• Member Since 1st Apr, 2012
  • offline last seen Last Thursday

darf


pony-writer/pornographer looking for work. old stories undeleted. i'm sorry. Patreon here

More Blog Posts153

  • 50 weeks
    April Fusser's Day

    The Fussiest Fic There Ever Was

    If you're not aware, I am addicted to fussers (big floppa cats). As such, it is imperative (some might say mandatory) that you read this immensely momentous fussfic authored by the amazing IncredibEE. I seriously cannot recommend it enough.

    Happy April Fusser's day <3

    2 comments · 224 views
  • 57 weeks
    Nothing to sell

    I was going to make a post selling my things but then I realized I have nothing functional left to sell. If you want to buy a broken pair of headphones or an acoustic guitar with a broken string or a piano with half the keys missing let me know.

    Also let me know if you'd like to help me make rent this month.

    Read More

    6 comments · 665 views
  • 86 weeks
    Darfcon 5

    Hello. Today our landlady had a psychotic episode and locked us out along with most of our things. We are on a public starbucks wifi for the next two hours. If you are able to help us with a place to stay the night or other help somehow please message us. That's all for now. Sorry.

    12 comments · 573 views
  • 89 weeks
    L-game

    Thing

    3 comments · 533 views
  • 91 weeks
    commissions

    I need 'em. Stipulations:

    - Pre season 4 canon only
    - Mane six preferred
    - No hyper-exaggerated fetishes (keep within the realm of fictional reality)
    - Max 10k
    - $25USD/1K, max 10k

    Message if you're interested. darf out.

    1 comments · 407 views
Jul
14th
2013

Talking (Yelling) about Clopfiction (and Horsefiction in general) [trigger warning: words] · 4:49am Jul 14th, 2013

i was recently accused of taking fanfiction too seriously.

this is one hundred percent true

there's a fine line between 'too seriously' and 'seriously' though, and i'd like to straddle it for a second to talk about some stuff that's been irking me, as well as some other stuff that might warrant discussion. this is also partially just a catharsis for myself, so i apologize in advance for being self-indulgent.

firstly: 'mature' fics (scare quotes, because, in reality, how many of the stuff with that label can actually be considered 'mature'?)

there are some things i've noticed about mature fics recently that i think bear mentioning, the first being: there are a lot of them. i mean, like, a lot a lot. a by-product of that seems to be that there are a great many people writing them as well. it's odd to say that, in a community centred around a children's tv show, there are various secret cabals of pornographers, penning as much debauchery as they can manage. there are layers of strata here so complex that research papers could probably be written about them, if someone was so inclined.

something i've noticed, however, is that with some exceptions, there doesn't seem to be a lot of camaraderie amongst smut-writers. some folk as of late seem to have taken up the cause of being in the know about each others' popularity—but for the most part, it seemed like since forever, someone could write horseporn and have never read or commented on another horse-pornographer's stuff. even more, some people who write it profess not to read it at all, which i find baffling (and will be discussed further on). i'm a bit of an idealist in this sense: i assumed that everyone who wanted to degrade the source material we all hold dear must have at least some shared, unspoken bond with other like-minded individuals.

some people seem to flow the opposite way though, and i'm guilty of this myself as well; i can't count how many times i've logged onto Fimfiction, looked at the feature box, seen a clopfic, and gotten inordinately angry. there is, logically, no reason for this at face value; i write porn all the time. why should i feel any more entitled to people's attention than someone else doing the same thing? there are a host of compartmentalized facets to explicate in this emotion: for one, many of the clopfics i read that are featured have significant grammatical or compositional errors. i don't think it's asking a lot to have something be properly put together... but, at the end of the day, i'm likely alone in wanting porn to be well written. the other, more tertiary reason, is probably a residual jealousy: i think this is less of a problem for someone sitting atop a throne of golden horsedicks (such as myself), but it's there for every author, unless they're incredibly good-spirited. if you see someone else succeeding, part of you wants to succeed too, and sometimes that want is misapplied as frustration. in the end, even before thinking about this, i knew that there was nothing substantive about my brief flashes of grumpiness: i did, and still do, make it a point to judge all stories on their own worth, and not let my perceptions to play into what i think of them.

i'm not sure why i'm broaching all of this other than to iron out my own insecurities. as is, i guess it stands as a question: to anyone reading, how do you feel about other people who write pony porn? is it an entirely misapplied sentiment to perceive some sort of brotherhood against people who think what we're doing is utterly reprehensible?

this launches into two related points i wanted to discuss, or more likely to just to yell about briefly before curling back into a ball.

A) the notion of the 'people who hate all clop ever' is a weird one.

in a conversation with Horizon, he brought up the idea of 'white knights' on this site—defenders of purity, striking out against something they perceive as vile with their only tool at their disposal: downvotes. according to other folk, this is a real phenomenon, and i don't have a hard time believing it. what i don't understand is: why?

i get that this is the internet, and stupid people will be stupid regardless of all attempts to convince them otherwise. but, honestly, in the grand scheme of things, what is that downvote doing other than hurling an invisible middle finger into the aether of the internet? furthermore, i suppose it's a bit much to expect people to be mature enough to withhold their ire for something just because they don't like it (and i guess that's what the downvote button is for, though i've always tried to apply it on the execution of the material, not my personal proclivities) — but, even in this regard, there's an entire function built into the site so you don't have to see porn! for all the people claiming "but i still want to read other mature stories!"—the percentage of those to clopfics is like, one to one thousand. to me, waking up every day, looking at porn, and downvoting it while muttering 'fuck you' under your breath is the non-committal equivalent of having your balls stepped on in regular intervals. fun for some people, i guess, but probably best to steer away from in the long term.

maybe, in some alternate reality, it might be nice to have a whole separate site for horse-porn? i'm not sure if this is tenable though, or if it's even the best solution (rather than telling every person misapplying their 'view mature' filter just to disable it).

second thing:

B) people who write porn but don't read it.

what the heck, dudes.

to me, this is akin to being a chef but never having eaten your own food (or anyone else's, for that matter). you can't, in good conscience, say you are doing anything right without having a sample to base your proficiency on. it's possible (though unlikely) that some of the people who claim to be of this mind are reading non-pony porn and translating the important lessons into their own, horse-related fiction—but even that rubs me the wrong way, because it's still akin to polluting the internet with something you don't deem worthy to take the time to spit on. at the risk of being confrontational: if you don't read porn, don't bother to write it. even if you were contributing something of value, the absolute pompous narcissism inherent in saying "I'm too good to spend my time reading the work of my contemporaries, while I expect everyone to read and enjoy my work" is sickening.

this ties furthermore into fanfiction in general. it's something i've had a bee under my bonnet about for a while, and wish to finally let out.

if you have more of your own stories in boxes on your user page than other people's: fuck you

if you are not following a single author on this site: fuck you

if you have a quote anywhere on your page along the lines of "I don't really read fanfiction, but...": fuck you

this whole site, and the essence of fanfiction in general, is contributing to part of a larger whole by virtue of the fans that are there in the first place. what's more is that the people doing it in the way that we do (by we, i mean 'writers') are applying our investment through something that is by no means an easy method. there are regular laments about how fanfiction is the most marginalized side of the fandom: it's its own sub-community, with bizarre rules and fringes and people who don't know what the fuck is going on elsewhere in the world. in the middle of all that, there are so many different types of people: young authors, struggling to try their hand at something new and unfamiliar, learning as they go because they want so badly to contribute to something they love; experienced folk who've had the benefit of life-lessons and practice at their craft, and are trying to bring the thought-out investment of their normal lives somewhere other like-minded individuals have gathered, and to make their writing mean something to someone for once; and all types in-between, milling about each other like pebbles in an ever turning vortex.

what this part of the community does not need is any asshole who thinks they're too fucking good to spend the few hours a week it would take to engage in the very thing they're creating. i understand that, if one spends all their time writing, it's difficult to find time for reading—but, wait, no, that's complete bullshit, because some of the best stories in the fandom can be finished in less than twenty minutes. why should anyone else spend the time it takes to read your shitty pony story if you won't read someone else's? why, in a community brimming with unsure individuals in a medium already saturated with difficulty and self-doubt, are you spending more time fellating yourself with your own hubris, instead of helping those authors who need it? why, in short, are you such a conceited dickbag?

this isn't directed at anyone in particular, but it's been grinding my gears for a while. i probably need to pull my head out of my own ass... but i feel better for having said it.

that was a lot of words about some relatively inane bullshit. like the header says: taking fanfiction way too seriously.



in the interest of putting my money where my mouth is, i'd like to offer up some help to any author who feels that they need it. while i'm adamant people can always make time to participate in their chosen art-form, i do have to stress that my schedule is fucked lately. regardless, if you have a story that you'd like given a quick glance (i can't promise full editing), a prompt you'd like to iron out, or just some questions about writing in general, please float them by me, and i will do my very best to answer in a prompt fashion.

also, if you're a porn writer,(EDIT: OR A REGULAR WRITER) and you feel like i've been ignoring you from my bubble for too long: reach out. i'm on an island of horseporn over here, and almost every person i've spoken to about our shared debauchery has been an interaction worthwhile. if you can put up with someone who has too much to say about horseporn, i'd love to talk to you. i'll add you on gchat, or something.

thanks everyone for watching. look forward to some (gasp) sfw stuff going up soonish, if EQD can get their butts in gear and get back to me on some recent submissions.

Report darf · 1,830 views ·
Comments ( 85 )

This. This right here is why I like you and your stuff.

~Skeeter The Lurker

A lesson I really took to heart after failing a really tough, but really important class in my Sophmore year of college, is that the sting of taking something too seriously hurts far less than the sting of not taking something seriously enough, especially for something that you want.

CWi

1209899 Couldn't have said it better, myself.

This blog has made my upsetting day ten times better!:pinkiehappy:

Also if you have the time may I request that you review my story I would appreciate it.

Very well said, Darf. I agree completely with you.

1209928
hit me up with a link (gdocs is preferred if you want more comments, though you'll have to wait a bit for that), either here or in pm

i'm likely alone in wanting porn to be well written

I assure you that you are not, good sir.

The problem isn't, IMO, that people don't want it to be well written; the problem, to butcher Sturgeon's Law a bit, is that 95% of porn sucks, because we live in a culture where doing porn is frequently career suicide, and doing "tasteful erotica" is frequently borderline career suicide. Hence, those who can write things that don't suck tend to focus more on their SFW efforts.

Also, and I say this here in case I ever get a stick up my ass and try to deny it later: I :heart: the fuck out of porn. Not just porn here, not just furry porn, not just bizarro fetish porn, just porn. I have my tastes, sure, but I have a wide, wide range of them. Pornography is a good thing.

*applauds*

I'd go out of my way to find a gif and link it but this is words time, so there it is.

Darf, I completely and whole-heartedly agree with you. I need to buy you a drink, man. :moustache:

Also, if people don't take what they love and actually put real effort into seriously then they should just shut their fucking mouths.

You had to get it out there at some point. Good on you, darf. Nice to blow some steam every once in a while. :trixieshiftright:

What if I read too much p0ni prawnz and never make any? :moustache:

trigger warning: words

Welp, I'm out. See ya.

In all seriousness, though, in regards to you saying to ask a question about writing in the comments (or something like that), is there a good way to, during self-editing, know if you paced something correctly?

I agree with this blog post pretty much 100%.
Note: I feel like the brony community, and by extension clopping community is very tightly knit. I meet new people every day, but I also know a lot about a lot of people, and the same in return.

but, at the end of the day, i'm likely alone in wanting porn to be well written.

You sir, are not alone. I don't care what the story is about. If it fails in spelling or grammar too heavily, I won't read it. When you're writing literature, if you can't put forth the effort to re-read your work even once, I don't think you deserve success. How hard is it to go back and check if you used correct capitalization and punctuation?
When I wrote, I was well aware of the fact that I was a new writer. I knew that my work wouldn't come out as pure gold. BUT, I checked it, rereading a great many times and sprucing it up wherever I could before posting it. Even still, it's not great, but I know that I put forth the effort and made something that I'd be happy to put my name on. (I don't write anymore, but that's not really relevant to my point.) I can understand if more active writers don't have time to reread multiple times (that's what editors and pre-readers are for), but if some douchebag just spends ten minutes on a clopfic and posts it, he doesn't deserve the attention.
Okay, I'm done with my rant. Much like you said, that felt good to get out.

As we all know, there are quite a few bronies who go with MLP because it makes them feel mature. The thought of finding a deeper meaning in something makes them feel like a deep person in return and they push it onto other people. "Look at how intellectual I am!"
You know the type.
Those are the type that I imagine are throwing out lots of bad clopfics, because clopping is a bit more diverse and bronydom in general. "I wrote a beautiful erotic story about something that is culturally shunned. I am so deep and intellectual."
That's how I imagine a lot of it. Of course, there are new clop writers who just aren't skilled, but even a bad writer who puts forth effort will often come out better than an okay writer who doesn't try at all.

[Edit] I just realized this comment was missing something.
I FUCKING LOVE THIS POST. YOU SPEAK THE TRUTH. The truthful, truthful truth.

Well played mate. Well played.:eeyup:

Reading that raw emotion put to paper got me fuckin' wet!

*Rips off clothes*

Take me you magnificent motherfucking beast!

Loathe,
Your Antagonist

1209955 >Implying you can read too much p0ni prawnz. :moustache:

1209964
tough to say
pacing is one of those things that's really open to interpretation, and is likely better judged by beta/pre-readers than yourself
with that in mind, you can always compare to another story you're aware is paced well - comparing to your idealized medium emulation works as well (movies, novels, short stories, etc). as a shorthand, the flow of a good story almost always goes in an arc, with the tension low at the beginning, rising to peak in the middle, and then descending at a variable rate towards the end.-

really, though, it is best to ask other folks what they think upon reading, but some of that might be helpful in some regard

Cool stuff, nice to know someone like you will help if you can.

Trigger?
N9t 9n my watch.
25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m9ow27wMQx1qgwpe8o4_400.gif
Y9u see, this is the pr96lem when dealing with words and what pe9ple say, 6ecause every69dy gets 9ffended.

in all seriousness, this is an amazing blog post and reflect exactly what I've thought, just put into much better form. you are brilliant.

I'm not sure why i'm broaching all of this other than to iron out my own insecurities. as is, i guess it stands as a question: to anyone reading, how do you feel about other people who write pony porn?

I've been trying to break into proofreading here recently, which is easier said than done. As such, I find myself proofreading stories with bad grammar. Shocking, right? But I tell them them and truly believe that it's the story that should matter, not the grammar, which is why I like to help fix it.

Recently though, when I sit down to read for pleasure, I'll typically select a good one that's been written by someone with a good Concept of grammar and been put through a host of editors and Proofreader's.

When I do this I find myself thinking: "Ah, finally something worth reading; not like the bullhorn I've been reading."

Then I'll be appalled at myself and ask "the fuck brain?" And move on. That's the extent to which I've felt of others here besides an assortment of praise and critique.

re: why I rarely, if ever, read other fan fiction while publishing it myself - That's one of the reasons I decided to cut myself off from writing it. I have some pretty high standards as far as things I read for fun goes, and it was very rare that I would ever find a fanfic that actually met those standards. Traditionally published works are much more often polished to the point that I can get invested in them, so it stands to reason I should switch over to writing those as opposed to continuing to submit content to a community I largely don't participate in.

And re: 1209964 - I've found it often helps to go back through a scene paragraph by paragraph (or even line by line), and ask yourself what would truly be lost if you just highlighted the whole thing and mashed the delete key. When people say a good scene goes long exactly as long as it needs to, they're really just saying that the author has effectively communicated everything that really needs to be said at that time for the sake of the narrative's advancement, so pacing is a matter of balancing that out with what you want to say as the author and whether it makes sense to say it then.

If, for example, you've got a character falling off a cliff, their mental state and the nature of the scene wouldn't lend itself to a long internal monologue about the circumstances that led up to them taking a crash course in skydiving. This is due in small part because said monologue is not entirely relevant to the situation at hand, and in much larger part because the character simply doesn't logically have time to go through all that in the middle of plummeting to their death. Later on, once they've landed safely and maybe had a little while to calm down and scrub the stains out of their undergarments, the mood of the narrative will have become much more relaxed and tedious, and that's when you can allow some more introspection to seep in.

In short: if your character's out of breath in a scene, and you'd find it difficult to read aloud most of that scene while being out of breath yourself, you might have a problem with pacing.

1210029

it was very rare that I would ever find a fanfic that actually met those standards.

you and i both know you're looking in the wrong place then. there are sheaves of amazing stories being told in this fandom every day. that's part of why i've been wracking my brain trying to figure out a good way to give them exposure, since EQD is dying and the Ponyfiction Vault is soon to close its doors for good...

i'm not gonna begrudge your decision to move onto 'real' writing, but i don't think 'my standards are too high' is a valid reason for not reading the medium you're writing in. there are plenty of fanfics i've read that are better than a bevy of published works i've been forced to slog through, or even ones i've picked up of my own volition.

I write porn (sometimes).
I read porn.
I make a habit of trying to respond to every comment when necessary, and you seem like a cool guy. I like your shit.

if you have more of your own stories in boxes on your user page than other people's: fuck you

Still have yet to actually take the time to figure out how to format my user page outside of the necessities, honestly...
Though, if they want to see my recommendations, they usually can just go to my Favorites and pick/choose from there.

if you are not following a single author on this site: fuck you

Done.

if you have a quote anywhere on your page along the lines of "I don't really read fanfiction, but...": fuck you

The fuck are people like this, casuals? If you're on a fanfiction site, and you go out of your way to create an account and write fanfiction, it's usually good to get an idea of what the demographics of the site like to read. By READING other fanfiction. :facehoof:

There is one other aspect of ire for porn on the feature list that I've come across, and even found myself feeling at times: that while the porn may not be bad, hell I've felt this about clopfics I loved, it doesn't belong in that particular spotlight. Almost like having a television series win an Oscar. No, Oscars are for movies; if your tv show warrants an award, it gets an Emmy.

Nothing necessarily wrong with either, but it's not what it's there for, you know? To me, the feature list is supposed to be (I stress supposed to be here because it often fails to live up to this ideal) be there to showcase high-quality work that deserves to be seen by as wide an audience as possible. Now, I'm not saying erotic works can't fit that description, but there are two traits that tend to inhibit it. One, people who are into that sort of thing tend to seek it out. If we're in the mood for good porn, we'll do the due diligence needed to find it even if it doesn't land in the featured box. Two, people who aren't looking for porn usually aren't going to be sidetracked/guided into reading it. For example, I'm not a huge HiE fan in most instances, but if I see one in the featured box, I'll give it the benefit of the doubt and read the first chapter. After all, there must be something here to justify the box, right? That's how I found and fell in love with Cultural Artifacts and Xenophilia. And yes, I'm aware of the implied hypocrisy of using Xenophilia as an example, but I was in a particularly porny mood that day and was looking to browse for some when it showed up in the box. Had it not shown up in the box, I'd have passed it by, not because of the porn but because of the HiE.

1210074
that's exactly the opposite of the way the feature box works, really — it's more like the top 40 chart for the radio. it shows what people like at the moment, and is good at making the same type of stuff popular over and over again. that's why we're all surprised when we see a 'good' fic up there (cynicism lololol)

that raises an interesting point though; is there a good means in place to promote 'quality' stories, versus 'popular;' ones? i've talked at length (mostly with other folks in private) about how EQD and Ponyfiction Vault are going to be giving up that role in a while (or already have), and i'm worried that there's nothing there to fill the gap. i'd love dearly to find what it would take to create a good, sustainable platform for showing people all the great pony stories that get written every day... but i'm not sure what it would be, and i'm worried that even if i knew, it might not be doable.

it'll probably be the subject of my next blog post, in any case.

Darf, I do have to say that, once again, you have written something fasterfully! And this time, it was not a story. Instead, you told something from the heart that NEEDED to be said. I do applaud this, good Sir.

As for asking for help, I honestly would not know where to begin when it to comes for asking for help with writing. I DO need help at improving my works, especially when it comes to anything cloppy. (I so very wish I had HALF the clop writing skills of you, Twilightclopple, or Anonymous Pegasus... or many other excellent clop writers out there) Maybe I need to keep reading MOAR clop, and keep trying to write the erotica...

Now... WRITE ME MOAR GOOD READS!!! I have a fresh shame sock, and I need to use it!

1210095
I feel like this could be solved mathematically with ratios somehow. Maybe something like

likes/time since first chapter published
reads/time since first chapter published

with a floor qualifier like 100 reads or 24 hours. A ratio like that would mean older and more read/established fics would pop up less unless they're really solid gold while the floor qualifier would keep the list from just being a bunch of fics with 1 read and 1 like that were just posted. It could even be a fairly simple bit of code.

//UAC = Up and Coming value
//L = likes
//L0 = previous like value
//T = integer time since first chapter published in hours, minimum value 1
//T0 = previous time value
//R = reads

if R>100 && T>24
if L>L0 && T>T0
L0=L;
T0=T;
UAC=L/T;
end
end

1209989
I do have one quick and dirty bit of advice regarding this, though. The variable descent after the climax should never be slower than the buildup before the climax, and usually should be a bit faster. If it takes as long to wrap up the story after the big climax as it did to get there, or worse if it's longer, it tends to feel as though the author's just trying to drag the story out, as though they either don't want their story to end, or they're just trying to pad out the word count.

Demanding a higher bar (read: quality prose and execution) for porn isn't some an egregious standard to hold mature stories against. They should be held to the highest standard, by reason that they're the furthest removed genre from the show. The dissonance between canon ponies (cutesy slice-of-life shenanigans and life lessons) and steamy, lascivious fuck stories is disarming, to put it in minimal terms. It's an outlandish claim, a severe deviation from the norm that requires extraordinary evidence. In this thought exercise, the justification should show in the details of the story's execution: quality of prose, characterization, and pacing, among other things. Honestly, in the rare instances when I actually close the laptop and indulge in some show pastel ponies proper, I meditate on the fact that I willingly and depravingly indulge in stories where these same characters are rutting under flimsy pretenses. Sometimes with quite esoteric and shocking kinks. (If Twilight is an accurate portrait of nerds at large, then the girl's gotta be freaky in the sack).

The distinction between a writer pandering to his audience and paying respect to the art he's bringing to life is most glaring when clopfics are brought to the table. Keystone elements of good storytelling (characterization, prose, reasonability, etc) aren't typically given a second glance when the author knows the story has good odds to land in the feature box, lavishing him with comments, (maybe) praise, and subscribers. It's a quick fix, and it's a damn shame that the elements that wooed us to the show take a back seat when a different, sexier coat of paint is applied to the house.

(Honestly, I reel when I see four or five out of seven of the featured spots are hoisted by shoddy clopfics. It makes me wonder if the readers know which other, more polished stories they're forsaking. Then again, busting a nut doesn't take a dutiful or willful mindset now, does it? I plead guilty to this as well, but I hedge towards something resembling temperance between the two).

Darf, you've earned every single praise and subscriber by merit of the duty and attention you've allotted your stories. It's refreshing to know that the top shelf clopfic writer recognizes that writing ponies in sexy and unfy positions is still writing, and should be respected as such.

(And also, futa still gives any clopfic a times two unf modifier. So more of that, please).

I stopped reading about half-way through.

Not that I think this is stupid

Or that I don't agree with what you're talking about.

It was just the point where I realizes I was listening (reading?) to myself.
I believe you and I are of one mind on these topics. It's the same things that get under my skin a lot. And I feel a good part of it boils down to people being stupid and thinking they know what's best for others, when in reality, in this situation they probably don't even know what's best for themselves.

Well I have to say I agree with this. But in reality people will still write clop some people will pretend to think they are the 'white knights' of the world and some people will always find something they don't like and complain,whine and bitch about... 'tis in most human natures. But oh well, I can care less what people hate; I only care about what I like, and if you like it, awesome and if you don't, it's your right.

I have had long, drawn out conversations over the fact that "it's just fan fiction" is not an excuse for poor quality. The entire reason I write pony fiction is that I love the characters and the world. If I crap out some shlock story with no regards to quality, I am insulting everything that we have gathered here fo celebrate.

darf, brah, you know that I demand quality in my pronz... well, for the most part. I'm not against "quick and dirty" stuff, just against it being in the featured box. But to earn that little gold star from me requires you to have a firm grasp on the craft, tell an engaging story about intimacy. I only us the downvote if: a story is genuinely badly written. That means bad grammar, bad characters, poor concept, and general bad storytelling. Now, sometimes this can mean a well-written story, but one that I feel has failed on some more obscure level. Example would be Eakin's latest story, No Good Answer. The grammar and mechanics were excellent, but the concept was too flawed. You can't just say a character we all love dearly was raped and then leave without any conclusion.

I do my best to help clop authors. I offer mys services as an editor to anyone who wants it, but I find that most of the people who come to me are, in fact., clop authors. Mainly because no one else will do it, because no one else takes the subject seriously. A good sex scene is a good sex scene, it doesn't matter if it's people or ponos.


Although, humanized stories kinda piss me off. The other day I read a story about an aged-up humanized Rumble and Diamond Tiara. So, you have ponies who aren't ponies, and children who aren't children. :rainbowhuh: Why?! The main character being a bitch and having the same name as a pony... does not make it pony fiction! I just don;t get it, if the stories doesn't have ponies, why put it on a pony website? I get that it's a way to get people to read your story, as there really is no other place to get erotic literature online, but still... ponies!!! :derpytongue2:


Anywho, great words, brother. Looking forward to your upcoming work, and remember, I'm but an email away. :twilightsmile:

maybe, in some alternate reality, it might be nice to have a whole separate site for horse-porn? i'm not sure if this is tenable though, or if it's even the best solution

You could make an additional checkbox for Mature+sex once Mature is checked. Not checking that second one would show the Mature stories that those people love so much, without showing the clop. Those people would also check the second box anyway and still downvote all the clop because they have no life.

one of the best blogs i've read in a very long time, all of it is all too true:pinkiehappy:

Daes #39 · Jul 14th, 2013 · · 6 ·

While I don't seek to read such mature stories myself (it might catch my eye if it's humanised and relatively mild though) and I strongly dislike the fact that so many broken people are commited to writing them while they don't even write them well, I do agree with your opinion on the downvotes phenomenon. That kind of behaviour is entirely immature.

I am baffled by the fact that countless fans of the show can so easily and frequently sexualise the characters in their stories (in vile ways, no less) and find such pleasure in corrupting the pony world's innocene. I cannot understand it. And it is unhealthy. It's not just a matter of taste, no. It is unhealthy for the mind, the same way consuming certain foodstuffs is unhealthy for the body. This goes especially for the sort of people who have chosen to only write this genre of stories and no other.



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>I :heart: the fuck out of porn. Not just porn here, not just furry porn, not just bizarro fetish porn, just porn.
>I have my tastes, sure, but I have a wide, wide range of them.
>Ergo, Pornography is a good thing. -> The oh so reasonable conclusion.

Your criteria are so strongly subjective, yet you go as far as accusing others of being sick for not wanting to read (fetishistic) clopfics (see comments on Fluttersmoosh). You have seriously crossed the line here. It reminds me of a certain sentence from the second chapter of Brevity:

She just kind of stood there, like she’d calmed, or maybe tipped far over into mad that she’d come out on the other side, which I suppose is an eventuality in this kind of thing.

This is what happened in your case, except with "sexually perverted"/"indecent" in place of "mad". When such deranged people begin to think that they are the normal ones and accuse the innocent ones of being sick themselves, then yeah, we reach a whole new level of misery... I'm sorry, but somebody had to say this.

Einstein claimed that human stupidity and perhaps the universe have no limits. The same, I add, goes for human perversion. :ajbemused:



As for the three "fuck you" points, I completely agree, escpecially with the third one. SS&E is a shining example, he admitted in a youtube panel that he doesn't read because "It puts me to sleep. And I don't understand how marsupials can do it". These are the words of a man who produces gigantic texts of purple prose. Go figure...:facehoof:

but, at the end of the day, i'm likely alone in wanting porn to be well written.

Not quite. I also reading well-written smut.

if you have more of your own stories in boxes on your user page than other people's: fuck you

While my user page may be shameless self-promotion, I also started the Bronystories Fan Club, which features a list of collaborations I've either helped with or inspired in some way. (Pinkie Pie Sucks A Hundred Dicks is on the list.)

My Fan Club also has a list of my all-time favorite stories. (May the Best Butt Win is on that list.)

Thank you for taking the time to make this blog post.

the funny thing here is... i'm a porn writer in the furry fandom, personally, but i don't think i have the skills to write porn of MLP well. this is due mostly to that MLP famdom is heavily based on the love of the characters, and i really don't have the skill to write them well. so in the interest of not producing below-average clop, i simply choose to enjoy the works of others.

the short of that, i read "clop" but i don't write it xD

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since EQD is dying and the Ponyfiction Vault is soon to close its doors for good...

For me, this is the other critical issue: a fandom only has so long to live before it stagnates and settles into whatever niche it can find to occupy, and that's what this one is finally doing. New and creative content is not streaming in every day anymore; it's trickling in through cracks in the hardened shell of what's comfortable and known, and when it does the fandom at large no longer cares about it. Hunting down needles in that haystack without any support structure behind it (and, if we're honest with ourselves, slim hope of constructing a lasting one at this point) takes a lot of time, and given that none of it's publishable media and all of it's centered around a show I'm really not as passionate about as I used to be, I really had become someone who was here only for the sake of their own ego. Hence, the reason I'm moving on to real fiction, which shouldn't really be in quotes since it's a true statement about the nature of things.

Do what you will and I won't begrudge you for it, but fan fiction wasn't doing much for me anymore, and what it was doing wasn't the kind of thing it should be doing.

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Back that truck up for me here, sugar.

**BEEP BEEP BEEP**

Your criteria are so strongly subjective, yet you go as far as accusing others of being sick for not wanting to read (fetishistic) clopfics (see comments on Fluttersmoosh).

Whoa whoa whoa. Let's get something straight.

I don't accuse people of being sick, except as a joke (or if they're religious! :raritywink:) I resemble the remark too much. If that's not coming through, allow me to clarify here:

I :heart: the fuck out of porn. Not just porn here, not just furry porn, not just bizarro fetish porn, just porn.

That's me saying I love it all, even if some of it's not personally sploosh material for me. For example, I love dairy. Not just yogurt, not just ricotta, not just mozzarrella -- just dairy, the category. One or two things I don't like (Muenster cheese, I will forever consider inedible) but I'm glad it exists because someone eats that shit. (Someone does, right?)

That make sense? I didn't phrase it as best I could, but I'm being inclusive. I love the shit out of some weird fetishes. I'd bet good money I could curl your hair if I picked out a few things from my mental grab bag, or curl your toes if you happened to tell me first what you happen to like. I'm pretty damn equal-opportunity on that front. (Figurative you, hopefully that's obvious.)

When such deranged people begin to think that they are the normal ones and accuse the innocent ones of being sick themselves, then yeah, we reach a whole new level of misery... I'm sorry, but somebody had to say this.

You reach a level of reality.

I'm not going to claim my range of things is superior or inferior to some other person's. I don't need to. But I will heartily claim that pretending there's no room for sexuality to be explored is silly. For as long as there has been human art, there have been images and works that could be used in an erotic fashion, and there have been people eager to pretend those things don't exist, because they think sex is wrong.

Look at the Tijuana bibles. Look at cave fucking art, for fuck's sake. Some of the oldest cave art is about bestiality. Do you think there was an age of consent back then? Do people really believe that Disnified bullshit?

Einstein claimed that human stupidity and perhaps the universe have no limits. The same, I add, goes for human perversion. :ajbemused:

Is that an invitation to test the existence of those limits? :raritywink: :twilightblush:

The difference, IMO, is that stupidity limits you, even if it makes people think you're more "innocent". Perversions, and having them expand your life, connect you to other people. I have rarely felt as closely connected to anyone else as when I am sharing something sexual with them in some way, and I think that's more common than people realize.

Sexuality shapes all living beings, through absence or presence, through commonality or uncommonality. It's a fact. Pretending that fact isn't there doesn't make it go away.

Or maybe I misunderstood. :facehoof: I've gotten . . . eight hours of sleep over the past two days? Something like that. Maybe less. If I got it wrong, mea culpa, etc.

Pretty nice blog, dude. I guess I don't take fanfiction that seriously as you, but in a different type of sense. I write to release stress. Downvotes, upvotes, I don't really care about them. If someone left a comment on my story, that's something I care about. Especially if it's criticism, which I take to mind and remember for improvement in my later stories. For the longest time I was on this site without writing clop. I didn't have one opinion or another about it. But finally I thought "what the hell, might as well as try it". So I did. I'm someone who wants to try their hand at every genre of writing. And if porn is one of them, sure, I'll try it out. And I did have fun with it. I dunno if it's in the sexual mindset (getting turned on by your own writing is a weird experience), but it was just an invigorating experience to write something sexual. So I continued, because it's fun to do. If people have a problem with that, then so be it. I do know you get a lot of hate for writing porn and people flaming on you, but hey, if they have a problem, then ignore them. They'll just continue to be ignorant, I guess. Though I do occasionally get peeved off at clop in the featured box (usually if it's something really explicit or deprived), for your stories I merely shrug and continue on my way. So yeah, keep on doing what you're doing, as long as it makes you happy.

Whoops, sorry for the long rant (though I think if was more of a talk, really). :twilightsheepish:

Encore! ENCORE!

but, at the end of the day, i'm likely alone in wanting porn to be well written

Are you kidding me? The only thing that can get a clopfic more downvotes than an extreme fetish (your scat, snuff and such) is poor grammatical quality. I don't even bother reading stuff that plays to my own particular fetishes if trying to read it is physically painful (though I suppose if I had a pain fetish...). When I have to translate every sentence from a garbled mess that looks like an alien tried to mimic English after speed-reading a pamphlet on it, it kills more than just the mood.

Have to say, this was a nice way to start the morning. Something about "We need to be better" blogs fills my heart with joy.

In any case, (1) I cannot agree more about the often deplorable quality of horse porn. That's the only real reason I get annoyed to see it in the feature box: knowing that the badly-written stuff is holding out things more deserving of attention (at least in my opinion). It's the only reason I ever turn mature viewing off, really. So I can get a look at the non-mature feature box.

(2) I pointed my relatively insignificant following over here, because this is something I think people ought to read, and apparently a bunch of them dig these sorts of meta discussions (given prior response rates on my own blogs). I'll be interested to see what you have to say about helping to promote good stories, even if I feel like I necessarily have to take some exception to the idea that EQD's fanfiction recommendations are dying. 'cause, y'know, kind of invalidates the point of me just having joined their pre-reader ranks, if that's the case. I'm intending to do my best to help EQD be the premier place to find high quality stories, in any case. But I'm always interested to see if there are other good ideas about.

And, of course, one of the nice things about pre-reading for EQD is that now I really am participating collaboratively like you mentioned above. Collaboration is what I see as probably our greatest strength as a fanfiction community, and you're absolutely right that we need more of it.

>this is akin to being a chef but never having eaten your own food
But that's... Ahh! You broke my brain!:derpyderp1::derpyderp2:

Daes #49 · Jul 14th, 2013 · · 6 ·

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You were audacious enough to show off your debauchery before and you are showing off yet again.

I don't accuse people of being sick, except as a joke

You told somebody to seek therapy for avoiding sexually driven narrative (heavily sexual, in that case). Yes, it definitely looked like you were joking.

That's me saying I love it all, even if some of it's not personally sploosh material for me. For example, I love dairy. Not just yogurt, not just ricotta, not just mozzarrella -- just dairy, the category. One or two things I don't like (Muenster cheese, I will forever consider inedible) but I'm glad it exists because someone eats that shit. (Someone does, right?)

That make sense? I didn't phrase it as best I could, but I'm being inclusive. I love the shit out of some weird fetishes. I'd bet good money I could curl your hair if I picked out a few things from my mental grab bag, or curl your toes if you happened to tell me first what you happen to like. I'm pretty damn equal-opportunity on that front. (Figurative you, hopefully that's obvious.)

Well, this is exactly what makes it disturbing. I do not understand how you gain so much delight and pride from claiming something as atrocious as this. Trying to squeeze sexual pleasure out of as several things as possible? Really? How very, very noble of you. Good to know you cater for your higher needs and not succumb to destructive sub-animalistic interests.

I'm not going to claim my range of things is superior or inferior to some other person's. I don't need to. But I will heartily claim that pretending there's no room for sexuality to be explored is silly. For as long as there has been human art, there have been images and works that could be used in an erotic fashion, and there have been people eager to pretend those things don't exist, because they think sex is wrong.

Nobody here said "sex is wrong". This is the statement people like you usually focus on and attack. Sex is a necessary part of life, yes, it is one of the many phenomena subjected to art, yes, but there is a limit to that. Are you telling me that you are not taking it too far? Really? Exploring limitless possibilities where sexual pleasure can be gained from is a sane endeavor? If you are interested in the subject of how humanity and its many cultures perceives/explores sex from an intelligent and academic perspective, then yes. If you do it to expand your sources of sexual pleasure, you are wasting your time and harming yourself in the process.

In this site's case, stories that handle the theme perfectly are Romance Reports or Salvation. These are the kinds stories that challenge the limits by exploring sexuality and romance in a masterful and quite tasteful manner. I repeat, tasteful. Should I repeat that one key word again? :ajbemused: They have nothing to do with shameless, dark, fetishistic (and usually badly written) smut which has absolutely nothing real to offer. There is such a thing as "garbage" to feed the mind with, you know.

The difference, IMO, is that stupidity limits you, even if it makes people think you're more "innocent". Perversions, and having them expand your life, connect you to other people. I have rarely felt as closely connected to anyone else as when I am sharing something sexual with them in some way, and I think that's more common than people realize.

Sexuality shapes all living beings, through absence or presence, through commonality or uncommonality. It's a fact. Pretending that fact isn't there doesn't make it go away.
.

Oh, so people who do not allow perversions to expand their horizons are, in fact, stupid . Great. Sex and all its facets is clearly the one subject humanity should focus on in order to evovle culturally. What's the next thing it offers, spiritual ascension? Do not deify Sex. Sexuality shapes and unites all living beings, it is a part of both you and me, there is no doubt about it. But like all aspects of your being, sexuality is one more sensitive aspect you should handle with consideration and care. There is balance and good measure for everything. If you do not agree with this last statement, you are on a wrong path. On a very wrong path.

Excessivbe indulgence in pornography, a wide range of it especially, can be really harmful. Don't joke with it. Do not fall so low. Be careful before you dumb yourself down beyond measure. There are always consequences. Using the excuse "it's just how I am" is lame and cowardly. When it gets out of control, you need to seek some sort of help. It's for your own good.

As for the last remark, well maybe you should have gotten some rest before replying. It would probably have made for a better debate.

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As for the last remark, well maybe you should have gotten some rest before replying. It would probably have made for a better debate.

Actually, I was giving you the benefit of the doubt. See, usually, if I think someone might be insulting me, I like to make sure they're trying.

You are! :raritystarry:

You told somebody to seek therapy for avoiding sexually driven narrative

I told them to seek therapy because they were insulting an author for writing something that they felt was "unnecessarily sexual". If someone goes out looking for porn in the world, then makes all sorts of harumphing noises because it exists, they have a problem. It will not ever be solved by the world, because porn has always existed; ergo, maybe they should find some inner peace. :twilightsmile:

Nobody here said "sex is wrong".

Actually, you did. Here:

Good to know you cater for your higher needs and not succumb to destructive sub-animalistic interests.

I cater to everything. Nothing is uniformly deep; I learned that a while back. I can try to make everything I do entirely about chasing down intellectual pursuits, or I can accept I'm multifaceted, that I love sex, and that I always have.

GEE.

tasteful

The problem with "tasteful" is that it's subjective. You think, presumably, that Romance Reports is Okey Dokey Lokey. EqD finds it troubling. I'm sure Fred Phelps would shit himself.

It might be a good story. I might even like it. (I haven't read it yet; I'm actually fairly busy with writing and work lately, and running my new group. I am not great with group running.) I haven't read it yet.

I've read sweet romantic stories that worked for me. I've also read degrading trash that worked for me. Would I find both arousing? Depends. It's happened.

The point is not, for me, having to whittle my sexual existence down to something some arbitrary standard will find "tasteful". The point, for me, is enjoying something I love.

I've had to explain quite a few interesting things to doctors. Bruises in areas folks normally don't have bruises in, with unusual shapes; cuts that were made by scalpel blades. I'm also working on two fluffy romances (one on the backburner, one making progress).

In short: Versatility is entirely fucking possible. Why not embrace it? Why pretend there is only what your mother, or my father, or some imaginary Sky Man said there is? It's not true. It's not real. In fiction particularly, there are no fucking limits, nor should there be.

I'm not claiming I am "simply this way". I have taken great pains to be this way. I have made an effort to broaden my horizons. I became this depraved not through sheer talent, but with concentrated effort, and I have always striven for eloquent depravity.

You should try it. It's fun. :raritywink:

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