Circles · 9:38pm Sep 5th, 2013
So yesterday, I was burying my roommate's dog in the backyard, and reflecting on the ephemeral nature of life. Well, that and sweating my balls off, but Florida. What can you do? I'm sitting there, carefully excavating a hole to drop a dead animal in, which frankly, is probably illegal, but fuck it. The dog was medium sized, and her name was Delila, which is, in my opinion, not a very good name for a dog, but again, not my dog. The social contract dragged me kicking screaming to this graveside, I don't particularly care about the dog, it wasn't my dog, but someone I know, an acquaintance cared about it, and thus I'm obligated to care about it, or else I feel like a shit.
Anyway, hot as balls. Dead dog.
You know there is something deeply sad about a dead dog. This one had died with its tongue kinda lolling out of its mouth. It had been flat against the ground, and since we'd discovered the corpse several hours after death, it had dried and become stiff, and now, despite the dog being laid out on its side with a sheet over it, the tongue sticks out kind of half comically, have very pitifully. The dog's eyes are closed, but it is not sleeping. Not even a child could make that mistake.
You know, I sat in a theater today, preparing to watch a movie, and an advertisement had a shining example of youth loudly, wonderingly proclaiming that, "his generation is wilding out". A moment of absurdity suddenly struck me, I almost laughed out loud. Here's the ignorant fucking kid, exclaiming to the world that his generation is acting irresponsibility, wildly, partying like there's no tomorrow, and he's saying it like his generation is the only one that has ever done it. Every generation has done it. Every one. You did it, or you ARE doing it. Again and again. Technology changes. Society changes, the Zeitgeist moves forward, but people, people don't change.
Everyone goes through life like they're the first one to discover it. The young think they're the first to discover sex, or partying, or music, and maybe they find VARIATIONS of it, but it's all the same.
Here's the trick though, it's not all the same for US. It's the first time WE'VE experienced it. The only viewpoint you can ever truly see is your own viewpoint. You can agree with someone, but really seeing through their eyes? Standing in their shoes?
Impossible.
And the fucked up thing is, this revelation? this epiphany? Someone else has had it before. Some old guy is sitting there, reading these words, and he's thinking, ignorant fucker thinks he's the first one to think this shit?
Again, absurdity. I actually AM laughing now.
It might be arrogant, it might be selfish, but it doesn't matter if it's been done before. It's mine. It's yours. It's the exact same thing, and it's completely unique, because it's your first time. That isn't a jading thing. I don't think less of humanity because of it. I feel... pretty good actually. Somewhere out there, this is the best day of someone's life. The last day. The worst day. Just a fucking day, and it's the same the whole world over...
And it's unique, and precious. Because it is ONE person's experience, one person's viewpoint OF an experience, and it IS.
For me, burying a dog was a pain in the ass.
For the dog, it was nothing. The dog has moved on.
For my roommate, it was saying goodbye to an old friend.
Variations, circles. Paths crossing, and crossing again, a web-work of experiences, vastly different, and completely, totally, the same.
Good day gents. I'm going to go for a walk.
I actually think about stuff like that regularly, or at least when i'm feeling quiet and contemplative, which is usually very late at night (i have insomnia) or when I'm drunk and don't have anybody to talk to. I usually don't like to dwell on it, because i always end up somewhere depressing.
I guess it might be somewhat nihilistic, but i always tend to think that whatever I'm thinking has been thought before. On one hand, it makes it somewhat more relateable, but on the other, it often makes it seem like the deep thoughts and discoveries i just had lose their meaning.
I am an atheist, and i don't believe in any sort of afterlife, or consciousness after death. I believe in one life, and in squeezing every ounce out of it that i can. My goal in life is to experience the world, quite simply. I have a tattoo on my right bicep with the Danish flag on top, and a band of sorts below it. In the band is ten flags, one for every country i have visited and explored to my satisfaction so far. As i visit more countries, i'll get more bands made (each holds ten flags). My goal is to have all 194 nations in the world represented, or at least as many as possible.
1330288 That's a worthy goal, man. One of the reasons I joined the Navy was in order to travel. I've seen a lot more of the world than I would have thought.
The point I was making wasn't nihilistic though. Yes, everything has been thought before, but dude, it hasn't been thought by you, and it hasn't been experienced by you, and your experiences, and the way you experience them, is unique. Maybe you're the only one that cares about them, but they're yours.
I actually don't feel at all depressed about that. I don't have to be original, there's no pressure to be different. I'm just who I am, and I can conform to society and be a nice productive person, and not compromise that.
1330326
Oh, i completely understood what you meant, and i totally agree with you. I wouldn't say my own outlook on life is nihilistic, or in any way negative, either.
While i can't shake the feeling that it is near impossible to be original when there has already existed so many brilliant people, i don't feel any less unique. While someone may have had the same notion as me, it wasn't with my experiences behind it, or my thought process. Everyone are individuals, and nothing there has ever been will ever be again.
That said, i don't really hold myself up against other people very much. I don't relate much to others, i guess. I recently joined a society called MENSA where people seem to get me a bit more, but it's still not really something i talk about.
imgs.xkcd.com/comics/sheeple.png
1330417
Heh I've always loved that comic but its not cynical enough for me.
Thanks for sharing your nonspecial musings on the nature of life.
Delilah is a shitty name for a dog, no joke.
A wall is built one brick at a time, one atop the last...
I know it's been overdone but....
images.wikia.com/legogalaxygame-at/images/2/23/Clap.gif
Uniqueness does not grant importance.
1332809 Everybody is important to somebody, even if it's only themselves. If you aren't important to somebody at all, then I suggest you seek counseling. I'm not being flippant, I honestly think that if your self esteem is that low, you should talk to somebody before you hurt yourself.
Some people set the bar too high on their expectations for life. Nowhere is there a rule that says your goals have to be unique, world-changing, or even long-term. What you choose to do in this chaotic world is meaningful if you think it is, and nobody else has the right to say otherwise.
Also;
R.I.P. Delila.
1332965
Hahah, I appreciate the sentiment but I believe you misinterpreted the intent of my statement. Don't worry, I have a very robust amount of self-esteem. I've even been called narcisistic, and I don't dispute that.
I forget what I originally meant with the statement; it's not important.
1344358 Oh good. I was kinda worried there, bro. The way I read that was very bleak, you know?
I do so love philosophy, I think it is one of the most beautiful things humanity is capable of and that blog was simply poetic.
Thanks man
I'm probably one of the older people here, and I'll tell you--you're right about that epiphany being old news, but wrong about how we old farts feel about you going through it. How do you feel, watching a kid graduate from high school? Happy? Yeah, like that. Bravo. Join the club.
Now, I stuck a "follow" on you 'cause I like your story.
Nudge, nudge, wink, wink... "A-hem..."