• Member Since 1st Apr, 2012
  • offline last seen Last Thursday

darf


pony-writer/pornographer looking for work. old stories undeleted. i'm sorry. Patreon here

More Blog Posts153

  • 50 weeks
    April Fusser's Day

    The Fussiest Fic There Ever Was

    If you're not aware, I am addicted to fussers (big floppa cats). As such, it is imperative (some might say mandatory) that you read this immensely momentous fussfic authored by the amazing IncredibEE. I seriously cannot recommend it enough.

    Happy April Fusser's day <3

    2 comments · 224 views
  • 57 weeks
    Nothing to sell

    I was going to make a post selling my things but then I realized I have nothing functional left to sell. If you want to buy a broken pair of headphones or an acoustic guitar with a broken string or a piano with half the keys missing let me know.

    Also let me know if you'd like to help me make rent this month.

    Read More

    6 comments · 663 views
  • 86 weeks
    Darfcon 5

    Hello. Today our landlady had a psychotic episode and locked us out along with most of our things. We are on a public starbucks wifi for the next two hours. If you are able to help us with a place to stay the night or other help somehow please message us. That's all for now. Sorry.

    12 comments · 573 views
  • 89 weeks
    L-game

    Thing

    3 comments · 533 views
  • 91 weeks
    commissions

    I need 'em. Stipulations:

    - Pre season 4 canon only
    - Mane six preferred
    - No hyper-exaggerated fetishes (keep within the realm of fictional reality)
    - Max 10k
    - $25USD/1K, max 10k

    Message if you're interested. darf out.

    1 comments · 407 views
Jun
27th
2013

Speech, Speech! · 12:31pm Jun 27th, 2013

okay

so now that i've come down from the temporary euphoria of a long-awaited goal finally being realized (i can't decide if i'm surprised at how anticlimactic it was or not), i'm gonna try to say something more coherent than just yelling.

firstly:
thank you.

i wouldn't be able to feel nearly as self-important as i do right now without every single person on that follow list. i know a lot of you are probably watching me because i gave you something to get off with one time, and that's totally okay; i wouldn't be writing that stuff if i didn't want people to read it. if you see me post something 'serious' that's not to your liking, feel free to ignore it, and hang in there for more smut.

that said:
it's probably obvious i'm getting bored of porn. the only stuff i've managed to write on the subject in the last while has all felt forced, and i'm wondering if that's coming through in the writing itself. even the unfiest unf doesn't feel very titillating to me anymore, and i'm not sure if it's something that will pass.

if that's the case, i may need to take a bit of a break.

i'm not planning on it, and i know that there are a great many people following me because they need 'dem horseporns. with that in mind, i'm gonna work on getting back into the spin of writing sexy stuff, rather than what i've been focusing on lately.

i'll try to fit them both in equal measure.

this brings up some other stuff i've wanted to talk about for a while though.

for one, in terms of high-quality, non-sexual pony fanfiction:
there is an insane amount of it out there. too much to read. it baffles me how Equestria Daily (EQD) seems to struggle to post even a single fanfic on a daily basis when there are amazing gems out there that most people have never even heard of. i have tons of authors on my 'check out later' list that i'm not sure i'll ever get around to.

i think that part of the reason for such amazing writing languishing in obscurity seems to be that EQD is running up against its own boundaries. speaking with the benefit of some word of mouth insight about the stories i've submitted, EQD does not play well with experimentation. that's not to say that every story they post is conventional, boring schlock, but things that seem to really push the boundaries of fanfiction, or fiction in general, get a lukewarm response from the staff—and from readers, which i suppose is part of the reason in the first place.

EQD might never post some of my favorite stories. they might never post some of my stories (including the new one i hope to post in a few days). it's very possible that's just because they don't like them—i'm confident enough in my grammar to submit something and not have it sent back for copy problems, though i can't speak for other folk—or maybe that they're trying to toe an undefined line that has to do more with what people will like than what they should like. maybe they just have mundane tastes. maybe some authors just haven't submitted their stories, despite them being more than good enough. maybe i'm full of myself and all the things i like suck. i'm not purporting to be an objective judge on quality, so take all my bluster with a grain of salt

whatever the case, maybe it's not worth asking about. but the reason i bring it up is because EQD is still (though less so) the largest stage for pony fanfiction to reach a wider audience. with the recent death of the Ponyfiction Vault (dammit), it's pretty much the only place to go to see 'hey look at this it's good read it'. a recent series of blogposts and subsequent discussion involving some of fimfic's ponyfiction illuminati have got me thinking about what makes fanfiction good, why we read it, and what can be done to help expose other people to the really good stuff.

so, to that end: i might not be able to put all the stories i think are amazing on EQD, but i can talk about them here.

there's already a small bar on my user page with quick snippets about some pieces i love, but i'm going to use this space to talk about why they're amazing. it is my simplest, most profound wish that you will give these authors your attention and read their stories. if you're not sold, let me convince you.


Fiddlebottoms feels, to me, like a precious gem i've stumbled on in the morass of this site's unpopular geniuses. everything about his mode of conduct endears me to him, from the between-affected-and-genuine schizophrenic conduct to the subject matter he tackles, and the frequency of his output. i feel like i've been courting him in my head for the past while–but more important than a random literary crush, the message should be that he has stories worth reading. What if Socks Didn't Work Orally? was a story i skimmed through that came back to blow up in my brain a few days later. it oozes personality, and as pointed out by other folks, paints a disturbingly realistic portrait of mental illness. it's arguably not about ponies at all, but it's still damn worth your time. my only wish is that Mr. Bottoms will go on to pervert the themes of our favorite pony-show in more recognizable ways, so that i can enjoy his subversion of friendship and happiness even more.

Horizon has been an invaluable aid in my recent headfirst dive into ponywriting (i've been trawling along in it for a while, but i'm sure you all feel the push from the last little while). while i'm not entirely enamoured of everything he's written, he knows his writing like few people i've had the pleasure of a conversation with, which does reflect in his own stuff. i'm hard pressed to say which of his stories is worth your time, but his poetry has been what i've most enjoyed reading. he's already got a few stories on EQD, so at the risk of casting light onto an already shining gem, go read Melt and his contributions to Pony Verse (1, 2, 3, 4). i'd like to sit him down and make him scribe poetry for me all day, if only because it might force him to write more than he does.

Appleloosan Psychiatrist is an author whose praise i have sung endlessly in the past. i have spent several blogposts explaining why Pink, Blue, and Ivory is one of the most beautiful stories i've encountered in recent memory. AP is the only author on the site to make me full and properly 'unf'. sadly, AP has not been pony-writing much as of late, or anything else. i feel bad, because if i could take even one millionth of the amount of happiness reading PBI or anything else AP has written has given me, and give it back, i feel like things would be better. i don't mean to spin a sudden tale of tragedy, but honestly, it makes me worry. it makes me worry, because if there's no place for a soul that's inspired me more than precious few things on this earth, then i don't know that it's a world i want to live in. to that end, an underappreciated gem from AP's catalogue exists in the form of The Night the Carousel Boutique Burned. it oozes Bradbury, and even if you jump ahead faster than the story does, it's worth rereading a second time to pick up on the nuances woven throughout the narrative. go check it out—and, for god's sake, if you do, leave a nice comment. don't do it for me, but do it if you mean it.

DuncanR is a writer that is probably the dark horse on this list. i'm not following him, which is a decision i waffled on for a while. the thing that made me want to follow him was his story, Erase and Rewind, which blew away every bit of competition in the recent /fic/ write-off, including my own entry. i've been doing those things lately, in case i didn't mention. there's one on right now, if you wanted to go vote. while i can't say anything about DuncanR's catalogue aside his recent masterpiece, this story alone is worth reading more than almost anything else i've encountered in ponyfic. it, like so many other things i enjoy in this community, is written on a professional level, and in the way that makes you sit up, put down everything else you're doing, and say 'damn'. the characters feel real, or at least real in the playful sense we might pretend exists in our dreams. i'm not following him, but you probably should, because that story alone deserves more people to read it than my entire fic library. (also, yes, i know this story is on EQD, but if you look at the views it has and tell me that's enough i'll slap you across the face... or type an angry emoticon at you, i guess, more realistically.)

finally, Mr. V may or may not be an author who needs my praise—anyone who knows their shit on this site already seems to be following him—but, in that regard, i still don't think it's enough. i've been a huge fan of everything he's written, starting from the screencap of Rarity's Assertiveness Training Course i saw on 4chan. what really endeared me to him, however, was his non-sexy story, Sweet Little Lovely. upon reflection of my huge admiration of it, it's likely that i'm over-inflating the importance of what would otherwise be an intriguing period piece; but, on a completely different level, it's still one of the best pieces of ponyfiction i've ever read. everything Mr. V writes is titillating from start to finish, and this story is no exception. if you don't want to read over his library of frustratingly erotic cock-teases, this story is worth your time and then some, and so is everything else he's ever written.

i could probably talk for a hojillion more words about fanfiction in general; i've had thoughts brewing up in my head about it since i finished the final word of my 20,000 word SFW story that still hasn't seen the light of day. i've been thinking about why it is that i like it, why it's worth my time, or anyone else's, and what it will mean when it all dries up and goes away.

i might think about those subjects more at some point. for now, i'm just gonna try to be happy, and keep writing for a while.

thanks everyone for paying attention to me. it's made all this stuff feel worthwhile, in the end.

<3,

darf

Report darf · 1,082 views ·
Comments ( 13 )

I think you're awesome!! Also, it doesn't matter to me if you write something smexy or something serious (like Pieces of a Gray Cloud, which actually introduced me to you). It'll be a good read either way.:pinkiehappy:

You are really good at writing clop. When you write something else, its pretty low tier mediocre. I read non-clop all the time, but compered to other tings I culd read , its kinda boring. Maybe I just don't like the style you write non-clop in. Literature classes have completely ruined some writing styles for me. The garbage you are forced to read there for a grade. Your style feels kinda like that, only more boring.
The clop is awesome tho.

I sometimes wonder why the hell I preread for you. I mean, can I even call it prereading? What the hell do I have to coach you on? You write stories of such depth and meaning far beyond my silly attempts at storytelling. I mean, beyond catching a few grammar derps, what could I possibly correct you on?

The answer is nothing. I just try and mooch off your success, and hang out with someone who is so far above my talent that maybe I can feel better about myself because of the proximity.

Sex of no sex, I look forward to anything else you write.

You are welcome, darf . Good to see your wish fulfilled! :twilightsmile:

I like to believe most of us followers would stick with you no matter what, because you always write really well no matter what you choose to write. I would in fact say that you are one of my favourite authors on the site (and I have barely read your mature stories) along with Amit, Cold in Gardez and DuncanR (I was astounded when I read his fanfic Appletheosis some months ago, as well as when I read his recent hit you mentioned). You four people really know how to think outside the box and craft impressive fiction! :ajsmug:

Also, thanks for the recommendations! Some really interesting stories for perusal. Take it easy and keep up the great work! :pinkiehappy:

I'm on board for good writing. I read your smut because I find something worthwhile there, and the times that I've read your regular stories I haven't regretted or felt like my time was wasted even once.

I really, really appreciate you signal boosting other authors that need attention. I love reading new great stuff and I'm sure they'll love to have their stuff actually read.

words words words words


Just kidding Darf, we love you too.
You twisted horsefucker you.

Funny you should mention your boredom with horseporn showing through your stories, because, and I mean this as friendly as possible, it really does. The imagery is less vivid, the vocabulary smaller, less intense, the sentences more clippy. It's subtle, but yes, I could tell you weren't as excited about writing this stuff anymore.

Taking a break is a fantastic idea. It is the summer, after all- I don't know what stage of life you're in or where you are, but no matter what you should get at least a week off or something. Use that time for yourself.

You're very, very good at listening to us, Mr. Darf. Even if you don't directly reply, you seem to read our comments and critiques and use that knowledge to get to know your fanbase. There are plenty of authors in your position that wouldn't even bother reading the comments. They'd just mark it all as read.

So if you need some time off, do it. We don't control you. :raritywink: Just stay in the hivemind and you shalt believe that for all eternity

I look forward to more words.

Darf, as you may have discovered already, I absolutely adore your creative writing. I've never really read your stories because they were smut, but because I saw that they much more potential. The level of detail put into a simple stage of coitus made me believe that you had the ability to produce great stories such as "Brevity". I'm immensely happy for the accomplishment of yours and I hope that you ascend even further through the ranks of literature on the website. Not only for the sole purpose of writing smut, but for your natural talent to create master pieces.
Sincerely,

Jbug117

Cool bro, i just hope that you have fun writing and reading! and when you get the time i HIGHLY suggest that you look up the author "Nathan Traveler", he's really funny and constantly makes references from pop-culture such as "Back to the Future", "Yoshi", "Bioshock" (i'm pretty sure), "Slenderman", "Sonic", "Doctor Who" (the human, not pony) and many, MANY more, and he's an amazing writer, his fic's are REALLY good and i don't believe that he is appreciated enough, so if you can look him up do so, you won't be dissapointed!

Hee hee titillating:pinkiehappy:

Honored at the mention! The respect over poetry is quite definitely mutual, and as always I appreciate the Melt plug, since it's the story I most feel deserves more attention than it got. Prosewise, you're definitely (objectively!) a master of your craft, and I love your experimentations and the ideas of your writing … though, honestly, I think our default prose styles and preferences are a bit at odds, which might be part of why I'm able to offer what decent prereading tips I do, and why my stuff hasn't really caught you. For my own stories, I guess I'll just have to keep writing until I stumble into doing something you enjoy as much as my poetry. :twilightsmile:

The rest of your list is solid too. I'm amused that we've both singled out "Socks…Orally" for featuring on our homepage. AP's stuff swings and hits hard. DuncanR is atop my to-read list when I get a few minutes; you're not the first to mention Erase And Rewind. This is the first I've heard of Mr V (probably mostly since I don't have as much exposure to the clop side of things as you do) but given the quality of the others I'll have to browse the back catalogue.

And, again, seriously, congrats on the milestone. That new feeling of liberation is well earned.

Spacecowboy
Moderator

Tired of porn, hey?
This means we might be able to expect some other non-clop from you? Only reason I take a peek at your userpage on occasion, to see if you've expanded your horizons yet.

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