New comedy! (Warning, spiders!) Also, Wind Thief sequel update! Also also, I'm going to Afghanistan again. Also also also, a war story, because why not? · 9:21pm Jan 12th, 2014
Hello again! It seems I only ever post a blog when I have a new story. I really should be more like Bad Horse, who punches out near-daily reviews, critiques and lessons on how to be a writer, or D G D Davidson, who is not only an excellent author, but also one of the most insightful critics of the shameful lack of Flash Sentry in season 4.
Anyway, I realized the other week that I haven't posted a new comedy since... uh, May of 2013. Since it's now 2014, I figured my Wind Thief sequel could take a break for a few days while I wrote Small-town Charm. A word of warning, though – it's a comedy with a bit of a sting to it.
Remember the time Ponyville was invaded by Parasprites? Or the time Cerberus, the demonic three-headed dog guardian of Tartarus, Equestria's underworld, wandered away and ended up in Ponyville?
What I'm trying to say is, it's a odd sort of town. Anything can happen.
This is the story of how a million star spiders came to live with Twilight Sparkle. It wasn't even the weirdest thing to happen to her that month.
Ponyville, man. Crazy place.
So, about The Wind Thief's sequel. Two chapters totaling around 15k words are complete and sitting in my Google Drive. Another chapter is about halfway done, and the rest of the story is outlined. Once I get four complete chapters, I will start posting it.
I expect that will occur around the end of this month. Here's the kicker, though: I leave in February for combat training, and in March I'm heading back to Afghanistan for six months.
You guys may remember my last deployment, which I returned from 16 months ago. I was able to keep writing and posting without too much difficulty while I was over there, but my online 'presence' wasn't nearly as robust as it is when I'm at home. There may be days or weeks when I'm not able to log on at all (mostly when I'm travelling in and out of country). So if you don't see me for a few days, it's probably because I'm stuck waiting for an airplane somewhere.
Finally, I'm stealing a technique from the inimitable GaPJaxie here, and posting my progress for The City in the Shadow of Night. If you get a chance, check out GaPJaxie's stuff – he's one of the best authors on the site, in my opinion. and I wish I'd been following him for much longer than I have been.
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The City in the Shadow of Night
Thieves I: The Mansion Run: Ready
Thieves II: Den of Thieves: Reviewed
Thieves III: Drafted
Thieves IV: Steal of the Century: Outlined
Sidequest! Outlined
Lunatics I: Outlined
Lunatics II: Outlined
Lunatics III: Outlined
Lunatics IV: The Summer Sun Celebration: Outlined
Sidequest! Outlined
Nightmares I: Outlined
Nightmares II: Outlined
Nightmares III: Outlined
Nightmares IV: The City in the Shadow of Night: Outlined
Epilogue: Outlined
Outlined: I have a general idea of the major plot points, narrative arc, characters and action in this chapter.
Drafted: Chapter is currently being written.
Reviewed: My editors have eaten the chapter and spit out the pieces.
Ready: I picked up the pieces, wept over them, then put them back together into something better.
Edit: I used to include little war stories in my blogs. Archonix asked in the comments below that I bring back an IED from Afghanistan, which reminded me that I'd fallen out of this habit. So, here you go!
Story time!
Kharwar was probably the most dangerous district in our two-province area. It's a high valley surrounded on all sides by mountains, extremely difficult to reach, and almost entirely without Afghan government or security presence. The Taliban kept burning down the district center, and I don't think the police ever left their fortified stations. Not that they were missing much; Kharwar was about as empty and desolate as you can get.
One day in mid-summer, our convoy was rolling through Kharwar when we came upon an Afghan National Army patrol. They were pulled over to the side of the road – and here I use 'road' in the most liberal of senses; imagine a flat, dusty plain broken in places by scrappy weeds, with a long trail of dirt mashed flatter by wheels, sandaled feet, and livestock. That is the road.
The ANA had hit an IED, though no one was injured and none of their trucks were damaged. That is how most IEDs go; the Taliban aren't always spot-on with their aim, and many simply explode between vehicles in a convoy, or too far away from their targets, or they low-order detonate, doing little more than spraying dirt every which way.
This particular IED simply missed. It left a crater in the dirt, and spilled part of the 'road' into an adjacent wadi, but it wasn't exactly a killer. When we found the ANA, they showed us the detonator used to set the bomb off, a motorcycle battery wrapped in a plastic bag with some speaker wires trailing into the brush.
Evidence! We promptly grabbed it, tossed it in my camera bag (the only convenient bag we had), set it in my HMMWV, and forgot about it until we got back to the FOB that evening.
When we were cleaning out the vehicles, I went to put my camera away and rediscovered the battery. Being the smart person I am, I carried it over to our Explosive Ordnance Disposal team, so they could inspect it for evidence and whatever else it is EOD teams do.
"Hey guys!" I said. "Here's the battery pack for an IED the ANA found up in Kharwar. Where do you want it?"
"Have you checked it for explosives?"
Uh. No, no we had not.
The lesson here is, IED parts can be dangerous. Think before you stick them in the HMMWV with you next to all the ammo.
...
Hey dude! I just saw your post. I'm touched! I don't know if I've mentioned before, but I'm a fan of your work as well. I loved Harpflank and Sweets and I'm just setting into a few others. Can't wait to see the next update. Good luck overseas! Endeavor to return to us in one piece.
Man, looks like it's gonna be a long one, if, at two chapters, it's already 15k words, and you have fifteen chapters planned. Not that I'm complaining. I happen to like long stories.
Sad to hear you'll be less active in the coming months, but when life beckons, y'know? Stay safe over there.
1711789
You're adorable.
Ooo, those chapter titles, looks like fun and awesomeness.
Keep your head down over in the desert.
Bring us back an IED!When it comes to it, good luck.
1711998
Story time!
Kharwar was probably the most dangerous district in our two-province area. It's a high valley surrounded on all sides by mountains, extremely difficult to reach, and almost entirely without Afghan government or security presence. The Taliban kept burning down the district center, and I don't think the police ever left their fortified stations. Not that they were missing much; Kharwar was about as empty and desolate as you can get.
One day in mid-summer, our convoy was rolling through Kharwar when we came upon an Afghan National Army patrol. They were pulled over to the side of the road – and here I use 'road' in the most liberal of senses; imagine a flat, dusty plain broken in places by scrappy weeds, with a long trail of dirt mashed flatter by wheels, sandaled feet, and livestock. That is the road.
The ANA had hit an IED, though no one was injured and none of their trucks were damaged. That is how most IEDs go; the Taliban aren't always spot-on with their aim, and many simply explode between vehicles in a convoy, or too far away from their targets, or they low-order detonate, doing little more than spraying dirt every which way.
This particular IED simply missed. It left a crater in the dirt, and spilled part of the 'road' into an adjacent wadi, but it wasn't exactly a killer. When we found the ANA, they showed us the detonator used to set the bomb off, a motorcycle battery wrapped in a plastic bag with some speaker wires trailing into the brush.
Evidence! We promptly grabbed it, tossed it in my camera bag (the only convenient bag we had), set it in my HMMWV, and forgot about it until we got back to the FOB that evening.
When we were cleaning out the vehicles, I went to put my camera away and rediscovered the battery. Being the smart person I am, I carried it over to our Explosive Ordnance Disposal team, so they could inspect it for evidence and whatever else it is EOD teams do.
"Hey guys!" I said. "Here's the battery pack for an IED the ANA found up in Kharwar. Where do you want it?"
"Have you checked it for explosives?"
Uh. No, no we had not.
The lesson here is, IED parts can be dangerous. Think before you stick them in the HMMWV with you next to all the ammo.
1712322 Yikes... I'm surprised they haven't used that trick already. Or have they?
1712398
They have. The EOD individual in that story was later seriously wounded when he was inspecting an IED emplacement. The bombers put a fake IED in a culvert, and buried a landmine right where they knew he would have to lie in order to see into the culvert. Lost his right arm and right leg.
He's pretty good now, though. I saw a picture of him skiing on one of those neat seat-ski things. He works for a non-profit that helps wounded veterans.
Gee, I can't wait until that story is posted.
I feel kind of bad that I laughed at that story. Stay safe out there.
Edit: Well shit, now I feel horrible about that.
1712322
Be careful out there, wherever you go. The world would be a worse place without you. Here's hoping for a future full of reliable connectivity.
godspeed you magnificent bastard.
Story was very fun with a lovely heartfelt twist at the end - another great short from you.
And yeah, let me echo everyone else here and tell you to stay safe, please!
Oh man, I am so looking forward to your new epic. Usually, I don't start stories unless they're complete, because of the high incidence of abandonment, but that certainly won't be the case with The City in the Shadow of Night. You sound like a man with a plan!
Words can not even begin to express how happy I am that you don't have to go back to that bleached Hellscape.
I wish none of our troops, or innocent civilians, had to be there.
I
just
want
it
to
finally
be
over
Be careful out there.
1714297
Iraq? I definitely don't have to go back there.
1718861
This is why, despite having read everything you've written on this side of the "Mature Tag", and every blog you've posted, I seldom reply or leave comments... I always seem to screw up when I come to your page.
Perhaps it was simply wishful thinking? I, of course, hope that all goes well for you and the people of Afghanistan during your deployment, and I hope that you and your unit all come home safe.
1721676 So (!) true...
1712415 I think war has expanded your definition of "pretty good".
Are you Army or Marines? (Your bio's been obliterated by the site update.) When do you leave? You sound pretty calm about it.
1732298
It has for a lot of people. I'm always amazed at how cheerful many terribly wounded veterans are. It makes sense when you realize that although they were badly injured, they were in fact incredibly fortunate. The bomb that took TSgt. Popp's arm and leg could just as easily killed him, if he'd been laying a few inches further to one side.
Many of these people ought to be dead. In wars 20 or more years ago, they wouldn't have survived. He is, in that sense, doing pretty good. Last I heard from him, he was doing well.
I'm in the Air Force, though I usually deploy with the Army due to my particular job. If I sound calm, it's because this will be my fifth deployment, and it's a bit of an old hat.
1732374 If I sound calm, it's because this will be my fifth deployment, and it's a bit of an old hat.
Uh-oh. You're tempting the gods of dramatic necessity. You know not to say things like, "I've only got one week before I can go home!", right?
Also, be everybody's second-best buddy. Never be anyone's best buddy.
1712322
How does somebody check for explosives? I imagine prying it open and peeking inside isn't the best way. Some kind of sensing device to sniff for residue or something?
1763744
I think they meant, "Did you do anything at all to check it, or just toss it in your bag?"
1763749
Ah. I imagined there was some sort of procedure or something.