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Stories18

  • E A Hell of a Time

    The princesses gave their magic to Twilight to prevent Tirek from stealing it. As a result, they end up stuck in Tartarus. The fact that things manage to go downhill here says a lot about the wonders of family.
    4,444 words · 13,023 views  ·  2,135  ·  28
  • E Daring DONE!

    Rainbow Dash finds out that Twilight's mom is the author of the Daring Do saga. Things escalate quickly from there.
    5,538 words · 13,272 views  ·  2,447  ·  39
  • E Twilight DONE!

    Twilight needs to rule Equestria for a whole week. There's no way this can go wrong.
    3,873 words · 7,355 views  ·  1,234  ·  20
  • T Born On A Rock Farm

    Inkie Pie was, without any kind of doubt, the most influential musician that ever lived. Born on a rock farm, her strange life would serve as both inspiration and cause for her songs. This is her story.
    10,222 words · 1,456 views  ·  257  ·  2
  • E Family Matters

    Siblings are weird. Twilight, Applejack and Rarity talk about how weird theirs are.
    3,464 words · 2,520 views  ·  389  ·  7
  • T Wine And Toothpaste

    Beer tastes bad, Whiskey is just horrible, and Colgate does not like drinking. This is the story of how Colgate met Berry Punch for the first time, and how she saw a bartender who was clearly a ninja. Side story to Long Story Short, Things Went Down
    4,946 words · 1,258 views  ·  149  ·  1
  • E Shining DONE!

    The day of Shining Armor and Cadance's wedding anniversary is coming. Shining Armor, wants to give his wife a truly exceptional present, so he asks the Royal Guard of Canterlot for help. Things get very out of hoof from there.
    8,846 words · 3,904 views  ·  610  ·  14
  • T Today is a Good Day to Die

    One night, just like that, Celestia realizes she's going to die in less than twenty-four hours.
    9,126 words · 10,328 views  ·  1,047  ·  35

More Blog Posts94

  • Thursday
    Sometimes Life is Just Hard

    Y'know, I consider myself pretty well-versed when it comes to English. Sure, I can't rhyme for fuck, and sure, it's been three years and I still can't pronounce the word 'schedule' correctly, and sure, my accent is probably pretty funny. But I can talk in English with little to zero trouble, and me grammar is well. Usually. Now and then I fuck up, but, you know. Normal stuff.

    But then, shit like this happens. You wake up, believe it's just going to be another day, and then you turn on your computer and surf the internet. And it hits you. It fucking hits you.

    There's this thinga bout learning a language by yourself -- you're kind of forced to talk like the comics/books you read. Or the shows you watch. This implies I can talk a lot about friendship but very little about finances, for example. And this also means that now and then, a word I thought was legal and perfectly normal in everyday English turns out to be something not only absolutely wrong, but MOTHERFUCKING "STAR WARS-PREQUELS" WRONG. STAR WARS PREQUELS, PEOPLE.

    WHY THE FUCK DID NOBODY TELL ME THAT THE WORD "YOUNGLINGS" WAS MADE UP BY GEORGE LUCAS. WHAT THE EVERLOVING FUCK, PEOPLE. I'VE BEEN USING THAT WORD FOR GOD KNOWS HOW LONG AND NOW IT TURNS OUT I WAS QUOTING MOTHERFUCKING OBI-WAN KENOBI.

    EVERYBODY WILL THINK I'M AN IDIOT.

    GOD FRIGGING DAMMIT.

    I SERIOUSLY BELIEVED THAT WAS AN ABSOLUTELY NORMAL WORD AND TURNS OUT I WAS TALKING SPACEWANKIAN FOR "CHILDREN" LIKE THE BIGGEST DORK THAT EVER WALKED THE PLANET.

    I'VE USED THAT WORD IN FORMAL ESSAYS.

    GOD FUCKING DAMMIT PISS ON A SANDWICH, I'M SO ANGRY AT MYSELF RIGHT NOW I'M A FUCKING IDIOT.

    24 comments · 139 views
  • 4w, 5d
    Birthday, so new story

    Today I turn twenty years old, so here you have a brand new story. Comedy, two-parter, over 10k words written in one go!

    Night Light and Cadance, let's see what you think. It's already submitted, chapter two will be posted in a couple days.

    I hope you like it!

    10 comments · 113 views
  • 5w, 2d
    The End Of An Era

    21 comments · 306 views
  • 6w, 1d
    Octavia Harmony, Selbi, Lucky Roll, Present Perfect, Chris, Singularity Dream, SuperTrampoline, and Eight Hundred Followers!

    Chat Number One

    Aragón: Oh, hey

    Aragón: 800 followers!

    Octavia Harmony: You should write a blog post.

    Octavia Harmony: To celebrate.

    Aragón: That sounds like an idea

    Aragón: But I don’t know what to write

    Octavia Harmony: Something funny?

    Aragón: Yeah but what

    Aragón: Like, I have no idea

    Aragón: I’ll go ask Selbi

    Chat Number Two

    Selbi: Post nude pics.

    Aragón: I don’t believe that would be tasteful

    Selbi: Who cares about taste

    Selbi: Give us some sugar

    Aragón: I was thinking about something like a joke, not a pic of my fabulous genitals, thank you

    Selbi: Okay, first of all

    Selbi: I’ve seen your genitals

    Selbi: And, fuck, you’re absolutely right

    Selbi: They’re fabulous

    Selbi: Share that gift with the world

    Chat Number One

    Octavia Harmony: He’s kind of right, actually.

    Octavia Harmony: A tasteful picture of you posing nude would be an amazing way to commemorate your 800 followers thing.

    Octavia Harmony: Don’t forget to show your genitals, tho.

    Octavia Harmony: They’re absolutely fantastic.

    Aragón: …Wait, how do you know I made that joke with Selbi?

    Octavia Harmony: What joke?

    Octavia Harmony: I’m talking about your nether regions.

    Octavia Harmony: Selbi showed them to me.

    Aragón: …

    Aragón: …

    Aragón: …

    Aragón: What.

    Chat Number Two

    Aragón: WHAT THE EVERLOVING HELL

    Aragón: YOU REALLY HAVE PICTURES OF ME NAKED?!

    Selbi: Yes.

    Selbi: You want some?

    Selbi: Just kidding I’m not gonna share them.

    Aragón: I THOUGHT YOU WERE JOKING

    Selbi: Why would I joke about your genitals.

    Aragón: HOW THE HELL DID YOU EVEN GET THOSE

    Selbi: What.

    Selbi: Your genitals?

    Aragón: THE PHOTOGRAPHS YOU MINDLESS POTATO

    Selbi: Well, do you remember how you stayed at my place for a whole week this summer?

    Selbi: I have cameras.

    Selbi: And you like to sleep naked.

    Aragón: GODDAMMIT

    Selbi: Do the math.

    Selbi: Not like I complain tho.

    Selbi: I would sleep naked if I were you too.

    Selbi: I mean, dayum, son.

    Aragón: THAT IS SO ILLEGAL I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO SAY

    Selbi: Hey what if I am the one posting pictures of you naked in a blog? That would be funny.

    Aragón: NO

    Chat Number One

    Octavia Harmony: I’m not going to lie to you: that WOULD be funny.

    Octavia Harmony: And you don’t even need to post a blog if he does that.

    Octavia Harmony: Everybody will be too busy staring at your mighty buttocks to care about your followers count.

    Octavia Harmony: I mean

    Octavia Harmony: Dayum, son.

    Aragón: WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME, TAY

    Octavia Harmony: Because dayum son.

    Chat Number Three

    Aragón: THEY’RE TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT

    Aragón: AND MY FRONT BUTT

    Aragón: AND SELBI SAYS HE’S GOING TO POST PICTURES

    Aragón: WHAT DO I DO

    Lucky Roll: what the hell is a front butt

    Lucky Roll: are you implying you have a butt on your face

    Lucky Roll: because that’s actually pretty sexy

    Lucky Roll: are you doing anything this Saturday

    Aragón: LUCKY THIS IS SERIOUS

    Lucky Roll: I’m serious too

    Aragón: MY PRIVACY IS IN DANGER

    Lucky Roll: dude just let Selbi do whatever he wants

    Lucky Roll: what’s the worst that could happen

    Aragón: WE WOULD ALL DIE

    Lucky Roll: what

    Lucky Roll: like, we all explode?

    Lucky Roll: for looking at pictures of you?

    Lucky Roll: what are you, the lost ark of indiana jones?

    Aragón: It’s called the Ark of the Covenant

    Aragón: BUT THAT’S NOT IMPORTANT

    Aragón: DUDE SAY SOMETHING

    Aragón: SELBI IS SERIOUSLY ATTACKING ME RIGHT NOW

    Chat Number Four

    Lucky Roll: yo selbi

    Selbi: What.

    Lucky Roll: good job

    Selbi: Thanks.

    Chat Number Three

    Lucky Roll: well I tried everything I could and I failed

    Lucky Roll: just like your mom

    Lucky Roll: when she raised you

    Lucky Roll: hahah

    Lucky Roll: I’m so funny

    Lucky Roll: anyway you’re screwed bro

    Aragón: GODDAMMIT

    Chat Number Five

    Aragón: PRESENT PERFECT

    Aragón: SELBI IS BEING A PERV AGAIN

    Aragón: AND HE SAYS HE’S GONNA POST NUDE PICS OF ME

    PresentPerfect: How the everloving fuck are you even talking to me.

    PresentPerfect: Who are you.

    PresentPerfect: And most important, why do you think I care.

    Aragón: BECAUSE SELBI IS BEING MEAN

    PresentPerfect: How did you get my skype.

    Aragón: I’M ARAGÓN I REALLY LIKE YOUR REVIEWS PLEASE HELP ME

    PresentPerfect: Wait a second.

    PresentPerfect: Aragón?

    PresentPerfect: The nude guy?

    PresentPerfect: Holy crap.

    Chat Number Six

    PresentPerfect: Dude.

    PresentPerfect: The moment you post that stuff, send me a link.

    PresentPerfect: That guys’ buttocks are amazing.

    Selbi: I know, right?

    Chat Number Five

    PresentPerfect: Yeah not helping you. Go away.

    Aragón: GODDAMMIT

    Chat Number Eight

    Aragón: SUPERTRAMPOLINE

    Aragón: MY DEAR FRIEND

    Aragón: I NEED YOUR HELP

    SuperTrampoline: I hate you so much I wish I could go back in time to abort you and then kick you while in fetus form and then feed you to my cat.

    Aragón: Woah holy crap okay sorry

    SuperTrampoline: Yeah, run away.

    SuperTrampoline: You fucking disgrace.

    Chat Number Five

    Aragón: Woah, SuperTrampoline has issues, man

    PresentPerfect: Okay why the hell are you still talking to me.

    Aragón: BECAUSE I LOVE YOU

    PresentPerfect: Oh my fuck.

    Chat Number Nine

    Aragón: CHRIS

    Chris: No.

    Aragón: GODDAMMIT

    Chat Number Ten

    Aragón: I NEED HELP WITH SELBI

    SingularityDream: Oh?

    Aragón: HE WANTS TO POST NUDE PICS

    SingularityDream: Who are you again?

    Aragón: ARAGÓN

    Aragón: YOU KNOW

    Aragón: THE FUNNY GUY

    SingularityDream: Never heard of it.

    Aragón: AUTHOR OF A COUPLE STORIES THAT HAVE BEEN IN THE FEATURED BOX

    SingularityDream: I honestly don’t know who you are.

    Aragón: Sigh.

    Aragón: The guy who farted so hard he cried in that Christmas party

    SingularityDream: Oh.

    SingularityDream: …

    SingularityDream: Yeah this conversation was better when I didn’t know who you are.

    Chat Number One

    Aragón: NOBODY IS HELPING ME

    Aragón: WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE

    Octavia Harmony: I don’t remember you having basilisk eyes for genitals.

    Aragón: GODAMMIT TAY IT’S A FIGURE OF SPEECH

    Octavia Harmony: Hey, you called me “Tay”.

    Octavia Harmony: That’s so cute.

    Chat Number Two

    Aragón: SELBI I’LL DO WHATEVER YOU WANT BUT PLEASE DON’T POST THOSE PICS

    Selbi: You do realize I posted those, like, fucking forever ago, right?

    Aragón: …

    Aragón: GODDAMMIT

    Chat Number Eight

    SuperTrampoline: Okay I’ll tell you this:

    SuperTrampoline: You’re one sexy motherfucker.

    SuperTrampoline: Still a motherfucker, though.

    SuperTrampoline: Goddammit I hate you so much.

    Aragón: I’LL NEVER GET MARRIED NOW

    SuperTrampoline: Also are those basilisk eyes in your tights, or it’s just me?

    Chat Number One

    Octavia Harmony: Well, at least the photos are artistic.

    Aragón: DON’T LOOK AT THEM

    Octavia Harmony: Uh. Too late. I’m getting the third one tattooed on my back.

    Chat Number Three

    Lucky Roll: wow

    Lucky Roll: say it’s not gay if I say no homo right

    Aragón: MY LIFE IS RUINED

    Lucky Roll: exactly

    Aragón: SELBI COMMITED AN INTERNATIONAL CRIME WITH THIS

    Lucky Roll: honestly I doubt anybody’s going to care about it

    Lucky Roll: I mean

    Lucky Roll: everybody is too busy staring at your ass

    Aragón: I’LL NEVER BE ABLE TO LOOK AT MYSELF IN THE MIRROR AGAIN

    Lucky Roll: also is that a tattoo of the lost ark on your right buttcheek

    Lucky Roll: what the hell is wrong with you man






















    Chat Number Nine

    Chris: Hey.

    Chris: Now that I think about it…

    Chris: He never made a blog post for his followers.

    Chris: Man, what a horrible human being.

    Chris: …

    Chris: …

    Chris: …

    Chris: Dayum, son, though.

    28 comments · 262 views
Apr
27th
2013

Well, for some reason it's just not advancing the approval queue. It's been there for more than 48 hours now, so... Huh. It's not being denied, it's just that it hasn't been seen yet.

So, eh, I'm going to post the link here, just in case someone wants to, you know, read it. It should go up someday, but till then, I don't want the few readers I have to wait too much.

So, here you go!

LINK TO THE STORY

Aragon · 59 views · Report
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