The Apple of Wallstreet · 8:01am Feb 9th, 2014
Look, Ah'm not gonna try and belittle you or anything, but in the time that you've spent reading this sentence, Ah've probably made as many bits as you do in a month. Now, sometimes these things don't quite sink in, so let me demonstrate real quick.
By this sentence, Ah've made enough money to buy a Cattel carriage. You know, those hoof-crafted ones that they've only ever made nine of? One of those. Yeah, Ah'll probably leave it just outside my house, rain and all. If it gets damaged, Ah'll just buy another.
Oh, and speaking of my house: By this sentence, I've made enough bits to buy a twelve acre mansion on the outskirts of Manehatten. This mansion, in fact. The one right behind me. It has an eighteen hole golf course, three pools, and two equestrian games sized polo courts. And I don't even golf. Or swim. Or... whatever it is you do when you play polo. I think you hit a ball or something?
Anyway, I live in this place with my wife, whose picture you might recognize from Prance Magazine or maybe from the full color foldout in Playcolt issue #112 on page seventeen. Hey, I wouldn't blame you. That's a damn near perfect picture. Heck, I keep a copy in my sock drawer, even though I'm married to her.
Hm? Oh, no. That's not her. The mare swimming backstroke in the fountain behind me is Derpy, my partner. How she and Ah wound up working together is as peculiar a story as they come. Ah met her before any of this happened, back when Ah was a dirt poor farmer living on an apple acreage in Ponyville...
Because sometimes, every once in a while, I get the urge to write something stupid. Then I start writing it and I think, "This is stupid." Then a little while later I ask myself, "Is this stupid?" And that is when I know that I need to put down the pen.
More.
You have my attention, yes…
No, No, don't put the pen down. Keep writing, this sound interesting.
Yes. It is stupid. I think I want more of this.
dude, this sounds awesome!
*tries to insert coin to make the story machine go on*
Well, I am hooked.
Hey man, you know stupid is my one true weakness.
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I would 100% read this. To be honest, while I wasn't surprised, I was still a little disappointed this wasn't a full story. Silly as it is, there's definitely a quality tale to be told!
Swag.
You know why I'm here.