenever I want.
These past few weeks though, I myself have been shook. Not by anything terrible, or vast, or tragic, mind you. It just that, recently, I’ve become nocturnal. It’s been strange. I go to a small college in the middle of Nowhere, PA. Every day, a few hours after I wake, everything shuts down and everyone disappears. All of the stores close here around 11:00. All of the college facilities shut down at 1:00, at the very latest. So, yeah. It’s been weird.
For the record, while I’m not complaining, this didn’t come about by choice. To tell you the truth, nocturnality kind of snuck up on me. I mean, I’ve always been a late sleeper, no stranger to waking up at 1:00, but I never expected to be like this.
It all started when I became chronically fatigued several months ago. I didn’t know why, but I was sleeping for twelve to fourteen hours a day, and staying exhausted even when I was awake. Over my school’s winter break, I flew back to Alabama and had myself run through a battery of tests in a myriad of doctor’s offices. There was even a sleep trial. They kept me overnight, covered in electrodes and monitors, then all through the next day. The whole nine yards.
I thought I had narcolepsy. Turned out, I was actually malnourished.
Malnourished, in an “elite” first world college. Ladies and gentlemen, the first case ever. Between my appetite-suppressant psychotropic meds and the dearth of Pennsylvania winter sunlight, I had an extreme vitamin D deficiency. And low blood sugar.
I was, of course, blindsided. A vitamin deficiency? Impossible. I was regularly eating all three food groups--meat, dairy, and carbs.
Regardless, I was debilitated for about three months, and developed a habit of waking up, going to class, and immediately coming home to sleep. Recently, on a steady diet of 1000% daily value vitamin D pills and extra meals (bringing my total daily meals up to a whopping two), I’d been steadily improving.
That’s when I got the flu. It didn’t bother me much, since regular doses of Dayquil kept me from feeling it, but it and a few late nights with friends and writing papers started to mess with my sleep schedule. Suddenly, I was staying awake until five in the morning regularly. I’d wake up, go to my morning classes, and come home to nap. It wasn’t particularly difficult to manage.
Then 5:00 became 7:00. My after class naps got longer. Before I knew it, I woke up to the sunrise, and went to sleep just after dawn. I’ve been a bit distant in class lately. Something about it being in the middle of the night to me, I guess.
So, tonight, I’m just going to stay awake all through the next day, to try and reset myself. In the meantime, as all the world I could possibly access sleeps around me, I sit and write this.
It’s strange, having everyone around you locked away and unconscious. It’s a lot like being in some sort of post-apocalyptic scenario. There have been days when I’ve had no human contact at all. Most of the time, though, I’ve managed to see one or two friends for a few hours at a time, and, of course, my girlfriend.
Still, though, whenever I walk down the street, I’m always the only one there. You know that silly Green Day lyric, “I walk the lonely road...?” I always thought that was absurd, oversensitive, and cliche. But now, the roads are literally lonely. It’s like, different, man.
That’s not to say that I’m lonely. Most of the time, at least. See, I’m a reclusive, introverted shut-in. Contact with other human beings beyond about five people make me extremely nervous. When I order food around here, I rehearse my order first--not that I need to, I’ve been making the exact same orders at every place for two years now.
I’m lame, I know. Can’t help it.
But, beyond the relieving, if somewhat lonesome, lack of people around me, there’s been other stuff that’s new to me. Stockpiling food, for instance. Three hours after I wake up, there’s no way to get any food or drink, save the vending machines scattered across campus. And those, with their jacked up prices, I can’t afford, not to mention the fact that there’s something inherently depressing about feeding yourself out of a vending machine. No matter how delicious an entire meal’s worth of pre-popped popcorn and Twix bars might be.
Also, there are only two places to eat here at night--a tiny pizza place, and a malodorous Dunkin Donuts. So, if I don’t make it to the school cafeteria to order a sandwich and a cheesesteak (and occasionally swipe some crackers for dinner later, when no one is looking) my breakfasts are usually either pizzas, or croissants with psuedo-egg in them. Not that I have any right to complain. I brought this on myself, after all.
And besides, I’ve always been a night person. I haven’t seen the sun for more than a few minutes in days and I’m not that bothered. People tell me I probably should be. They might be right. I’m getting pale. Really pale. Plus, since the haircutters’ here closes at four pm, the mane has gotten a little... wild.
The other day, a girl--whom I’d actually met before--asked me if I went to “this school.” At first I thought she was joking, but I was wrong. I still am not sure if it’s because I’ve disappeared off the face of campus, or because I look a little strange these days. Probably both.
I’m beginning to suspect that I’m also steadily gaining the suspicions of campus safety. Generally, I wear all black or grey, out of the desire that my entire closet color compatible. No matter how how hard I try, I can never seem to get it right with any other colors. But campus safety doesn’t know that. All they see is a big guy in all black skulking around campus in the middle of the night, sometimes with drug paraphernalia. If I wasn’t white, I would already be dead.
Hopefully, though, this will all be over soon. It’s already 5:22. Just a half a day to go, and I’ll be able to sleep like a normal person. Or at least, that’s what I’d like to believe.
I worked night shift over the summer for about a week: 10:30pm-6:00am. It was nice as it gave me a good reason to be up early in the morning to get my run in right before bed, but I never really got used to the idea of waking up around four in the afternoon. And the roads were always so abandoned on my drive home from work, so I feel you on that.
It's weird how much of your story I can relate to. Being up all night does get to be lonely (and quiet), but I can't remember being better rested.