Chapter Seven
Growing Up
⠀
⠀
Few things lasted for a band on tour. At most, they could stay in one place for a couple of days at a time, and then it was onto the next city.
And so it was with the band’s time at Everton. Fluttershy had managed to get them a whole day off in their hometown before they had to leave it, but they did indeed have to leave it. Rainbow climbed onto the bus, waving goodbye to her friends and family.
Then the door shut, she took a seat, and it was ever onwards. It was Friday morning, and they had to drive several hours to get to their next stop by night time. It was a tight schedule, but they had opted for that instead of driving overnight to give everyone a little more time with their families.
“Always hard to leave home,” Lemon Zest said with a sigh. “How long until we’re back again?”
“Three more months,” Fluttershy said. “That’ll end this leg of the tour, then we’ll have two weeks off before starting the next part.”
“Two whole weeks,” Windfall said. “What will I even do with myself?”
“Guess it doesn’t really get easier…” Gilda said.
Fluttershy smiled at her. “It does get easier, but some days are still hard. This is one of them.”
“Well, I’m ready for it,” Rainbow said, propping her feet up on the empty seat across from her. She put her hands behind her head and wore a cocky grin. “Sure, it was nice to see everyone, but what I really want to see is tonight’s crowd!”
“Easy for you to say.” Windfall frowned. “You’re lead singer and lead guitarist. It’s you they’re cheering for, and you know it.”
“Come on, no ‘I’ in team, right?” Rainbow said. “We couldn’t do this without all of us.”
“Rainbow’s right,” Fluttershy said. “You know you’re all important parts of this band.”
“Yeah, you’re right.” Windfall leaned back and closed his eyes. “I was just up late last night and didn’t want to get up this morning.”
“Take a nap,” Lemon Zest said with a shrug. “No one’s stopping you.”
“Yeah, I think I will.” Windfall stood up and walked to the back of the bus where there were cots for them to sleep in.
Rainbow let out a yawn. “I might too in a bit.”
“Up late?” Lemon Zest asked.
“Nah, I just appreciate a good nap.”
Rainbow just sat back and watched as Lemon Zest flipped browsed through options until she got to a movie they could agree on. Once it was settled, she leaned against Fluttershy while she watched it. As usual, Rainbow had no idea what was going on with the two of them, but Fluttershy put her arm around Lemon Zest. Gilda was more preoccupied with doing something on her phone than with following the plot.
She didn’t really mean to fall asleep, but she had gotten too used to sleeping on tour busses and it was too early to want to be coherent. The next thing Rainbow was aware of was something small and soft hitting her face.
She blinked a few times, then looked down to see a few pieces of popcorn on her shirt. “The hell?”
Gilda laughed. She was holding a bag of popcorn. “Sleeping well, princess?”
Rainbow frowned and brushed herself off. “I wasn’t sleeping.”
“Yeah, you were,” Lemon Zest said. She was still lying on Fluttershy, who was stroking her hair. “You were snoring and everything.”
“That was why we were trying to get popcorn in your mouth,” Fluttershy said.
Rainbow grumbled and stood up. “You’re all bitches, you know that?”
“You’re just now noticing?” Lemon Zest said as she snickered.
Rainbow grumbled and made her way to the bus’s fridge. She grabbed herself a bottle of water and took it to the back room, placing a door between herself and the others.
The cots were oddly comforting. They were small and confined, separated with curtains so that they completely encased whoever was lying in them.
Rainbow didn’t climb into one, not right away. She instead leaned against a wall and took a sip of water. She wasn’t sure she even wanted to nap, but if the others were gonna be bitches…
She sighed and drank more of her water. To her surprise, Windfall answered her sigh. “What’s up?”
“Nothing,” Rainbow said. “Can’t sleep?”
“No.” One of the curtains opened up and Windfall looked out at Rainbow. He shimmied out of the cot to stand beside her. “Something wrong?”
“Not really.” Rainbow shook her head. “Alright, maybe a little.”
“I thought so. What happened?”
“It wasn’t so much that something happened, it’s just…” Rainbow rolled her eyes. “Just seeing Lightning Dust the other night.”
Rainbow felt stupid saying it, and the surprised look Windfall gave her made her feel stupider. “You’re not still mad with her about leaving are you?”
“Aren’t you?” Rainbow knew the answer before she even asked the question.
“No,” Windfall said, just as Rainbow had expected him to. “She didn’t like the direction we were heading in. It wasn’t personal.”
“I know, but just…” Rainbow looked towards the other room, but there was a door separating them. “I can’t get used to Gilda being here. Everyone keeps saying that she’s changed, and I know she seems like she has, but…”
“But she’s not Lightning Dust,” Windfall finished for her.
“Yeah…”
Windfall folded his arms. “She’s never gonna be Dust, Dash.”
Rainbow winced at the finality in his tone. “I know that.”
“And it’s not her fault that Dust left.”
“I know.”
Windfall put his hand on Rainbow’s shoulder. “I miss her too, you know.”
“We started this band together!” Rainbow frowned. “And now Gilda’s signing albums Dust recorded with us.”
“She’s just trying to give the fans what they want.”
“Why do the fans want her!?” Rainbow shook her head and spoke more quietly. The last thing she needed was for Gilda to overhear her. “They don’t even care that Dust is gone, you know? I’ve looked around online, checked all the social media sites, no one even talks about the fact that Dust left. It’s all ‘oh, the new album is so different’ and no one puts it together that that’s because of Dust!”
“Yeah. But that’s just because they weren’t there on the journey. They didn’t see what went into each of those songs.”
“Maybe they should.”
“Dash?”
Rainbow bowed her head. “I don’t know. Just wishful thinking, I guess.”
“Look, I gotta be honest. I wish I got more recognition sometimes too. I’m just the rhythm guitarist, so all our guitar stuff still gets credited to you.”
“Doesn’t it piss you off?” Rainbow scowled. “I don’t even want this, you know? Everyone looking at me, everyone thinking it’s all my songs and my decisions and everything being all about what I’m doing in the band.”
“I know you don’t.”
They were quiet for a moment, then Windfall slowly pulled Rainbow into a hug. “We’ll always know the truth, though.”
“Yeah, I guess.”
Windfall let go of Rainbow and smiled. “Now, you come in here to sleep, or did you just miss me too much?”
Rainbow rolled her eyes. “Getting to sleep will mean getting to the show that much faster. That’s one thing I’m not sick of, at least.”
“Well then better get your ass in bed then.”
“Yeah, alright.” Rainbow climbed into one of the cots, then looked out to see Windfall doing the same. “Hey, Windfall?”
“Yeah?”
“Thanks.”
He chuckled. “No problem. But one of these days, you’re gonna have to learn to sort out your own messes.”
“Nah, I got you around for that.”
“Night, Dash.”
“Night, Windfall.”
Rainbow pulled the curtain closed and stared up at the ceiling. With the curtain closed, the cot was completely encased, a small little room all to herself.
While she lay in bed waiting for sleep, her mind kept wandering back to the person she started this band with. She wondered if Lightning Dust had gotten more recognition, if she’d still be around. And if that was why she left in the end, who would be next? Lemon Zest? Windfall?
Rainbow rolled over and chastised herself. She shouldn’t be thinking like that. Lemon Zest and Windfall were part of her Bitchette family, and they weren’t going anywhere. And for better or worse, so was Gilda now.
And Fluttershy, of course. At least that was one person Rainbow could always count on to be there. She knew better than to think that way, but it was true that everyone else might come and go. Not Fluttershy, though. She would always be there for Rainbow, just as Rainbow would always be there for Fluttershy.
Rainbow was still groggy as she wandered around backstage. The opening band was on stage, which gave Rainbow little to do but wait. She’d seen them perform from the audience several times, and while they were good, she wasn’t in the mood tonight.
So she wandered around aimlessly, trying to find something to do. She debated just heading back to the tour bus until it was time for them to go on stage, but she came across something that made her stop in her tracks – Fluttershy and Gilda going into the dressing room together.
There wasn’t anything suspicious about that, not really. Rainbow knew that, and she told herself to keep on walking. Leave it alone, because every attempt to do something more blew up in her face.
She told herself, but her legs still carried her over to the door. They had shut it behind them, so Rainbow placed her head against it to listen. She could hear voices, but no words.
That was for the best. She didn’t really want to eavesdrop on them. She trusted them, and she would…
She would need to stop kidding herself someday. She trusted Fluttershy, but Gilda? No way.
Rainbow opened the door, then acted surprised to see the others in there. “Oh, hey you two.”
“Rainbow?” Fluttershy asked with a frown. “What are you doing here?”
As far as she could tell, Gilda and Fluttershy had just been talking. “I was just trying to kill some time You know, just –”
“Just butting into someone else’s business.” Gilda turned and walked to the door, bumping Rainbow with her shoulder along the way.
“Hey, what gives?” Rainbow asked.
Gilda didn’t stop to answer though, just walking through the doorway and leaving Rainbow and Fluttershy alone.
“Rainbow…” Fluttershy balled her hands into fists. “What is wrong with you?”
“What!?” Rainbow’s mouth fell open. “What are you talking about? I’m just here to get ready for our act!”
“Gilda saw you when we entered,” Fluttershy said. “She knew you’d follow us in. I tried standing up for you, but… Well, look how that turned out.”
“I… I didn’t…” Rainbow shoved her hands in her pockets and looked away.
“You can’t keep doing this!” Fluttershy said. “I wish you would see that Gilda isn’t doing anything wrong, but if you can’t… well, at least fucking act like you do.”
“I didn’t accuse her or anything!” Rainbow said desperately. “I just walked into a fucking room!”
“Because we were in here alone!” Fluttershy stamped her foot. “Because you don’t trust her with me!”
“It wasn’t that!”
“Then what was it?” Fluttershy asked. “Because please, I’d love to know why you keep acting this way. This is just like Sunset all over again.”
“I was right about Sunset.”
“No, you weren’t!”
“Whatever. I’m just trying to look out for you, okay? Fine! You want to know, yeah, I saw Gilda bring you in here and I wanted to know why she needed to be alone with you.”
“Because she wanted advice with her new girlfriend.”
“Her what?”
“Come on, Dash, we all saw her leave with Limestone. Or can you not be bothered to care about anything in her life that can’t be used as evidence that she’s still out to get me?”
“I didn’t know they were dating!” Rainbow’s face was growing hot, but she ignored that in favor of getting more and more defensive. “I just saw them leave, how was I supposed to know that?”
“Hmm, I don’t know, maybe by fucking asking her?” Fluttershy threw out her arms. “You could try to get along with her, you know.”
Rainbow gritted her teeth. She was so tired of being nice about things only for it to blow up on her. If she was going to get blamed for saying something, she might as well say something worth getting blamed for. “Why should I? Why should any of us? Why are we parading around someone who hurt you and welcoming her in as part of the band?”
“Because we’re grown-ups now, Dash! At least the rest of us are. But you…” Fluttershy ran her hand through her hair, balling a clump of it up into her fist. “You just keep acting like the kid who’s afraid that there’s less love for her because someone new is in the picture.”
“That’s not what I’m acting like.”
“That’s what it’s really starting to feel like!” Fluttershy shook her head and there were tears in her eyes. “First Sunset, now Gilda. You push people away when I try to get close to them.”
“No. No, that’s bullshit. Lightning Dust? Lemon Zest? Windfall? You’re close with all of them, and I’ve never tried to stop that.”
“Right, because it’s okay when they’re you’re friends too.”
“I was friends with Sunset.”
“And when you were friends, you were okay with me being close to her! That’s the point, Sunset was fine until you stopped being her friend, then she needed to be out of my life.
“That’s fucking backwards and you know it! I stopped being friends with her because she was a bitch to you!”
“No, she wasn’t!” Fluttershy yelled. Rainbow had rarely heard Fluttershy actually yell, but this time she did. “I don’t need your god damn protection! I don’t need you to put me on a fucking pedestal! It doesn’t help me!”
“How am I putting you on a pedestal?”
“Because you refuse to even consider the ways I hurt Sunset too! I’m not perfect, Rainbow!”
“Like what?” Rainbow asked skeptically. “What did you do that was so bad that I ignored?”
“You always gave her shit for drinking, and you never cared when I did.”
“Because you didn’t have a problem!”
“How can you be so dense? I still have a problem! I drink like every fucking day!”
“Yeah, but you do it, you know, responsibly. You don’t cause problems with it.”
“Argh! You’re infuriating!” Fluttershy looked at Rainbow and scowled, then took a deep breath. “I threw the glass.”
“What glass?”
“You know, the one thing you never forgave Sunset for? That wasn’t her. It was me. She lied about it so you wouldn’t be mad at me.”
Rainbow shook her head. “That doesn’t make any sense. Why would you do something like that?”
“I don’t know! Because I was angry, I guess! I don’t even remember what we were fighting about!”
“Well…” Rainbow searched for something, anything she could say to make that better. “If you did something like that, then she probably deserved it.”
Fluttershy screamed. Then she crossed the room and grabbed Rainbow by the shirt. “Just admit that I can do things wrong! Because having this perfect version of myself always held over me that I can never live up to, it just makes me feel so much worse.”
“Shy, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean –”
“No. Shut up. God damn it, Dash, I love you but I can’t keep doing this! You need to fix your shit, or I’m leaving.”
Rainbow blinked. She didn’t just say that. Fluttershy could not have just said that. “You’re what?”
“You already cost me my girlfriend, the only person that’s ever made me happy. And now you’re pushing away more of my friends because you’re too insecure to admit that I’m not fucking perfect. So fix your shit or I’m going home.”
Fluttershy let go of Rainbow and walked out of the door. Rainbow just stood still, unable to move. That hadn’t happened. There was just no way that something like that could have happened. Especially not over Gilda of all people.
And yet somehow, it had. And now Rainbow had to do something about it, or else… or else Fluttershy was going to quit.
‘She can’t,’ Rainbow told herself. ‘She’s just bluffing. She’s our manager, she can’t just leave us like this.’
But Rainbow knew better. Sure, Fluttershy was their manager, but nothing said she always had to be. Hell, she could be their manager from back in Everton and hire a different tour manager.
She could still be bluffing, but Rainbow couldn’t feel good about banking on that. She stumbled backwards into the wall and leaned against it, leaning her head back until it clunked against the wall.
“What the fuck is wrong with me…”
There was no answer, of course. Rainbow sure as hell didn’t have one. Fluttershy seemed to, though. Had she been right? Was Rainbow just pushing people away from her?
She stumbled out of the room, dead set on finding Windfall. He’d know what to do, he was always there to keep Rainbow’s world grounded. Sure, he’d tell her it was her fault, but he’d be able to help put things into a perspective that she could understand.
She just had to find him. She ambled around backstage looking around for him, but she found no sign of anyone. So left the building, heading back for the tour bus.
Somehow she would have to perform on stage with her band soon. It wouldn’t be the first time that they’d had to put aside issues to perform, but no problem they’d had with each other had ever felt this big before. Certainly nothing had ever made Fluttershy threaten to quit.
Rainbow needed this settled. She needed Windfall’s advice, and then she needed to figure out a plan. She needed things to be right, god damn it, she needed this to be okay.
She reached the tour bus and pulled open the door, stepping inside. She found Windfall there, as she had hoped, but he wasn’t alone.
Gilda sighed when she saw Rainbow. “Oh come on.”
She got up and tried to walk past Rainbow. “Gilda, wait.”
Gilda stopped and arched an eyebrow.
Rainbow had only a moment to think, Gilda or Windfall. She knew which of them she wanted to talk to, but running into Gilda here changed things. “I wanted to talk to you.”
“Alright, fine.”
Windfall stood up and walked past Rainbow, heading out of the tour bus. Rainbow stood in awkward silence for a moment after he left, until Gilda eventually asked, “So what’s up?”
Rainbow took a deep breath. “Look, I’m sorry about earlier. I did follow you into the room, and that was shitty of me.”
“Whatever.”
“No, not whatever! I’ve been a huge bitch to you since you joined this band, and I don’t want to be!”
Gilda turned away. “It’s fine.”
“It’s not. Look, I’m… I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”
“You said it, not me.”
Rainbow walked past Gilda to collapse into a seat. “Whenever Shy’s involved, I just get… I don’t know, overprotective.”
“That’s one way to put it.”
“I don’t want to be like this though!” Rainbow threw out her hands. “I know Shy trusts you, and she should! And so should I! I just…”
“Look, I get it.” Gilda leaned against the wall. “If anyone gets it, it’s me. You were the one who always had to look after Shy back in middle school. Probably high school too.”
Rainbow bowed her head. It was just like everyone kept telling her. “Yeah, but she doesn’t need me to look out for her anymore. Now I just make things worse.”
“Yeah, you do.” Gilda shrugged. “But it’s hard to get over things like that.”
“I don’t want things to be this way between us. I don’t want to be like this anymore. I… I don’t want to be the one who tries to protect Shy. Because… because she can do that herself now.”
“Well, it sounds like you have this figured out.”
Rainbow laughed. “No, I haven’t figured out shit. I just know I want to change, I don’t know how.”
“Fair enough. Guess you gotta sort that out for yourself though.”
“Yeah…” Rainbow sighed. “You’re probably pretty sick of me.”
“Sick of your shit, yeah. But you? Nah, you’re cool.”
Rainbow looked up uncertainly. “Even after all the crap I’ve been giving you?”
“Yeah. I know it’s all looking out for Shy. Or trying to.”
Rainbow sighed. “I think… I think I really hurt her. Not just this time, but… probably lots of times. She said it’s my fault she lost her girlfriend.”
“Ouch.”
“Yeah… And I’m just like… Shy broke up with her, you know? That wasn’t my decision. But then… it would have been. Maybe it really was my fault.”
“I don’t know, I wasn’t there. But in my experience, things are usually more than one person’s fault.”
“I always thought that was all one person’s fault.” Rainbow thought for a minute then smiled. “Her name was Sunset Shimmer, and we used to be good friends.”
“Oh yeah?”
Rainbow took a seat. “To tell you the truth, back when they first got together, I thought the world of Sunset. She was helping Fluttershy, and she was doing so much for her. Then… I don’t know, things got bad. And maybe… maybe it was more complicated than it just being Sunset’s fault.”
“I think it probably was.”
“Probably…”
Gilda walked over to the fridge and grabbed two bottles of water. She sat down beside Rainbow and handed her one.
“So…” Rainbow said, searching for something to say. “You and Limestone?”
Gilda blushed, which looked so out of place on her that Rainbow couldn’t even find it in her to make fun of it. “I guess…”
“She cool with you going on tour and stuff?”
“Yeah, we decided we’re gonna try the long-distance thing while I’m gone. Meanwhile, we’re not worried about sex and stuff now. An open relationship kind of thing.”
“Huh. Guess that works out.”
“Yeah. Tell you the truth, I’m not sure how I feel about it. I mean, I agreed to it, but I’ve always wanted to just have one partner, you know?”
“You have a girl waiting for you and can have all the sex you want. Sounds pretty sweet.”
Gilda rolled her eyes. “Are you ever gonna grow up?”
Rainbow chuckled. “Maybe someday. Not today though.”
“No, perish the thought.”
Rainbow chugged her water bottle, then crunched the bottle down and looked for a trash can to throw it into. There wasn’t one out in the open, so she had to get up and throw it in the pull out trash bin that the tour bus had.
She turned back to Gilda. “You ready to go back to the venue?”
“Yeah, alright.” Gilda stood up, and Rainbow followed as she led them out of the bus. “Hey, Dash?”
“Yeah?”
“Thanks.”
Rainbow stopped walking and cocked her head to the side. “For what?”
Gilda stopped as well and looked Rainbow in the eye. After a moment she smirked and punched Rainbow on the shoulder. “For being such an easy target!”
Rainbow blinked, then Gilda started running. After a moment, Rainbow broke into a grin and ran after her. “Get back here! I’ll kick your ass, Gil!”
“Running that slow? Not likely!” Gilda shot back.
Rainbow laughed as she ran, which slowed her down, but it didn’t matter. She wasn’t really trying to catch Gilda. All that mattered was that things were okay between them, and that things were going to stay that way.
~ End Act I ~