Dismantling the Morning: Part 1 · 1:00am Jun 5th, 2013
so, i had an idea in my head, given my recent study of Ulysses, that it might be fun to break apart my recent story inspired by Joyce and his masterpieces – partly to explain the influences milling around in there, and maybe also to help people understand why the story is written the way it is. i don't have the depth of reference in my work that Joyce did – probably not even one thousandth of that depth – but i could do well to extrapolate on the vocabulary and phrasing at least, and maybe give people some insight into what went into the story's composition.
i'll do one for now, and i guess if people let me know they'd like to see more, i can unpack some further parts of the story.
anyway, with that said, here's a take on the opening section of 'Alectrona' (fancy greek title aside)
it's hard to start anywhere with an approach to explaining this piece, as there's so much of it that came together in a single envisioning... but, as it's the first thing to note about the story, i suppose i should explain the title first.
'Alectrona', or the Greek-alphabet transliterated Αλεcτρονα (someone has pointed out that 'c' doesn't belong, but there it shall remain for now) is a name i found after some decently long scouring of Greek mythology. like Ulysses, i wanted the title of the story to be indicative of its contents (though one could argue a day in the morning of is a snapshot of Ulysses in the first place) – i also wanted it to have meaning in the fashion that Joyce's title had, brimming with mythological importance and allusion. i couldn't find any famous Greek or Roman literary works about waking up for coffee, which was just as well, because i wanted to emulate Joyce, not copy him. to that end, i settled on the Doric form (lesser known ancient dialect, which is in itself a delightful layer of obscurity) of a lesser known Greek goddess of mornings, and the sense of waking. there's no better encapsulation of the sense meant to permeate the story than 'the sense of waking' – so, while the title itself didn't gel with me at first, it's kind of grown in its appeal over time.
it's worth noting that while Twilight is spared the title of 'goddess' or 'princess' in this story, there are additional mythological considerations when we consider the position in the cycle of the day amidst the night and sun – specifically, i suppose that would mean Celestia would fit the story's namesake best, though there's a degree of ambiguity there. Alectrona was referenced in different materials to be one of a trio of goddesses, so here we have layers upon layers.
secondly, and this is just as an aside, i want to say that the whole experience of writing this story was a bit weird, as it's one of the only times i've written anything pony related by hand. i felt like a bit of a dork sitting in a coffee shop with the fountain pen AP got me, but it definitely put me in the right headspace to pretend i was Joyce in the heart of Trieste.
anyway. let's look at the first paragraph.
A form at fall — a fitting wake — a format for waking in good form. Aspirational astringencies and vestiges of overnight mindseye emulsification. Clouded head rest in bed-rest until waking and unobfuscation emergent in contemplation from a valley fog. Sheets shifted in the night, like a coil of serpent’s wings.
okay. so right off the bat, i need to address something i do a lot in this story. specifically, the dual (sometimes triple) meaning of the word 'wake'. if it's not obvious, this was inspired in no small part by Joyce's use of it in Finnegans Wake – it's a word i think is wonderful, and i carried it through this story kind of like a cross. in short, the meanings i played with here were:
- the act of arising from sleep
- the Irish ceremony to commemorate the passing of life
- the path or remnants of something as it moves ('left in the trail of his wake', etc.)the first two meanings seem to fight against each other in a wonderful paradoxical fashion. Twilight is waking up in this paragraph, but she's also commemorating the passing of another day past – of herself and her thoughts and dreams as they flit away – of her composite personality as she breaches into a new day – i could go on and on about how much this word fits, but it's used over and over again, and as long as you're aware of the different meanings, it has enough weight already. there's just always more to read into it.
in addition to that specific word, the opening and ending sections are, in their own ways, emulations and homages of the opening and ending of Finnegans Wake, Ulysses, and The Dead – i'd have more to say about the ending later, but basically, it communicates the idea of a looping, circular entity, and also the flow of the language seeking to emulate the catharsis of passing to or from unconsciousness. the whole world comes anew when we awake, and our selves with it. the opening sentence in particular is just some word play on my part, focusing on the act of pulling words apart and putting them together in different ways, again an homage to Finnegans Wake, and something i play with more later.
the next sentence dives into the vocabulary i was talking about earlier. i used a deliberately dense lexicon throughout the piece, though pulled back in some sections, to evoke two things: the process of Twilight's thought and perception, and the obtuse phrasing and elegance of Joyce's verbosity in Ulysses. just as in chapters one to three of Ulysses, where we can assume the thought process of Stephen Dedalus isn't exactly as inscrutable as Joyce makes it out to be, Twilight's is an amalgamation of emphasis on multisyllabic synonyms and a feeling of her brain always reaching for the most complicated way to describe something. while she's very studied, she's often forgetful, so the references aren't nearly as dense as Stephen's, who's had a whole education rich with cultural study and ancient history. Twilight's learning is more technical, and so are her thoughts (though this is also partly an excuse on my part for not being able to make a story about ponies as referential as Ulysses).
the following snippets (and a few) are basically a deconstruction of dreams. 'aspirational astringencies', with an 'aspiration' being a goal, or a success to seek, and 'astringencies' being a neologism (which i use a fair few of) of 'astringent', with a double meaning between the medical term to 'pull together', and the more regularly used form, 'sharp or piercing'. basically, i'm saying that dreams are a mishmash of thoughts, hopes, pulling together and puncturing reality with their nature, as compounded on further in the next set; 'mindseye emulsification', meaning things seen in the haze of unconsciousness, floating and suspended in a dream but unable to mix with our perception of what is real. i also combined 'mind's eye' into a singular word, which is something that Joyce did frequently, and i've done where the sound or words felt appropriate.
the further word usage doesn't contain a great deal of additional meaning — just repeating the notion of waking, saying that the cloud of unconsciousness passes when opening eyes, analogizing the suspension of understanding in sleep to a haze or fog directly. and the last sentence, as pointed at subtly by Horizon in a conversation elsewhere, is a slight reference to Twilight's coming deification – this story is set pre-alicornhood, and as a result carries a great more weight to Twilight’s thoughts on immortality and ascension when we realize she's going to be thrust face first into discovering those answers herself.
it's also worth noting that in the first paragraph, and greatly throughout the rest of the text, the phrasing is designed to be as poetic as possible; there are half-rhymes and alliteration packed everywhere i could fit them, which is more a 'me' thing than it is a 'Joyce' thing. not that he wasn't a gifted poetic prose-writer in his own right.
i didn't realize it would take me so long to break apart that particular section, so i'll probably leave it here for now. if people would like to see more of this, especially giving a chance to discuss the themes and allusions later in the story, rather than just the vocabulary and word choice (as well as the nature of the story's composition), let me know and i'll extrapolate on another few bits later in the week.
let me know what you think, or if you think i'm just being a complete navel-gazing toolbox by dismantling my own story in the hopes that it'll make me look like i knew what i was doing.
That was quite deep. You seem to know your shit.
I wouldn't mind seeing more like this, actually.
~Skeeter The Lurker
I don't think it's a bad thing to take apart a story and look at where the nuts and bolts go. I will say, however, that a lot of pure readers won't get much out of it.
Other writers will probably lap it up. I'm finding it interesting, at least.
I'd love more of this. It's much easier to read than the actual story, and there aren't going to be any literature teachers taking apart ponefiction any time soon.
You might not agree to this, but I would really try and find someone to do a reading of this story. It would make for a very different experience as oppose to simply reading it, though after seeing these explanations, I feel like reading that story again.
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Aquaman has said he might tackle it at some point, which i'd love. i'll have to pester him about it later.
No way, I've just barely finished learning about Ulysses in English! Mare, we did so much on him; packets, books, tests, quizzes! Ulysses story was a nice one indeed!
I'd like to see some more
navel-gazingdeconstruction of this story. Please do! Knowing more about the mechanics of this would be interesting.I don't know how far you're willing to go with it, but I wouldn't mind clarifying (among other things) Twilight's motivations for some of her actions, as well as the judgements that seem to be laid on her by the narrative. Some of it is still unclear to me, but I will read it again soon and try for a better understanding.
I quite like the idea of trying to explain ones works to the audience, not only because it makes the audience more interested, but because you find out so much about your own work and process that you didn't really reflect on or did intuitively when creating. At least that happens a lot for me with my music.
Does that happen to you too, doing this, or was this such a thought-through and deliberate piece that you've already thought of all these things beforehand?
I think you chose well by deciding to clarify the story's elements for us. Profound as it is, most readers would have trouble decoding it and frankly this clarification does show that you knew exactly what you were doing. It will make the story seem more approachable and will also make it easier for readers to appreciate any similar future endeavours of yours.
I say yes, you should elaborate further, dissecting the story in sufficient detail. Doing it blog post by blog post will also help the readers digest the information step by step!
On one hand, the dismantling will show just how much effort and thought went into the piece, and allow you to explain why you chose to do what you did. This may give people an insight into how you write and at least a small percentage of fics on this site could be better for it in the big picture.
On the other hand, ruthlessly explaining everything treats the audience like a small child incapable of interpereting the text. It takes a bit of the fun out of the discussions. Although, from what I see here, your explanations are merely mechanical, and thus still allow there to be a degree of different interperetation. It's more clarification than explanation.
I'd continue, but tread carefully.
I disagree with the upside-down badgerpony. Don't worry about patronizing us; don't tread carefully. I'd like to see more of your mindseye emulsification. The only thing I'm afraid of is coming to like Finnegan's Wake.