Site Post » Reviews Round 12 · 6:28am Jan 24th, 2013
What fresh hell is this that we have found ourselves unfortunate enough to stumble upon as we groped through the void-like, abyssal blackness of the Seattle's Angels Fic Repository. Like blinded babes, we flounder in the inky blackness that obscures all sight, and leaves us feeling as though drowning underwater but without the sweet, pitiful release of death. The malodorous air is thick with a rancid smell, and it stifles our lungs, asphyxiating us, though we dare not cough for fear of inhaling more of the fetid gas. There is an almost grave-like silence, undisturbed by our bumbling, that permeates this hellish landscape. Though we cannot see, it feels as though we are crawling our way through some great squid. The walls, if that is even what they are, ooze with some putrid substance that sticks to our hands and binds us helplessly to its slimy, revolting surface. And now we are trapped, held by some daemonic, otherworldly being too large to comprehend.
Tentacle-like appendages attack our bodies, eliciting cries for help from my companions that are silenced far too quickly. Suddenly the pitch darkness recedes and we find ourselves held aloft by some blasphemous witchcraft, though now free from those wretched walls. It appears as though we are drifting through space, or perhaps some sort of fourth dimension. My companions and I are left speechless, unable to verbalize our unanimous feelings of sheer terror. I feel as though I am slowly slipping into madness. Surely this daemonic being is toying with our minds. We writhe about noiselessly, hoping, praying, for release.
Finally, a deep bass voice echoes in our brains and in our ears.
ph'nglui mglw'nafh Seattle_Lite R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn
It is like the booming of a thousand horrid drums. The voice, now given shape, an impossible being of immense, incomprehensible size, multitudinous eyes and innumerable muculent tentacles writhing demonically, speaks again, nigh crushing us under its weight.
Three stories to be reviewed. Three reviewers to do the reviewing. Round 12 is nigh.
In a moment of clarity we realize that it is speaking English, and we rush to respond, hoping to halt its infinite gaze.
'We have found three stories to be reviewed, yes. The deadline has been met, Seattle.'
From our pockets we fish out several scraps of yellowing paper. There is a shrill screech, ear-shatteringly loud it wracks us to our very bones. More tentacles shoot out and grab the papers, covering them in their corrupt ichor. We wait with bated breath in the deathly silence, hoping beyond hope that our reviews would be met with approval. Another earsplitting screech, followed by diabolical laughter that sounded like nothing any creature from Earth could create. There was no sound, but we felt ourselves being released from our unearthly bondage, slipping into blackness again.
When we woke, we were in small room, unlit save for a handful of candles arranged into a demonic symbol on the floor and connected with lines of blood. In the middle, our papers lay waiting for us.
The top one was nearly all white besides two words printed in impossibly straight, black letters.
Round 12
STORY 1
The Name Game, by Brony Tom
WHAT’S IN A NAME? LETTERS, OF COURSE!
This is a difficult fic to recommend—not because it’s bad or anything—but because so much is wrapped up in the reveal toward the end. Describing, or heck, simply outlining what happens throughout the story runs the risk of major spoilers. So, in an effort to obfuscate the more pivotal parts of the plot, I will henceforth utilize as many sock-related analogies as possible.
Let’s begin by talking about the overall narrative structure. Right from the start, it is apparent that there’s a mystery afoot. And over that foot is a black sock with the word “enigma” stenciled on it, followed by another sock of lighter hue bearing the words “false perceptions.” As the story marches on, this outermost layer quickly becomes threadbare, revealing hints of the much darker, sweaty thing that lies beneath.
This buildup, underscored with hints that all is not well, is probably the most engaging part of the fic. As our intrepid Apple Bloom wizens to the nebulously nefarious happenings going on around her and begins pulling the metaphorical elastic, the tension reaches levels of intensity only matched by taking a dip in a washer filled entirely with bleach. At first, this unraveling seems to be the end of it all, but no, this fic goes even further.
At last, we get to the bare sole of this mystery—the clammy extremity that’s been stewing beneath all these layers of secrecy. Exposed as such, it is downright chilling. I’ll be up front about it: this story does not have a happy ending. What it does have, though, is a twisting of canon so fundamentally thought-provoking it’s ridiculous. Kind of like all these analogies.
The biggest part of this fic, though—and what earns it a thumbs-up from me—is the question posed by its narrative: is it right to wear whatever socks you want, or is it better to wear the same white socks as everyone else? This is a question that will stick with you long after the fic is over, so best start pondering it now. Ponder it.
This is a really nice dark philosophical story. Its strength is its ambiguity; not in terms of what factual events occur, but in terms of the moral lesson implied by them. For there is a dilemma posed in the plot, and both sides of it are shown with clarity, such that I imagine that half of this story's readers will come down on one side of the dilemma, and half will come down on the other side, and each side will have an equal and strong conviction that they are in the right. And a work that can legitimately be interpreted one way or another is valuable stuff, inasmuch as most philosophical writing is simple advocacy, and philosophical fiction is too often preaching disguised as storytelling. So, if for no other reason, its honest look at both sides of a tough issue makes The Name Game worthwhile.
And that's not to say there are no other reasons. Competently written throughout, and more than competently at times, The Name Game is a strong dark fic, all philosophizing aside. I thought it was well-paced, atmospheric, tense, and unpredictable. The characters are believable, the prose is nice; everything's in its right place. But the interesting presentation of the central philosophical dilemma is, I think, the story's main draw. Some of my peers had issues with the story's pacing; if there are such issues, I didn't notice them. But perhaps I should defer to those who've read more [Dark] stories than I have.
Overall, this is a great story, and I'd recommend it mainly to anyone who's up for some deeper reflection on a central question relating to existence in the FiM universe.
“Oh, nothing extraordinary... I just devoured their minds.”
Names, as asserted by Brony Tom, are an important part of each pony's personality, and being. They're just as, if not more important than cutie marks in making each individual unique. Now, I've gone by many names across the internet, and each of them said something about me, so I can see what Brony Tom is saying, but I can't help but disagree somewhat. Of course, this review isn't about what I disagreed with; it's about what makes this fic special/good/not a pile of crap. So, in the interest of keeping the review on track, allow me to explain why The Name Game ain't so bad.
Me? I'm a huge fan of [Dark] fics, can't get enough of 'em. The problem, unfortunately, is that most people don't actually utilize what I call “real” horror when they write ponyfics. Authors lean on blood, guts, and gore like Tiny Tim leans on his little baby crutches. They use jump scares, and nauseating imagery to “scare” the audience. Cupcakes, Rainbow Factory, and the like are the literary equivalent of Friday the 13th VI: Jason Lives. Now, there's nothing wrong with that, per se. Some people like ridiculous gore and silly “horror” that feels more absurd than horrifying. But me, I like psychological horror, “real” horror, and The Name Game manages it fairly well. Granted, it loses it a bit near the end and I could practically feel the tension slipping away like Frodo through Sam's hands at the end of The Return of the King, but up until then it had my attention firmly in its grasp.
Whoops, wrong picture.
The beginning is where this fic really shines. I relished the slow build up of tension as more and more things begin to seem odd and Apple Bloom begins to suspect that something isn't quite right. Now, I should clarify, while The Name Game does manage true horror decently, I still never felt scared, and my jimmies remained unrustled, but I felt a certain uneasiness that something like Cheerilee's Garden simply doesn't accomplish. As the tension builds to its inevitable release I began to suspect that there would be a multi-layered twist, and as it turns out, I was right.
Obviously we try to keep these reviews as spoiler-free as possible, so I won't be specific, but suffice it to say that The Name Game doesn't just stop after the first twist, it keeps going and going like the Energizer bunny until canon has become so twisted that it is unrecognizable. I applaud Brony Tom for being able to bend the canon so effortlessly, and semi-believably, but I couldn't help but feel as though it was... too much. Yes, the twist(s) was/were interesting, and yes, they did go in a direction I would not have immediately suspected, but after the second twist is revealed it almost feels as though the first was entirely unnecessary. However, that being said, through talking with my fellow reviewers, it's become apparent that only myself and one other person feels this way. If you read their reviews, then you know that both Belligerent Sock and Nietzsche absolutely loved this fic, and I did too, to a decidedly lesser degree however.
Anyway, if you're a fan of [Dark] fics that are actually dark, or are looking for an example of how to do psychological horror well, than I would heartily suggest giving The Name Game a read. You'll at least be glad you gave it a chance. But if you want to see an even better example of “real” horror, then go read A-FLEet|ng-LIght-|n-thE-DArknEsS. I cannot recommend this fic enough.
SO, WHO’S UP FOR SOME LAZY-FAIRY CAPITALISM?
One of the things I like about “Slice of Life” fics is that they’re often the most genuine. By definition, they’re nothing like the tall green ruck-march socks of “Adventure,” nor are they the worn, color-faded hose of “Dark.” They’re meant to treat us to a laid-back and care-free world and maybe teach us something along the way, much like those comfortable everyday socks you all keep in your drawers.
On occasion, fics such as these give us a look at one of the series’ more minor players. In this case, we’re looking at Filthy Rich. This fic, as its description indicates, is all about his history and how it intertwines with that of the Apple family and Ponyville at large. Framed as his memoirs, he invites us into his past with a humble narrative voice—probably not what one would expect from the guy with three sacks of money on his rear.
Diamond Tiara’s father has appeared in canon a grand total of once, and then only with a handful of lines, so most of what happens in this fic is pretty much invented from whole cloth. Some bits trod over familiar ground—especially where Granny Smith and zap apples are concerned—but there’s always a bit of embellishment that helps integrate them into the overall history with surprising consistency. Even the host of OC’s hardly feel out of place, and their interactions with Filthy all feel quite believable.
This is typified in the relationship between Filthy and his grandfather; this pair steals the show. Their back-and-forth dialogue comes across as a very natural and honest consanguinity, with Stinking trying to impress his values on Filthy through the most well-meaning but blunt means possible and Filthy not getting a lick of it. We learn along with our narrator, and the morals expressed by the story are something both rich and poor can appreciate.
The fic does begin a bit slowly, but that doesn’t last very long before it hooks you with its charm. Really, its biggest shortcoming is that it’s incomplete as of this writing. By the end of its four chapters, I was left wanting more. That fact alone should give you a hint as to its level of quality, since of course my opinion is utterly infallible.
Yet another philosophical story! But this one isn't quite so overt. What you have here is the beginnings of a great slice-of-life novel. At 20,000 words, it's incomplete and just taking off, but the pacing isn't slow; the novel is simply taking its time, developing its plot, characters, and scenes completely and satisfyingly. And the main characters—Filthy Rich, Diamond Tiara’s father, and Honeycrisp, a member of the Apple family—might as well be OCs for all the canon development they’ve had, so there’s a lot of work to be done building up the characters with their motivations and conflicts. Luckily for us all, SR Foxley takes his worldbuilding seriously, and it shows.
Regarding the quality of story we’re dealing with here, one particularly telling aspect stands out: the extremely plot-relevant, tastefully executed youthful romance was more engaging to me than hundreds of warm-and-fuzzy shipfics. You see, to many authors, romance is a stumbling block. No matter what the tone of a story is, or its subject, once a romantic subplot emerges writers often feel they are required to describe the longing embrace of the eyes, the feeling of one lover’s warm breath on the other’s neck, and the taste of saliva tinged with various foodstuffs, among many, many other things. This is not good writing, and everyone knows it. Excerpts shows itself to be a serious piece by avoiding these tired tropes and maintaining the focus of the narrative and the realistic tone even during the “romantic” scenes.
And that is just one example of something this story does right. I could go on: excellent pacing, heartwarming slice-of-life interactions, flowing and intelligent prose. There is so much to like here, and the story is not even complete—not even nearly complete, as far as I can tell. In short, I love this story, and I’d feel confident recommending it to anyone.
"Now, when ya start to get rich, yer gonna have a choice. Ya can either choose to pay this debt, in which case ye'll start to understand what true wealth is and what true friendship is. Or ya can choose not to, and in the end, ye'll learn that money… is jest money."
Money can mean a lot of things to a lot of people. For some, it's a means to an end. For others, it's its own reward. Still others believe it is the root of all evil, though I would disagree. For Filthy Rich, however, it is his life. His cutie mark, three bags of money, defines him, shaped by his desire to become wealthy. But, through the careful, and sometimes harsh, tutelage of his grandfather, Stinking Rich, Filthy Rich learns that simply being wealthy isn't what makes you happy.
The Joker knows you can't buy happiness.
A few of you may remember a story we featured awhile ago, Roots. It was a lovely example of world-building and an interesting character-study of Big McIntosh, but what really made it stand out was how you got to see Big Mac grow as the story progressed. Unfortunately, or perhaps fortunately, the story was rather short, and told entirely through journal entries. Excerpts From a Filthy Diary does something very similar, though, in my opinion, much better. It utilizes short journal entries that are then expanded upon by way of first-personpony narration.
Now, I'll admit, at first I wasn't too keen on this fic. It started a bit slow for my tastes, and I found it hard to empathize with any of the characters. However, by the time I reached the second chapter I was astonished at how quickly I had grown attached to them. This is one of the few fics that I can say I really fell in love with the characters. Watching Filthy Rich grow into his own, and watching him slowly become the pony he was meant to be is very heartwarming. The somewhat tense relationship with his grandfather is used beautifully to create small conflicts and really spur the majority of Filthy's character development. And Honeycrisp as well, is a major catalyst for much of Filthy's changes. It's frustrating and subsequently heartwarming to see him struggle to fit in with his classmates, and later deal with more important relationships. I hate spoiling things in these reviews, so I'll just say that love, and the love of others, is an important theme in Excerpts.
One more thing. I know a lot of people don't like when authors abuse accents to try and make a character sound different, or discernible from other characters, but SR Foxley has earned my respect for making some of the best accented dialogue I've seen in a ponyfic. Nearly every character speaks with a fairly heavy southern accent, and he doesn't just throw in a few 'Ah's and some 'yew's. SR Foxely goes full-southern and frankly its awesome. If I had to guess I'd say Foxely is either from the South, or has lived there, because the idioms and metaphors that Stinking Rich uses are so wonderfully southern that it feels very authentic. So, if for no other reason than to see accents done well, you need to go click that link below the picture of Stinking Rich and Filthy Rich and go read this story right now. It is definitely one that I'll be keeping up with (which, honestly, doesn't happen very often).
STORY 3
Switchaloo, by theworstwriter
IN THIS FIC, SCOOTALOO TAKES RAINBOW DASH FOR A RIDE!
The “body-swap” scenario. You’ve seen it many times before, in perhaps a dozen different productions. It’s one of those “fallback” plotlines for when the writers have run out of ideas—an extra set of socks for those days when the floors are too chilly to walk on. Done right, it can lead to both the characters and the viewer learning something new. Done wrong, and the audience is simply left with cold feet.
This fic does it right. First off, it treats the scenario for what it is: inherently silly. This fic is tagged “Comedy” and with good reason. The prose is very tongue-in-cheek, which gives the entire story an air of absurdity which only benefits it as it carries on. There are several moments of such precise comedic timing that one can hardly keep from guffawing all over their screen.
Second, the swapping shenanigans that Scootaloo and Rainbow Dash get into are not the focus of the piece. It would’ve been all too obvious to have Scootaloo flying around dealing with the weather, or have Rainbow Dash spend the whole day with the other Cutie Mark Crusaders. Instead of setting up a basic “learn to appreciate what you have” moral, this fic goes in a different direction. I’ll not spoil what direction, specifically, but suffice it to say that “Romance” tag is there for a reason (and probably not the one you’re thinking).
Finally, this fic resounds with what it doesn’t say. All throughout, we are led by the nose. Hints are dropped as to happenings beyond our view, and very few are concretely resolved by the end. At times this is used purely for comedic purposes, and at others serves to underscore the fic’s overall theme. Ultimately, this is a story about the barriers between the seen and unseen, between adults and children, and between two individuals hesitant to express themselves.
As you might have gathered, that makes it well-worth the read. Hop to it!
So, um, this is kind of a weird one. But it's not your average species of weird; it's neither lol-so-random, nor intentionally obtuse. It just... hooks you in with a humble little premise and then subverts your expectations. And I'm saying this is a good thing.
You read the synopsis and you see what you're dealing with— Rainbow Dash and Scootaloo switching bodies. What more do you need to see to know you're in for some crazy hijinks, eh? Well, the hijinks never exactly materialize quite like you're expecting them to, and things just play out in a way that keeps you ever-so-slightly off balance. Subplots and subtext add layers to the tale, and keep adding interest and accelerating the plot, faster and faster, until... the story cuts out. And at that point everything snaps into place. You may not yet fully understand what you've just read, but you can see that something important has happened, something worth thinking about. And then you'll think about it.
Or, well, at least that was my experience. YMMV. To speak more objectively, this is a typical slice-of-life story that uses meta elements to make aspects of its psychological insights more apparent. It's a little like the Friendship is Witchcraft series in this sense. I enjoyed it most for its sense of humor, fun characters, and interesting resolution. Its four thousand words pass very quickly, especially in the second half. I would recommend it to all readers, but especially to those who enjoy the slice-of-life genre and to those who like a good puzzle.
“Ten bits if you look the other way and let me take your body for a spin until five.”
Good news and bad news, readers. It appears that I have somehow managed to swap bodies with Belligerent Sock, our intrepid cotton companion. The bad news is that that means I am now a sock, which makes typing quite difficult (I have no idea how he does it). But the good news is that I can still read ponyfics because of the googly eyes, so the reviews are still a-go. It might just take a litt—stop the presses! False alarm, people. It appears I am not in the body of Belligerent Sock; I merely had a sock over my head. Amidst all the cottony softness I believed I had become footwear. Not sure how that happened, but let's not question it and just move on.
Belligerent Sock cosplaying as Megatron
The author, theworstwriter, despite his incredibly misleading name, is actually one of the better writers I've seen on this lovely little site that we all inhabit. His stories are short and usually very entertaining, and Switchaloo is no exception.
Now, you may be thinking to yourself, “But, Alex, body-swap stories are sooooo lame. I've seen them a billion times and they're always filled the same crap about 'appreciating what you already have' and all that jazz.” However, I posit that Switchaloo is anything but lame, and far from the usual tried and true body-swap plotline. There are only two tags on this fic, [Comedy] and [Romance], and both of them are well-deserved. Switchaloo is easily one of the funniest fics I've read in a good while, and theworstwriter captures both Scootaloo and Rainbow Dash's personality very well, allowing them to feel very natural in their actions and dialogue, and allowing the comedy to become almost organic.
There are many many great lines, and I literally laughed out loud one more than occasion. At one point, I was even reduced to a stomach-clutching, chortling mess. Needless to say, Switchaloo is damn funny. But what really sets this lovely piece of work apart from other [Comedy] fics, and hell, other fics in general, is all the read-between-the-lines subtlety that makes this fic worth reading more than once. Seeing as this is it's greatest strength, and I don't want to spoil any of the humor, or “hidden” jokes, I won't go into detail, but you should know going in that that [Romance] tag probably isn't going to mean what you think it's going to mean. In fact, most of the romance-type stuff happens between the lines, and by the end you realize that Switchaloo is far more than just a silly comedy with some body-swapping shenanigans. When you get down to it, Switchaloo is probably the most deserving fic we've featured in awhile, at least in my eyes. It certainly will be on my “All-Stars” list, right up there with Mantles and Pip.
And now the deed was done, our reviews had been submitted. We could only pray that the unholy being would take mercy on our poor, wretched souls and allow us to continue reviewing. We sat cross-legged in a circle around the flaming pages and chanted.
We cannot say, dear reader, what exactly happened this day, for it would surely drive you to madness. We ourselves have surely become one with those pitiable creatures at the insane asylum, though we may not realize it ourselves, at least not yet. No, what has happened here must never be spoken of again lest some unwitting fool release His awful presence on this land again. For now it has become our solemn duty to keep His insatiable will at bay with a weekly influx of reviews. We can only hope that He does not deign to suffer our universe again for some time, for He would surely enter unabated and unhindered. Yog-Sothoth is the only place that can retain him; it is his prison, but it is also the lock and the key. Undoubtedly, despite our best efforts, He will surely return, and the daemonic shrieking will rattle the bones of every man, woman, and child on Earth, reducing the population to quivering masses.
We only pray that it does not happen in your lifetime, reader. Perhaps we will one day discover some way to permanently keep Him imprisoned, but I doubt it. His foetid stench, and blasphemous form, unimaginable by the human mind, will surely drive this world to madness some day.
But until then, dear reader, keep reading these reviews. Your views are the only thing that keeps Him at bay, and if you are brave, or foolhardy enough, you may wish to aid us in our cause, or question our sanity. It is admirable, though ultimately futile. Perhaps though, you may find some small comfort in discussing your eventual demise with fellow readers. Small comforts are the only kind left to us now...
Well, here's a new list of stories to read.
Belligerent Sock's cosplay sucks. Megatron looks way too much like Optimus Prime. Good work on the helmet, though.
And suddenly, everything makes sense.
Oh hey, worsty and Foxley! So glad to see you guys featured here!
So... how DO you come to decide what stories get featured and what ones don't?
Ha, even in the Seattle's Angel's Fic Repository, you can't escape the hell that is bad fiction.
Now to see if any of these featured fics were pulled from the recommendation thread, because apparently I do keep track of that.
*After actually reading it over* Holy crap, Seattle Lite is one of the Old Ones? That explains so much...
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Now would be an excellent opportunity to plug that our group's front page has a newly-minted FAQ which covers a few topics including that one since it gets asked nearly every week
Looks like another one of Worsty's things I have to add to my ever-growing pile of things I have to read...
Since when did I have thirty, and why are more than half of them over 100k words?
And three more stories to add to the read later list, weee.
I reviewed Excerpts from a Filthy Diary on /fic/ a while ago, and it's one of the very few stories that's forcibly switched me out of reviewer mode mid-review. It's a little like Tangled Up in Blues, one of my very favourite fics, and I can't wait to read more of it. Luckily for us, SR Foxley's taking it very seriously and, if you check out his blog posts, has been doing a lot of research into the lives of the rich and generous. I'm excited for what that'll mean for the story, and so should you be.
The Name Game was really clever; definitely something to think about.
Switchaloo wasn't really my thing. There's just something worsty's Appledash mindbenders that gives me a headache. Even so, there were some pretty funny jokes and I can see why others would enjoy it.
Thanks for doing this, you guys! It's appreciated.
Oh hey, would you look at that. This one was pretty darn fun to write, but I never did get around to editing it. So there it is, exactly as it splorted out of me. Still, if'n folks like it, that's a good thing.
One of the jokes in here is actually my #1 favorite joke that I've ever written, but it's not called out much/at all. Not that taking anypony's body for a spin isn't ALSO hilarious.
Bleargh. Thanky thanky!
ctrl-w
FIRED
My God...
What is happening to you poor reviewers?
Wow, I am... Wow. Thanks so much, guys! I have to be honest, when I saw that post I squee'd a little bit.
I am honored that you see fit to add my work to this collection.
Also, that sock analogy was strangely accurate.
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Alas, it appears I have angered the great presentperfect. I must now cast myself off this ledge in ritualistic sacrifice.
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>and it's one of the very few stories that's forcibly switched me out of reviewer mode mid-review
I can definitely identify with this sentiment. At about halfway through the second chapter I stopped looking at it critically and just started enjoying every minute of it. I fell in love with the characters and found myself wanting to read more and more. I think the last time that happened with one of the fics we featured was when I read Mantles. Needless to say, Excerpts has quickly become one of the most memorable fics I've read in a long while.
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That's the great and powerful Present Perfect to you. :V
Greasemonkey!
No, but srsly. I'll check these out.
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Looks to me like alexmagnet has Belligerent Sock cosplaying Cowboy Bebop sitting at his computer...
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WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE AND WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY SOCK DRAWER?
Actually, I just wanted to say thanks for reviewing my unfinished story that's taking forever to write. Thanks also to the words of encouragement (and the pre-reading) from Ezn, eh!
Also, thanks to Impossible Numbers for linking me to this post. I had no idea this review group existed, but will be following y'all from here on, eh. I really enjoyed The Name Game and Switchaloo as well.