Stories18

  • E A Hell of a Time

    The princesses gave their magic to Twilight to prevent Tirek from stealing it. As a result, they end up stuck in Tartarus. The fact that things manage to go downhill here says a lot about the wonders of family.
    4,444 words · 12,216 views  ·  2,069  ·  26
  • E Daring DONE!

    Rainbow Dash finds out that Twilight's mom is the author of the Daring Do saga. Things escalate quickly from there.
    5,538 words · 13,087 views  ·  2,436  ·  39
  • E Twilight DONE!

    Twilight needs to rule Equestria for a whole week. There's no way this can go wrong.
    3,873 words · 7,201 views  ·  1,223  ·  20
  • T Born On A Rock Farm

    Inkie Pie was, without any kind of doubt, the most influential musician that ever lived. Born on a rock farm, her strange life would serve as both inspiration and cause for her songs. This is her story.
    10,222 words · 1,419 views  ·  250  ·  2
  • T Wine And Toothpaste

    Beer tastes bad, Whiskey is just horrible, and Colgate does not like drinking. This is the story of how Colgate met Berry Punch for the first time, and how she saw a bartender who was clearly a ninja. Side story to Long Story Short, Things Went Down
    4,946 words · 1,207 views  ·  147  ·  1
  • E Family Matters

    Siblings are weird. Twilight, Applejack and Rarity talk about how weird theirs are.
    3,464 words · 2,417 views  ·  374  ·  7
  • E Shining DONE!

    The day of Shining Armor and Cadance's wedding anniversary is coming. Shining Armor, wants to give his wife a truly exceptional present, so he asks the Royal Guard of Canterlot for help. Things get very out of hoof from there.
    8,846 words · 3,788 views  ·  601  ·  14
  • T Today is a Good Day to Die

    One night, just like that, Celestia realizes she's going to die in less than twenty-four hours.
    9,126 words · 10,163 views  ·  1,038  ·  35

More Blog Posts92

  • Saturday
    Birthday, so new story

    Today I turn twenty years old, so here you have a brand new story. Comedy, two-parter, over 10k words written in one go!

    Night Light and Cadance, let's see what you think. It's already submitted, chapter two will be posted in a couple days.

    I hope you like it!

    10 comments · 82 views
  • 1w, 1d
    The End Of An Era

    21 comments · 267 views
  • 2w, 8h
    Octavia Harmony, Selbi, Lucky Roll, Present Perfect, Chris, Singularity Dream, SuperTrampoline, and Eight Hundred Followers!

    Chat Number One

    Aragón: Oh, hey

    Aragón: 800 followers!

    Octavia Harmony: You should write a blog post.

    Octavia Harmony: To celebrate.

    Aragón: That sounds like an idea

    Aragón: But I don’t know what to write

    Octavia Harmony: Something funny?

    Aragón: Yeah but what

    Aragón: Like, I have no idea

    Aragón: I’ll go ask Selbi

    Chat Number Two

    Selbi: Post nude pics.

    Aragón: I don’t believe that would be tasteful

    Selbi: Who cares about taste

    Selbi: Give us some sugar

    Aragón: I was thinking about something like a joke, not a pic of my fabulous genitals, thank you

    Selbi: Okay, first of all

    Selbi: I’ve seen your genitals

    Selbi: And, fuck, you’re absolutely right

    Selbi: They’re fabulous

    Selbi: Share that gift with the world

    Chat Number One

    Octavia Harmony: He’s kind of right, actually.

    Octavia Harmony: A tasteful picture of you posing nude would be an amazing way to commemorate your 800 followers thing.

    Octavia Harmony: Don’t forget to show your genitals, tho.

    Octavia Harmony: They’re absolutely fantastic.

    Aragón: …Wait, how do you know I made that joke with Selbi?

    Octavia Harmony: What joke?

    Octavia Harmony: I’m talking about your nether regions.

    Octavia Harmony: Selbi showed them to me.

    Aragón: …

    Aragón: …

    Aragón: …

    Aragón: What.

    Chat Number Two

    Aragón: WHAT THE EVERLOVING HELL

    Aragón: YOU REALLY HAVE PICTURES OF ME NAKED?!

    Selbi: Yes.

    Selbi: You want some?

    Selbi: Just kidding I’m not gonna share them.

    Aragón: I THOUGHT YOU WERE JOKING

    Selbi: Why would I joke about your genitals.

    Aragón: HOW THE HELL DID YOU EVEN GET THOSE

    Selbi: What.

    Selbi: Your genitals?

    Aragón: THE PHOTOGRAPHS YOU MINDLESS POTATO

    Selbi: Well, do you remember how you stayed at my place for a whole week this summer?

    Selbi: I have cameras.

    Selbi: And you like to sleep naked.

    Aragón: GODDAMMIT

    Selbi: Do the math.

    Selbi: Not like I complain tho.

    Selbi: I would sleep naked if I were you too.

    Selbi: I mean, dayum, son.

    Aragón: THAT IS SO ILLEGAL I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO SAY

    Selbi: Hey what if I am the one posting pictures of you naked in a blog? That would be funny.

    Aragón: NO

    Chat Number One

    Octavia Harmony: I’m not going to lie to you: that WOULD be funny.

    Octavia Harmony: And you don’t even need to post a blog if he does that.

    Octavia Harmony: Everybody will be too busy staring at your mighty buttocks to care about your followers count.

    Octavia Harmony: I mean

    Octavia Harmony: Dayum, son.

    Aragón: WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME, TAY

    Octavia Harmony: Because dayum son.

    Chat Number Three

    Aragón: THEY’RE TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT

    Aragón: AND MY FRONT BUTT

    Aragón: AND SELBI SAYS HE’S GOING TO POST PICTURES

    Aragón: WHAT DO I DO

    Lucky Roll: what the hell is a front butt

    Lucky Roll: are you implying you have a butt on your face

    Lucky Roll: because that’s actually pretty sexy

    Lucky Roll: are you doing anything this Saturday

    Aragón: LUCKY THIS IS SERIOUS

    Lucky Roll: I’m serious too

    Aragón: MY PRIVACY IS IN DANGER

    Lucky Roll: dude just let Selbi do whatever he wants

    Lucky Roll: what’s the worst that could happen

    Aragón: WE WOULD ALL DIE

    Lucky Roll: what

    Lucky Roll: like, we all explode?

    Lucky Roll: for looking at pictures of you?

    Lucky Roll: what are you, the lost ark of indiana jones?

    Aragón: It’s called the Ark of the Covenant

    Aragón: BUT THAT’S NOT IMPORTANT

    Aragón: DUDE SAY SOMETHING

    Aragón: SELBI IS SERIOUSLY ATTACKING ME RIGHT NOW

    Chat Number Four

    Lucky Roll: yo selbi

    Selbi: What.

    Lucky Roll: good job

    Selbi: Thanks.

    Chat Number Three

    Lucky Roll: well I tried everything I could and I failed

    Lucky Roll: just like your mom

    Lucky Roll: when she raised you

    Lucky Roll: hahah

    Lucky Roll: I’m so funny

    Lucky Roll: anyway you’re screwed bro

    Aragón: GODDAMMIT

    Chat Number Five

    Aragón: PRESENT PERFECT

    Aragón: SELBI IS BEING A PERV AGAIN

    Aragón: AND HE SAYS HE’S GONNA POST NUDE PICS OF ME

    PresentPerfect: How the everloving fuck are you even talking to me.

    PresentPerfect: Who are you.

    PresentPerfect: And most important, why do you think I care.

    Aragón: BECAUSE SELBI IS BEING MEAN

    PresentPerfect: How did you get my skype.

    Aragón: I’M ARAGÓN I REALLY LIKE YOUR REVIEWS PLEASE HELP ME

    PresentPerfect: Wait a second.

    PresentPerfect: Aragón?

    PresentPerfect: The nude guy?

    PresentPerfect: Holy crap.

    Chat Number Six

    PresentPerfect: Dude.

    PresentPerfect: The moment you post that stuff, send me a link.

    PresentPerfect: That guys’ buttocks are amazing.

    Selbi: I know, right?

    Chat Number Five

    PresentPerfect: Yeah not helping you. Go away.

    Aragón: GODDAMMIT

    Chat Number Eight

    Aragón: SUPERTRAMPOLINE

    Aragón: MY DEAR FRIEND

    Aragón: I NEED YOUR HELP

    SuperTrampoline: I hate you so much I wish I could go back in time to abort you and then kick you while in fetus form and then feed you to my cat.

    Aragón: Woah holy crap okay sorry

    SuperTrampoline: Yeah, run away.

    SuperTrampoline: You fucking disgrace.

    Chat Number Five

    Aragón: Woah, SuperTrampoline has issues, man

    PresentPerfect: Okay why the hell are you still talking to me.

    Aragón: BECAUSE I LOVE YOU

    PresentPerfect: Oh my fuck.

    Chat Number Nine

    Aragón: CHRIS

    Chris: No.

    Aragón: GODDAMMIT

    Chat Number Ten

    Aragón: I NEED HELP WITH SELBI

    SingularityDream: Oh?

    Aragón: HE WANTS TO POST NUDE PICS

    SingularityDream: Who are you again?

    Aragón: ARAGÓN

    Aragón: YOU KNOW

    Aragón: THE FUNNY GUY

    SingularityDream: Never heard of it.

    Aragón: AUTHOR OF A COUPLE STORIES THAT HAVE BEEN IN THE FEATURED BOX

    SingularityDream: I honestly don’t know who you are.

    Aragón: Sigh.

    Aragón: The guy who farted so hard he cried in that Christmas party

    SingularityDream: Oh.

    SingularityDream: …

    SingularityDream: Yeah this conversation was better when I didn’t know who you are.

    Chat Number One

    Aragón: NOBODY IS HELPING ME

    Aragón: WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE

    Octavia Harmony: I don’t remember you having basilisk eyes for genitals.

    Aragón: GODAMMIT TAY IT’S A FIGURE OF SPEECH

    Octavia Harmony: Hey, you called me “Tay”.

    Octavia Harmony: That’s so cute.

    Chat Number Two

    Aragón: SELBI I’LL DO WHATEVER YOU WANT BUT PLEASE DON’T POST THOSE PICS

    Selbi: You do realize I posted those, like, fucking forever ago, right?

    Aragón: …

    Aragón: GODDAMMIT

    Chat Number Eight

    SuperTrampoline: Okay I’ll tell you this:

    SuperTrampoline: You’re one sexy motherfucker.

    SuperTrampoline: Still a motherfucker, though.

    SuperTrampoline: Goddammit I hate you so much.

    Aragón: I’LL NEVER GET MARRIED NOW

    SuperTrampoline: Also are those basilisk eyes in your tights, or it’s just me?

    Chat Number One

    Octavia Harmony: Well, at least the photos are artistic.

    Aragón: DON’T LOOK AT THEM

    Octavia Harmony: Uh. Too late. I’m getting the third one tattooed on my back.

    Chat Number Three

    Lucky Roll: wow

    Lucky Roll: say it’s not gay if I say no homo right

    Aragón: MY LIFE IS RUINED

    Lucky Roll: exactly

    Aragón: SELBI COMMITED AN INTERNATIONAL CRIME WITH THIS

    Lucky Roll: honestly I doubt anybody’s going to care about it

    Lucky Roll: I mean

    Lucky Roll: everybody is too busy staring at your ass

    Aragón: I’LL NEVER BE ABLE TO LOOK AT MYSELF IN THE MIRROR AGAIN

    Lucky Roll: also is that a tattoo of the lost ark on your right buttcheek

    Lucky Roll: what the hell is wrong with you man






















    Chat Number Nine

    Chris: Hey.

    Chris: Now that I think about it…

    Chris: He never made a blog post for his followers.

    Chris: Man, what a horrible human being.

    Chris: …

    Chris: …

    Chris: …

    Chris: Dayum, son, though.

    28 comments · 234 views
  • 3w, 6d
    Weird Lollipop, Ends with a Lame Twist

    “Dear Celestia, this week has been tiring.”

    “Eeeyup.”

    “At least it’s over now.” Cheerilee played absent-mindedly with the straw on her drink and sighed. “I can’t believe how weird it’s been, you know? I mean, for crying out loud, even Discord got involved, and it was by far the simplest part of the whole week.” She snorted. “Go figure.”

    “…Discord?”

    Silence.

    Something in Big Mac’s voice forced Cheerilee to raise her eyes and look at him.

    They were at Sugarcube Corner, of course—it was the de-facto place to go on a date on Ponyville, if only because there were literally no other pubs to go. With all the princesses and Elements of Harmony and Everfree Forests and whatnot it was easy to forget that, from a purely objective point of view, Ponyville was quite the lame town. Lame enough to have only one pub, and that pub also worked as a bakery, because when Ponyville went lame it went all the way through.

    “Roll that by me again?” she said, looking right into Big Mac’s eyes. “Please?”

    “Hmmm.” Big Mac looked away.  “…Nope.”

    “You know, even if your coat is red, I can tell if you’re flustered.” Cheerilee pointed at his face. “You’re doing the eyelids thing.”

    “Ah’m not doing anythin’.”

    “Whenever you get embarrased, you flutter your eyelids.” Cheerilee batted her eyelids with her best Rarity impersonation. “See? Like this. Only more feminine.”

    “Ah—That’s—” Big Mac coughed. “That’s not true.”

    “You’re doing it again.”

    “Ah’m not!”

    “Hmm.” Cheerilee tried to hide her smirk as she took a sip of her drink through the straw. “You know, for a second there you sounded mad.”

    “Ah’m not mad.”

    “I know you aren’t. But you sounded like you don’t like Discord at all.” Cheerilee got closer to the table and poked Big Mac’s muzzle with a hoof. “And now you’re flustered.”

    Big Mac sighed and took another gulp of his cider. Cheerilee saw how his shoulders dropped down a little. “Ah don’t like Discord.”

    “I already guessed so,” Cheerilee said. Then she bit her lip. “That’s… unusual.”

    Big Mac frowned.

    “I mean, don’t get me wrong. You’re allowed not to like ponies. Or, um, draconequus. It’s just…” Cheerilee put her lips around the straw and took a little sip. “You’re pretty good at hiding that kind of thing.”

    Big Mac smirked. “Ah have a good poker face.”

    “Talking to you is similar to talking to a wall now and then, yes.”

    “Uh.”

    “A very charismatic wall, don’t get me wrong.”

    “Uh-huh.”

    They stood in silence for a couple minutes, only disturbed by the rest of Sugarcube Corner’s clientele, both Cheerilee and Big Mac doing nothing but drink their drinks and enjoying each other’s company.

    And then, surprisingly enough, Big Mac was the one who broke said silence, coughing in a somewhat awkward way. “He… he turned me into a dog,” he said.

    Cheerilee blinked.

    “Roll that by me again?”

    “Discord,” Big Mac explained. He was avoiding her eyes, and his eyelids were batting like crazy. Cheerilee was surprised he wasn’t flying away like a very strange pegasus. “He, hm, turned me into a dog. When he attacked. Before my sis n’ her friends turned him to stone again.”

    “A… A dog?”

    Big Mac sighed, still looking to the side. “Eeyup.”

    “He turned you into a dog.”

    “That’s what Ah said.”

    Cheerilee squinted. “Like, with fur and…?”

    “What? No!” Big Mac bit his lip. His eyelids reminded Cheerilee of a hummingbird’s wings. “He, um, made me act like a dog.” He sighed, and finally looked at Cheerilee with a mortified expression. “Barking, digging for bones…” His words turned to an undecipherable mumble.

    “Care to repeat the last part?”

    “Ah… licked some ponies’ faces,” Big Mac said. “Apparently, Ah’m a very friendly dog.”

    Silence.

    “You… You licked ponies’ faces.”

    “Eeeyup.”

    “Like, you licked-licked their faces.”

    “You’re implyin’ there are more than one way to lick a face.”

    “I mean, with your mouth?!”

    “Mostly their cheeks.” Big Mac coughed. “Sometimes, um, the whole face. Ah had to apologize to Twilight afterwards.”

    “…Oh.” Cheerilee lowered her gaze to her drink. “I… didn’t know you turned into a dog.”

    “Hm.”

    Silence.

    Cheerilee made a little pout. “…You’ve never licked my face.”

    “Eeyu—what?” Big Mac frowned. “Wait a minute. What?”

    “I-I mean, it’s not like… I’m just saying!” Cheerilee raised both her front hooves in front of her face, red crepting to her face. “I just was, I mean, well…!” She bit her lip. “Well, you’ve never done that!”

    “Ah’ve never—Why would Ah do such a thing?!

    I don’t know!

    “Ah don’t go around licking ponies’ faces!”

    “Yeah, well, now you don’t, apparently!” Cheerilee licked her lips, still looking at her drink. “I mean, nothing wrong with that, I guess, it’s just—”

    “Ah don’t even like licking faces!” Big Mac said, his voice a little louder than usual. “That’s what dogs do!”

    “Yes, yes, I got that!” Cheerilee huffed. “Geez. I was just, you know, pointing that out!”

    Big Mac massaged his forehead with a hoof. “You were pointin’ out that Ah’ve never licked your face like a dog.”

    “It’s not like it’s not a lie!”

    Why would Ah lick your face on the first place?!

    “Well, it’s not like you have to do that, now!” Cheerilee said, crossing her legs. “You don’t need to bother anymore!”

    “Wait, you want me to lick your face?!”

    “What?! No!” Cheerilee snorted. “Why would I want that?! That’s dumb. I mean, it’s just, that, well.” She coughed. Her cheeks were completely pink by now. “If you just happened to lick my face, that would be… Well, I like dogs!”

    “Ah’m not a dog!”

    “But you were!

    Big Mac grunted something that Cheerilee, again, didn’t catch, and pressed his hoof against his forehead. “Ah really don’t like Discord.”

    “Hmph.” Cheerilee lowered her eyes back at her drink once more, and took a sip through the straw. “He wasn’t that bad.”

    Silence.

    “…Why did you need to talk with him?” Big Mac finally asked, once his eyelids stopped moving on their own, his voice calm and low again.

    “Oh, well. Sweetie Belle accidentally turned the entire class into stone.”

    “Oh.”

    “And then she broke them.” Cheerilee rolled her eyes. “She’s an amazing filly, but really, thank Celestia she’s pretty.”

    Big Mac arched an eyebrow.

    “Yeah.” Cheerilee shrugged. “It’s a long story. I had to look for him, and ask Twilight about it, and… Overall? Crazy week.”

    “Ah’m sure Ah’ll love to hear all about it,” Big Mac said, getting up, “but first Ah need to go to the bathroom, if you don’t mind.”

    “Oh, of course I don’t.” Cheerilee waved a hoof at him. “Go, go, go. I don’t want you to interrupt me in the middle of my story later.”

    He chuckled, and then walked away. Cheerilee followed him with her gaze until he disappeared, and then raised her hoof and looked at the . “Um, excuse me? Pinkie Pie? Are you the—”

    “Yes?”

    Cheerilee blinked at the pink pony, who wasn’t there a second ago. “Uh. How did you—?”

    “I like to hide under tables and spy our customers!”

    Silence.

    “What the—”

    “Yeah, I’m a creep.” Pinkie Pie shot her a grin. “What did you want?”

    “Uh.” Cheerile blinked. “Uh… Ah. Yes. Flutterrshy is friends with Discord now, right?”

    “Yes indeedily!”

    “Do you think Fluttershy would help me get Discord to turn somepony into a dog if I asked?”

    Pinkie frowned. “Uh. I guess?”

    Cheerilee nodded. “Good.” Then she took a sip of her drink. “Good.”

    Silence.

    "So, um, are the foals okay?"

    "Twist is missing a leg, but I honestly don't think anypony's going to notice. She's not the most popular foal in town."

    "Who the hay is Twist."

    "My thoughts exactly."

    16 comments · 210 views
  • 4w, 14h
    Yo, people. Strangely enough, this blog post doesn't include ramblings about mimes or crap like that.

    So!  Today I've finished the fifth chapter of my current project, that heist fic I'm always talkinga bout. You know the one. In case you don't know it, it's, uh, well. A heist fanfic. That kind of gives you all the info you need.

    In case you want more details: it's an adventure and also a comedy (I know, I know. Me, writing a comedy? That's impossible!), and it's also a multi-chapter thing. It's been a while since I wrote anything that wasn't a one-shot, so I'm kind of happy about it! However, seeing how I plan on writing everything before posting a single line here in fimfic, that means I'm not really getting any feedback on it. I'm fairly sure it doesn't suck, but hey, maybe the This-Story-Suck-Fairies visited me on my sleep and I didn't notice. There's no real way to know.

    This is where you guys enter the picture! I would really like to have some prereaders to help me with the story. Have in mind that I wrote prereaders -- I already have proofreaders, so this would be exclusively an opinion thing. So if you think you're good with reviews or stuff like pointing how bad a story is, and most importantly, why that story is bad the way it is, I would really like your help!

    However, my personal secretary tells me I should probably ask for some kind of portfolio or proof that you are, in fact, good at prereading. As in, I'm not asking for any random guy to tell me something like "yeah cool story brah gg". I'm asking for actual advice here. So, like, I want you to say "yeah cool story brah gg" but with more words. And, like, complicated words. Y'know. Be fancy. That would be awesome.

    That's it! Sorry for the short blog post. And thank you! Now, Aragón out. Peace.

    8 comments · 119 views
Apr
27th
2013

Well, for some reason it's just not advancing the approval queue. It's been there for more than 48 hours now, so... Huh. It's not being denied, it's just that it hasn't been seen yet.

So, eh, I'm going to post the link here, just in case someone wants to, you know, read it. It should go up someday, but till then, I don't want the few readers I have to wait too much.

So, here you go!

LINK TO THE STORY

Aragon · 55 views · Report
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