Five really bad pony jokes · 8:39pm Jun 27th, 2013
I either put these here, or they go in a story. So be grateful.
Here are five of the most terrible puns I can come up with about ponies.
1. Did you hear about the party that Applejack and Rainbow Dash planned? They had to move it away from the windward side of the ash trees to the leeward side. They decided to call it the Ash Lee Ball.
2. Scootaloo was given a box of French butter cookies by Pinkie Pie, but when she saw her again the next day, most of the cookies were still uneaten. "What's the matter?" asked Pinkie. "Didn't you like them?" "The first few were good," Scootaloo replied, "but all too quickly the appeal of the Madeline peters."
3. Rarity heard about a disease affecting cats, so she took Opalescence to the vet. The vet assured her that the illness only affected domestic cats, and so it was irrelevant to a Persian like Opal. Opal didn't seem to understand, so Rarity sat her down and said, "You're not a Tabby. Thus, ain't germane."
4. In the early days of Canterlot, when Celestia needed to keep the lamps burning, she used her magic to mine the caves beneath, not for gems, but for fuel. Unfortunately, one day she fell in a pit, and was scratched quite badly by the anthracite. Still, it was an excellent source of fuel, and she decided to name it after the nicks and cuts she received. Canterlot prospered, since they used the nick coal all over.
5. Apple Bloom tried crusading for her cutie mark by joining one of the crews on The Deadliest Catch. She was set to work measuring the crabs as they came on board the boat, but thought she had to count the claws. Eventually, her boss had to tell her, "Don't worry about the claws, but make sure you never miss shell, crabber!"
Wowwwwwwww... I'm kind of impressed - I mean, you have to be pretty clever to do this - but also...just...
A few years ago, when a friend came over one afternoon to hang out, he started telling me this story about what happened when he was shopping for suits earlier that day. He tried all these different ones on, told the clerk about the event he was going to and asked for his opinion on something appropriate, but he said they had kind of divergent tastes, with the clerk recommending all these things with colored trim in the lapels, and besides, my friend was a broke student, and couldn't afford anything too fancy. A few minutes into the story, he said, "So I told him, 'Can you just give me a really simple suit? A suit without anything added to it that isn't strictly necessary? You know, Occam's Blazer.'"
I asked him if that was inspired by his actually shopping for suits that day and he said no and then we high fived.
1172409
I'm not sure if I got 4 of them or not.
1. It is a pun on "Ashleigh Ball" which you might know of as voice actress for Rainbow Dash and Applejack.
2. No clue...
3. "germane" contains "germ", which is a disease carrier.
4. "nick coal" = "nickel"?
5. It is a pun on "Michelle Creber" which you might know of as voice actress for Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle (singing only).
So many bad puns no offense
1172548 You got the first and last one, so extend the theme.
1172548
They're all VA puns.
Madeline Peters = Scootaloo
Tabby. Thus, ain't germane. = Tabitha St Germain = Rarity
nick coal all over = Nicole Oliver = Celestia
1172591 Ohhh....
1. Ashleigh Ball
2. Madeleine Peters
3. Tabitha St. Germain
4. Nicole Oliver
5. Michelle Creber
1172408 That reminds me of when I told my friend that sometimes, in playing video games, I preferred button-mashing to actual strategy. There ought to be a game where the simplest action is the best. Turns out it already existed, because I'd heard of Occam's Sock-em Robots.
Put them in a story
> Tabby. Thus, ain't germane.
dashie.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/rsz/mlfw2604_small.jpg
> 5. Apple Bloom tried crusading for her cutie mark by joining one of the crews on The Deadliest Catch …
A week later, they moved on to salmon, but no matter how hard she worked Sweetie Belle couldn't land any catch. She asked one of the old salts on the crew for advice.
"How do I haul up a net full of salmon?" she asked.
He sniffed, wiped his nose, and said, "You godda make 'em happy, den dey get in de net."
Her face lit up. "I know! I can tell some jokes!"
He nodded sagely. "Goot start. Den dey laugh."
"And then I can break into song!"
He shook his head. "No, no, no. Den you'll anger 'em."
Ooh, another one:
Q: What's the source of Celestia's knowledge of what happens in Ponyville?
A: Mail arson.
1172725
Okay, that one was pretty good, as were all the name pun jokes.
gs1.wac.edgecastcdn.net/8019B6/data.tumblr.com/tumblr_lnvu0q7LSO1qdda8io1_1280.jpg
I was groaning and laughing at the same time.
My brain is so confused! Why are we being punished?
Those were great.
//dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/sillyfilly_Applebloom.png //dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/sillyfilly_Scootaloo.png //dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/sillyfilly_Sweetie_Belle.png
I have a joke. The Crusaders decide to go find their cutie marks in religion.
I didn't get 1, 2, 4 or 5.
I did kind of get 3, but not by much.