> Sunset, what do you want?
>  by DapperLilArts
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

> Sunset, how are you doing?
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Heya. Sunset Shimmer here. 

Honestly? I’m doing great.

I haven’t felt this happy and relaxed in– Actually, I've never felt like this. Considering I messed up being the pupil of what on Earth would translate to god, considering I tried haphazardly (and failed!) to get revenge on her and became a demon, considering I dedicated three years of my life to bullying teenagers in a world that was stranger to me, wow.

All of that feels like an eternity ago… And I suppose it’s almost a decade behind me– Wow, I'm SO different now- but I guess I feel different, too. Surrounded by friends, full of purpose– Like I'm walking on air! Like nothing’s weighing me down!

Living in the human world has treated me surprisingly well, all things considered! My apartment is what I'd very eloquently describe as “The coziest shithole you’ll ever see”, while my girlfriend would describe it as “Cozy”, but hey, rose colored glasses, heh.

Oh yeah; I'm dating Twilight Sparkle! Who knew, right? I should specify, the nerdy poindexter one, from earth, here. Human Twilight– Not Princess Twilight from Equestria. And it’s kind of hard to describe what an odd, yet surprisingly good couple we make– This stuttering mess of a nerd changed into a confident gal who isn’t afraid to speak her mind, and meanwhile, me, the biggest piece of shit you’d ever meet, somehow changed into a bonafide warrior of friendship and union. We kind of uplifted each other, and I couldn’t be happier, that with the absence of the Twilight of my world, I got to meet another.

It’s been almost two years, we started dating before graduating highschool, and despite all of us going our own ways, we’re still absolutely still in contact; a mere text away from a sleepover, heh.

And besides; My idea, we all enrolled in the same community college! I realized that all of us had fears of separation a while back; Especially considering our MANY diverging interests— Hell, my girlfriend is probably gonna be president someday; Which is starkly different from whatever any of my other friends would want. Such as running an unlicensed animal shelter, running a farm, being a fashion legend, or, as eloquently put by Rainbow Dash, “Play sports good”.

I’m not even covering Pinkie here– Whatever she becomes, it’ll be mighty.

Originally, me and Twilight were going to enroll in Everton University, a big prestigious one, incredibly hard for the average student to get into, though Twilight would have gotten in there easily. I guess she was thankful that I suggested something simpler, because it would keep the friend group together. We’re still waiting on our letters of admission, to see if all seven of us got into Canterlot Community College, but it’ll be any day now!

I do feel a little guilty about it, because I doubt a Community College will challenge Twilight– She is way too advanced. But she assured me a bunch, that all that mattered was that we were together. And hey, after college, why not go higher, and enter that University after all?

I suppose part of my choice was that I don’t really see myself in a professional field. I’m interested in the arts at the moment, but wow, it’s MUCH harder to make a living with that here than it is back on Equestria. Being in a band is wonderful, drawing and painting is awesome, but it’s hard to imagine me doing just one thing, and focusing on it. I guess adult human life eludes me.

Maybe being the president’s trophy wife is my future. I wouldn’t mind that.

Though I will say, Twilight is going to be amazing, whatever she chooses to do.

Oh! On assorted good news related to me– I’m jacked now! Not as much as Applejack, of course– That woman can bend steel beams with her grip; But I actually got pretty strong once I started working out and training a whole bunch, before highschool ended. Basically, I realized that with the absence of magic, (well, Unicorn magic. Not like– My weird mind reading/emotion based powers) I decided I needed to figure out some more combat adjacent abilities, since my powers are rarely applicable in a fight; Unlike the aforementioned Applejack, who is Applejacked. 

Come to think of it, my power is the only non-combat applicable one out of all of us. What a rip off– Twilight can levitate stuff, Applejack has super strength, Rainbow super speed, Rarity has a pretty damn flexible control of crystal barriers, Fluttershy can send hordes of birds to peck the eyes of her enemies, and Pinkie can straight up just blow up things with her mind!!

Can’t complain much though– If there’s one thing I learned after everything is that violence shouldn’t be my default solution to everything. Call it a plan B. Try the power of friendship first, and if that doesn’t work, break their kneecaps.

I’m only mostly joking.

Important to note, me and Twilight aren’t the only ones in the group that hit it off. For starters, Applejack and Rarity couldn’t keep their hands off each other since way before highschool ended, but they’ve at least admitted it publicly and gone steady! Meanwhile, Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy mostly keep it on the down low, but they’re very happy together– I think that we are the only ones that they told, too. Meanwhile, Pinkie is going through what I could only describe as her “Raging Polyamorous Bisexual” era, of which I cannot keep track of her partners, so I will not even attempt to here, but goddamn, I am happy for her.

Equestrian magic has been causing less threats lately, and even when it does, we are always ready to take care of it. I’m a bit mixed on it– Our adventures were always such a rush, I felt like what I was doing mattered, you know? Like… helping the world, helping people, it felt like something worth doing. It felt good. It felt true.

I can’t look a gift horse in the mouth though, (Really weird human saying!) Because if there’s less magical threats, that means me bringing magic into this world hopefully someday will stop being an issue. …Hopefully.

Oh yeah, speaking of horses, I still keep in touch with the Twilight Sparkle from my world! Actually, we talk almost daily– That book we share is great. It’s like texting but magical and impractical. You can't use emojis, you have to draw them. Truly an iconic human invention, though. Here check this out:

c:

Awesome, heh.

She visits me from time to time, which is hilarious, because all the things I have to show her are only interesting for pony standards. Like for example, I took her to this museum that me and my girlfriend had gone to a couple times (Of course she loves her museum dates, and I love that she loves them!) And I spent a significant amount of time explaining to the Princess the intricacies of how hilarious it is, that a Human artist once displayed in a museum, a toilet with his name signed on it.

She eventually came to realise how absolutely fucking hysterical it was, a critique to art being art itself, a meta take on what isn’t art being art itself, hell, my girlfriend nearly had an asthma attack explaining it to me the first time– And I don’t blame her, me and her, on that museum, laughing our asses off together, it was one of our best dates, but theres stiff competition on that front, heh.

I was actually drawing a portrait of her, before my phone buzzed tonight. I dropped my pencil and checked it out. “Getting home from the movies with my brother and Cadance now. Feeling nervous.”

If I were still a pony, my ears would have twitched seeing that. I immediately texted back. “Was the movie that bad? What happened?” I considered asking if this was something related to her brother and me, but realized it’d be dumb to ask, since me and Shining have been more than cool for a long time. He initially disapproved of his sister dating a badass chick with a motorbike, but once we started actually talking, (And Twilight invited me to one of her family’s game nights) He quickly grew to respect my authority and badassery.

Nah I’m just joking. Playing board games with my girl brought out my dorky side, and he quickly latched onto it with joy. We’re bros now– He’s a huge dork, much like his sister– We even game from time to time. And it also helps that Cadance was super approving of me and Twi as a couple; She really enjoys seeing Twilight happy!– I swear, I hope that Princess Cadance in Equestria isn’t this abrasive– Not in a bad way, but she once was like. So shamelessly trying to proudly and happily give me and Twilight some sort of private Sex Ed class, Poor Twilight nearly died of embarrassment that day.

The phone buzzing brought me back to reality, I didn’t have to wait much time for a response from Twilight, she quickly wrote “No no, the movie was great, wonderful directing and editing, even with flawed acting at times, and simple themes. I’m just planning on checking the mailbox when getting home, and you know…”

It’s fun to see some things never change, her worries are kind of cute sometimes. Gosh I hope that doesn’t sound bad. “Don’t worry Twi, I’m 100% positive we all got in– Specially you and me. Like c’mon our brains are huge! Yours especially. You’d get a strike every time if you bowled with it.” I mentally patted myself on the back for being capable of making human analogies.

And I patted myself on the back again, seeing her text back. “LOL. My autism powers are unmatched. All shall fear the wrath of Twilight Sparkle, huge brained!!!”

I couldn't help but imagine her silly evil grin while sending that text, and it sent me into a giggle fit. “Atta girl!!!” Was all I could text back before dropping my phone and letting out some hearty laughters.

The phone buzzed again, and I was quick to look at it. “OK I’m very close to home, talk to you soon!”

“Love you! Everything’s gonna be okay!” I write that, and I mean it. Honestly? Nothing at all can go wrong for us, at this point. We’ve faced so many threats together and only come out stronger.

I feel like for the first time– Which sounds sad but it really isn’t– For the first time, I look at my reflection, and I’m proud of the person I see. Not thinking of all the things I'm not, or all the things I could have been. 

Sunset Shimmer: Happy human and soon to be college girl. Sounds strange, but it’s true!

It sure is better than Sunset Shimmer: Disheveled pony renegade that failed to reach the throne of god in a vain hubris attempt to prove to the universe that she mattered.

Ugh. I'm just gonna stop trying to think of that now.

Speaking of ponies, I’ve been visiting the Princess often too, but not that much. It’s… It’s a lot, going back to Equestria. Being a pony again feels like crawling back in old skin. Having magic is amazing, always a rush, but… it feels like that world rejects me, like a bad taco on a friday night.

I guess you could describe me being exiled here as me being vomited out of Equestria.

Either way, she really enjoys running stuff by me! Things seem to be heating up in Equestria, with Celestia wanting to hand in the Reigns of the kingdom to her and stuff. Gotta say– I’m kind of glad that’s not me; But only a little. Girl’s nervous as hell. 

I suppose being near me is a good way to cool off her worries of Equestria, and I guess I’m not surprised, I'm literally the only other person or pony that could possibly relate to the anxieties of trying to live up to Celestia.

Actually, she was messaging me just now; She kinda fell asleep in the book last time or something; Let me check it out. 

I was drawing, but that can wait.





That sounds wonderful!

Yeah, not to brag, but I totally managed to win her another awesome stuffed toy. We will never suffer ‘The Great Parakeet Loss of Equestria Land’ ever again. If there is one benefit to working out? Boom. Easily obtaining plushies for my girl in carnival games.

What animal was it?

I honestly still can’t tell. If you squint, it looks like a Manticore?

Well that’s certainly bizarre! But nonetheless, it’s really nice to know you’re treating the other me very well.

Of course! I’m treating her like a Princess ;3

Ohhhh I get it, hihihi. Smooth! 

Let it be known that Sunset Shimmer’s got game– And that Twilight Sparkle is a cutie.

Thank you <3





I wasn’t talking about her, but honestly? I wouldn’t take it back. Twilight Sparkle is a cutie in every universe.





Here, I will try more of these “Emojis” too!        ( :

You’re a natural!


Thanks! And thank you for the distraction, by the way. It’s really nice to have something on my mind other than you know. The impending and quite-near ascension of me as the ruler of Equestria and stuff…!

Oof, yeah, that sounds… Rough. Like… You’re not even in your thirties. I hope Celestia knows what she’s doing…! No offense to you, of course. It’s just a huge responsibility! Sorry. 

None taken, don’t worry, I've managed to stave off worry by keeping myself busy. And yeah, just the other day Rainbow Dash demonstrated a similar sentiment; She told me “you should be at the club” Whatever that meant.

Almost comforting to know that girl is the same in both worlds.

Well… Now that you mention it, I am nervous. There was a lot I wanted to do as ‘Twilight Sparkle’, before you know… becoming ‘Princess Twilight Sparkle, the sovereign of the whole darn of Equestria!!’

Does Celestia know you haven’t even kissed anybody anypony? ‘Cause if I was her I’d delay the entire throne ascension before, and much like RD would say, you “get some bitches”

Oh my gosh I hadn’t even thought of that PLEASE tell me you’re not spreading that around!

Please, who do you think I am? I can keep a secret. It’s actually fun to keep the secrets of the Princess of another dimension. I feel all wise. Like some sort of secret advisor.

I could certainly use more of those right now. Every day that passes I feel a bit more like... Maybe I should be worrying more, maybe I should be not trying to be so calm about it?

Eh, you’re not giving yourself credit. You’re a far cry from the worry heart nerd you were when we first met!

And you’re a far cry from the villain of the week you were when we first met     :  )

Ouch, I was a season-finale villain at least!

Heheh, that you were. But you’ve changed!

Still though. Your thing. Ruling all of Equestria, huh…? All by yourself?

Well, I guess my friends will be around to help from time to time. As much as that logistically is utter nonsense, they all live in Ponyville right now, and me moving back to Canterlot will… Hurt. 

And I can’t help but envy Celestia and Luna, after all, they’ve had each other to lean on these past few years. And well, when I press on Celestia to learn what her mental state was when ruling for 1000 years alone, well, she’s usually a bit aloof about it.

Oh, gosh, that is awful! I can’t help but feel sad for Luna, too. Like, how many years has she actually been able to be a proper ruler of Equestria?  





And I felt bad for Celestia, too. A thousand years, alone, even I, pressing her on it back in the day, couldn’t get some very solid answers on how she felt about it.

But if I could summarize it from the experience of just observing her?

Bad.





Gosh, I hadn’t even considered Luna’s opinion on this, I wonder if that’s how she feels– Maybe I should ask her. Though she and Celestia do fight on minor things, so I don’t know if it’s a good idea…

I suppose there’s a small favor there, ruling alone is better than ruling with a sibling you’d bicker with often?

Neither of those two options sound appealing right now!

This is gonna sound weird coming from me, of all people, but I’m glad I’m not in your shoes. Horseshoes.

You’re not? But wasn’t this– How so?

I used to want to be a ruler of Equestria, I used to want to replace Celestia. When I got actual friends, I realized how damn lonely that would be– I value my mortality now, and I know my place, too.

Your place?

I don’t want to make this about me. How are you feeling?

It’s okay, I could use the distraction. What do you mean?

I was never worthy, I wasn’t good enough, is all I'm saying. It was all I ever wanted, but it just wasn’t meant to be. I’ve learned to accept that, and I've learned to prioritize. Being Sunset Shimmer in the human world has… A lot less worries than being Sunset Shimmer in Equestria. It almost feels… Peaceful, to know that I don’t belong anywhere in Equestria.

That’s super unfair to you, don’t you think? You’ve changed so much!! You could absolutely be a wonderful Princess!

Eh, I doubt it, and I'm super happy with who I am now, but that doesn't change the fact I’m not worthy, you know? I don’t want to make this about myself. Sorry! You don’t have to worry, I'm pretty happy here.

Sunset Shimmer will live a happy life in another world, and then she will die. Happily ever after hahah.

I didn’t mean that in a bad way at all sorry, it just came out weird.

…

Sparkles?

You must have gone to sleep. Good night! ^u^







Oh, these were the messages from a day or two ago, here’s the new message! I got distracted reading the old ones.

I briefly took a glance outside, the sun had already set, and with time flowing similarly in our worlds, I could tell she was likely tired after a long day.





SORRY! Sorry– Threats to Equestria happened, it was NUTS, a whole thing!! Ugh, right when I was writing for you, and right before my coronation too—

Damn! Is everything okay? You don’t have to talk if you can’t! Prioritize and stuff!

Oh no, I WANT to talk. Remember Discord? He just powered up three villains– Chrysalis, Tyrek, and even Cozy Glow– All because he wanted to make my coronation more “Epic!” 

Cozy glow?! The Racist baby was in on it too?!

YEAH!!!!! 

That is just deranged, I’m so sorry.

Discord  just caused us SO much trouble, nearly endangered all of Equestria, and we only just BARELY beat all those three together. Ugh. I am SO stressed right now, but at least we turned the three bad guys into stone, so that’s a huge threat dealt with– They almost set Earth Pony/Pegasi/Unicorn relationships back by a MILLENIA!! I can’t believe I had to spend my pre-coronation day untangling racial tensions, ugh!

WOW. Just saying, if I was Princess? I would have made Discord into stone again if he didn’t promise to shape up– That’s what, the fifth time he’s caused crises, AFTER reforming?

I know, right?! I’m LIVID! How can I even focus on what’s meant to be an Important day for me, if these kinds of insane crises keep happening!! …Well, at least my coronation was delayed.

I think it is really important to break down the barriers between the three pony kind at this point, too. It’s ridiculous that all of our standings are so fragile, after so long. This is why it’s always nice to visit Ponyville, everyone everypony’s just living together! It’s just crazy that some of us STILL think we’re above the others!

I know, right? Ugh, I'm the Princess of Friendship, I should be able to solve messes like these easily!!

Another thing too– All these threats to Equestria need to be more easily handled than by having a specific group of ponies needing to deal with them at all times– What happens when one of you has a sick day? “Sorry, world’s ending because Fluttershy got a case of the sniffles so we can’t fire the friendship laser beams at the bad guy.” This is one of the reasons I idolized Celestia so much when I was a foal– She slayed Titans and cut their bodies into pieces and spread them around tartarus, all by herself! Relying on friends is wonderful, and I could write a book about it, but it’s always good to have a plan B. Even if that plan B is violence.

…Go on

Twilight Sparkle, are you writing these down? Are you cheating off of me on Princess ideas?

…No

For shame. Princess Twilight Sparkle. You, of all ponies, cheating off my answers to a test? For shame!

You have good ideas okay!!

I’m just messing with you, don’t worry. Cheat away. So how are you feeling?

…Well…

…I kept thinking of what you said about mortality, and after everything that happened, I feel like I’m gonna be sick– I’m going to outlive all my friends. They’re going to grow old and die, and I’ll be ruling alone. The Princess of Friendship will lose all her friends to time.

…

No friendship rainbow lasers then, am I right?





Her writing got a lot scribbler, a lot messier. I could instantly tell that she was, at the very least, crying while putting that in the paper. 

I kind of wished that I could just– Teleport to Equestria whenever I needed to. Unfortunately a trip to the mirror is still an inconvenient short motorbike ride away, and I had to prepare to go every time.

But still.






Do you need me to come over? Do you need a hug?

No no no! It’s okay, my friends are nearby. I can just ask them for company if I need to.

Are you absolutely sure? I can bring human snacks. A human board game, too. A human book of sciences and/or history maybe? It is no trouble at all, I promise. If you need me, I’m there.





She took a while to respond to this one. I looked at the page intently, and I felt a bit… Tense. Like I was ready to run a marathon if I needed to.

Which I suppose I was, in a way.

Any Ideas of me going back to drawing were quickly shafted aside, as I stared at the pages of the book waiting for her response. Her hesitation surprised me. Was she considering it? Or was it something else she was thinking about? 




…It’s okay. I’ll be okay. I think I hope.

If you’re absolutely sure, then I'm sure. I hope that this gets easier on you. It's a great responsibility, but I know you can do it. I bet your friends believe in you just as much as I do. 

You’re Princess Twilight Sparkle! If you managed to make even Sunset Shimmer act nice and proper, then there’s nothing you can’t do! We all believe in you.

…Maybe faith isn’t what I need…






My phone buzzed, and I snapped out of it, I was nearly in a trance with writing. I got some messages from Twilight, on our group chat with all our friends! She said she checked her mail and got a letter from Canterlot Community College, and that we should check ours too. After blinking a couple times, I jumped out of my chair, and ran to my doorway.

Before leaving, I quickly messaged the group chat, and sent a simple “Oh shit will check!! <3” 

Just in time to see that Applejack got hers too, followed by Fluttershy. Pinkie and Rainbow are the most likely to be distracted– Likely with gaming, Something I would have absolutely joined, if it wasn’t for my Princess priority moments before, and if Rarity did not reply, she’s most likely with AJ right now, I can’t blame her, I was busy too; And I was also drawing this really cool portrait– I’ll think about it later.

I pocketed my phone and bolted; Forgetting I was in my pajamas, but honestly, I don’t even care, there’s nothing revealing about them.

As I ran down the stairs of my apartment building, I felt kind of a reverse rush– Like I had gotten up too fast. I was so concerned by Princess troubles, I forgot for a moment those problems were a dimension away. And they aren’t even Sunset Shimmer problems!

Do you ever watch a long movie in the cinema, and when you come out, you forget you were even alive, because you were so invested? That’s how it felt.

I shook my head and took a deep breath, as I reached my cluster box thing. It looks like a locker, I don’t understand the distinction– Also they serve the function of mail boxes, so like. What? I think some people call them “Units”, but it beats me.

It’s funny. I was so involved in Equestrian troubles I forgot, for a moment, my own, or lack thereof. 

Sunset Shimmer has no Equestrian troubles! Sunset Shimmer is a swag-tastic human, as her good friend Rainbow Dash likes to say, and she is doing damn well nowadays, with no pony troubles whatsoever! Apart from the occasional brawl with Equestrian magic, I’m graduated, I’m happily dating a girl I wouldn’t mind spending the rest of my life with, and I have a semi-comfortable apartment to live in. Things couldn’t be going better for Sunset Shimmer the human!!

After standing a bit like a dumbass in the atrium of my building, the phone buzzing near my ass snapped me out of it, and I opened my mailbox already.

A letter. 

Hell yeah.

Grabbed it, just to be sure, it indeed had “Canterlot Community College” In it! Another hell yeah.

I took some bills that were in my mailbox too for good measure; Why is it that humans are always having to pay for things? It feels like I’m bleeding money everyday, sheesh.

Grinning madly, I picked up my phone and added my own text to the conversation, not before snickering at a messy text from Pinkie in the chat, undoubtedly a result of her answering while gaming. “Wikk chenck ASAP!!”

And of course, I quickly added my own. “Got my letter!!! So how we doing this, opening individually, or together?”

I reconsidered standing in the atrium in my pajamas, and started the slow trek upstairs while keeping an eye out for messages.

And sure enough, my girl answered quickly! “We can all open individually, I don’t mind!”

But funny enough, I immediately got a DM from her. “I want to open my letter with you, if that’s okay?”

I let out a snicker that echoed in the staircase– That’s my girl, she’s still a bit of a worry heart at times. “Sure babe! How about tomorrow? We could go eat together somewhere!”

Her next text appeared really fast, like she had it fully ready before I even finished typing out mine. “How about now? I could go spend the night over!”

I’ve got to admit, that put a biiiiig grin on my face. ‘Sleepovers’ with Twilight were wonderful. Don’t get me wrong, I love my friends, but when we’re having one-on-one time together is when she’s at her absolute cutest. And hey– I can easily sacrifice whatever I was doing for her comfort, without a question.

“That sounds awesome!! Want me to pick you up? I could get ready in 30.” With a bit of clumsiness, I finally reached my floor– I get now why some humans hate phones, texting while walking is a real tripping hazard. 

And just like that, her response was fast again. “Full disclosure, I am already back on my brother’s car, I asked him to bring me over.”

Gosh, even just a text from her makes me laugh like a dumbass. All I can reply is “Lol. Lov u” before having to put my phone down and lean on a wall to laugh some more. Of course she had already pre planned everything, and beautifully, she was imposing. A far cry from the stuttering nerd she was when we first met.

After composing myself, I took a deep breath and texted one more time before stepping back into my apartment. “I’ll await your chariot, my lady. May you arrive post haste with two steps of a fortnite.”

“Isn’t that the video game Pinkie was playing? Also lol love you too.” Her responses were quick– I always enjoyed that. It felt like I was a priority of hers– and that made me feel really good.

Before I replied, while standing in my living room, I noticed two things. 

1 - I am still in my very unsexy pajamas.

2 - The book I used to contact the other Twilight was glowing a lot.

I felt a tinge of anxiety for a moment, even if just a little. I had completely forgotten I was in a conversation with the Princess– I didn’t even say brb or anything, what an idiot.

I quickly texted my girl “Talk to you soon, I’m gonna get ready!” And put my phone down. 

First order of business, get out of my unsexy pajamas, and wear the ‘Sunset Shimmer Special’. Meaning, one of my awesome classic leather jackets, matched with cool jeans, cool boots, and cool shirts. And some spiked bracelets help too! Cool all the way.

Second order of business, stop being a dumbass and go check on the Princess. I practically leaped into my couch, grabbing the book.

But then I stopped, seeing the halfway-done drawing that I had rested on the living room table.

It was a drawing of Twilight– My Twilight, based on a picture that Pinkie had taken of us while we were in the middle of laughing at a joke she told. I was so fond of how her face looked, the adorable wrinkles of her smile, the way her glasses were poorly adjusted as she threw her face forward with laughter, I just had to draw it.

And I used only coloring pencils, too! I was trying something new– But I was still missing half of her face, though.

I shifted my look between the drawing and the book.

I hid the drawing away, so Twilight wouldn’t see my unfinished work, and picked up the book.





…Sunset?

Sunset are you there?

I got an idea. It’s a bit crazy. But I hope you’ll love it.

Hello? Sunset?

Are you okay?

…Please?

SORRY! Sorry something came up. We just got our letters of college admissions– My Twi is coming over to open them together now!


Are you feeling better? Are you okay?

What’s your crazy idea?

Hello?

Well, what if you and me Actually don’t worry about it. I'll tell you about it later!

How are you feeling? Again, so sorry for disappearing.

I’m a bit better now, I’m glad you didn’t get swallowed by a giant plant monster brought to life by Equestrian magic or something, I was a bit worried there…!

Heh please, I’m Sunset Shimmer. Giant monsters couldn’t digest me. I’d chew my way out if need be.

Hihi. well put. I believe you!

Sorry to cut this short, but my Twi will show up soon. Are you sure you’re okay?

I am now, yes. Thank you so much for caring about me. I won’t keep you, don’t worry, I need to go share my idea with Celestia and my friends anyway.

Celestia too? Huh, that must be a really bonkers idea. Good luck and good night, Princess!

Oh, and for the record, you can always count on me. I care about you a lot.

Thank you. For everything. Good luck and good night to you too, Sunset.





I let out a sigh of relief. At least my friend wasn’t having a panic attack due to my absence– I know she wouldn’t, she’s tough as hell– But I don’t ever want to leave Twilight in the dust.

Doing a groaning stretch, I stood up, and scanned the environment, making sure everything was tidy-ish.

Full disclosure, tidying up my apartment isn’t something I do per-se, but it does look so much better now that I have friends. I got posters of bands and shows that we bought together, I even have one of us! The Rainbooms!

Rarity helped me with decoration too, there’s some really lovely Holiday lights hanging around the ceiling and on the furniture, I always have them on at this hour instead of the brighter lights.

Generally, my favorite part is the pictures. I have so many pictures of all of us hanging around, and of course, even more of just me and Twilight. I get to see the bonds I've made everyday, and everyday it makes me smile.

I guess that definitely distracted me though, because I heard Twilight’s polite knock on the door, and then her fumbling with the spare key I gave her. 

Were I still a pony, my tail would have wagged like crazy.

I promise I did not attempt to find a cool position to be leaning in for when she saw me. This time, I instead ran to the door like a puppy. I could barely say “I’m here!” before she opened the door sooner than I could.

I have to say, she looks so much better than when we first met– And I don’t mean that in the sense that she looked bad in the friendship games, she’s always been adorable and really cute– But she’s eating better. She’s smiling every day, and she’s surprisingly very physically affectionate too!

I feel like I've unlocked a new version of Twilight, one that has much less worries, one that, like me, is lighter than air.

Her smile increased in intensity the moment our eyes met, and even more when I opened my arms offering a hug.

Comically, she dismissed the hug, instead leaping forward and kissing me– I was prepared though, another benefit to being buff, my girl is weightless to me. It does help that she’s short, It was a half hug half kiss, but I couldn’t care less.

So, remember my strange mind reading/emotion powers? They’re kind of active even without my geode now, in fact, that geode only serves to enhance them. But if I want to feel how a person feels, it depends only on how hard they’re feeling it; And of course, physical contact.

Suddenly any pretense of distaste for my powers having no combat applicability just melted away. Because whenever my girlfriend touches me, I can feel her love for me emanating out of her skin. And it’s one of the best damn feelings I could ever feel.

It’s kind of funny. If I didn’t lean in, or she didn’t pull me down, she would need to be on top of a stool to kiss me. I like being tall. It’s adorable.

And of course, as we kissed, she was feeling something very much, she was thinking about something very much.


I love you!


I can’t help but break into a snicker while we kissed, forcing myself to pull away, and she giggled just as much. “S-sorry, did it happen again?”

“I love you too, Sparkles.” Yeah. This happens a lot. And no, I will never complain about it.

But of course, all good things must come to a pause, as we both did rehearsed motions. I closed the door of the apartment, offered her water, while she placed her backpack on the couch, and comfortably and cutely hugged one of the plushies resting there while watching me walk about. (The plushie in question being a Phoenix I aptly named Philomena, in honor of you-know-who.)

After handing her a glass of water, I took a seat next to her, putting a casual arm over the couch. I reached into my pocket, and removed my letter from it. “So, these letters, when do you wanna…”

But before I could finish, both of our eyes were naturally guided to the book I use to communicate with the Princess, who glowed slightly, from a message I just received.

Her interest certainly peaked, while I couldn’t help but sigh. After taking a quick swig of water, she placed the cup on the end table. “Oh, were you talking to the Princess just now?”

“Yeah, Equestrian troubles, the world almost ended, anxiety over taking the throne, stuff like that. Nothing for us to worry about, though! She took care of it and is doing good.” Is it selfish to not want to talk about it much? Those problems are so big, and yet none of them are mine. If they were mine, I wouldn’t hesitate to share– But there’s a literal barrier between me and them, and a really cute girl right in front of me! Why would they matter to us?

Besides, if Equestria blew up because of a random bad guy, all it would take is a sledgehammer to the mirror portal to ensure Earth’s safety.

Okay. That was incredibly selfish to even think. I apologize.

Better thing to think about: Twilight’s delighted giggles. “Hihi. I’m glad I'm not her!” She said, with the most amount of sarcasm that an adorable nerd could muster. “Ah yes, Twilight is glad that she isn’t Twilight!” I added to it, with my own set of snickers.

“Do you want to reply?” She quickly pointed at the book. I guess I did? But I also didn’t. “Eh, I already told her goodnight before you showed up, I’m sure it can wait. Besides, she saved the day again! I’m sure that after singing a song with her friends she’ll be fine.” She did seem very frazzled, but I got faith in Twilight Sparkle. She’s incredibly intelligent and strong, not to mention resourceful, I'm sure whatever crazy idea she had, was world changing.

“Besides” I continued, brandishing the letter in my hand. “We got more important things right now!”

We both took a moment to appreciate how casually I implied that applying to college is more important than a magical world nearly being doomed.

I mean hey, technically, not our world, not our problem, right?

…Was that selfish too?

…Is it selfish of me to want to avoid Equestria like that…?

…No. ’Want’ has nothing to do with it. I’d be there now, if I could.

I’d be there now, if Twilight had asked.

Poor Philomena got squished, because Twilight leaned forward and kissed me, and that plush Phoenix’s sacrifice was not in vain, because I quite enjoy being kissed by my girl.

Both of our phones buzzed, and I was about to reach for it, but Twilight quickly placed a hand over mine. “That’s probably the group chat, talking about the letters they received.” 

“You don’t wanna…?” I tilted my head, analyzing her way of thinking– Which sometimes was a losing battle, that big brain of hers thought a million thoughts per minute.

“First, you and me!” She spoke in a giddy whisper, standing up, leaving Philomena behind. I quickly followed suit, brandishing my letter, and she reached for hers at the same time. “Together!”

I’ll be honest, I had no anxieties about this. If this was Everton University we were signing on to, I know I’d have to try 110% to come even close to applying, and I would definitely feel a tinge of fear, knowing my girlfriend would easily get in, and I might be left behind due to my own incompetence.

But this was just a Community college– The only possible anxiety would have been over the possibility of one of our friends not getting in, and even then!

But it was impossible not to be excited, when we both opened our letters and saw that our applications were accepted. It was impossible not to be excited, because she was excited.

We held both hands together and giddily did a clumsy dance, an act that in the past I would have been embarrassed over, but now? I cherished it.

“We’re in we’re in we’re IN!!” She giddily proclaimed, and, entering on a half-embrace with me, she quickly levitated her phone off her backpack, to check on the group chat.

Holding each other, we both regarded her phone, while seeing the replies together.




Fluttershy: I got mine ❤️ It says I’m in! How about all of you? ❤️

Applejack: I got mine, And I'm in too! Rarity says–

Rarity: I’ll check mine when I make it home!

Rainbow: You two are in the same place aren’t you. Typical

Applejack: She told me to tell you no

Rainbow: LOL

Applejack: Darnit

Rainbow: I’m in too btw! Got the letter and checked it, the Dash is approved for entry to Canterlot Community College! Let the swaggiest years of our lives begin 😎

Fluttershy: That’s great, Sweetie! ❤️

Rainbow: Thanks babe-a-tron 5000 😎

Rarity: Don’t worry about me darlings, Applejack is taking me home, it’ll be the first thing I check.

Rainbow: Right after you check out your girl’s ass lol 👀

Rarity: Applejack told me to tell you she will give you a wedgie for that one.

Rainbow: I apologize

Rarity: Good. She’s reconsidering.





With a snicker, Twilight started typing out too. And she typed in this really cute way; she levitated her phone and used her pointing finger with one hand only, remaining in my embrace.





Twilight: Me and Sunset both got ours! We’re both in!

Rainbow: Speaking of lovebirds lol

Twilight: Anyone heard from Pinkie Pie? Where is she?

Rainbow: Oh crap forgot– She’s in the middle of a killstreak rn, lemme game chat her real quick

Fluttershy: adhfdhdfjfdhp[ ´pl. 46554

Fluttershy: Sorry ❤️ Angel bunny walked on my laptop again ❤️

Rainbow: Ok Pinkie has been notified. Pinkie bomb in 3, 2, 1,

Pinkie: HEY CUTIEPIES GUESS WHOS IN ITS YOUR NUMBER 1 PARTY GIRL OFFICIALLY READY FOR COLLEGE LIFE SWAG YOLO etc

Rainbow: There you go lol

Pinkie: Now if you will all excuse me, I have some more noobs to crush. Salute emoji WAIT Sunset you forgot a jacket in my place. You must reclaim it post haste or I will henceforth stretch it with my epic wearing of it

Twilight: Sunset says she’s not that worried, she’ll pick it up sometime!

Pinkie: AWESOMETASTIC Okidoki off I go

Rarity: Okay darlings we made it! Good news, I’m in too! Now brb me and AJ have to take care of a thing.

Rainbow: Oh you’ll take care of a thing alright

Rarity: 👁️👁️

Rainbow: Sorry

Twilight: That’s everybody, then! Wonderful!! We have to celebrate together soon!! I’m so happy!





With one fluid motion, Twilight levitated her phone back into her backpack, and hugged me tightly, making an adorable sound of excitement that turned to delighted squeaks when I hugged her back.

Can you blame me for finding joy in squeezing my girlfriend like a rubber ducky at times?? She’s so darn adorable!

And wow, I can feel her excitement on my skin; kissing her is like sparks. I couldn’t be happier. “This calls for a celebration. I’ve got just the idea!” I smiled at her, and her smile got nearly mischievous.

We both talked in unison, but I talked first.

“PIZZA!”

“SEX!”

Silence, I paused– She bit her lips while flustering; Face reddening fast.

“What?”

“Pizza. I said pizza. What you said” She quickly corrected, failing to keep composure.

Okay I feel like I need to justify why I laughed so hard I fell on the floor here– I need to justify why this was endlessly amusing to me. This cute little nerd, who was always sheepish about so many things when we started our relationship; With us taking it as slow as possible for her comfort, and I couldn’t be happier. For her, two years later, to proudly request sex as celebration, after she conveniently wormed her way in my apartment with the college application excuse– It made me realize this might have been all planned and I just lost it.

Don’t get me wrong, we’ve done it plenty of times before, but this was so funny it had me on the floor. She fidgeted nervously, her face as red as a tomato. “Well now I'm horny AND hungry…” She muttered, which only served to make my laugh harder; It’s a good thing I wasn't the one with asthma– Because I could have died laughing this hard.

Finally, after catching my breath, I motioned with my hands, in request of her helping me up– But of course, I purposefully pulled her down to me, cushioning her fall. Quickly planting a kisses on her neck and cheek, I tried my best to not continue laughing as I spoke to her. “We can have both. I don’t mind.”

Her immense flustering was always endlessly entertaining to me, as I adjusted her glasses and moved hair away from her eyes. “Pizza first, though.” I stated plainly, and still holding her, I hoisted us both up (that’s right, I’m strong as hell) pushing us both onto our feet. 

I made my way to the phone in my apartment; taking a card that I stuck to the fridge that had the number of the most reliable pizza place I knew. And much to my amusement, Twilight shuffled around following me, staying as close as possible while making her usual flustered squeaking noises.

The rest of the night went just as well, and goddamn did it feel good. Sunset Shimmer really can’t stop winning!

After the Pizza, and after we both had some fun, we settled down on the couch; Twilight brought a little soundbox with her and played some calming music from her phone– She always liked the white noise, especially when she’s studying, winters at her home are specially nice because she has a lovely fireplace she likes reading next to. And of course, I've sat together with her on those calming nights. It's super cute.

And we were in a really cozy position, too. We were both in our pajamas, she was on my lap, gaming on a portable console of hers– This two screened thing, paired up with a touch screen too, pretty incredible! And she was showing me her sick gaming skills while I rested my head on the crook of her neck, with my arms comfortably embracing her. Perks of being tall and big? Many. This is one of them.

It was a really cool game about an angel fighting the forces of evil or something, guided by a goddess– The plot was simple, but the dialogue was sharp and witty– but the best part? Twilight was a master at it, even on hard difficulties, no matter how modest she was about it, it was a wonderful show to watch her play and explain at once. “And here, you can see the best example of horizontal game design! The characters are all commenting not only on plot events, but on events that are happening in the background of the stage right now, a stage that is akin to a roller coaster, and they’re even commenting on the enemies I’m fighting AND the music is perfectly accentuating every action in this roller coaster!! It’s so cool!!” She managed to gush, while keeping perfect pace with the action of the game. 

I couldn’t help but snicker– I was paying attention, but gosh, she was so cute when infodumping. “Holy crap, they thought of everything, the design is super intricate. I also appreciate the animation on his wings too, they’re awesome!” I managed to speak, while containing myself not to kiss her wildly.

“Oh yes, the models are low polygon for the limited hardware, but they are incredibly well animated. And not to mention, impeccably designed–” I had to interrupt her with a kiss, she was just TOO cute. “Sorry Sparkles. I just love it when you explain stuff like that.” I smiled mischievously at her; And I used every fiber of my being to contain myself from blowing raspberries on her.

Keeping her composure as best she could, she gave me a cute pout. “Because I am an unmatched gamer, kisses do not disturb my gameplay.” It was almost spoken with pride, endlessly amusing to me.

“Is that a challenge?” I raised an eyebrow, and spoke almost like a defiant growl. 

She paused her game with an awkward flustered smile. “Actually, no, I’m on the hardest difficulty, I better not!!” And quickly kissed me, and only unpaused the game when she was properly satisfied.

Another instance of me loving my powers– Being this close to someone that loves me is warm and tingly; Even when I'm not reading her mind, her comfort becomes my comfort, her love becomes my love. It’s wonderful, and it’s warm.

Unpausing, she quickly snickered. “These flight stages are so cool.... Did you ever fly like this when you were a pony?”

I blew raspberries. “Nah, that’s for Alicorns and Pegasi, I’m an Unicorn, remember?” I guess she must have felt me shudder slightly, because her voice was more careful, and her feelings thread lightly– Realizing it was a sensitive topic for me.

“Oh, sorry, that spring break was so long ago… Do you miss being an Unicorn?” She spoke earnestly and quietly, lowering the volume of the game.

My eyes were fixed on the angel in the game, flying around, blasting enemies with grace and agility; All while being guided by a goddess. “I guess kinda. Magic wasn’t situational when I was an Unicorn– It was part of me; Every inch of me had it. And it felt good. Equestria in general feels completely different from here.” I guess I did downplay my homesickness here– Not homesickness. Pony Sickness? Missing being a Unicorn?

I’ll admit something. Sometimes, on free days, usually during vacations or holidays, If I don’t have anything scheduled with the girls…

I take a trip through the mirror. Not to visit Twilight. Not to visit anypony there. I just stand alone in that library room, and use magic.

I do it because magic was such a part of me, it’s like a phantom limb, and I just love it. I don’t want to forget what it felt like, no matter how good life gets here.

Also one nightmare night I snuck into the mirror and rearranged all of Twilight’s furniture in multiple rooms as a prank. She sent me a message later about the possibility of hauntings happening in her castle, and that her friends were all investigating it together. Best prank ever.

For a moment, I forgot what I had even told my Twilight– About the two worlds being different.

“Hm. Different good, or different bad?” She tilted her head slightly, leaning it on mine.

I let out a snicker, not sure how to answer. “Loaded question.”

“Sorry…” She didn’t stutter at least, and I didn’t want to make her uncomfortable at all, so I just quietly and affectionately played with her hair, making sure she knew she wasn’t bothering me.

My eyes kinda blurred, entranced by the game, my mind wandered elsewhere. “It’s okay, the wings thing is definitely something I think about. If I had succeeded at being Celestia’s pupil, I would have earned them. I would have become an Alicorn, like the other you. Just wasn’t meant to be, though…”

She nodded subtly, signaling her understanding. She smiled cutely at me. “Well if I can’t say I’m that sad about it... If you had succeeded, we never would have met!” 

Nuzzling me, she made me giggle. It was a really sweet sentiment, and she was definitely right. My failures brought me success.

Speaking a bit softer, she asked me a question I wasn’t ready to answer. “...Do you wish you could have…?”

I couldn’t answer that truthfully. Though I suppose I would have answered “My wishes and my wants were never relevant.” Or something to that effect. But lucky me, I didn’t have to answer, because we both noticed the book glowing on the end table. It looked like Twilight had sent me another message.

“Damn, this late?” I tilted my head in surprise; The sun had set ages ago, in fact, it was past our bedtime.

Twilight paused her game, and with her telekinesis, brought the book and one of my pens closer to my arms. “Oh, you should answer this time. It could be important!”

I scratched my chin, and almost let out an “Awww” When she left my embrace to play on the other side of the couch, sitting in the cutest position, not before scratching my chin and jaw. And I have to reiterate that if I was a pony now, my tail would have wagged like crazy. “Go on, the Princess needs you!”

“Alright, alright.” I smiled, and couldn’t help but fluster a bit.

I took a breath and opened the book, hoping there wasn’t an emergency once more. 





Greetings, Sunset Shimmer. This is Celestia.

Are you there? Please respond at your earliest convenience. Sincerely, Celestia.

Wow Twi– That’s a really good imitation of Celestia’s handwriting, I’m impressed! Is everything okay?

Hello again, Sunset Shimmer. It pleases me to be able to speak with you again. This is Celestia, Twilight lent me her book temporarily so I may contact you directly.





I couldn’t help but facepalm. Not only had I left my old mentor on read for hours, since Twilight had arrived, but then I actually couldn’t tell it was actually her like a dumbass.

“Everything okay?” Twilight spoke, without averting her eyes from the game, but having noticed my facepalm.

“It’s, uh, I just, wow. It’s not Twilight, It’s Celestia.” I kind of stumbled on my words a bit, almost akin to a foal learning she’s just been grounded.

Here’s the thing, Celestia has forgiven me. But I don’t… Go out of my way to contact her. I don’t think I'll ever outgrow the shame of how I acted as her pupil, much less my past actions defying her. It’s like, many steps above embarrassment. It’s a deeply rooted shame that rarely comes up.

“Oh gosh, she’s not mad at you or something, is she?” Twilight averted her eyes off her game, in genuine concern.

“No no, at least I don’t think so. I’ll uh. Check what she wants. Carefully.” My hand held the pen firmly, and I considered every word before writing, but
 at the same time, presumed that acting casually was the best choice..





That’s nice! It’s good to hear from you, Princess Celestia. Is everything okay? Is Twilight alright?

Hello, yes, she is okay, she looks a bit nervous, but otherwise is fine. Are you in a position to speak at the moment? Or are you preoccupied? Sincerely, Celestia.

If by speaking you mean writing here, I’ve got time, yes! Did something happen?

Excellent. Sunset Shimmer, as you may know, Twilight’s coronation has been postponed for a few weeks, considering the repairs required to be made to Canterlot and my castle. However, a celebration of her victory is in order, and the grand galloping gala is tomorrow, so both festivities will be united into one event.

Wow! That’s really good! I hope you all have a wonderful time!

You are cordially invited to participate in the celebration as Twilight Sparkle’s plus one, Sunset Shimmer. Would you be free to attend the grand galloping gala tomorrow? Kindly, Princess Celestia. 





I have to admit, that invitation shocked me. Not only due to its magnitude, not only due to its timing, but also from who it was coming from.

It would be incredibly impolite to decline, and above all, Twilight specifically wanted me there, apparently. I felt a bit nervous considering it, since it was a pretty big deal– After all, I’ve been to the grand galloping gala before, more than once, when I was a student of Celestia, and it was no joke.

Well it was a joke, but not exactly the funny kind. Stuffy ponies, stuffy conversations, great for cementing your image and manipulation, but for the new Sunset Shimmer? It’s kind of completely beyond me.

My eyes landed on my girlfriend who casually played on her console, sometimes making quiet  “Yeah!” sounds and celebratory squeaks.





Yes, I believe I could. Can I bring somepony with me?





She was taking a bit long to reply, so I decided to just ask the cutie next to me. “Hey Sparkles. I’ve been invited to the grand galloping gala. Wanna come with?” I'll be honest, I expected her to say no– Big events aren’t her thing. Besides, she never jumps on the chance of being a pony again.

She paused her game, looking at me in surprise. “W-woah, the big event thingy? Back home?”

I nodded, alternating between her and the book, with no response yet. “Yep, the big fancy one. Apparently Celestia wants me there, and I'm asking if I can bring you too.” 

Fidgeting with the stylius, she suppressed the urge to bite it, and looked at the floor. “Is it bad if I say no? Those big events are a bit much for me, especially in a magical world and stuff… I’d be completely out of my element! Besides, I don’t feel like walking around on all fours again anytime soon.”

Her candidness amused me, and I wasn’t bothered at all. I could live without an anchor, for just one night. After how good I felt these past months, how bad would one festivity in Equestria be?

I’ve lived through worse parties here on earth. My ability to not stand out rivals my ability to absolutely stand out. It’s merely a matter of choice.

When you’re humbled into oblivion and have to rebuild your image, you learn to not make your presence known. Blend into the background..

I looked back down to the book, surprised to see a delayed response.





I am afraid you cannot bring a plus one, Sunset Shimmer. But it would please us greatly if you came either way. Sincerely, Princess Celestia.

It’s okay! I’m free to go, don’t worry. I was just wondering. Thank you very much for the invitation, Princess Celestia. I’ll see you there!

I am incredibly pleased to know you will be visiting. Twilight Sparkle will notify you at the proper time of arrival. Missing you, Princess Celestia.

I’ll see you there! Thank you very much for the invitation. I miss you too.





I couldn’t help but chuckle in delight. After all this time, Celestia wouldn’t mind seeing me again… Gosh, that felt good. It felt really, really good.

Maybe stepping back into Equestria for a bit wouldn’t be so bad.

I closed the book with a smile, and placed it on the table. “Welp. It’s official. I'm going to a horse party.”

Twilight must have caught on to my tone, cause she laughed back. “Sounds like it’ll be fun, then? I’m imagining pony you in a poofy dress and it’s amusing, hihi.”

“Pff nope, the only person that gets me on a dress is rarity, no thank you. I’m wearing my usual!” I have to admit, if I wasn’t being asked to go by the two most important ponies in Equestria, I wouldn't even consider it. It also matters that those two ponies matter to me a lot.

There was a brief quiet, where she scratched her cheek, game paused, then looked me in the eye. “Since you’re gonna be in Equestria, are you going to try to visit your parents?”

That’s bold of her to ask. And it’s not a gut punch, it’s the kind of question I’d expect. But I haven’t seen my parents in nearly a decade. They’re better off thinking I’m dead, after everything I did. “Nah. Don’t see the point– It’d be way out of the way. One night in Canterlot doesn’t mean I’d travel everywhere, Equestria’s pretty big. Besides, I’d miss the hell outta you if I stayed there for more days.” I finished with a smile, resting my head on the couch cushions, but maintaining eye contact.

“It’s okay. I won’t press you over it, I was just wondering.” I know that tone, she’s curious for more. I’d be foolish not to give her more, but…

“I’m a world apart from them, there’s no real point. They’re better off thinking I’m dead. Trust me.”

Seeing my parents again would be a chore. And not just that. It would be unnecessary grief. Hi mom, hi dad. I’ve been in another world for nearly ten years now– I’m a magical girl living in a shitty apartment, sorry but I have to go back to being a world apart from you, being in Equestria reminds me of when I was a horrible piece of shit. Bye!

Though Twilight was right on something. I got to meet her parents, and they love me. But she might never meet mine.

She nodded quietly, in understanding. “I trust you. I just hope you’re doing what’s best for you… Either way. Here’s hoping no trouble happens in the party…?”

Involuntarily, I snickered. “Oh, in Equestria, there’s always trouble. And the grand galloping gala is no different.” Then I patted my lap in an inviting motion. “Now c’mon, I wanna see more of that epic game! Let tomorrow’s problems be for tomorrow’s me!”

With a giddy giggle, Twilight shuffled over the couch back to me, and we resumed the comfortable cozy position we were on. “Oh and can you hand me my guitar? I wanna strum a bit.”

With her levitation, she managed to bring my beloved instrument to me, and while she sat on my lap, I strummed on it, watching her play, while playing over her myself.

The night continued to be that incredible.

And I was certain tomorrow night would be amazing, too.

Sunset Shimmer really can’t stop winning!
> Sunset, how was the party?
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Not sure yet, but I sure as hell hope it’ll be good! I’ll burn that bridge when I get to it.

I spent the day with my Twi, nothing much to report other than adorable cuteness and unchaste moments, and we had a lovely lunch together at Pinkie’s diner. And no, she didn’t remember to bring me that jacket.

Saying goodbye to Twi when I dropped her off was surprisingly hard, sometimes it’s just. Too good, too perfect, you know? One of the reasons I’m excited for college is that I’ll get to actually share a dorm with her– we’ll be closer than ever. I considered asking her to move in with me before; But I wasn’t about to provide her a downgrade to her home. No matter how cozy she thinks my apartment is, her home is infinitely better.

And I'm not about to ask Nightlight and Velvet if I can move in with them, heh.

Before Twilight opened the door to her home, she took a good look at me, and she could read my expression very easily. “You’re nervous, aren’t you?” She stated with a sympathetic smile.

Considering I was about to go to a gala in another universe, and even see my old mentor again, yes I was. “I thought I was the mind reader here, heh.” 

She reached for a hug, and I accepted wholeheartedly. “You’re Sunset Shimmer. You can beat anything! Especially some stuffy party. Go get ‘em!” she gave me a couple of friendly pats to accentuate her words; Which was endlessly amusing.


I know it might sound dumb, but this was exactly what I needed. I could feel her faith in me emanating from her skin, after all. I kissed her joyfully. “Thanks, Sparkles.” We leaned foreheads together only for a little, before I had to let go.

The sun was close to setting when I was making my way to Canterlot high, and I did feel a bit nervous. But after having survived so much like me, you learn to be a bit fearless. 

I was driving on my motorbike in my full punk getup– What, you thought I’d wear a dress? No thank you. Sure I don’t want to stand out, but I’m not about to sacrifice my personal style! Besides, Rarity is not here to force me to wear one. Win.

Though I’d be lying if I said I didn’t put effort in my appearance. I wore as many cool accessories as I could without being overkill, and generally took my best with me. I even brought my geode! Mostly ‘cause I don’t like leaving it sitting in my apartment alone. Sure, not all of these accessories would transfer well to Equestria, but I could always double check when I’m there. 

Honestly, I’m glad that our clothes change a bit going from one place to the other– Otherwise both me and Twilight would have arrived butt-naked the first time we got here, and just walked around like nothing’s wrong. Streakers from another world.

I will say– That’s one of my favorite parts of being human. Like, just the boots alone they have here are awesome statements– And they make you taller, AND they’re comfortable? Huge human win, right there. Wearing boots with hooves suuuucks. Though I do also enjoy being able to walk around naked in Equestria, it was really surprising to me how prude they all were when I first got here.

It was interesting to see highschool so empty– It was vacation time for the students, I think. Not that I had to worry, as a graduate, heh. I couldn’t help but have my mind move to the many wonderful memories I had made there. I stopped my bike on the parking lot of CHS, and I was pleasantly surprised, because Princess Twilight was waiting for me there, at the foot of the statue, gazing at her surroundings listlessly.

I parked my bike, and she noticed me, giving a shy wave. Even from far away I could tell she was wearing a very intricate dress, no doubt fully ready for the party, one of Rarity’s best, I’m sure.

And to provide my bisexual insight, she looked phenomenal. Though I suppose I’m biased, since I’m dating a girl that looks identical to her.

There are some differences, and being an expert in Twilight’s appearance, I can spot them. This Twilight is chubbier; No doubt a result of her eating much healthier in Equestria, as opposed to mine, that only started eating better in recent years. The fact that she wears her hair down definitely inspires a bit more confidence; And she carries herself out more calmly too. It’s very subtle mannerisms I enjoy noticing! She used to be pretty fidgety, when we first met– But I could notice every time I met her, she was more confident and calmer.

“Heya, Twi! Were you waiting for a while? I wasn’t expecting to see you here!” I gave her a friendly wave, coming closer, and soon enough we were both in front of the statue. “Awesome dress, by the way–”

But I got interrupted, because she leaned forward and hugged me. Lucky me, I’m fairly adept at telegraphing Twilight Sparkle hugs, and got to hug her back without being toppled over. “I’m so happy you’re here…!” I heard her mutter, face stuffed on the crook on my neck. Another benefit of being tall. She must have been quite stressed, because she lingered on this hug for a while.

A bit weird, the scent on her– It was kind of like Rarity’s perfumes? And not my Rarity, too, it definitely came from Equestria. I tried not thinking about it, because it was very unusual for Twilight to even try with perfumes.

Okay so, this is not voluntary, but I could feel her feelings through physical contact; She was doing bad. I could tell she was nervous, that she had cried recently, but that she was also excited. The trademark nervous/excited emotions that are very common for a Twilight Sparkle, but this seemed to be even deeper. “Hey, glad to be here. Shall we?” I motioned to the mirror.

“Um… before that, can we talk? It’s… Important.” She pointed at a bench nearby, and I nodded. Whatever this was, it had to have something to do with how she was feeling, and if a friend needed me to be there, I would. 

We took our respective seats, I leaned back comfortably, while she hunched forward, fidgeting with her fingers– I knew exactly what it was like, they’re super easy to fidget with, unlike hooves. We sat only a couple meters away from the place where she had blasted me with friendship lasers, all those years ago.

The place where she changed my life. Where she saved it.

Nervously, she adjusted her hair away from her eyes, placing it behind her ear. For a moment, I could remember exact moments where my Twilight had done the same. “It's… it’s about what you and I talked about yesterday.”

I nodded quietly, letting her continue. “There’s no easy way to say this, so I'll just… Try to make my way to it. Stick with me, okay?” Her nervousness seemed to be increasing, but she remained subdued. “Of course, don’t worry, I'm listening.” I assured her. 

Her gaze was on the grass, but it looked at nothing. “So… After my failed coronation, my friends gave me this magical memory album of all of us– Something they had made for me. It was a beautiful sentiment– Memories of us, coming to life, in unforgettable manners, all gathered in one big volume! It was really really nice– I was so glad to have it.”

I wasn’t about to interrupt her, I just agreed. “That sounds really damn nice!” I affirmed simply, paying attention.

“I-It was! It really was. But the thing is, when I was alone, before I got to write to you again, after that whole mess of a failed coronation, I was shuffling through it, and…” She shuddered a little, continuing to fidget. I observed her intently, looking at all those mannerisms. “...And… I realized that this album would be all I have of them, for a millenia. It would be all I have left. Even if we made more memories, well…”

She leaned back on the bench, and her gaze moved a bit closer to mine. “I realized that would be all I have for a thousand years. Just that. And it wouldn’t be enough for me. Not even close– they say ‘better to have loved and lost’ but honestly? A millenia of missing my friends sounds like torture, I can’t go through it. I can’t. Not alone…!”

I listened intently, and that last statement was certainly something very critical. Was she considering abandoning Alicornhood? Because I know better than anyone that Celestia needs an heir– And Twilight here is the absolute most qualified pony for it. Equestria needed her.

Then and only then, did I decide to step in. What she was feeling was serious, and I needed to say something. “Look Twilight, I can’t say I understand completely, but I get what you mean. It’s a heavy topic for sure, you’re dealing not with your mortality, but your friend's mortality. I get it. Look…” I had to make up things on the spot– While also gathering from what I had learned and experienced, it was difficult.

I tried for a moment, considering what my Twilight would say about it– Because she was always better at making decisions, and always better at thinking at things objectively.

I shuffled a bit closer, and made sure to be as reassuring as possible– I needed to make this count. If there was any way I could help a friend endure this weight, I had to. I wasn’t sure if I had nearly the wisdom to help, but I had to try. “I had a conversation similar to this once, with Celestia. When all I wanted was to be her successor. I was questioning her on immortality, and you know what she told me? She told me that even Alicorns, someday, also expire. They return to the cosmos when their task is done…!”

Twilight closed her hands, bringing them together, while she listened to me intently; She looked like she wanted to just listen, so I continued. “At the time, it filled me with dread, but, after I thought about it more… It’s hard to describe this, but like. If you are a being that lives for a thousand years– You will change from the kind of being that lives for a hundred, at best. Mortality, or lack thereof, will be recontextualized to you. I completely understand why you’re nervous– Hell, I’d be too– But you have to understand– None of this is bad. Everything ends at some point– And if we’re lucky, it’s a happy ending.”

“Y-yeah.” She muttered, and her eyes were watery, she was trying to look at me, her face red, but she couldn't. I was lucky that what I was saying didn’t come out as incoherent babble. Thinking under pressure is one of my many qualities, I suppose.

“I know this sounds weird. But when the time comes for your friends to… Go, hell, when the time comes for me to go, you’re gonna be ready for it. I know you will. Because to you, it’ll be a part of existing. It’ll be just… part of the natural cycle of things! And you’ll be okay. We all believe in you…!” I mustered the warmest smile I could. 

She finally managed to make eye contact. Quiet tears streamed down her cheeks, but she tried smiling back at me. “B-believing in me is one thing, but… I realized that’s not what I need right now...”

She sniffled, and her gaze failed to meet mine for only a bit. “What I need, more than faith, is to have somepony to rule alongside me…!” It looked like she was holding that in for a while.

That was a loaded statement– and it was clearly something she had thought of for a while now.

Of course. Celestia has Luna… But Twilight needed more than just family or friends…

My eyebrows raised, and it all clicked for me. This wasn’t just about existentialism. Twilight, you scamp. You’re looking to settle down with another pony that ascends into Alicornhood! That’s adorable. I couldn’t help but blow air through my nose, suppressing a chuckle. “Well that won’t be hard– I bet you got thousands of suitors. But hey, the grand galloping gala is a wonderful place to start! How about I be your wingman a bit?”

Her eyes widened in confusion and shock, and she sniffled while tilting her head. I kept going. “Just saying, before I dated the other you, me and Pinkie went on some wild parties, and I have some experience with it. Now granted, a lot of the suitors in the gala are stuffy jerks, but you don’t have to find true love in one night, right?”

“U-um, right, but Sunset–”

She was stumbling on her words, so I decided to continue assuring her. “Have you asked Celestia to delay your coronation? I think that’ll be important for you to find a special somepony to spend a thousand years with. Damn, if Cadence was here, she would go nuts…”

“Y-yes, I have, and she agreed, but Sunset–” 

I reached in for a hug, and she accepted fully, still sniffling a bit on my embrace. “Everything’s gonna be okay. How about we get going? We can talk about this on the way! We shouldn’t keep the others waiting. This is good news!” I couldn’t help but be happy for her– After all, the idea of ruling alongside someone for thousands of years, a rule of love, is pretty damn magical. No wonder she’d want to delay her coronation!

Hey, I may not live in Equestria anymore, but even I could see the benefit of this. Celestia’s solo rule was certainly something, but it was far from a golden age.

I trusted Twilight to be a good ruler, but after what I had heard, I couldn’t help but agree– That she’d do terribly, if she was grief stricken through its entirety. But that’s not her failing; that’s good news! Twilight Sparkle is looking to settle down, heheh.

Now, how in the world to get her an actual good partner. That’d be difficult.

I stood, and looked back at her. One thing that was unfortunate, although I could feel that she felt better, is that she was still incredibly nervous. Her emotions were wild and her heartbeat was high. I wish I could have sait more assuring things, but well, I’m not perfect. Never been, never will. But I'll be damned if I let Twilight Sparkle cry on my watch.

“C’mon. Let’s be wild and live in the moment. Who cares about a millennium from now, away?” I offered a hand to her, to help her stand up, and with a frail smile, she accepted it.

I have to admit, this was much better. By this, I mean her idea of not wanting to rule alone.

If I was in her place? I’d go insane, for a thousand years, without having someone that could truly relate to me, and of course, love. I’d start burning things for sure. Equestria would fall back to the dark ages because its ruler would be lonely as hell.

…Though part of that is ‘cause I’d make a terrible Princess, heh.

I did a rehearsed motion, of leading the way while holding her hands. This is something I’ve done plenty of times with my Twilight. Whenever we’re at a crowded place, I lead, and to make sure we don’t lose each other, I keep my hand behind me, and she holds it. Not just so we stay connected, but so that I can feel exactly how she feels.

As I led Twilight to the portal, I could tell this was working at least a little.

And so, hand in hand we crossed the line.





Rematerializing in Equestria is always a bit weird. Falling on all fours, feeling hairier– it’s a whole thing. Not bad at all though– I felt magic coursing through me instantly. And what’s more, an interesting discovery I made ages ago, my Geode doesn’t cross with me– And yet, my powers remain! Stronger than ever, actually. I can read minds like it’s a special quirk only I can do.

But what surprised me was the 5 ponies staring at us the moment we crossed the portal– All of Twilight’s friends were waiting for us.

Applejack, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, all stood in the same library room Twilight always stood while waiting for me to cross, and they were waiting intently, wearing their respective party gowns. And they cheered happily when we appeared together, glad to see us; A surprise for me, I was expecting them to be waiting for us at the train station or something.

“Hey, girls! Long time no see–” Was all I could mutter, before Twilight leapt forward, brandishing her wings as if waving wildly. “HI GIRLS! So here’s the thing, we talked, but only for a bit, haha! We’ll talk more at the party! You know???” Her voice continued to be quite nervous, which made me a bit sad. I wished I could have calmed her nerves more...

While I stretched, her friends all looked at eachother and me with confusion, but I honestly didn’t care much. The friend of my friend is my friend, but to be respectful, I would keep my distance. I shot sparks and flames out of my horn briefly, just for the reminder of how it felt.

Every pony in the room turned their heads at me in surprise, and I have to admit– I got a bit embarrassed. I guess I’m the only pony that knows what it is to be without magic for a really long time! “Um, sorry, I was just warming up, haha!” In an attempt to stave off awkwardness, I simply moved forward. “I’m gonna hit the bathroom before we head for the train station! No need to wait for me, you all can head to the exit! I’ll see you there!”

I quickly trotted past them, and as soon as I was out of eyesight, I picked up the pace. Not as a need to run away– you just wouldn’t beliiiiiiieve how satisfying it is to go fast when you’re on four legs. I found myself pretty excited to run on dirt and grass soon.

My stay in the bathroom was brief, I was just there to wash my face and look at my reflection, really. It Looked like most of my punk accessories passed through, and most welcome, my piercings. But not my pants, no big surprise. I couldn’t help but smile, seeing that old familiar Unicorn face. My physique from the human world definitely translated well. I was tall– Even taller than Twilight here, and pretty defined. It made me feel excited to gallop on grass; And to maybe have a reason to buck something, to see how strong I would be..

And in the same way, I couldn’t help but spew flames out of my horn in delight.

…An act quickly regretted, when the bathroom curtains caught fire.

But as you’ll find, this exact scenario had happened before, so, with the water still running on the sink, I quickly redirected it to the curtains with levitation before the fire could spread! Quick thinking under pressure, one of the many qualities of Sunset Shimmer. 

No crisis here! No problems! I double checked to make sure everything was okay, just in case.

I shook off my nerves, and stepped out of the bathroom.

…And found all six of those ponies staring at me– In fact, they were discussing something, and went quiet the moment they saw me.

This is the kind of thing that would freak out someone like Fluttershy, but me? I have perfect technique to play off of it.

And that technique is to literally not care and pretend you didn’t see it. “Off we go! Keep up!” I said joyfully, trotting down those halls.

They followed behind– Lucky for me, I knew the way. I wasn’t trying to lead, I was honestly just looking forward to being outside.

Of course, Pinkie was the first one to keep up, giddily bouncing around. The similarities between the two Pinkies I knew were endlessly entertaining. Twilight followed quickly behind, stuttering a bit. “U-um yes! We still have plenty of time to catch the train to Canterlot!”

Surprisingly, although not that surprising, Rarity was the first to address me. “Sunset, darling, is that what you will be wearing for the festivities tonight?” 

Wow, deja vu. I could swear that my Rarity had asked the exact same thing at some point in our years together.

With a snarky smile, I side eyed her, shamelessly displaying my spiked leather jacket. “Sure is. What do you think?”

“Well, it’s–” She stopped herself, shaking her head. I could tell that she wanted to judge me, heh. It was amusing, what can I say? “It is perfectly fine, you look dashing.” She forced herself to say. And Twilight, who was on my other side, hastingly agreed. “She’srightyoulookgreat!”

“Thaaaank you kindly, Rarity. You too, Twi.” I made a fake bow. Okay I’m not being a dick here, I swear! It’s just– When they speak with the exact same voices of my friends, it almost tricks me to be the same level of closeness that I have with my friends, and that translates in many ways. Hell, looking at Twilight, even the pony version, just hearing her voice elicits automatic affection from me. It’s involuntary!

“Well I for one think you look awesome!” Rainbow Dash affirmed, fiddling with her admittedly beautiful dress as she accompanied us in flight.  “Like c’mon, why am I even wearing this thing when I could have a sick leather jacket!!” 

With a quick, sharp gaze, Rarity’s eyes pierced the pegasus, and I had to contain myself not to laugh. “Sorry!” Rainbow folded instantly. The familiarities between these and my friends amused me.

Pinkie walked closer, stepping in front of Rarity, and as expected, this Pinkie Pie also didn’t really understand personal space. “Hiya Sunset!! What’s the thing you’re looking forward to doing the most, at the gala??? There’s just so much fun stuff to do—-”

“Drinking!” I replied decisively, just to see her reaction, and to not much surprise, it was positive, with her nodding mischievously. “Niiiiiice” She affirmed. And to throw her a bone, I continued. “And of course, the pastries and sweets. I heard some mad mare baked a cupcake storm. I’d be stupid not to try.” This wasn’t my first experience of the gala with these 6– it was just my first hands-on experience. I was well aware that Pinkie helped with catering.

And I was also aware that this kind of compliment made her rave; I, for one, take personal pleasure at winding Pinkie up and watching her go, heheh. “YEAYEAH I’M THE MAD MARE!! I LIKE YOU ALREADY, SUNSET!!” A comical statement, that I did not look into.

I barely noticed it, but Twilight was scanning my every interaction with her friends.

Truthfully? What I was looking forward to the most was checking out the Canterlot gardens again. They were beautiful at night, and in the past, I was a lone wolf, so I’d often spend my time there, studying or just getting away from other ponies. It would be nostalgic.

“Ease off Pinkie, let her breathe, will ya?” Applejack commanded plainly, trying to get a bit closer. “I just wanna let you know that we’re all mighty happy yer here, Sunset!” She proclaimed happily– And that did put a smile on my face. Fluttershy, flying behind her, agreed, even if very quickly. “Y-yes! Super happy!” I sensed no deception behind her voice at all, and I got a pretty good lie detector. “Thanks, guys! I’m glad to be here!” I responded quickly and honestly, and tried not minding their tones.

Because it did start feeling like they were buttering me up, for some reason.

I guess that bothered me a little. I’m not made of glass– And least of all, I didn’t want this night to be about me at all. All I wanted was to make sure Celestia knew I was there, and also that Twilight was comfortable. Hell, I wasn’t even planning on stepping onto the dance floor!

It’s kind of my rule with parties nowadays. Take as much as you can of positive out of it, free snacks, nice mingling with friends– But don’t push it.

Finally, the castle doors. This place was enormous, and kinda claustrophobic. I have no idea why a Princess like Twilight, nerd that she is, has a castle this huge and lonely. Surely something like a library would be more fitting? Whatever. Hers got blown up, sadly!

I ran towards the doors and pushed them forward as fast as I could. Finally, grass beneath my hooves, the Equestrian air feeling my lungs.

I took a deep, satisfying breath. The horizon was beautiful, Ponyville looked lovely, the sun had just set, and due to it, the entire sky was covered in a purple like-haze, and littered with stars. I couldn’t help but smile.

“A-are you okay?” Twilight asked me, getting closer, I could tell she was worried about my demeanor. Honestly, it’d be complicated to explain why I was acting like this. She brushed close to me, and I could feel her insecurities.

So I just looked at her with a warm smile. “Hey Sparkles. What time does the train leave?”

“Oh, we still have well over half an hour to–”

“What’s that? We’re running late? Oh no!” I said in a joking tone, before looking back at all six of them. “Better hurry!!!” And with a smile, I took off, running out of there. 

Any excuse to gallop, I would have taken– But it helped to hear the pleased and cheerful affirmations of Twilight’s friends behind me– Who appreciated the rush. Rainbow Dash especially, who flew overhead laughing.

More importantly, Twilight was giggling. 

That was an absolute win.





Speaking of Twilight. I have to admit, she had put a lot of work into her appearance for tonight. Maybe it was Rarity rubbing off on her, maybe it was her living up to her princess status, but dang. Her mane was perfectly combed, in a beautiful bun, and her dress looked like it actually had scintillating stars in it. It honestly looked like the kind of dress that Luna would likely wear, if I would guess.

We were already on the train, so in an attempt to force myself not to stare, I looked out the window a lot. After all, with only the added difference of her wearing glasses, I would be acting a whole lot different tonight.

Lucky me, she did not wear glasses– And I could continue to look outside, watching the central Equestrian forests and mountains pass by. A very beautiful vista, that I sometimes missed.

And no, I didn’t make small talk on the train with her friends. Like c’mon, can you blame me? It’s super weird, they sound like my friends but aren’t– I can’t just go “Hey Pinkie, Let’s do some shots when we get to the party!” Or go “hey Dash! Remember that time when we were gaming–” Or go “AJ, let’s do that dance you taught me at the last Apple family reunion!” Or go “Hey Rares let’s judge the other party goers for their drip!” Or even “Yo Fluttershy, can I try wrestling your bear friend again?” 

None of that translates, and I have to do a whole other layer of thinking to distinguish them.

But one thing was for sure, I could easily sit next to Twilight and mingle– Keep her mind somewhere better, somewhere a bit more light. It was the least I could do, and I quite enjoyed it.

And I could swear, sometimes her friends were peeking at me conspicuously. 

Why, I couldn’t possibly tell.

But I wasn’t about to let anything bug me tonight.





Yeah, I gotta admit, it was a pleasing deja vu. 

Canterlot castle, all dressed up, lighting the night sky with its glory. All the tapestries, all the lights, all the glamor. Don’t get me wrong, that’s not what I’m about, I suppose the only time I was about this was when I wanted to be unignorable, Celestia’s perfect pupil.

But now? It’s just fun to get lost in.

I said goodbye to Twilight’s friends pretty quickly– Mostly because I didn’t want to be the center of their attention, and it seemed kind of clear that they were trying to make me more comfortable here or something; Not in an overbearing way, but still!

Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate the sentiment, but again, I'm not made of glass. If anything, I was worried about Twilight tonight. Whether she would stick to me like glue or leave me to my own devices, I would try my best to be a good guest. It was easier, considering I didn’t bring anybody with me. Can you imagine if I had brought my Pinkie? Unending chaos would ensue. Equestria can withstand one Pinkie, but two? Celestia have mercy…

Also, bringing my own Twilight would have been a bad idea, for sure. Two Twilight’s running around would cause a lot of eyebrows to raise, and I could tell she would get very nervous here. So many stuffy aristocrats and ponies in positions of power– I could see Rainbow Dash mingling with the wonderbolts, and that was only the tip of the iceberg.

Lucky me, I wasn’t familiar with many of the upper echelon in Equestria anymore (perks of being in exile for nearly a decade!) So I couldn’t tell who here was really important.

Except, well…

Celestia was on the same podium she always stood in the gala, greeting visitors. For a moment, it was as if it was just me and her at the party. Sounds were distant, the ponies were far away. Just a failed student and her old mentor. I think she saw me and waved, and I waved back with a shy smile, unsure if it was even me she was waving at.

I was fiercely snapped into reality by Twilight, right next to me, addressing this. “Do you want to go talk to her?”

From her tone of voice, it sounded like she wanted me to talk to Celestia. Which, well, I couldn’t blame her. She might as well have said “Go talk to your not-mom-god-ex-mentor and un-burn that bridge!” Which would have been endlessly amusing, but still...

I blinked, and it was as if I was no longer alone at that party. The sounds of the crowd flooded my ears, and I let out a chuckle. “Nah. I’ll try to later, when she’s less busy.”

I don’t know if that was a lie, frankly.

But the best solution was to change the subject. I bumped Twilight with my rump, and she let out a quiet flustered yelp. “So Sparkles, see any cuties in this crowd?”

I’ll be honest, I was just asking to change the subject– it was instantly apparent that none of the ponies in that crowd could live up to Princess Twilight Sparkle. The halls were bustling with lively music and joy, but honestly, a vast majority were stuffy aristocrats, none who would ever deserve being with her.

I guess she must have agreed with me, because she shook her head avidly, flustering. “Nope! None here! Not my type, and, uh, stuff!” The words failed her, which amused me.

“Hey, don’t worry. Canterlot wasn’t built in a day. You have plenty of time to find a special someone– somepony; And I’m certain you’ll manage! I’m gonna go get some sweets, if you need me just ask, okay?” I bumped her once more for good measure, giving her the warmest smile I could. The pastries were calling for me.

“Yeah!!” She affirmed, with an embarrassed nod. I obeyed the call of the pastries.

Don’t get me wrong, I did believe she could find somepony worthy of her– But I struggled to imagine anypony that would be. Twilight Sparkle deserves everything, not just another Jane doe. Trying to picture who would be truly good enough to be with her for 1000 years was a losing battle.

Maybe some badass Unicorn chick with a six pack or something. That enjoys blowing stuff up and being protective of her girl. Maybe? Eh I’d have to think this kinda thing over.

She gave me a shy quick goodbye, standing there a bit flustered. No big surprise, my Twilight also was always really shy when it came to talking about romance.

Those pastries, man. I kinda do wish my Pinkie was here right now– she would go nuts. Plenty of tables filled the walls of the halls, with endless assorted snacks and foods and sweets; and plenty of waiters were passing by. But I was a self-server. I want something, I go get it.

And here, finally, I could exercise my favorite pastime at parties, people-watching. Or should I say pony-watching?

I stood, back to a wall, near a window, enjoying myself getting plenty of pastries, drinks and snacks, all while observing the ponies at the party. Of course, this was something that was funner to do with a friend, but I derived no less enjoyment from it alone, after all, it’s Equestria! There’s funny things happening everywhere.

Rainbow Dash seemed to be having a good time with her Wonderbolt buddies, as she flexed and did loopty-loops demonstrating some sort of flight she had taken earlier, and Fluttershy seemed to be observing her from a distance, while also surrounded by birds, no doubt preparing for a choir. My guess? Fluttershy was working up the nerve to ask Rainbow for a dance– A task I imagine would be torture to her, specially considering how oblivious Dash was in my universe– If this was any similar, Flutters was in for a struggle. That kind of obliviousness was endlessly entertaining to observe, though. But sometimes kinda frustrating.

Applejack seemed to be standing diligently near Rarity, waiting for her to finish talking with Twilight, likely for similar reasons as fluttershy. It was fun to watch her demeanor, it was like she was a protective bodyguard that handled the ponies around her like they were made of glass. Kinda cute. One thing I did notice, more than once tonight, Twilight seemed to be hounded by Rarity over something. My first guess would be party etiquette, or something regarding dress wear, whatever. Though weirdly, I did see them both glimpsing at me on occasion while arguing, though that must have been my imagination.

And Pinkie, of course, was busting it down on the dance floor. She seemed to have enough decorum not to bump endlessly into other party guests, and yet, her ability to be capable of eating pastries while dancing rivaled my Pinkie’s. 

Celestia… Was looking right at me, for most of the party. That much, was unmistakable. I couldn’t help but feel guilty; No doubt she was checking to make sure I wouldn’t be up to something. Best I could do in this scenario was to behave! I remained still, and did not do anything suspicious.

And so, I made sure to start drinking.

I refused to feel bad tonight. I was going to enjoy myself, and not worry about nonsense. And I hoped that Celestia would see me behaving properly!

Unfortunately I barely got to drink. “Hi, Sunset… Would you like to dance?” That familiar voice snapped me out of my trance; Twilight had teleported right next to me, and asked me that question while I had a mouthful of pastries in me. Embarrassing, but I could play it cool. 

“Um” I tried swallowing as fast as I could without choking to death, then and there. “N-no thank you, I’m not stepping on the dance floor tonight!” I stated, with as much calm confidence as I could muster, unable to allow my smile to be anything less than nervous– She caught me off guard, okay?

“W-what?” Seeming genuinely shocked at my answer, her ears drooped low. 

But what can I say? I wanted to be anything BUT in the middle of a crowd tonight– this party was not about me, and I sure as hell wasn't going to be seen shaking my booty next to a princess.

“I don’t wanna make a fuss, that's all!!” I tried covering. “This night’s pretty big, and the last thing I wanna do is risk making a mess. Celestia’s watching me like a hawk.” 

I suppose I did feel like I was on thin ice– Nothing you can’t easily avoid by being cautious and taking it slow, but still.

“Aww…” Okay, that seemed to genuinely upset her. Fuck. 

My gaze led me to the window, and to the gardens outside. 

I had a pretty good idea on how to make it up to her. “Hey, do you trust me?” I offered her a hoof.

“Of course!” She answered without hesitation, placing her hoof on mine.

I teleported us both out of there, into the gardens outside. And I was happy to do so– The party was getting a bit much, even for me. 

And hey, as I walked slowly outside, I got what I wanted. The gardens were beautiful, they weren’t as lit as the party inside, so the moon and stars were our biggest source of light. There were less ponies out here, and the sounds of the party were distant echoes. 

The Princess followed me closely in confusion. “Um, Sunset, what are we–”

“Follow me! I want to show you something.” I stated simply, as I picked up the pace, looking back with a smile. There was a line of being open versus being intriguing that I wanted to toe, hopefully to make her distracted from all the messed up thoughts from earlier.

This garden was my jam, back in the day, and I was just. Completely delighted to see not much had changed.

So together, we ran through the canterlot gardens at night. I have to say, it was lovely to hear her giggle. It was endlessly familiar, and considering how much she had gone through, it was music to my ears.

Dirt and grass beneath my hooves, the humid cold night air in my lungs, it felt good. I had no more regrets about coming here tonight.

We reached a dead end, but not for me. A wall in on our front, windows to the party on our right, the gardens we came from behind us, and a ledge leading to the Canterlot skyline on our left. 

“What is it you wanted to show me…?” She asked with that classic Twilight Sparkle curiosity, that couldn’t help but make me smile. “Here, follow my lead.”

There was an old, tall tree that obscured a lot of the wall and rooftop on this dead end. I jumped, and with a mix of levitation and teleportation, I climbed it, and from it, I reached a hidden ledge. Twilight followed me in flight, and she gasped in surprise.

There was a hidden little nook, in between the rooftops, one with a bench, a sealed door, and old abandoned gardening utensils– with plenty of vines and leaves covering them. I took in the familiar sight with a smile. “I used to come here a lot, when I was a student of Celestia’s. I often wanted to be alone, y’know?”

With a hoof, I pointed at one of the bricks on the short walls of that nook, moving a couple of vines away– In it, an old, familiar scribbling. “Sunset Shimmer was here!!!” And upon seeing it, the Princess giggled in delight.

“It's cute! I like it!” She nodded, smiling at it, and me. I have to admit, it felt good to share parts of myself I didn’t get to share with anybody, or anypony. This nook was one of the reasons I wanted my Twilight to be here with me tonight.

But of course, that wasn’t the main event.

She was distracted looking at me, so with one hoof, I moved her head in the opposite direction, and I felt her emotions spike with my touch and the view.

This nook was the perfect, best-seat-in-the-house to be capable of viewing all of Canterlot, from above, without a single obstruction, and even better, comfortable privacy. 

The skyline of the city was quite frankly, ethereal at a night like this. It lit up the night almost with a fog of scintillating lights and glory, with some of the Castle’s spotlight swerving around slowly. This was the first time I had shared this view with anypony. The mixture of colors, the way it reflected off of the mountains and forests around it, and the fact you could see so far into Equestria, it was the best view in all of Canterlot Castle, to me, at least.

“T-this is the best view in Canterlot Castle. Oh my gosh.” Her jaw was slacked, so I quickly picked it up for her. With a confident smile, I walked towards the ledge and leaned on it. “Yep, it’s really something, and I’m glad I finally got to share it. I’m pretty sure there’s no gardener that even knows that this is here, perks of the Castle being so huge, after all. I’ve been coming here since I found it, when I was much younger. Whenever I wanted to get away from everything, I’d sit here…”

My gaze was set on the skyline, and I have to admit, I felt a bit of sorrowful nostalgia. Sure, those days weren’t the best, but being a student of Celestia was an incredible position. 

But above all, I was just glad I wasn’t alone up here anymore.

The echoes of the party were the only memory that it wasn’t just us in this castle. But I didn’t mind. The silence was comfortable, even if I could tell she wanted to say something.

“Damn, I always forget how clear the sky is here…” I looked up, and it looked like an unending sea of stars, you could easily identify constellations, celestial bodies, it was gorgeous.

“I-I know, right?” She agreed immediately. “Equestria’s skies are much better than earths, I have to say– And the air, too…!”

Okay, although I’d usually defend my home turf, she was right. Both the skies and the air here were endlessly better. The human world is full of cars constantly shitting out smoke in the air, it’s kind of disgusting, but I guess they have no other ways to get around, with their two legs, heh.

“Yeah. Nothing beats that Equestrian night air.” I nodded, closing my eyes and feeling it.

“It iiiiis pretty chilly though…!” She shivered slightly, rubbing her exposed legs– Yeah, that dress was beautiful, but it did not protect her from the cold at all.

With one thoughtless motion, I took off my jacket and handed it to her.

Look, I’m not a pony that gets cold easily, I run hot. And the funniest thing here– I kind of got a deja vu, the moment I saw the Princess put the jacket on and thank me, flustered, with that pouty look Twilight’s often had. 

Me and my Twilight had done this before.

Back before we were even dating, me and all our friends would sometimes take hikes on the everfree forest, during our vacations. And the thing was, me and Twilight would often walk a bit separately from the group, leading the way. Me because I was guiding, and her because I was determined to keep an eye out for if she needed to rest, or needed her inhaler.

And on one particularly cold night, I noticed that she was shivering, and without thinking, I removed my jacket and handed it to her; Which was comical, since it was a bit too big for her, but hey, nothing better than some body heat to warm you up! And that jacket was full of it.

The funniest thing though, she thought I didn’t notice– But seconds after she started wearing it, She reached down with her face and took a big whiff of the inside of my jacket. 

I tried so hard not to burst into laughter, like what, was she put off by my sweaty scent or whatever? Little did I know at the time, it was quite the opposite. She wore my jacket for the rest of my hike, and then some. It was a damn wonderful time. And she even stole a sweater of mine at some point.

But hey, the Princess next to me had a bit more decorum than that.

…Nevermind. She thought I wasn’t looking, because I was facing the Canterlot skyline, and she reached down and took a big whiff of the inside of my jacket.

These Twilights, Man. Hah.

“Twilight.” I stated plainly, and amused myself by watching her straighten her back instantly, pretending she hadn’t done what she just did.

I tilted my head with a smile, looking at her from top to bottom. “I hope you’re feeling better…?” Hope is certainly the right word. I was nearly begging her to be feeling better after everything she told me.

“Y-yeah. I am.”





Well, I had to face the music eventually!

The party had died down a little, and most ponies were dancing slowly in the ballroom, plenty whom I recognized. But me? I was about to face Celestia and ask her “howsit goin!”

Twilight led me to her calmly, and I could feel her excitement, at least. But me? I’m not going to lie, I just wanted to be as formal and possible and then go back to getting some snacks. At least the princess looked good wearing my jacket, but I had no doubt Rarity would judge her on it.

“Greetings, Sunset Shimmer!” She spoke with a certain joy, a certain excitement. Her smile was genuine, so mine was too. “Hi, Princess Celestia. It's nice to see you again!”

“The feeling is mutual. How have you and Twilight enjoyed the evening?” She spoke calmly and with a certain giddyness behind her words, as her eyes switched from me to her pupil.

With a bit of nervous laughter, Twilight stepped forward, with her classic embarrassed demeanor. For a moment, I was reminded of the first time I had met Celestia, after my banishment. My friends had all forgotten me, and I was so close to losing everything, but Twilight helped me reunite with my old mentor without hesitation. And much like that time, she was much more nervous than I was, heh. 

“Hey, so, Princess Celestia, the thing is– I talked with her, but only a little bit. I was hoping you could…?” She folded her wings close, and nudged her head at my direction, a motion I did not understand.

Celestia’s eyes widened a little bit, as she quickly switched her glance between me and Twilight, in confusion. “Um, so, did you not…?”

“Nope haha! Please help” She stated, and now I was the confused one, as I tried deciphering whatever they meant. 

With a nod, Celestia stepped forward, an action that would have intimidated me, if she wasn’t smiling. “But I trust you two did enjoy the festivities, after all?” 

At least that got a positive reaction out of Twilight, who nodded emphatically. “Y-yes! We had a wonderful time. Sunset showed me a really good spot to enjoy the party…!”

Snickering, I took that as my cue to add my input. “Heh, yeah, and trust me, that’s not the only hidden spot I have here in this castle. If you’d like, I could show you more of them tonight?”

“Hihihi, I would love that!” She said, with a genuine giddy smile, and nuzzled me affectionately.

Yeah. I know. Weird, but not so much; Princess Twilight liked my idea so much she just nuzzled me then and there after letting out one of her dorky adorable laughs. Totally fine; And yes, if you must know, she must have doused herself in a gallon of Rarity’s perfume, and no, I don’t know this because I sniffed her, I promise. 

That's normal! Nuzzling another pony is totally normal and okay; This is just a thing that ponies do, we nuzzle each other all the time when we care about each other and stuff.

Now you might ask 'Sunset, how do you know what a pony ritual of affection is like?’

First of all. Like. C'mon. Screw you man

Second of all, what actually matters here isn't this cute little display or whatever.

It's the fact that I literally read minds and feel feelings through physical contact; And sometimes it's involuntary; When someone, or in this case, is feeling something very loudly.


I love you!


She felt that, really, really loudly.

…I wanted to chock that up as platonic immediately, I really did. But the problem here? I’m an expert in Twilight Sparkle feelings of affection, I’m DATING one.

I know the feeling of Twilight Sparkle loving me. Because it was basically routine at this point.

So when she nuzzled me, and her feelings loudly spread throughout my skin, to me that was normal. That was something that happened to me every day that I spent with my Twilight. But also it wasn’t, because this wasn’t my Twilight. I nearly jumped and choked right there; As I recoiled from her touch in immense surprise, and she sure noticed me flinching, that much was obvious.

“Are you okay?” She asked quickly in surprise– Even Celestia noticed me freaking out.

“U-um!” I managed to mutter, eyes fixed on the Princess. “I, uh,”

I had nothing. My vision blurred in confusion and my face grew redder by the second– My body almost commanded me to teleport out of there, my heartbeat rose, I was freaking out.

Celestia snapped me out of my trance easily. “Could we talk in private, Sunset Shimmer?” She offered, and that was an offer that I accepted emphatically. 

Shake yourself off, you’re imagining things, this meant nothing, move on, move on, move on!!

“I-I’ll see you soon!” Twilight spoke behind us, in a certain nervous tone that was now feeling very familiar to me. I barely mustered an “Y-yeah!” before quickening my pace. 

Holy shit. 

What was that.

No, actually, no. I didn't need to know, it was nothing!

Nothing at all!

“It is wonderful to see you bonding with her and all her friends, Sunset.” Celestia spoke, side eyeing me with a smile, as we walked on empty hallways of Canterlot castle together– and I have to admit, my legs were feeling wobbly. Not just because of whatever insane thing had just happened, but because walking side by side with Celestia through these halls was something I hadn’t done in ages.

It was a couple of drastic steps above nostalgia, it made me feel bittersweet in indescribable ways, and I was trying not to freak over whatever the hell had just happened with me and Twilight.

“Y-yeah. They’re really welcoming.” Though I guess it was easy to say that, considering I had the same friends elsewhere. That’s it, Sunset, just make small talk so you can walk away.

“Indeed. Twilight is the future of Equestria, but I must admit… That future is in jeopardy, in her current state…” Okay, not small talk, BIG talk. Celestia seemed to be worried about her pupil, and I sure as hell didn’t blame her.

“Y-yeah, she told me about some messed up stuff she was feeling. It’s rough. …If you don’t mind me asking, what are you all going to do…?” Keep it light, let’s not thread where we’re not meant to!

She slowed down, until she sat by a balcony, overlooking the rest of the castle. It was peaceful, but internally I was anything but, my gaze dissociating into the night. “Our next plan of action is to find a suitable partner for Twilight to rule alongside– Essentially, a new pupil for me, and her. We are halting all of our plans for a coronation, until we manage to fulfill this task. Twilight, in her current state, could not rule, no matter how qualified. She is succumbing to her insecurities, and I do not blame her. I am at least happy to know she knows what she wants…” She looked at me analytically, and I averted my gaze.

I nodded quietly, as if I understood, but frankly, my mind was a bit frazzled; I was still recuperating. “I hope you guys manage to find one! Sounds like a big deal.” God that was so stupid to say. Such a blank statement, I was NOT stable.

“We have already found one, our best possible suitor at the moment, actually.” She spoke in a relieved smile, and honestly? It made me a bit relieved too.

At least that problem was dealt with, you know? And it wasn’t mine, either. I just wanted to get back to the party. “O-oh! Awesome! Is it a secret, or can you tell me? ‘Cause I’m curious–”

“It is you, Sunset Shimmer.”

Everything froze.

I froze.

My fucking heart froze.

What?

“What?” 

That was all that could come out of my mouth.

Celestia noticed my mental state, and I don’t blame her for being a bit amused. She giggled, bringing a hoof to her lips, and came a bit closer, regarding me with kindness. “Isn’t it obvious? You were my original pupil, and that wasn’t for no reason, you’ve always excelled at much, and had boundless potential. And now, you are better than ever, Sunset. You have understood and forged the bonds of friendship, you have proven to have a kind heart, you have protected another world dutifully from magical threats, and above all, the confidence that I see in you… It is not arrogance anymore. You are more than the perfect suitor.” 

How the hell did I feel dizzy, and yet, Like I was a statue, all at once? “B-but Twilight, she, uh,” 

She nudged me, and an emotion rushed through me from her. It was pride. “This was her idea. She is quite fond of you, and not just that, but her frequent correspondence with you allows her a perfect perspective. She has reported to me, time and time again, on how well you were doing, passionately so, if I may add. And I could not be prouder.”

“H-holy shit.” Was all that could come out of me, as my gaze was completely lost in the night. At first, I felt utterly flabbergasted, but a warm feeling started spreading through me.

“Heheh, ‘Holy shit’ indeed. I mean all the words I say, Sunset Shimmer. I am proud of the pony you have become– And I believe that you have the makings of a wonderful Alicorn, if you would allow me to attempt to train you once more; And what’s more, Twilight believes in you with all her might! And as do I– As do all her friends.” She regarded me with adoration and pride, a gaze that I did not have from her, or any parental figure, in well over a decade.

“T-this is incredible, I, wow,” Kudos for me not being capable of formulating a fucking proper sentence. I felt like bursting into laughter. I felt warm.

She closed her eyes, her head held high, facing the moon. “Equestria needs you, Sunset Shimmer. Twilight needs you. What do you say? How about we try again?” Her smile was captivating, her faith was intoxicating, my own muzzle was grinning madly.

“I, I don’t know what to say, this is just everything I’ve ever–”

I stopped.

I stopped and felt a cold shiver rising in my spine.

I wasn’t living in Equestria.

I wasn’t dating this Twilight.

My friends, my girlfriend, all were waiting for me back home.

My expression melted into a grimace, as my thoughts spiraled, and I felt like I was going to pass out; Maybe even throw up, then and there. I felt my stomach twist as air left my lungs.

“I, I… I have to…” Words failed me, and I had to lean on the railing.

Celestia regarded me, eagerly awaiting my response.

With monumental effort, I managed to ask a question. “C-can I sleep on it?” The stupidest nervous smile appeared on my face, as that was all I managed to blurt out. I hated myself for not instantly accepting it. I hated myself insanely for not hugging Celestia tightly and not letting go– For not emphatically agreeing, cheerfully laughing with joy.

And I hated myself for not instantly running away.

“Um… Sleep on it?” She tilted her head in confusion, and I don’t fucking blame her.

I nodded, unable to look her in the eyes. “It's, uh… it’s… I have to think about it…!” While I said those words, my body was already recoiling, my legs were already moving me backwards.

She nodded at me with an earnest smile, she believed every word she said. “I see. Do not worry, we will await your response. This is a big responsibility, after all. Know that we have our utmost faith that you will make the right choice for the future of Equestria– And that our trust in you is absolute.” 

NO FUCKING PRESSURE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I couldn't show weakness in front of her. So I turned around. I turned around and prepared to fucking run. “Okaythankyouverymuchiloveyoui’mgonnagothinkaboutitnow”

“T-thank you for coming…?” Was all I heard her blurt out, as she watched me gallop out of there for my life.

As I ran, looking for any place to have a panic attack in privacy, every single moment in this party, on this day, hell, in the past weeks and months were recontextualized in my mind.

Of course Twilight messaged me through the book anytime she could. She wanted to see more of me.

Of course she already considered me a potential suitor, I was literally dating another version of her, and I, idiot that I am, went on endless tangents about how well I took care of her.

Of course Twilight wanted to talk to me before crossing the portal. She was going to ask me this herself I just, like a fucking idiot, didn’t realise it.

Of course her friends were waiting for us. They thought I would have said yes already. She had talked to all of them about us.

Of course Rarity was hounding her– She was the queen of giving relationship and romance advice– No WONDER Twilight was doused in a gallon of her perfume.

Of course she wanted me to dance with her– She wanted it to be known publicly that she was with somepony, and she wanted it to be me.

Of course they didn’t let me bring a plus one. Twilight wanted me all to herself tonight.

And of course, there was no way she would want my girlfriend present on the night she requested me to vow that I would spend a thousand, loving, incredible years devoted only to her.

That diabolical, adorable, malignant, lovestruck, deranged cutiepie.

I found a quiet balcony to shout as loud as I could, a couple dozen swear words for good measure, and then just scream.

How could I have been so fucking oblivious. How could I have been so fucking stupid. 

Here it was, my biggest wildest dreams, offered to me on a silver platter, and I said “I’ll get back to you on that” And for WHAT. to pay taxes on a smelly world with barely any magic?! On a smelly world that took me in when I had nothing else?!

Why did I ever even consider spending the rest of my life there?


…Because of my Twilight.


My heart sank. I nearly bit the railing I was leaning on, on the realization that I couldn’t have this without losing her.

No. Not losing.

Without ditching her.

Without crushing her.

I let out a couple more screams and curse words into the nightly air for good measure.

And you might be thinking: ‘Sunset, do you love Princess Twilight too?’

Let's not unpack that right now.

I had no fucking idea what to do, and it sure as hell didn’t help that the Princess of Friendship teleported right next to me; wearing my jacket like it was hers.

I flinched, like I was face to face with a monster.

I flinched, like I was face to face with a lover.

“Did everything go okay…?” She asked me, earnestly, genuinely caring about how I was feeling.

Turning away from her, I faced the night, and gritted my teeth. I resisted the urge to bang my head against the railing violently. “Twilight. You planned this all along, didn’t you?”

“...Yes… I did.” She joined my side, but kept her distance, something I was very, very thankful for, because if Twilight Sparkle touched me right now, and if I could feel everything she felt about me, to have made this decision, I have no fucking idea what I’d do, but the one thing I know is that it wouldn’t be sensible, and I'd regret it.

I leaned my forehead against the railing, forcing my eyes closed, I couldn't look at her. For my own sake. “Why. would you ask me this, I have– I have college?!!!”

That last word failed me. The moment I said it, I knew how fucking stupid it sounded.

There was no reality in which human college was more important than ruling Equestria. Not to me. Not to her.

She didn’t answer me, just pouted– I don’t know. I guess she knew I had more to say.

I almost snarled those words, not even in anger. “Why, why, why, WHY would you ask me this, when you KNOW I'm in a committed relationship?!?!”

In another world, no less.

She acted sheepish, like I had caught her stealing cookies. It would be adorable, if I wasn’t fuming. “...I mean… The relationship is with me. A me, I suppose… So…”

“Twilight Sparkle, are you in love with me?!” I asked that, but I honestly didn’t need to. I already knew the answer. It was stupid to even ask. Of course she did. She wouldn’t have asked a god to accept me again– She wouldn’t have asked me to rule with her, for a thousand years, if she didn’t love me.

Nodding slowly, she got really quiet. “It’s just… You’re so perfect for this. You were a pupil of Celestia before even I was. You’re uniquely qualified… You changed so much, you’re so brave, so kind, so confident, I just… You were always ready when I sent you messages. You were always ready to lend advice, to help, to just… Care. I want you closer. Isn’t this perfect? Doesn’t it feel… right?”

“Yes or no.” I don’t know why I even asked this. I don’t know why I pushed it, when I knew the answer.

She took a deep breath. “Sunset Shimmer. I want to spend a thousand years ruling with you, because I love you. Faith isn't what I need to rule Equestria... I need you.” It was the honest truth. She had considered this for weeks, maybe months. She had decided this plainly and completely.

And it fucking hurt. It hurt that this was so perfect.

It hurt that this was everything I ever wanted. 

The Princess of Friendship is in love with me. I involuntarily let out nervous laughter.

“...Do you love me…?” She asked. Oh my god, she asked.

I shuddered, shivered, with an exhale. “Can we not unpack that right now, please?!” I begged.

I guess that answer was enough for her, because it wasn’t a no.

Though it was pretty obvious. I was dating a Twilight Sparkle. She had every reason to know that my affection for one would mean the same for another. She was way too intelligent to not notice how I bent over backwards for her whenever she needed help. Even if I was doing it because we were friends, and... She changed my life, I have a debt that I'll never be able to pay, but...

...I would certainly be able to repay it, in a thousand years.

God fucking damnit.

“So… You know what I want. Sunset, what do you want?” That was the worst possible question to ask me at the moment.

I turned to her, and I refused to spill my guts– that were on fire, by the way. I felt sick, dizzy, even.

“I need to think.” I stated plainly. “I have a life there. I have a love there– I can’t just– I need to think about this.” What the fuck was it there to even think about. The human world didn’t matter. Not compared to the fate of Equestria with a solo, grieving ruler.

Twilight didn't deserve to spend a thousand years alone.

“...okay.” She nodded quietly, at least she seemed to understand how fucking difficult this situation was for me.

She looked at me, almost with a smile. “...Do you want to go back to the party?” 

No, god no, not right now. “I can't. Not now. I can’t be here. I can’t sleep here. I have to– I have to go home.” I immediately teleported onto the gardens below, and she followed.

“W-wait, Sunset! The train stations are not open at this hour!!!” She followed close behind, trying to stop me.

“Then I’ll walk.” I didn’t care how stupid it was. I had to clear my head. I had to be anywhere but here. I couldn’t make a decision like this now– Hell, it wasn’t even a decision.

“Wait!!” She teleported in front of me, stopping my progress, and placing a hoof on my chest. “Your... Your jacket.”

She looked almost sad to let it go. She looked inconsolable, actually. And her touch translated that to me perfectly. Which only made me feel worse, of course. Fuck. every time she brushed closer to me I could feel her fears, and I could feel her joys. She really, really wanted this.

“Twilight… You have to know how hard this is for me. Please understand.”  I can’t believe I was the one apologizing after everything. Goddamnit. 

She nodded slowly, and got a bit closer.

“You don’t have to walk. I’ll teleport you there, okay…?” As an Alicorn, it would be an easy feat. I was so frazzled I didn’t even think about it.

I accepted her touch, I accepted her embrace, ugh, and I hated how good it felt, not just for me, but for her. With a slow, channeling flash, we were both in her library once more; And we even took pieces of the garden grass with us.

I looked at the mirror, inviting me to leave. Then I looked back at her, inviting me to stay.

Closing my eyes, I winced. “Look, just– Give me a couple of days… Okay…?”

“Take as long as you need, but please don’t disappear…” She was nearly begging me. She was nearly pleading for me to stay.

All I could do was nod. Because I couldn’t stay here. Every second moved me closer to something I’d regret with every fiber of my being, and I was having a shit night as it is.

“I’ll wait for you, okay?” She said, in a very familiar, close tone. In a very familiar, loving tone.

I was the first to let go of the hug we shared, of course. Because her feelings rushing out of her skin were intoxicating, and the perfume didn’t help.

I practically ran at the mirror.





Shivering, shuddering, I quickly, and shakingly fished my phone out of my pocket– The streetlamps were my only source of light outside the moon, as I stood, panicking outside the halls of CHS.

The air was heavy, it was warm. It wasn’t as fresh as Equestria's. The sky was cloudy, no stars, unlike Equestria.

3am. 

A handful of missed texts from Pinkie pie, she seemed to be raving about a new game she played, and wanting to show me it. She also asked me how the gala went.

The group chat was sharing memes related to college students, now that we were officially in there. Rainbow spammed one that said “Why be on college when I could be grillin’” and Applejack laughed hysterically at one that depicted a picture of a man fishing on a riverside that said “College told me to work at a bank but didn’t specify which one” and Fluttershy posted an image of a bundle of seven cuddling kittens, with the caption “Us”

A couple of missed texts from Twilight. “I hope the party went great!! Tell me about it when you make it back! <3 Also check this out: 👽← Bogos Binted”

I gritted my teeth.

And let out a couple more screams and swears into the night for good measure.

What the fuck am I going to do.
> Sunset, what are the pros and cons?
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Yeah. If my Twi was here, that’s what she’d do. Sort out the pros and cons.

Unfortunately, she’s not, and I feel like I’m dead.

How can I be so exhausted and yet have lost this much sleep.

How can I want to immediately tell my friends about all of this, and yet, have the need to hide.

How can I receive the best news of my life, and yet, feel horrible.

Okay I shouldn’t waste my time moping. Even if moping sounds pretty damn good right now. I stayed in bed for what felt like hours, and honestly it might as well have been; When I turned on my phone and checked it, I was surprised to see it was only midday.

Surprised, here, because I expected to stay in bed for 24 hours.

And another surprise, one I first noticed through my back pain and sore joints– I never made it to my bed, I just collapsed on the couch and called it a night. Great job, past me. At the very least past me had the decency to hug plushie Philomena in her sleep.

Suddenly, a jolt of adrenaline coursed through me– I sat up, hastingly grabbed my phone, and called my Twilight.

Those quiet phone beeps had never felt so fucking ominous– I stared at nothing, as I waited for my girlfriend to pick up– And realized I had no idea what I would say when she did. 

The seconds passed like an infinity, my eyes were dry, so was my throat, and WOW I felt like I needed a proper breakfast, despite my stomach twisting in on itself– But I sat, utterly still, waiting.

And waiting.

“Hi, this is Twilight Sparkle, I can’t come to the ph– ACK”

This was followed by the unmistakable sound of my girlfriend dropping her phone and scurrying to get it.

“Ow ow, Oh gosh– Ok. It’s not broken. Um, uh, leave a message after the thingy!”

I immediately turned off the call– And let out a sigh of relief. What the hell was I thinking?? What was I even going to say?! The fact she didn’t pick up was some sort of divine gift and I should NOT waste it.

I patted myself– Noticing I was still fully wearing my party clothes, and all my accessories. letting out several groans of disappointment, I started removing several of those spiked bands and other things, and then, had a realization.

What if all the events of last night were just a messed up dream?? Oh that would be wonderful. Of course, no pony would EVER see me fit to rule Equestria, Princess Twilight would never be that afraid or even attracted to me, Celestia would never so enthusiastically want to take me in again, it was just a dream! Totally! A really messed up dream. I didn’t have to worry about it.

I worried about it.

With the same twisted knot in my gut and jolt of adrenaline, I scurried over to my living room table and hastingly opened the book that Princess Twilight used to contact me.



I’m so sorry to already be messaging you, but I needed to check on you, I’m really worried.

I’m so sorry if it felt like I was pushing a massive weight on you last night. I wanted to tell you before we even crossed the mirror– I should have been able to put a hoof down and make sure you understood what I meant and I just

Whatever happens, whatever you prefer, just know that I'm sorry. I hoped that my offer would be more good than bad. Please just know that I’ll be here for whatever help you need deciding.

And that you can say no… If you don’t want to do this, you can say no.



Oh no.

It wasn’t a dream.

How can I be so fucking twisted over this, and yet be so relieved that the offer is there.

I almost rushed to grab a pen, then immediately stopped. Think, for once, think.

Princess Twilight was out there beating herself up for offering me all my wildest dreams on a silver platter. That just didn’t fucking feel right to me. She deserved to know that she was literally just… Casually, and lovingly handing me the possibility of having everything I ever wanted; Including her, mind you.

I didn’t blame her– I didn’t blame her OR Celestia, for thinking that my human problems and relationships didn’t matter as much as the issues that happened in Equestria. I’m from Equestria, those problems should be mine too– And what’s more, Earth, apart from the occasional Equestrian magic attack, is not threatened by anything more than global warming. And you can’t use friendship laser blasts on global warming.

And honestly, think. Imagine if you walked up to a human guy on the street and said “Hey there’s magical ponies in another dimension to ours that are fighting to save their world right now!” Like, you’d be lucky, if that person gave an iota of a shit about a world that isn’t theirs, provided they even believed you. Now try doing that to a Princess, a Queen, or a god.

The problems in Equestria mattered a lot more to me than Earth’s problems. I was genuinely concerned everytime Twilight mentioned another villain, another monster, another crisis. And a big concern was because I couldn’t do anything to help a girl I really, really cared about. But I always defaulted to the excuse that it wasn’t my world, so it wasn’t my problem… But it could be. Now it could be.

Fuck, did I want it to be.

And also, I was the fucking idiot that didn’t notice that she was trying to tell me she loved me before I crossed that mirror; Though to be fair, how could I have ever GUESSED that the  Princess of FRIENDSHIP was in love with me?! She’s never been in love with anypony; Why would she be into a girl that’s a world away??

…That’s kind of really close to what happened with my Twilight, isn’t it. Goddamnit. Yeah, I was way too dense to realize that’s what the Princess was trying to tell me at the time– Not that I would have said no or yes then– But at least it would have just been me and her, and not— Half of Canterlot, and Celestia…

Celestia…

She personally offered to have me back.

Celestia wants me back.

Before I noticed I was biting the skin off the sides of my fingers in anxiety, fidgeting with my skin, I was crawling into myself. Where I a pony right now, I would likely be bucking things. I missed being able to sprint in four legs in any grassland to relieve stress.

I tried breathing deeply, I tried centering myself, but…

I grabbed my phone and checked my dms. Specifically, Twilight.

“Cadance is taking me to get hair makeovers before lunch– And no, I don’t have a choice, and yes, I will send embarrassing pictures when I can. :P Love you! I hope the party was fine. If I miss a call, it’s because deranged things are being done to my hair!”

I couldn’t help but let out a weary chuckle– Twilight has that effect on me– And I almost immediately shuddered with the implications of what might happen between me and her in the following days, if not the following hours.

Quickly glancing at my dms, I could see a handful of curious and concerned messages from Pinkie. I really appreciated them-- But honestly, if I started a conversation with her now, it wouldn't end-- And I might end up spilling my guts about this whole deranged debacle. No way.

I went to the group chat of all my friends, hoping to have some good news– not that any could possibly change my current fucking circumstances.

One message from Applejack. “Howdy, y’all! How about we do rehearsals this afternoon, then go out to celebrate our admissions into CCC? My barn, of course; Hopin y’all are free!” 

It seemed that most of my friends had confirmed they were interested already; Twilight was not one of them, likely stuck in a hair salon with Cadance.

I grimaced; The last thing I needed was to be surrounded by six curious friendly adorable incredible people, wondering how my super cool party from another dimension went. I didn’t want to, but I had to say something. And then I had to figure out what the fuck I was going to do. And then, and then, and then…

One step at a time. Breathe.

I’m so fucked.

“Sorry, everyone, I’m feeling under the weather after the party, might be something I ate in Equestria. I’ll pass on rehearsal today if that’s okay!” There, that sounded normal, right? It didn’t sound suspicious, or… 

I stopped. 

My stress caught up to me.

I put my phone on the table and stood up. 

And rushed to the kitchen sink; thinking if I was about to puke.

Lucky for me, my shitty apartment is basically only one room, so it was a short trip.

And I have good news, probably the best news, since I was offered to enter a literal godly position in a magical world that was my home– the good news is I DIDN'T puke! Wow! Sunset Shimmer just can’t stop winning!

Water. I rushed and grabbed some cold water from the fridge and drank desperately– And then scoured my fridge or anything at all for any sort of snack. Any sort of sustenance that wouldn’t require me to cook at a time like this.

Out of cereal, fuck. Granola bars would have to do.

I walked– nearly a sprint, really, back to the couch, as I munched desperately, and breathed deeply, attempting to stave off the anxious nausea.

It’s ironic. The last time I felt this nervous was before the battle of the bands with the Dazzlings, those weeks where I tried being a good person for the first time, and knew that there was nothing I could say or do to convince people I was better.

It was almost a nostalgic anxiety– Here I was, once again, incredibly unsure of my future, and incredibly unsure of who I was… The irony was not lost on me.

And with the quiet munching of that granola bar, I successfully managed to stall from having to make a decision and/or breaking the hearts of the people I love by telling them I’d like to leave them forever! Wow!! Go me!

I leaned back on the couch, frankly, I could have just gone back to sleep. But I struggle to imagine my stress would let me. 

The phone buzzed, and I grabbed it hastingly. A message from AJ in the groupchat. “That’s a bummer, Sunset!! Do you need us to come over? Me and Rares are together right now, we could bring some snacks and medical supplies or somethin.”

I couldn’t risk my incredibly caring friends barging in here. “No thanks, I'll ride it out, but keep you girls posted. Thanks for worrying about me!”

I felt… disgusting. 

For pretending that what was happening wasn’t happening.

With a huge exhale, I grabbed a pen, and brought the book closer to me. Studying the messages the Princess sent me, and I tried formulating a proper answer, or at least the most proper I could, under the circumstances.



Twilight, it’s okay. 

Look, about last night, you didn’t do anything wrong, okay? I was the idiot that didn’t notice what you were trying to tell me before I crossed that mirror.

And besides, what you’re offering me is literally everything I've ever wanted since I was a filly. You knew that, I knew that, but…

I need time to think. I don’t even know if or how I could even talk to my friends about this, or even how I could make this decision.

My brain is working overdrive right now– I don’t want to worry about yours too, okay? 

Just… give me time to sort this out.




I exhaled, Realizing I was maybe being too nice to her. But honestly, the day I start being mean and bitter to Twilight Sparkle, ANY Twilight Sparkle, is the day I shove my head through the mouth of a Chimera.

‘Sort this out’... what a joke. Like I knew what the fuck I would even do. 

I took a pensive bite out of my granola bar, trying to almost pretend like I was figuring out a solution to this.

Then I thought. What would my Twilight do?

Think objectively. Pros and cons.

What is the good side of staying on earth, vs what is the good side of staying in Equestria?

Okay, let’s do this.

Holding the pen in one hand, granola bar in the other, I stood up– And looked for a piece of paper to write on.

I found one, and winced when I saw what it was. The unfinished portrait of my girlfriend. Fuck.

No, no time to mope or feel like the worst piece of shit in the entire world– It’s time to think objectively.

What are the pros and cons?

Ironically, one world’s pros, are the other’s cons…

I flipped the page, and wrote on the back.

STAYING IN THE HUMAN WORLD, PROS

- I don’t have to break Twilight’s heart. 

Well, this one was obvious. The most important piece in this incredibly messed up puzzle. I can’t choose to go to Equestria without hurting Twilight– And I love her so fucking much. How the fuck would I even tell her? There’s absolutely no way that it’d end well, no matter what. And I couldn’t bear to hurt her.

- College with friends I've had for years will be great.

I certainly was looking forward to the good times I’d have with them, but I couldn’t help but think about the fact that I had no clue what career I wanted, and how I just… Didn’t like the monetary System here on earth. It felt like I was always in danger of losing an already shitty apartment, and we had so much homework– So many classes about lame things– ugh…

And what’s more, I would MUCH rather have lessons on being a Princess/becoming an Alicorn. Now that’s a future.

No. don’t get sidetracked. Positives. Positives. 

I, uh…

- After college, University, just me and Twilight, would be a dream.

If I even passed… Gosh, she’s so intelligent, she’s a shoo in. Man, I really want to see what she would do with her life… I guess that would be a positive, right? Getting to see what amazing thing this Twilight would become? And generally, being able to be side by side as she grows?

I froze.

The only reason Twilight didn’t go to Everton University was because of me. Because I offered that we went to Canterlot Community College just so everyone stayed together.

Shit.

If I left for Equestria, I would have robbed her of that chance at her dream University for nothing at all.

- My friends know me fully, and I know them, and they love me. 

In Equestria, I’d have to make those friendships all over again– That wasn’t just a chore– I'd feel BAD whenever I heard their voices and thought of the friends I left behind.

And not just that, I’d feel weird, considering that Princess twilight would just be like “Hey. You have to be friends with my future wife” Like. is that friendship nepotism? Is that a thing?

I don’t know. All I know is that these human girls picked me up at my worst, and stayed with me all the way to my best. I owe them everything. I love them.

- I like having fingers.

This one's self explanatory. Fingers are agile, and useful, but I will admit, the only thing I'd miss them for in Equestria is playing guitar. Playing it with hooves is nuts. Oh. And, uh, other skills, significantly more unchaste, that I learned to use fingers for here in the human world.

Though I will say, magic is even more practical than fingers, and has a multitude of applications– And oh man, if I had Alicorn powers, fuck that would be so awesome. 

Goddamnit, positives of the human world, focus on that.

- Living a human lifespan with Twilight wouldn’t be bad.

Sure, living for 1000 years is something, but a single lifespan with someone you love isn’t bad… Shit, I guess 1000 years with someone you love is better. I won’t scratch this out, though.

Because no matter what, it’d be a lifetime with someone I love. Positives in both ways, aging with someone, versus not aging with someone, because you don’t age.

- My friends might need my help to fight Equestrian magic

Actually, scratch this one. They really don’t need my help. Sure they like to say I'm their leader, but it’s always a team effort, and the six of them are incredibly capable. It does fit as something I like about this world, but it’s dwindling– and besides, what I wouldn’t GIVE to fight some of the bad guys Princess Twilight keeps talking about.

- I would miss gaming if I left.

I’m really scratching the bottom of the barrel now.

I’ve gotta admit, videogames are pretty incredible, one of the most impressive human inventions. It's such a “Hey, what if we made crazy shit that literally only passes the time and entertains” And then some of the games are just. Sweeping incredible works of art, or just amazingly engaging tests of your reflexes.

I considered, for a moment, if I could, as a princess, introduce video games to Equestria, like they exist here. But damnit, without fingers, it’d be tough. Huge human win.

- I would miss movies and TV– especially enjoying it with friends.


Okay I've got to admit, these kinds of things are pretty mundane, but I’ve watched plenty of shows and movies with my friends, especially with my girlfriend, and it’s just– cozy to do.

I started spinning the pen in between my fingers, lost in thought.

Was this really all I liked about living here? All I was looking forward to? 

I considered adding something about traveling, but frankly, from what I had seen, nothing in this world would impress me more than the vistas in Equestria, not to mention, I only enjoyed traveling here because it’s with my friends. Hell, that first Everfree camping trip we had was unforgettable– And not just because we got powers from it.

Just… My friends. I love them.

And here I am, considering leaving them.

What kind of person or pony does that even make me?

And it certainly doesn’t inspire much confidence that all I can think of is barely TEN positive things about Earth. Only a handful of reasons for me to stay.

I kept fidgeting with the pen, for a little while longer.

And I came to a disheartening realization.

I don’t like Earth as much as I thought.

It’s a smelly, loud world, with few regards for nature and no magic. I hate my small, cramped apartment, not because I can’t make a life here– But because I know I could have better in Equestria, with less worry. It’s a world with few adventures of its own– In fact, almost all of the adventures I had here were caused by magic from my homeworld.

I came to the realization that I was only so content in spending the rest of my days here, because of my friends, and because of Twilight. 

…And because I thought I had nothing to go back to.

…But now I do.

…Inherently… Human Sunset Shimmer is inferior to Princess Sunset Shimmer. 

Now staying in the human world felt like being complacent. It felt like settling for less.

I hate this feeling.

I grabbed my plushie phoenix and held her tightly. Oh Philomena, we’re really in it now…

No. No time for moping. My decision hasn't been made yet, and I still need to think about every angle possible.

RETURNING TO EQUESTRIA, PROS

- I really, really want to be an Alicorn.  I want to fly. 

I have wanted this since I was a foal. Since the first time I saw Celestia demonstrate her power and her elegance, I thought to myself. That’s what I want to be. 

Hell– It was when I got my cutie mark, when I first saw her demonstrate her might, fighting a monster that was attacking my town. She made it look effortless, wasn’t even touched, and she remained incredibly composed.

I would have given everything to be like her. And I guess I tried to. I tried so hard, I convinced myself I was worthy, that it was my destiny, but it wasn’t. I was just a hard headed, stubborn Unicorn, a selfish, bitter, entitled pupil that couldn’t see past my muzzle and my desire for power.

…But I changed.

…And now… Celestia herself offered me another chance at it. And it might sound weird, but… I know I wouldn’t screw it up this time. I’ve been humbled enough. And what’s more, I know now, how much stronger I can be, when I have friendship and love.

I want to fly… I want wings. I want to have the strongest kind of magic– And I want to use it right, with humility.

I want to be an Alicorn.

- I really want to be a Princess.

Fuck, do I want to be a Princess. I want to be known– To be respected and loved– But I also want it to be for the right reasons. I want pointless parties that I have to learn etiquette for. I want pointless galas that I can dance with Twilight on.

I want… I want to one day be Celestia’s equal. I want to inherit the sun. God, do I want that... I want Rarity to push me to wear fancy poofy dresses– I want to pretend I don’t like it. I want… I want, above everything, to discover what kind of Princess I would be. If not of Friendship, then what? I don’t know. 

But I want to know.

- I miss Celestia so much.

I never thought I deserved to see her again, or to walk by her side, and yet, she asked me to. The Princess of the Sun forgave me, and wants me back, and I miss being her pupil so fucking much. 

Those weren’t even the best years of my life– But they were the most hopeful. And I want them back, and I want to do it right.

This time, I’d do it right. Because I’d do it with Twilight.

- I get to see my parents again– On good terms, no less.

I never considered going back to see them again– but one thing’s for sure. If I was a Princess, if I had the good news that Everything was okay, and that I was trying again, a changed pony…

Nothing would hold me back anymore. I could see them again, with no weight of failure on my shoulders. With good news.

Hey mom, hey dad… I’m a princess now. And I’m with another Princess. Sorry for being gone all these years, but these news will be enough to earn your forgiveness!

Honestly, that doesn’t even sound absurd.

- I miss magic so much.

This one is self explanatory– As a Unicorn, magic is a part of you, you feel it in your breathing, in your heartbeat, in your skin. That sensation is unmatched, and what’s more, being an Alicorn…

I have no clue how it’d feel, but I want to find out.

- I miss being a pony, galloping, feeling the breeze.

I’m not going to lie. Humans don’t have that much over ponies– If not for fingers, boobs, and maybe six-packs, I’d say ponies are superior. We get to sprint easily, we aren’t prude over clothes, we’re incredibly fast, and generally, no matter what, sitting, standing, laying down, we’re always comfortable.

And it’s not just that, we’re just– We’re more connected to nature. 

Feeling the breeze, feeling the grass, just… being, it’s different in Equestria. Very different from being a human. 

Ugh, I hate how one-sided this is feeling.

- Equestria is beautiful, and it’s serene.

I covered this on the other list already, but… Equestria is just prettier. Anything is possible, all sorts of vistas and horizons. It’s like the sky has more color– as if every home, every city, is with more life.

There’s adventures out there to be had– And if I was with Twilight, even in training, i’d get some wild fucking adventures, I just know it. 

Meanwhile, here on earth…

- I get to make new friends.

I will say, as much as I’d hate leaving my friends here, I am really curious about the kinds of ponies I’d meet, as a new pupil of Celestia… And not just that. Making the same friends again, there's something really interesting with that.

Even in casual visits, I liked observing Twilight’s friends, and seeing the little ways in which they diverge from mine. It’d be an interesting experiment, observing that from closer!

- I get to live somewhere better. Maybe Ponyville?

Twilight’s told me a lot about Ponyville. And honestly… I’d be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy every visit. There’s a certain magic there, I don't know how to explain it…

Wait. Would Twilight want me to live with her in her castle? 

Oh man…

- Living a 1000 years with Twilight would be really, really good.

Okay. I know I said I don’t want to unpack how I feel about the princess- and I don’t, not now, but…

Gosh. 1000 years with her… man. That would be…

- Exploring more of Equestria as a princess would be incredible.

As a Princess, I’d get to visit so many places, see so many sights… oh man, I wonder if Celestia would want us to go to the Hall of Unity!!! Oh, man…

- I want to be a legend.

Okay. This is thinking WAY far ahead, and WAY too hopeful, but like… The first pupil of Celestia, a dejected failure, rising from the ashes, but then returning incredibly better, earning a place alongside her and one day a place in her throne, side by side with her other pupil– Oh man, if me and Twilight ruled together, I’m CERTAIN we’d bring about a golden age in Equestria–

Okay. I’m getting way far ahead of myself. Let’s just put “I want a statue or two of me” here and call it.

- Equestria might really need me.

Speaking of ruling Equestria– I will say, through everything that Twilight’s said, it seems pretty clear that Equestria is often in peril, and it’s just her and her friends in the front lines.

Celestia and Luna won't be there forever– What’s more, her friends won't be there forever. Having a second Alicorn sharing a throne to help– Especially one that isn’t afraid to kick ass– Could be just what Equestria needs!

I could genuinely, not only be wanted, but be needed, too.

- Twilight might really need me.

She… She said she needed me. And although I have unending faith in the Princess of Friendship, I can’t help but feel like she might be right.

Ruling for a thousand years alone… I didn’t want her to go through with that. I didn’t want anyone at all to, really–

And my mind raced with thoughts of being there for her. And I hated it. But I loved it.

I dropped my pen, and covered my face, feeling my exhaustion, feeling my fluster.

Goddamnit, this list feels biased. I hate that it feels like I already know what I want here. I feel like I could keep writing reasons for staying in Equestria endlessly– And that was bad… Considering who I’d have to hurt to do that.

What the hell am I going to do…?

Here I was, stuck. I had no idea how to make this decision. Alone in my tiny apartment, crawling out of my skin, what the hell would I do? I’m not sure I’m qualified to make this call– I’m completely biased.

I nearly jumped as I was snapped out of my trance, by seeing the book from Princess Twilight glow.

With a concerned and weary exhale, I picked up the book.



I’m happy to know you’re not doing bad, at least, and thank you, thank you for not saying no immediately.

If you need any help deciding, I’m here for you; But I do have a suggestion. I know it sounds nuts, but whenever I have a Princess problem, I usually delegate! Asking my friends is a surefire way to get a less biased opinion. Maybe that could work for you?

Sorry, I’m just a bit nervous. I hope you’re okay.



Princess Twilight, you adorable genius. 

The answer was right in front of me– I HAVE to tell my friends, yes, but better yet, I need their opinion. I could make it almost like a vote– Their opinion matters WAY more than mine, since they’re the ones I’d be leaving!

They deserve to know– And frankly, I deserve to be smacked around, If that’s what they think is right.

Honestly this might sound a bit masochist– But having them be mad at me– Seeing their negative reactions– it’s just what I need to erase this bias. 

Yeah. I don’t care if it hurts. I’ll tell them. I need their opinion. But first…



Twilight, you’re a genius– Thank you.

You’re right. My friends are just what I need right now. I’ll tell them about this– before I've made a decision, and maybe that’ll help me make it!

And also. Thank you. Really. For giving me this chance. I know you know I want it– but you might not be able to understand just how much I really want it. It means everything. Thank you. 

You’re everything.



I stopped myself for a moment– Because I almost wrote “I love you” in there.

No. I shouldn’t do this. Not through texting, no less. In fact… I shouldn't be talking through her like this with a barrier between us. Not her, and not my Twilight.

I kind of shuddered, realizing I wanted both Twilight’s with me right now. Forever, actually.

A conflict of interest there…



I’m really glad to hear it! And I hope to hear from you soon. Celestia has not changed her opinion in the slightest– She still would love to have you back as a pupil, and what’s more, I’d be there to tutor you too!

We could both live in Ponyville! I could show you around my favorite places, my friends could too– Heck I’d love to show you the school of friendship! I bet Starlight would love to give you a tour

I’m getting ahead of myself, sorry, sorry!

It’s just… I know that if we ruled together, just… Together, we would never be afraid of the dark.

…You know?

...Yeah. I know. I’ll take the excitement as a compliment, don’t worry.

Thanks for everything– I'll message you again later. I have to figure out which of my friends to talk to first. 

See you! And again, thanks for everything. 



Okay, okay, now I have sort of a plan.

Sort of.

I sat there, fidgeting, wondering what exactly I should do next.

Then I flinched– My phone rang, and it wasn’t just any ringtone, it was Twilights.

I sat there, for a moment, hearing her angelic voice sing to me. “Come away with me, be the legend you were meant to be, you will always be, Everfree!!”

That put a smile on my face, even as I exhaled, even as I felt exhausted. It was like she held me up, and I smiled like an idiot, sitting there, just hearing her sing.

I blinked, snapped out of it, and answered the phone– it was so strange now, hearing her voice through the phone, when I wanted to be near her so badly.

“Heya sleepyhead!” She was so cheerful, so happy to hear from me.

“Hi, Twilight!” I tried my best to keep a good energy, and not show stress, but lucky for me, it was easy, hearing her voice.

“You sound a bit tired, but I’m not surprised. That party must have been a rager! How was sleeping in a castle?”

“Oh, I didn’t sleep there after all, I came home, I was pretty exhausted.”

She could tell. She could tell that something happened. “Gosh, what happened? Is everything okay?”

I hesitated a bit. How much should I tell her- Considering I absolutely didn’t want to share the news over the phone…? “...Yeah. Something pretty big and messy happened. It was… It was a weird night.”

“Do you wanna talk about it? I saw that you said you were under the weather, maybe I could come over, we could binge watch something, have some quiet fun?” That sounded fucking incredible right now– But no, I couldn’t. I couldn’t pretend nothing had happened, and not just that, I didn’t deserve to have a nice time with her and to act like everything was fine between us.

“No, that’s okay Twi. Actually… I want to tell you something, but I need to run it by our friends first, okay?”

“Oooohhh is it a surprise? Or a secret?”

“S-something like that” My voice failed me. She couldn’t, in a hundred years, predict what I wanted to say, and that just made me feel worse. “I just need a couple second opinions on this before I run it by you, okay?”

“Of course! I’m excited, heheh. By the way, did you see my pictures?” 

“Uh, no, what pictures?”

“Oh you check the dms when you can. Let’s just say my hair has been pilfered thoroughly, like an ancient tomb.”

That got a chuckle out of me, but I needed to stay focussed. “I’ll definitely check it asap!”

“Yeah! Oh and we have to decide with the girls what’s the proper date to celebrate getting into college, all of them are super excited to be together, and honestly, I am too!!”

“Y-yeah, me too.”

“So how was the grand galloping gala, anyways?”

I loved hearing her voice, but every second we spoke was another chance of me slipping up– I had to be pragmatic. “I’ll tell you later– Listen, I’ve gotta go, I’ll let you know when we can meet and run that thing by you, okay?”

“Oh, okay…” She sounded a bit disappointed, and I can’t blame her. “Well, I’ll see you later. I love you, Sunsun!”

“I-I love you, Twilight.” That was hard to say. Not because I didn’t mean it. But because it felt like I didn’t deserve to say it.

Not after all of this. 

Not after I was considering doing this.

I turned off the call, and exhaled, shaking my head.

Focus. One step at a time.

Still looking at my phone, I scrolled on my dms, and went to Applejack directly.

“Hey AJ. Is it just you and Rarity together in Apple Acres right now?”

I fidgeted a bit more, gathering myself. The response took a little bit, and I wasn’t surprised, Applejack had a certain tunnel vision when she was with Rarity.

I quickly looked at Twilight’s dms, and was bombarded with adorable pictures of her hair being made in a handful of absurd ways– but honestly? She could pull them off incredibly.

Cadence was clearly snickering as she took those pictures, while Twilight had a mix of amusement and disdain– But I’ll be honest, that little nerd is beautiful. She really could pull off any look.

I could see her descriptions of the pics, and she specifically went “I can’t believe I agreed to this” in the end.

Smirking, I was quick to text “I thought Rarity was the one that could pull off any look, but you’re putting her to shame, Sparkles.”

I yelled a curse word out, fuck, this was NOT the time for flirting, it was NOT the time for oogling over my adorable girlfriend, I needed to FOCUS!!!

My phone buzzed, and I saw a response from Applejack. It involuntarily made me stand up.

“No partner, we’re at her place right now, but it’s just us, why?”

I breathed deeply. This was it.

“I’m coming over. I need to talk to you two about something, and it’s big.”
> Sunset, can you get a second opinion?
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Yeah. That’s definitely what I need right now. 

Especially if they can convince me not to do this.

Twilight was right. Think like a Princess. What does a Princess do when she needs help? She delegates.

First Rarity and AJ; Maybe I’ll be lucky and get Fluttershy and Rainbow at the same time, and then, the big guns, Pinkie.

You can’t blame me for leaving Twilight for last.

I’ll burn that bridge when I get to it.

I took the list of Pros and cons with me just in case– Well, just pros. They were each other’s cons nearly every time. The cons were fairly obvious to anyone that understood my situation, that much was pretty damn clear. 

I also made sure to take my geode with me, just in case. Well, if the evening went as I expected, knowing exactly how my friends felt would be helpful…Ish.

I kind of rushed there, and had to park my motorbike a bit further from Rarity’s house– Kind of a rich stuffy neighborhood that doesn’t allow motorbikes on it. Honestly I will say– Rarity is surprisingly nice and generous and everything, considering how she carries herself out, and her upbringing– But I guess you could say that about all my friends, they’re pretty amazing. 

A bad habit of mine was frequently checking messages from Twilight whenever I was out and about, and well, considering how stressed I was, I didn’t even realize I was doing it until the phone was already fully open in my hands.

“I thought Rarity was the one that could pull off any look, but you’re putting her to shame, Sparkles.” I had nearly forgotten I had sent that impulsively just before– And I was now checking her response.

“I accidentally ran into my door reading that message I hope you’re happy x3” 

Adorable. 

…And relatable, because I nearly tripped and fell over being distracted by her message– Certainly a deja vu, this exact thing likely had happened to us both before, on the many times I flirted through text. 

Can we just take a moment to appreciate how despite how nerve wracked I was I still managed a near perfect roll that left me decently unharmed, and more importantly, my phone? Sure I might have deserved to wreck my shit on the sidewalk then and there but wow. Applause!

Either way, that was adorable, us getting distracted by each other like that.

Certainly wasn’t the first time. 

…But it might be the last.

Fuck. 

Any pretense of texting back with a witty or flirtatious retort or anything in between vanished when my mind spiraled on that thought and I couldn’t let it go.

I just reacted with a heart emoji and left it as is; Breathing uneasily walking on that fancy– ass sidewalk. At least Rarity’s place was nearby.

I suppressed my very-recently-and-yet-frequent urge to yell out curse words or maybe scream at my own circumstances. Last I needed was some assholes calling the cops on me.

…Though I’d have a pretty good excuse on why I didn’t make a decision if I was in jail…

No. nope! Images of Pinkie staging a prison break and blowing the joint to hell immediately flashed in my mind, and no matter how awesome, I don’t think I want my friend– or even friends if she got the others in on it– On a watchlist.

Hell. Even Princess Twilight would likely show up and blow up the precinct with friendship lasers. That imagery amused me, but it was certainly not time for amusement right now– I didn’t deserve it.

I just put my phone away and tried not thinking about it. Lucky me, Rarity’s house was right there, and funny enough, there was a truck parked right in front of it, and I recognized it instantly. Big Mac’s, no doubt. Through some brief scanning I could see Applejack packing several boxes into it, with Rarity supervising. 

Not the first time, certainly not the last– She was likely packing dresses for an atelier, or some sort of market, and Big Mac would deliver them for her to sell and showcase in the next morning. Speaking of deja vu’s…

“Hey girls!” I hoped my stress and exhaustion couldn’t be read in the way I spoke. “Same as last time?”

Rarity perked up with a nod, hearing my voice, and immediately pointed at one of the boxes. “Sunset, darling! Just in time! Could you–”

“Of course!” I might as well make myself useful– Though no amount of community service could ever make up for the news I'd deliver in a bit. Hey, all that working out has to be for something, right? Lifting two biggass boxes at once, without struggle. Hell yeah.

Though of course, I could never match Applejack, nor would I ever try. “Thanks, partner!” She said, with that classic warm smile, passing by me carrying four boxes. And let me tell you four was little for her– She was only carrying that little because she didn’t want to risk any of them falling and damaging her girlfriend’s dresses. That’s one thing I always liked about AJ– She may be strong as hell, but she’s super gentle and kind.

And of course, Rarity was merely orchestrating, rather than lifting, but I can’t blame her, she was a fan of watching AJ work.

Okay let me take a bisexual sidebar here, and point out my friends look phenomenal. Sure, neither are really my type, but you can appreciate artwork without it being your thing! Rarity’s hair was always in an impeccable state– There’d need to be a storm happening for it to be out of place, and even the many villains we faced could hardly ever damage it– and I will refrain commenting on her awesome body out of respect. That’s for Applejack to dream of. I salute her though.

And speak of the farmer: She’s the tallest of us, and she’s somehow jacked but also super soft– Like a friendly fridge that could wrestle bears– She gives the best damn hugs, when she’s not squeezing a bit too hard out of joy. She’s got a handsome ruggedness to her that’s just fantastic– Even despite how tall I am I still have to look up, a lot of the time when talking to her– And it’s kind of funny.

Appreciation aside, I have no shame in admitting that they’re not my type. “Beautiful” and “handsome” are both good, but it’s very clear, given my history, that I’m weak for “cute”.

Hell, Flash wasn’t my first, and sure, I was only doing it for popularity at the time, but I wouldn’t have managed to stand him if he didn’t have that nice and kinda dumb demeanor about him– It made him pretty cute in my eyes, heh. I’m glad me and him are still friends– Though trying to get him to be a gamer was a bit of a challenge– he mostly prefers farming games, which is kind of a funny contrast to being the school himbo/jock.

And of course, in the subject of cute, my Twilight literally from day 1 had these big ass glasses and sopping wet eyes– Even on the friendship games I was already thinking “I need to keep this girl safe from everything” Though to be fair, the Princess is no slouch in that department either.

The first time I met the Princess of Friendship– Discovering I had been replaced by someone “Better” I obviously denied her superiority. After all, she was a klutzy nerd that had just gained wings. How in the world could she be better than me? But oh, she was, devastatingly so. Celestia replaced me with someone endlessly humble– And equally wise. And most dangerous of all… Cute as hell.

It sometimes baffled me how cute the Princess of Friendship was. Like damn. You replaced me with an adorable little nerd, and it worked with flying colors. Well played, Celestia. Twilight is incredible.

I should stop thinking about her– Both of the Twi’s– focus on the now. One problem at a time.

We finished loading the boxes per Rarity’s instructions, and with a friendly pat on the back of the truck, AJ signaled to her brother that he could go, an action that her brother responded with a quiet salute, before taking off.

Now their attention turned properly to me– And they were happy to see me– Something that felt alien to me at the moment. Applejack immediately gave me her trademark happy hug, lifting me off the ground, one I struggled to reciprocate. “How's It goin’, partner! We thought you were sick or somethin!” 

Words were squeezed out of me. “I sort of am. Can we talk inside?” I could feel her joy seeping out of her skin, and it was such a contrast to how I felt now.

“Of course, darling. Please!” Rarity, with a friendly wave, motioned us both inside. I think I went in in a bit of a hurry, part of me wanted to disappear, the other, wanted to rip off the bandaid immediately.

I went directly towards her couch, taking a seat, and kind of stared at the floor, ignoring every little detail in her lovely living room, ignoring that her cat, Opal, was staring at me from one of the arms of the couch, judging my sins.

“Can I get you anything? Tea perhaps?” Rarity asked, in her usual host manner, an action that nearly immediately made me realize that my breakfast had been a simple granola bar, a realization that my stomach made amply clear seconds after.

“I, uh, tea’s fine, and if you have something to snack on I wouldn’t mind, I skipped breakfast.” Why did I say that? I should have just kept my mouth shut and asked for nothing.

Applejack, who was a mere second from taking a friendly seat in front of me on Rarity’s other couch, one of many, actually, immediately halted. No friend would say ‘I skipped breakfast’ When it was past lunchtime on her watch. I skipped both meals, actually. “Oh, no way, no hay. Ya ain’t skippin’ breakfast or lunch on my watch. Sugarcube! Pancake time!”

“On it, dear!” I heard Rarity say with with a smile as she walked towards the kitchen, already using her gem powers to open cupboards and ready items–

“Stop.” I said that much louder than I should have. But I guess it worked, because they both stopped, and looked at me with a justifiably concerned look.

Their kindness was misplaced. Any other day I would have gladly joined them– And enjoyed it, too– But that wasn’t why I was here.

“I, uh… I think I’m too sick to eat or drink something right now.” I spoke through gritted teeth– And it wasn’t necessarily a lie. “Besides, I need to talk to both of you, please sit.”

They exchanged quick, confused looks, as Applejack scratched the back of her head, and took a seat. And of course, despite the huge couch, Rarity decided that AJ’s lap was the best seat in the house. And yes, this was an usual occurrence.

I fidgeted a bit, as I let my hair cover my eyes. It took me a bit to formulate my thoughts. “What’s the problem, darling?” Rarity tilted her head, concerned and analytically. It didn’t take a genius to realize that I was hurting.

Scratching the side of my face, I remained leaning forward. Well, this was it. “You’re both aware that I went to a gala in Equestria yesterday, right?”

Both nodding, but Rarity even more enthusiastically. “Oh you simply must tell us the details, darling! About the dresses, the decorations–”

Oh, I was about to. “--Okay, so; Princess Twilight got me there as her plus one. The thing is, she had been expressing anxieties about her imminent rule for a while– And yesterday, in that party, she, and Princess Celestia herself, they…”

I scratched my face, maybe trying to stall? I don’t know. My friends were listening intently, like I was about to say something fun. Some trivia, something just a bit interesting.

“Yesterday… Those two Princesses both asked me to come back to Equestria– So that I can be a pupil of Celestia again, and so that I can one day rule alongside Twilight. She told me that with me there, it’d be easier– She said that–”

I tried my best not to choke on my words, as my friend’s eyes widened. “Princess Celestia herself told me that Equestria needed me. They said I am uniquely qualified, and that they miss me there… And that she would love to have me back as her pupil…”

My face hung a bit lower. “And Twilight said that she needed me there, too, because... …She said that she loves me.”

Fuck, that was hard to say. It was even harder to sit there in that silence as both of my friends stared at me in surprise and shock.

Rarity was the first one to speak up, as she fidgeted with her impeccably done nails. “...Am I correct to assume that you said no?”

“I… Didn’t say yes.” That answer told them everything they needed to know. That answer explained everything about my mental state– And about what I was considering doing.

“Oh, darling…” Rarity covered her face, I don’t know if it was shame, or second hand embarrassment, or anything in between, but whatever it was, I deserved it.

And I didn’t say anything either, I just sat there, eyes closed, waiting for something to happen. Rarity spoke again, because Applejack was scratching herself too, narrowing her eyes in confusion, or pensively? I don’t know. “Sunset. You are aware just what you would be leaving– If you actually chose to leave?”

“Painfully.” Was all I could say.

I don’t think Rarity was angry, not yet, at least, but she certainly was getting there. “And why are you telling us this– Surely you’re not asking for permission?”

That got a reaction out of me, I did panic a little bit.“N-no! No. I’m planning on telling all of you, I need your opinion– Not permission, I’m not just– I’m not just running away, okay? I need to run this by everyone, I need to– I need to know what you think, so I can decide.”

She got a bit exasperated, and I don’t blame her– The mere idea that I was ‘deciding’ seemed pretty absurd. “You do realize that you would break Twilight’s heart, if you went through with this? Shatter it, more like it?!”

There it was– that feeling of shame that crept up on me– That was exactly what I needed to balance the scales. “Y-yeah. But you do know why I’m considering it, right?”

I hoped I wouldn’t need to explain that. I heard Applejack speak softly, as her brows furrowed. “...’Cause it’s your home.”

My hands shook a bit. Even if I might not need to explain, I still did. “It’s everything– Everything I have ever even dreamed of. Going back to Equestria not as an exiled visitor– But as an Alicorn in training– I’d get to see my family again, I’d get to be with Celestia again, and this time, do it right– This is literally, an opportunity, that I never, in my WILDEST dreams, would ever thought I’d get again!”

Crossing her arms, Rarity’s gaze pierced through me. That didn’t intimidate me, but her words did get me. “Are you in love with Princess Twilight?”

Gritting my teeth in desperation, I exhaled, and pleaded. “Can we please not unpack that right now?”

“It seems rather pertinent to merely gloss over, darling!!!” She waved her hands as if to wake me up.

We both stopped. With determination, AJ picked her girlfriend up and placed her on the seat next to her, and then stood up. With only one step, she was towering over me.

Honestly? This was a fair way to go. If Applejack crushed my head like a soda can now, It’d solve all my problems, just saying– It would remove the burden of decision making.

Unfortunately for me, she picked me up and hugged me tightly. This time, I reciprocated. “Partner…! No wonder yer hurtin’. This is a big moment, its– It everythin’.”

“Y-yeah.” Not gonna lie, I got a bit closer to crying there, in a friend’s warm embrace, but I haven't cried since the fall formal, it’s not something I do normally. She felt profound pity and concern for me– I didn't even need powers to know that.

I felt everything she felt– She was sad. Sad because she knew I might go. But also, somehow, she was almost happy for me…? All of that, wrapped in a concerned package.

She put me back down, and took her seat again, adjusting her hat with a look of pity. “Sunset, it’s just– I think I understand. It’s yer home. Yer family. It’s somethin’ ya wanted all yer life, and now…”

“Y-yeah.” I hung my head low.

With an understanding nod, it at least looked like AJ’s sentiment was calming Rarity down. “...Dear, you may be going a bit easy on her…”

Scratching her face nervously, Applejack looked at me with pity– Certainly deserved. “Look, it’s not like I want ya gone. But… Yer parents, they don’t even know yer alive, do they?”

I shook my head quietly. This made her lean back in her chair. “That’s… Ya can fix that, if you go, can't ya? Even with Celestia…?” 

I nodded quietly. “...Bridges I thought I had burnt.”

She fidgeted with her hat, but Rarity shook her head, commanding the conversation again. “I know this would be good for you, darling. But you realize the cost, don’t you? Twilight, our Twilight, her life has revolved entirely around you since the friendship games! You took her in, you gave her everything– The way she smiles now? All of it! It's because of you!! The consequences of you leaving her– for another version of her, no less– You MUST understand how dire they are.”

It was true. 

Immensely true.

I wanted to chock it up to “Twilight can find someone better!” But I’m not a stick of gum. She wasn’t going to spit me out and start chewing another; And above everything, I didn't even need to ask her what she wanted.

No matter what, Twilight wanted to be with me– She had made that clear for a long, long time. In fact, I was pretty sure she wanted to be with me for the rest of her life. And it was what I wanted too, for a really long time.

And I still wanted it too, but…

“Preaching to the Quoir, Rarity. It’s why I was considering acting business as usual– just… Saying no to the princess, and just… Going to… College.”

The way I said that betrayed me, it showed how agonizing trading my dream for a simple human education would be. And also, a career in nothing at all– I still had no idea what I wanted to do– And in fact, I wanted to find out even less, now that I had an Princess alternative. 

Fuck, I hate this feeling. 

Applejack said something that surprised the both of us; Both our eyes went wide, and we turned to her. 

“I think you should go.”

She said that, in full earnestness, and that stupefied me.

I never even considered that ONE of my friends would say that. 

Ah, shit.

“A-Applejack!?” Her girlfriend questioned, and she sure was right to be finding that weird– My jaw was open in the same confusion.

The Farmer raised her hands as if surrendering, and yet, explaining herself. “D-don’t get me wrong– I don’t want ya to go– Hell, we’d all miss the hell outta ya, and Twilight– She’d be inconsolable. But…”

But???!?!!

There’s a but?!?!?! 

HOW?!

“But ya said it yerself– This ain’t just yer dream. It ain’t just all ya ever wanted– It’s yer second chance at family. I don’t want to do a disservice to us, but… Ya need that. Even more than ya need us.”

I leaned back on the couch, stupefied. “...Are you fucking serious?” Was all that I could ask, completely, entirely confused. Rarity exhaled, pursing her lips, crossing her arms– It was a rare occasion, nowadays, where she and AJ didn’t agree on something– And I never thought this would be one one of them.

“Yeah. Again. We’d all miss ya, it’d hurt like hell, and I’m real scared of what this could do to Twilight… But if ya ask my vote… I vote that you go. But ya better visit.” She said that last part as if I had already made my decision– As if the stakes were light. Did I explain this well enough?! Did she just not follow me right?! 

Oh my god.

With a sigh, Rarity blew a strand of hair away from her face. “Well I vote no. You should stay. However big your dream is, it couldn't possibly justify hurting someone you love.” And then her gaze pierced through me again– But her words hurt more. “You do still love her, don’t you?”

“Yes!!!!” I said instantly, almost offended– But frankly, I shouldn’t have been. My actions definitely didn’t inspire a lot of confidence in the statement.

“Well then you better show it, before you shatter her heart.” She stated plainly, and yeah, I deserved that.

With a friendly and very frisky hand, Applejack reached out to her girlfriend, definitely a normal gesture to them, even in these circumstances. “Sugarcube, go a bit easy on her, will ya? She’s obviously hurtin’ about this more than anybody ever could.”

Rarity immediately climbed on her girl’s lap again, even if still pouting. “Ugh... Yes dear, you have a point, I understand what you mean… but my vote stands. And I am not wrong to presume that neither of us are giving permission for her to break Twilight’s heart, yes?” She raised an eyebrow and placed a finger on Applejack’s cheek, making her comply instantly.

“Of course!” A classic flustered nod from AJ, who I was surprised didn’t fold on her vote immediately. “What she said–” She turned her head to me. “Whatever ya decide, ya should absolutely make it as easy as possible for Twilight. I mean it partner– This is serious stuff.”

“Preaching to the Quoir, AJ…!!” Was all I could mutter, desperately, before I leaned forward and cupped my face with my hands– And of course, cursed. “Fuck. We’re tied. How the hell are we tied…?!”

I never, in a million years, expected any of them to say anything but no.

I came here so that they could convince me NOT to go through with this.

“When are you telling Twilight?” Rarity questioned, with a justifiably accusatory tone.

“I-I don’t know– But I am telling her. I promise. I think I want to decide first.” I had no fucking idea if that was a good or bad idea– Honestly, any consideration for that conversation made me shudder.

Exasperated, I fished my phone out of my pocket, immediately going to my dms, hastingly searching for Rainbow Dash.

I ignored the long strings of texts of our conversations about the Daring Do movies– I had this whole tangent of defending the second movie, that despite its many flaws, it had some incredibly compelling action scenes that clearly influenced the entire blockbuster industry in really interesting ways, and not just that, but a pretty engaging set of stakes, with Daring Do being pushed to her absolute limit–

No, no, don’t get distracted, FOCUS!

“Dash, are you with Fluttershy right now? Where are you?”

I fidgeted nervously, waiting for their response. As I did that, Rarity, always the clever one, could tell exactly what I was doing. “Looking for your second opinion, Sunset?”

“Fourth, actually. And hopefully fifth too.” I answered quickly. Whatever coldness she was giving me, I deserved in full.

The moment I saw the little dots of her response, I tensed up. “That’s a really weird way to start a convo, dude. You feeling ok?” Of course she’d reply relaxed like that.

And my tension stayed. “Are you with Fluttershy? I need to see the both of you.”

“Sure man! I’m practicing with Toby right now– Our picnic spot! Flutters is here with me, I’m not about to play ball with a bear without a translator⚽⚽⚽”

“Stay there. I’m on my way.” Yeah, I guess the way I was typing seemed pretty ominous, but can you blame me?!

I stood up– Not with determination, but sweating, actually– And the two on the couch in front of me watched me the whole way. I completely understood why Rarity would be pissed at me for this– She really, really cared about me and Twilight, and our happiness together; Having helped me and her process our feelings a long time ago.

I started making my way to the door, shamelessly muttering “I’m gonna go see Dash and Fluttershy.” Trying almost to be casual. Of course, they weren’t going to let me go that easily.

They both stood, and Rarity commanded me to stop, which I hesitantly obeyed. But surprisingly, she pulled me into a hug, which Applejack added to, embracing us both.

“Just in case this may really be one of the last times we are together, darling.” She muttered, and I could feel what she felt… She wasn’t angry. She was just sad.

Now this was an efficient way to balance my bias. Not only was I feeling guilty as hell already, but their sadness was rubbing off on me– Making me want to stay even more.

But duty called, and I still had a couple of friends to visit. “Thanks for everything… I mean it.” I said to the both of them– Which felt weird, I sure as hell wasn’t saying goodbye now. But it needed to be said.

I hated to have to go out of there in a hurry.

But that sadness made me smile.





Meeting with Fluttershy and Rainbow in between their dates and hangouts is always a bit strange– Like I mentioned earlier, they’re not open about their relationship with anybody except their close friends, meaning us.

So whenever they were together, it’d be sometimes these absurdly hidden or unexpected places, like the top of a building, tuckered away at a bridge in a park, in a hidden corner of CHS few students ever thread, or even, like today, in the middle of the goddamn woods– I would not be surprised at all, if their dates took them to smack dab in the middle of the Everfree forest at some point. …Which honestly is probably pretty damn romantic, especially for Fluttershy. Damn Dash, you got game.

I don’t fault them for sneaking around, it does have a certain spark to it– Me and Twi definitely kept it on the down low when we first started, before she introduced me to her family, and she had this giddy excitement for sneaking around that only a sheltered nerd would have– The first time I showed her how shoplifting was, she nearly had a heart attack, but was incredibly attracted to my rogueness, which was frankly adorable.

Lucky for me, there was a specific spot in the woods I already knew, that we had all taken a couple of picnics on, that Fluttershy often visited, and with Rainbow too, no big surprise. I had lucked out on not barging in on Rarity and Applejack making out furiously, so I hoped I’d have the same luck with these two.

I had to park my bike outside of the forest, and just let it take me, really. This time, I forced myself to not check my messages– No doubt full of Twilight cuteness, and maybe even Pinkie wondering why the hell I hadn’t told her how the party went yet.-- I tried, really damn hard, to enjoy the quiet of nature.

The sun was a bit lower in the sky, but I still had plenty of daylight to burn. I stepped into that forest without fear, I had plenty of other reasons to feel stress, and I knew that nothing here could hurt me.

It wasn’t the same as Equestria, but it did have a certain respite to it. When you’re surrounded by concrete and bricks so much, the absence of all of that feels like a gift. 

The path was narrow, and I followed it easily, ignoring my stomach complaining at me that I still hadn’t properly eaten anything today, and frankly, it was an act of protest for me to deny it sustenance.

I stopped, leaning on a tree, and let myself listen to the sounds around me. Birds, insects, the very distant echoes of the city… And there, the sound I was looking for, the sound of a certain someone kicking a ball. I was on the right track.

Stepping out of the path, It wasn’t long before I was at a pretty lovely and familiar glade; and could already see Rainbow, doing tricks with a football, and Fluttershy, giddily watching from a park bench– One me and Rainbow had moved there, not exactly legally, many months before.

A Squirrel whispered at Fluttershy, and she turned to greet me with a smile and a wave, no doubt her animal friends had warned them of my arrival.

I have to admit, on another bisexual sidebar, that both of them looked pretty good nowadays. Fluttershy has this accidental beauty– Contrasting Rarity’s purposeful beauty, that is quite endearing. Soft spoken, almost taller than me, and comically skinny, it feels like any one of us could carry her bridal style easily, or even that a stiff breeze could topple her over– In the past, she always looked so damn fragile– But nowadays, she looked like she could withstand a lot more, and it even added to her beauty, to be honest. It was no wonder animals were often flocking to her– She felt and looked magical.

Rainbow, however, was certainly an interesting case. I have to admit to having no attraction to her whatsoever, but I also completely understand what Flutters saw in her. She had a certain cocky confidence that was surprisingly admirable– I hardly ever saw her falter. Not to mention the athletic build; Which was self explanatory, but comically enough, she couldn’t beat either me or AJ in arm wrestling, and she even struggled against Pinkie, which is fucking hilarious. (Also she would be the shortest of us, if not for Pinkie and Twilight, heh.) I have to say something about the smell too– that girl smells like she’s in a 24/7 game of soccer– And I’m not surprised Fluttershy doesn’t mind it at all, since she’s surrounded by animals on a daily basis.

“Yo, Sunset!” Rainbow stated, in the middle of a sick ball trick where she balanced it on her forehead, without even looking at me. “What’s up, man! How was that big horse party you went to?”

Wow, nearly immediately the subject was addressed, and I had barely made my way inside the glade.

“It was something.” Quietly, I walked in, and studied my surroundings. There were Two sticks that made up a makeshift goal, and before them, stood Toby, Fluttershy’s bear friend. Rainbow often practiced with him, (always with Fluttershy’s supervision!) because he was a pretty effective goalie, and if she could score with him on defense, it was fantastic practice for human goalkeepers. Meanwhile, Fluttershy sat, surrounded by critters, and even butterflies, who all watched her girlfriend play peacefully. Including but not exclusive to a bunny, a turtle, a handful of birds, squirrels, and other furry beasts I couldn’t decipher, maybe even a hedgehog?

Honestly, I’d love to say I was surprised to see Rainbow playing football with a bear. But that’s just the kinda nonsense that happened with Fluttershy around, and I love it.

Rainbow took a crackshot, kicking in a way that made the ball swerve around the bear, and fly through the goal. “YES!” She proclaimed, throwing her fists in the air, and her girlfriend cheered and clapped as loudly as she could, which was incredibly quiet. I mustered a cheer, barely, before taking a seat near Fluttershy.

Merely seconds later, a fox showed up, pushing the ball forward, and Rainbow gladly picked it up. “Thanks, lil buddy!” The bear, however, groaned loudly, which Fluttershy was quick to note on. “Don’t be a sore loser, Toby!”

Then and only then did she turn to me, with that trademark peaceful smile of hers. “So what brings you here, Sunset? It’s nice to see you’re out and about getting fresh air, it’s good for when someone is sick…!”

Rainbow, somehow, paid attention, while continuing to practice with the bear. “Yeah man– You said something about needing to see us for something?”

Despite having done this just an hour ago with Applejack and Rarity, it wasn’t any easier now. “Yeah, I need uh… I need your opinions on a problem.” Understatement of the century. “It's… About the party, actually.”

Fluttershy leaned forward attentively, and the critters that surrounded her did too. Meanwhile, Rainbow stopped practicing, and started doing tricks, but I knew her well enough to know she was paying attention.

“Well, I uh,” once again I shriveled into myself, feeling that shame creep up. Good. ”So I was invited as Princess Twilight’s plus one. But I soon found out that it wasn’t just a friendly gesture. They wanted me there so they could personally invite me to stay in Equestria again.”

I took a brief pause, and with a side eye, I noticed Fluttershy flinch in surprise. “The thing is– Twilight is really scared about ruling alone. Me and her talked about it all the time, and I always tried comforting her, telling her she could absolutely do it. I guess she took a different lesson from it, because she asked me to rule alongside her.”

I tried my best avoiding eye contact until I was done. “And that’s not all. Celestia personally invited me to be her pupil again– They both expressed how happy they would be if I was back, and if I could try again… Try again at being a Princess. An Alicorn, even.”

Rainbow stopped doing tricks. The forest was really, really quiet. And I continued. “See, the thing is– They’re giving me a chance to go back to Equestria and try again. They said I’m uniquely qualified, having been Celestia’s first pupil, but…” I took a deep breath. “...That's not all. Princess Twilight said she loves me. It’s one of her reasons for suggesting this, even…”

There was the bombshell, the multiple bombshells, even. Fluttershy brought a hand to her lips, with a look of staggered, sad surprise, and pity, even. Rainbow Dash got awfully quiet, staring at the floor, swerving the ball beneath her feet.

I waited. I closed my eyes and waited, and surprisingly, Fluttershy was the first one to speak up, with sympathy, no less. “Oh my goodness, Sunset, I am so sorry… Saying no to that must have hurt you so much…!”

My eyes widened, it was hard to formulate a response to that, especially considering the unwavering faith that Fluttershy was putting on me. Lucky for me, I didn’t have to. Without moving, Rainbow spoke. “Flutters. She didn’t say no.”

Her gaze fell on her girlfriend, then fell on me– And despite her assumptions, she could now see on my face what was happening. “I… Didn’t say yes. I’m here to have your opinions on this before I decide.”

Fluttershy fell awfully quiet, as her eyes narrowed, looking at the floor, and some critter friends comforted her. 

There was a bit of silence, before Rainbow, scratching the back of her own head, looked at me intently. “Dude… Are you in love with Princess Twi, or what?” 

I exhaled, and gave a quick and predictable response. “Can we please not unpack that right now…”

Blowing raspberries, she groaned. “Dude… Look, I… I don't want to say something stupid here, so let me just… think of what I want to say, okay…?” That showed uncharacteristic restraint of her, but I appreciated that she seemed to take this situation with the necessary weight. She looked at her girlfriend, before resuming ball tricks, this time with a pensive frown– I’m not used to seeing Rainbow think this hard, it’s actually kind of nuts. “Hey babe… you wanna take this one? What are your thoughts?” She said, doing a quiet dribble.

I looked at Fluttershy expectantly, and with no surprise, she was near tears, gripping her cute dress while pursing her lips. I waited, as long as it was necessary for her to speak.

“H-how…” She started, before shaking her head. “H-how could you even consider doing this…?”

And there it was. That shame, incredibly well directed at me. I sat and listened.

“How could you even consider doing this to us… To Twilight…?” She continued, her voice cracking.

My face was blank, I just waited for her to finish, I needed to hear all of it– I needed to feel that shame. I even considered offering her my hand, so I could truly feel just how disappointed she was in me.

“Sunset, y-you– Isn’t this your home…? Aren't you happy with us…?” It was a genuine question, one worth asking; And a heavy one, coming from her.

“Yeah. I’ve been happier than ever, but… I hate to say this, but… It almost feels like complacency, now that I've been offered this.” That was incredibly, insanely selfish of me to say. It was twisted, even. It also wasn’t a lie.

“H-how could you say that!! After everything…!!” Her voice rose a little, but still not much. She shook her head intently, and her animal friends were quick to comfort her.

I fidgeted, feeling what she felt, even from a distance, my face twisting into a grimace– It almost felt good, to feel that shame. The scales balanced even more. “Look– I’m so, so fucking sorry to be even considering this. I am…” I wanted to say ‘but’, but it didn’t come out of me, which might have been a good thing.

One of her animal friends, a bunny, hopped to me and started trying to attack me and maybe bite me? Honestly it was more amusing than threatening– Clearly he was mad that I was upsetting Fluttershy– I just kind of watched this little guy viciously attack my jeans, trying not to laugh at him.

“L-let her go, Angel.” She said, still suppressing tears. The little bunny blew raspberries at me, before joining her. “Y-you shouldn’t do this, Sunset. It’s not right. After everything we’ve all done together… Especially Twilight, my goodness, she… She would be heartbroken…!”

She was right. How could this world, these friendships, not be enough for me, after everything?

It was selfish, it was awful, it was despicable that I was even considering it.

All I could do was nod quietly, pensively, processing it.

“I think I know what I want to say now.” Rainbow spoke, crossing her arms, with a foot still on the ball.

There was a few seconds before she actually spoke, where she fidgeted a bit– But for all intents and purposes, this was the most pensive I had ever seen Rainbow Dash. We both waited for her to continue.

“Sometimes…” She stood incredibly still, looking at the floor, then our eyes met. “...Sometimes… If you want to be happy… You have to be selfish.”

Both of our eyes widened, mine specially.

Shit.

She tapped her arm with her finger, thinking, and continued. “You said it yourself. Not just that, but we all know it. This is everything you ever wanted. You stayed with us because that was the best possible thing that could have happened, after all the messes and blunders you did–” She quickly raised a hand as if to apologize. “But the thing is? You changed. You deserve this. And after how crappy your life had been up until this point, too…!”

She turned, and started doing ball tricks again, but kept the same tone. “So I can’t blame you. I can’t blame you for considering us a pit stop– I can’t blame you for wanting to ditch this world at all, really…!”

Shaking her head vividly, Fluttershy gasped. “D-dashie!! How could you think that…?!”

“Because sometimes, if you want to be happy, you have to be selfish.” She spoke that, almost as if she had rehearsed it. And oh my god, I hated that it was actually getting through to me.

With a few quick kicks to her ball, she pointed at me. “Dude. You convinced your girl to ditch Everton University for a community college– Because you didn’t think you could have gotten into that University, right?”

Grimacing, I nodded slowly, and she continued. “And that decision led to all of us being in the same college together, even if Twilight has to settle for less. And we’re all happy, right? That came from you being selfish, am I wrong?”

I honestly didn’t know anymore, this was getting to my head, I was feeling a bit dizzy, and extremely torn.

Fluttershy, however, shook her head. “S-sweetie, this isn’t the same–”

But Rainbow quickly shook her head too, disagreeing. “Flutters, you and me have never told either of our families about us being together– Because you were scared of what they might say, especially your asshole brother. Not sharing the truth is selfish– Something you and me are both incredibly okay with, and we’re both happy, right? I’m bouncing off the walls with you, even if we have to be hiding!”

She didn’t respond, instead looked away, lost in thought. Clearly Rainbow’s words were affecting her, just like me.

“Selfishness,” Rainbow gestured with one hand; a gesture that led to her other hand. “Happiness.” She completed.

“...Fuck.” Was all I could say. Honestly, I would have rather shouted it.

Blowing raspberries, Rainbow fidgeted some more, looking at me. “Dude, it’s not like I want you to go– We all love you, y’know? This is fucking sad, and I’m just. Bummed as hell that it might happen. Especially Twilight, dang, I have no idea how she’ll react to this, But…” Of course there was a ‘but.’ Goddamnit. “...But what kind of friends would we be if we just stopped you from being happy…?”

I facepalmed, it was still selfish!! Incredibly selfish!! Damnit Rainbow, how DARE you rationalize this?!

“So if you wanna go… My vote is you go. But don’t tell Twilight. She’d kill me, heh.” She finished saying that with a light chuckle.

With a big exhale, Fluttershy looked at me. She had held back tears through this whole thing, it was incredibly admirable. “Sunset… Y-you can’t. You shouldn’t. You know it’s wrong…”

“...Yeah. I know.”

“I-if we’re just doing this by vote then… I vote for you to stay… It’s not worth it, Sunset… think about what this would do to Twilight…!” That was all I had been thinking for nearly a whole day now.

Not just Twilight– There’d be a hole in this group that was shaped like me.

I wanted to chock it up to me being easily replaceable– Or just easily ignorable– After all, Princess Twilight didn’t have a me in her crew.

…But she wanted me.

And my friends would lose me.

I really wanted to imagine my absence wouldn’t damage this group, and it probably wouldn't, but… it’d hurt them. Deeply.

I cupped my face in my hands and shouted. “FUCK, HOW ARE WE STILL TIED?!!?! HOW?!!” 

Served me fucking right for thinking my friends could make this decision for me.

With a quick chuckle, Rainbow pointed at me, somehow deducing correctly. “Wow, hah, AJ agreed with me? That’s a first!”

I groaned, gritting my teeth, and handed a quick apology to Fluttershy’s critter friends. 

Holy shit this felt like I was making negative progress.

And not just that. How low was I fucking willing to sink over this?

I’m supposed to be the new and improved Sunset Shimmer, but Fluttershy is absolutely right. What I’m considering here is immensely selfish. It’s heartless.

…And Rainbow managed to perfectly explain why I should go with it.

“That’s it.” I snarled, fishing out my phone, searching my contacts. “Time for the big guns.”

The phone rang for only two seconds, before Pinkie Pie picked up. “HIYA PARTY GIRL!! You gonna tell me about that gala or what?? Wanna meet up?!” She bombarded me with her classic Pinkie demeanor, and it involuntarily made me smile.

Before I knew it, she turned on her video camera with a smile as big as they come, holding it like a selfie– There were stickers on her cheek and forehead, a normal thing for Pinkie– Showing me a kid who giggled next to her, no doubt one of the ones she babysat; She was really damn good at that. “Say bye bye to sunsun!” She gleefully egged the kid on, who giggly attempted to repeat that, with questionable success, and they both waved.

With a quick glance, she was leaving her babysitting job, waving at the parents that had arrived, and somehow, incredibly skillfully, she managed to put on her coat and grab her backpack all with one hand and bolt out of the door, all while holding her phone and smiling at me. “C’monnnnn Sunsun, spill the beans! I wanna know everything!!”

“You will.” I assured her, somehow smiling– Pinkie had that effect on me– “Want to meet up? Usual spot?”

She nodded emphatically, with a grin ear to ear. “YEAHYEAH! Ohhh I can't wait!! This is gonna be so much fun!!”

I shook my head, suppressing a chuckle. “Actually, this won't be fun at all, Pink.” 

“THEN WHY THE FUCK AM I EVEN GOING?!” She spoke, joking with fake outrage, which got immediate laughter out of me. I shook my head, and answered quickly. “Look, I’ve gotta get going, I’m pretty far, I’ll see you there, okay?”

Demeanor immediately changing to the usual peppy, she gave me that trademark Pinkie smile. “Okidokey on a chockey, Sunsun!” Which prompted me to shut off the call.

Quiet fell on the forest once more, and with it, I exhaled, not even Pinkie could lift my spirits today. I turned to my two friends, and found them both hugging– Rainbow was comforting Fluttershy, speaking to her softly and caressing her hair.

“I… I have to go.” I spoke plainly, putting my phone away.

“Sunset.” Rainbow stopped me, looking me eye to eye. “If it helps, I think you might want to see this decision as…” She fidgeted a bit, considering her words. “...Which Twilight do you want to hurt the least…?”

Oh that doesn’t help at all, thanks a lot, Rainbow Dash. Thanks a million, bud.

“G-good luck. I hope you stay…” Was all Fluttershy could mutter before her girl hugged her again, much to her comfort.

With an exhale, I forced myself to turn and leave.

That pain of separation, I needed it.





Pinkie was my best friend in this group after Twilight– She had been, for a really long time.

The thing is… I never would have expected that, either. Back when I was the #1 bitch of CHS, Pinkie was one of the humans that annoyed me the most here. Hyperactive, imposing, always peppy, it was just utterly frustrating to be around. But the thing is, when you’re at your lowest, and a peppy, cute, friendly girl actually greets you with a genuine smile…?

Yeah. Pinkie was the first one to really forgive me, and to give me a chance at that school, and it wasn’t just a ploy. She got me closer with the whole group, and we had a lot of fun together. A very unlikely duo, but I suppose our group was full of those.

I hoped that she would be exactly what I needed before having to inevitably talk to Twilight about this. After all– Above else, Pinkie liked having me around. Maybe the potential of breaking that dork’s heart would be a good convincer for me, and what's more, a tie breaker.

But as I walked to our favorite spot, a shiver went up my spine.

If both Applejack and Rainbow could have chosen what I didn’t expect…

No.

Me and Pinkie’s favorite spot is this little fair that always took place above a boardwalk at the beach– We’re still close to the city, so it’s easy to get to, plus we can either get no sand at all on us, coming from the sidewalks, or visit during a beach day! There’s always all sorts of games and fun snacks– In fact, this was where less than a week ago, I won that bizarre Manticore plushie for my girlfriend.

The fair was over, everyone was packing up– The boardwalk was near empty now. Fine by me. 

And the sun was covered in clouds– But the light broke through, in the ocean, I could see those rays bathing the coast, and reaching far into the horizon, even if I was covered in shadow. 

As I walked by that boardwalk, I just distracted myself by watching seagulls, observing the dimming number of people still at the beach on a saturday, all the vendors packing up and leaving, and, in the distance, ships traveling across the water.

For a brief moment, my mind went back to that disastrous spring break, long ago. That brief moment where two Twilights– The most important people in my life– met.

I exhaled.

There really wasn’t any way to finish this without hurting one of them.

Sometimes I missed Equestrian magic problems. It’s so much easier when you can face something head on, punch it or just blast it with friendship magic.

But what was I going to do, blast myself? There was nothing to break, nothing to fight.

It was just me.

My eyes widened a little, and hearing was just fine; My senses were ready. In a mere split second, I turned my body, opened my arms, and took in the full force of a Pinkie Pie hug.

Yeah that’s right. I’ve trained for many reasons, but a skill that I have learned to master, above many, is Pinkie detection. I can practically smell that girl trying to sneak up on me.

“Hey, Pink!” I tried saying, with a mouthful of her hair in my face.

“HI SUNSUN! I missed you!! I got us ice cream, here you go!!” She said, with the widest smile, handing me a multicolored popsicle, one my stomach immediately begged me to digest. And begrudgingly, I accepted, because I knew it’d make Pinkie sad if I didn’t.

We walked together on that boardwalk, and I ate that ice cream a bit too desperately. I didn’t even process the taste, I just let it fuel me.

For a moment, it was almost like any of our hangouts. I could have easily pretended it was one, too.

But no. 

“Follow me!” I started leading the way to the end of the boardwalk, and she followed, despite wanting to be distracted by our surroundings. One thing I’ve learned about Pinkie, especially after being stuck in a time loop with her, is that she’s like a puppy– If you want her to follow, you have to lead.

As I took a much needed bite of that ice cream, she intertwined one of her arms with mine, and happily gushed about her day, and I just listened– Well, fairly, I was a bit distracted.

Allow me to indulge myself on one final Bisexual sidebar. Pinkie Pie is incredibly soft; And yet, incredibly agile. She’s the best hugger you’ll ever meet, and she is more than aware of that fact, and quite willing to prove you wrong if you attempt to challenge her on it. Not only can she pull off a surprising amount of looks by sheer confidence alone, I dare say her cuteness uplifts them. And most important of all: Her tummy is really, really kissable. I have contained myself an insurmountable amount of times on doing so– But I have no doubt she’d let me, we’re just close friends like that.

One thing that’s really important about her: Remember when I mentioned that touching Twilight is like being near a fireplace, considering the way she feels when she’s near me?

Touching Pinkie, to me, is akin to touching a massage chair. That’s the best I can explain on how her emotions are always bursting to the surface, and they’re all usually joy-adjacent.

We made it to the end of the boardwalk, far from the beach, far from the city, and most importantly at this hour; Private. The sound of waves crashing softly nearby was the main thing we heard, outside of the occasional laughter of the beach, or the sounds of traffic in the city.

I took a seat on one of the benches there, still devouring my ice cream, and she sat right next to me, delighting herself in the same way.

“And then I told the guy; ‘hey buddy, I don’t work here– But I’m pretty sure that’s a soap dispenser!!”

I suppressed a chuckle so as to not choke on what I was eating. “Did he keep slapping it?!”

Giggling, she waved her arms around. “YEAH!! HE BROKE IT! Soap just went flying everywhere! A couple of people slipped on it, I had to grab a mop and help out–”

I shook my head, still smiling. The moment I finished that ice cream, it was go time. “---And you didn’t even work there– Wow Pink, you’re too good. I woulda bolted.”

She dramatically flipped her hair around, almost in an impression of Rarity. “I am simply too caring for my own good!!”

I nodded, consuming the last bite of that ice cream, time was up, and I needed to spill the beans.

“Pink.” I said, finishing licking the ice cream stick, and motioning for her to stop. “I want to tell you about the party.”

Naturally, she didn’t calm down, she brought her fists closer, with a toothy smile, and nodded emphatically, looking at me intently. “Oh my gosh it must have been so good!!! Tell me everything!!”

Nodding, I kept holding the now dry Popsicle stick in my hand. Pinkie had already devoured her ice cream, so she had no distraction, Scratching the back of my head, I tried placing my thoughts in the correct order, tried once again organizing what I’d say. 

Here goes nothing. For all the marbles. “The party was fine. Honestly at this point I barely remember any of it. Celestia invited me there personally to go with Princess Twilight as her plus one.”

Of course, she went “Ohhhh” doing funny pensive faces. I stayed on track.

“But there was a reason for them inviting me. Celestia wanted to see me personally, to be able to tell me… Princess Twilight had been really anxious about her upcoming solo rule in Equestria, and because of it, she was looking to find someone else to rule alongside her.”

Pinkie’s eyes widened, and for once, she wasn’t smiling. She looked at the floor, and muttered words I wasn’t expecting. “She wants you… Doesn’t she?”

I was surprised; Not that much, but still surprised. Pinkie was the first one that pieced it together before I explained it. “...Yeah. She said I’m uniquely qualified, not only because I was the first pupil of Celestia, not only because of how much I grew since, but because–”

“--Because she loves you...” My pink friend let out a sad smile, looking back at me, and this time I was surprised. Who was the mind reader here?

That look of shock stayed in my face, I wanted to ask “How’d you guess?” but…

Pinkie started fidgeting with her fingers while pensively looking at the boardwalk, letting out a sigh. “It just makes a lot of sense, you know? You already love a Twilight, and you were talking to the Princess nearly everyday, and not just that, much like us, she got to see you change so much in real time… Of course she’d fall for you. I’m not surprised at all, you’re the cool punk chick of friendship! A-and gosh, going through so much responsibility alone…!”

I felt a lump on my throat and nodded. “Yeah, she… She said it was perfect. Like destiny. And I can’t help but agree– The successful pupil redeeming and uplifting the failed pupil, and then…”

“...Two Princesses?” Pinkie tilted her head, completing my thoughts.

All I could do was nod silently. She kept fidgeting, with a tensed up jaw, and I could tell her brain was working overdrive. It took a little bit before she spoke. 

“...You’re in love with both Twilights… aren't you…?”

“...Well of course I am.” I confessed implicitly, clutching that dry popsicle stick while I explained. “I already loved a Twilight completely. I’ve never been happier than with my girl, it’s just so perfect, you know…? It’s only natural that I’d love the other– And that's not all, she… The Princess saved me. She changed me– She changed everything about my life. I’m only here now because of her. I only got to fall in love with my Twilight… Because of her. I always thought about somehow repaying her… It felt impossible. But it isn’t. This would be everything. Going with her… It would be everything to me. Just… Me and her, eternal.”

Confession is meant to relieve a burden, but it sure as hell didn’t. I hated that I felt this way so definitively. “And now, well… If I leave this world, not only do I hurt you girls, but… Twilight, she… I haven’t told her yet. But it’s a pretty easy guess that she would be devastated…” I feared, with every fiber of my being, hurting her.

She quietly nodded, still fidgeting a bunch, I could tell that she was torn about it, but clearly trying to maintain her Pinkie composure. Her voice failed a little. “So… What are you going to do?” There was a bit of… Hope in her voice? Or maybe trust? I don’t know.

“I don’t fucking know!” I chuckled nervously, covering my face with one hand. “I’ve been trying my best to think this over for the entire day– I visited the other girls too– Both Rarity and Fluttershy think I should stay, while AJ and Rainbow think I should go. I’m fucked! I have no idea what the hell I should do!!”

“O-oh gosh, I’m the tiebreaker?!” Pinkie got clearly a bit more stressed, fidgeting with her own hair.

“Yeah!! But honestly I don’t think this voting thing was a good idea at ALL. I just wanted to not have to make this decision myself– I’m clearly unfit for it, I’m a MESS– but if not me, what the fuck, right?!” I waved my hands nervously, completely unsure.

She got really quiet, turned to the floor, and I just continued. “And god, right before college, too; All of you were so excited, I was so excited, but now all I can think of is how I’d be leaving this incredible opportunity pass me by, I’m so FUCKED! AGH!”

Slumping forward, I felt all those frustrations from the past day in every corner of my body.

And I just waited for Pinkie to say anything. 

I just wanted her to convince me to stay.

“Sunset… What do you want…?” 

That question was heavy. It hurt. I remained slumped forward, shaking my head. “I don’t want to hurt Twilight. I couldn’t, she– She doesn’t deserve it. She deserves so much better than this.” Even the vaguest imagery popping in my mind of my girlfriend crying was grounds to send me into hysterics, berzerk, even. More than once, before and during our relationship, if anything threatened to upset her, I dealt with it immediately, with extreme prejudice. But considering that I would hurt her like this? I was devastated.

Shaking her head, her voice felt a little stuttery– I couldn’t remember if I had ever heard Pinkie like this. She was probably suppressing tears.

“That’s what you don’t want. Sunset, what do you want? Really?”

With a defeated sigh, I leaned back on the bench, grimacing, nearly cracking that popsicle stick with my grip. I waved my hands with every word.

“I… I want… I want to be a princess so bad…! I want to have wings! I want to have magic again, real Equestrian magic, I want to live a thousand years with the Princess of Friendship, and I want to do it right– I want to have Celestia in my life again, I want to have my parents in my life again!!” Saying all that felt like vomiting, or like bursting a hole in the wall of a dam.

I didn’t even know how much I wanted all of those things until I said them.

“But– But I don’t want to hurt Twilight. Either of them.” I shook my head, gritting my teeth.

Pinkie spoke softly, almost like she was tiptoeing around the words– And it garnered my attention immediately. “...And I want you to be happy.”

My eyes widened, almost with anger, as I looked at her directly. “No. don’t say it.”

“Sunset… I think maybe–” She fidgeted, looking away.

“Don’t say it!” I got closer, begging her not to go there.

But she did. “I think maybe you should go!”

“H-how– Why– How could you say that?!?! WHY?!!” It was almost like she wanted me gone– Pinkie, of all people, I was justifiably upset.

“I--I WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY, OKAY?!!” She shouted that almost apologetically– And I couldn’t blame her, Pinkie wanted all of her friends to be happy, above everything. Even me. 
Especially me.

I did speak a bit too loudly, confrontationally, as I waved my hands at the city. “I would be happy here!!!”

“--But you’d be happier there, wouldn’t you…?” She spoke that softly, and it hit me like a ton of bricks.

I leaned back on the chair, pointing my head at the sky in defeat, and god, did I feel awful. I felt awful because she was right. “I… I don't know.” I lied.

“Yes you do.” She saw through it, of course.

“I… I haven't decided yet.” I lied again.

“Yes you have.” She saw through it, easily, again.

I let out a groan, as I sat back up, immensely frustrated. She shook her head, her eyes were tearing up, but she leaned on me and touched my arm.

And she did it on purpose, so I could feel how she felt. She felt incredibly sad to see me go– She was so, so frustrated that this had to happen. 

…But she accepted it.

“L-look, it’s not like I want my best friend to go away– To leave me and my other friends. That’s the last thing I want!!” She was apologetic, shaking a little bit. But there was a ‘but’ incoming, I could tell.

“B-but I want you to be happy!! You deserve to be happy!!” She finished.

Goddamnit.

No I fucking don’t.

“S-so if my bestie wants to go back home and be a Princess, t-that's what she should do. A-and she is going to be G-GREAT at it!!” Her words failed her, and she pulled me into a hug.

Embracing her felt incredibly strange. How the hell was she endorsing this? How could she? This was awful. I was awful. What I was considering doing was awful.

And she was okay with it.

God fucking damnit. 

That Ice cream turned on my stomach.

“No.” I said, pushing her away gently, but keeping the closeness. “This isn’t right.” I completed.

I fished out my phone, stammering a little bit. “I-I… I need a couple more opinions, I think–” The words were failing me, and Pinkie just regarded me with pity– Pinkie Pie, of all people was looking at me with PITY. How the hell did this happen?

“I should ask what Flash thinks about this– Maybe call Vignette Valencia too– Oh and Trixie! Trixie would definitely want to give her two scents on this. Maybe I should even call Maud!! She always has unbiased takes–”

“--Sunset. The longer you stall, the worse it’ll be.” Pinkie said that, with a definitive tone, and I stopped.

Painfully, excruciatingly painfully, she was right.

I let out a frail exhale…

…And called Twilight.

“H-hey, Twi… Can we meet up? I want to talk.”

> Sunset, can you face the music?
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

I don’t have a choice. 

I had to do something, say something. Clearly this wasn’t going away, and I was painfully aware of what I wanted by now.

And yet, despite even Pinkie being able to tell that I had made a decision…

…I hadn’t. Not really.

I knew the second that my girlfriend stood in front of me, that it was going to get a lot harder to admit that I had.

I gripped the railing on that boardwalk. I couldn’t sit anymore, I had to stand up. Sometimes I would pace around, sometimes I would just look at the ocean.

I was alone now, Pinkie had left by my request. No matter how good of a company she made, I couldn’t just… I couldn’t. A distraction here wouldn't help.

I had to face the music.

Twilight was coming. She was coming to meet me here. And then we would talk.

Despite having ample time to think, I couldn’t pick any proper words to actually say. Nothing made sense. Nothing sounded right. Nothing felt right.

My stomach turned with multiple realizations.

The realization that I didn’t want to dump my girlfriend; The mere suggestion of that sounded ridiculous– like this was just a stupid high school drama, and not a problem that stemmed from two worlds in my life colliding. I didn’t want to end our relationship or say goodbye. And yet…

The realization that if I wanted to get what I want, I would have to hurt her. But if I let go of what I wanted, I would be unhappy. Would that hurt her too? Wouldn’t just her be enough for my happiness? It had been, all this time…

…And the realization… No. The memory of an idea. That I had once fantasized about proposing to her in this exact spot.

To be fair, I had fantasized about doing that in a lot of spots. I wasn’t planning on doing it anytime soon, maybe way after college, but none of that helped.

I turned my head, and saw her waving at me as she approached. My stomach turned even more. I turned back to the ocean and let out one loud curse while she was still out of earshot.

The sky was pretty beautiful. Plenty of clouds weren’t enough to hide my namesake– The sun was setting and it was almost possible to see a couple stars. The wind was blowing gently enough to make your hair float, but not be a bother– And it kept you refreshed. The sound of waves was comfortable, and there were very few people at the beach nearby.

It was romantic. Which made me feel even worse for what might happen in the next moments.

“Hi Sunsun!” She said adorably as she approached at a leisurely pace, wearing one of her cute hoodies, and even carrying a backpack; No doubt prepared to sleep over at my place, if she needed to. She was smiling at me like I deserved to be smiled at. I was sweating.

“Hey Twi. Was the commute okay?” I asked. Really? Small talk? Off to a terrible start.

“It was fine! I got lucky and caught a quiet bus– Not like that one that shakes more than a laundry machine.” She let out a giddy laugh, reminiscing on bus rides we had taken together, she was adorable, and she was happy. 

She was so happy.

Was I really about to destroy that? 

I didn’t even offer it, but she still walked forward and hugged me, as soon as she reached me.

“Gee, you’re sweaty, hihi!” She spoke with a delighted demeanor, not yet letting go of the hug. From experience of both Twilights, I could tell that neither minded that.

“Uh, yeah. Feeling a bit, uhh…” There was no point in any small talk. Why was I even talking at all?

She nodded with understanding, letting go of the hug but still touching my chest and jacket. “I saw that you said you were under the weather, at least it’s nice to see you getting fresh air! It’s been proven to help with nausea!”

“Um, yeah.” Was that all I could fucking say? I felt pathetic. I wanted to rip the bandaid off, and yet, I wanted to not even touch it.

Speaking of touch– That was the worst part. She was touching me. I could feel her affection and her joy emanating from her skin like it always had with me. It was addicting, and yet, only made me feel worse. Because I was about to break it.

“So what did you want to talk about? It must be pretty important if you choose such a romantic backdrop!” Once again, she let out another giddy laugh, letting go of me but still holding my hand; And with her spare hand, she leaned on the railing. 

I was about to open my mouth, but she raised a finger, like a lightbulb lit up in her head. “Oh! Let me guess! It’s about all of us celebrating our college admissions? You thought of a really cool location for all of us to ‘parties hardies’, as Pinkie likes to say?” She couldn’t be more wrong. I had nearly forgotten about college altogether, by now.

And that only made it worse. I could tell too– She was getting worried, just by looking at my face. She opened her mouth, as if to guess more, but I stopped her.

“Twilight. It’s about the gala.” I said plainly, trying to let go of her hand, which was hard to do. I was so used to holding it.

“Ohhh the horse party!” She leaned casually on the railing, but that casualness faded quickly, as she saw my expression, my whole demeanor, really. “G-gosh, was it that bad?? What happened?”

There it was. The question. One I had to answer truthfully and in detail.

It felt difficult to do considering how much my heart pounded.

“I, well…” I couldn’t look her in the eye, like a fucking coward. I leaned on the railing and looked at the ocean instead. Her gaze followed mine. “Princess Twilight invited me there because she wanted me to talk to Celestia personally. It was a wonderful party, but they had ulterior motives.”

Her eyes widened and she gasped in surprise. “G-gosh were they mad at you for something?? What–”

Maybe my grip on the railing was what made her stop, maybe it was the shake of my head. But I forced the words out of me. “Remember when I mentioned that Twilight was really stressed about ruling alone? How she was dealing with the mortality of her friends, stuff like that?” Stuff like that. Stuff like that. Stuff like that. It was so hard to formulate coherent sentences.

I took a brief pause to scratch my cheek. “She’s really afraid to do it alone. Terrified, really. And I don’t blame her. It’s a huge responsibility, and it’s even worse if she does it alone.” I was meandering. I was stalling. Twilight nodded, following along. “Yeah, I wouldn’t wanna be her. It sounds like a terrible spot to be in…”

I nearly chuckled nervously at that statement, but held it in. Twilight, once again, saying she wouldn’t want to be Twilight. Oh boy, the irony of what my decision entailed was not lost on me. 

It was time to drop the bomb. I couldn’t stall any longer. “Y-yean, and the thing is– The reason they invited me to that party… Was because they wanted to personally ask me to go back to Equestria definitively, to stay there and train to be an Alicorn and rule alongside Princess Twilight. She wants me to– She asked me to. They both said I’m uniquely qualified for the position, Celestia said that… She said that she misses me there. That she believes I could do it. And Twilight believes, too. Even more.”

Silence. 

A silence I expected, but didn’t like hearing.

With a side eye, I could see Twilight was looking right at me, eyes incredibly widened, a fist clenched in front of her chest. 

“T-they…!” I don’t blame her for not being able to finish her sentence.

“A-and you, you said no, right?” It was a desperate, pleading question. One I had to crush.

“...I didn’t say yes.” Was all I could mutter, before turning to her– I owed her at least looking her in the eye while saying this. And it was hard.

She was smart enough to understand all that Implied. She was smart enough to understand all that I meant now. She was smart enough to understand that she was losing me.

And I could see it in her face, all of those dominos falling one by one.

Desperately, I could see her trying to hold on to her composure. “O-okay. Okay. so you haven’t decided, right? Good. Okay.” I couldn’t answer that. I just stood there like a fucking idiot, watching the girl I love suffer.

She cleared her throat, trying to be professional, adjusting her glasses, but I could hear it in her voice, how unstable she was internally– The little cracks, the wavering of her tone. “U-um, okay so, let’s think about this objectively! Let’s weigh the pros and cons–”

“--Already did.” I stated plainly, removing the list from a pocket on my jacket and handing it to her.

She opened the list up and was met with a half portrait of her I never finished. That smile seemed pretty far off from the grimace she was giving it now.

“Shit, sorry, that’s– I didn’t get to finish it. The list is on the back.” Idiot that I am, I had forgotten I had even started drawing that.

Stuttering, she nodded quietly, before turning the page. “It… It looks g-good.”

I watched for agonizing seconds while she read the list. While she studied every single entry on it– Her frown was one thing, her eyes watering were another– But her breathing. I was worried about her breathing.

I could tell she wanted to judge and scrutinize. And I could tell that she was overthinking every word.

She was too intelligent not to realize that what she was holding was not a list of pros and cons, but a list of all my hopes and dreams, and what I would be left with if I abandoned them.

I could feel my energy depleting, as I watched her agonize over every little thing, narrowing her eyes, forcing the tears not to come. “...Yeah. I know. ‘Fingers’ and ‘video games’ don't seem like much when you compare it to the ability to fly and magic.” I stated, leaning on the railing, scratching my scalp.

“T-this list, it feels…” She started, staring at it intently. “--Biased?” I completed.

“--Decisive...” She exhaled, observing it. The cogs in her head spun overdrive.

“L-look, let’s think about this–” She started, looking at me with pleading eyes. “You’re like– Super happy here, right? Think of all the girls! W-wouldn’t they all be incredibly sad to watch you go?!” 

I nodded, my face weary, my body weak, trying my best to remain the closest to… Professional? I don’t know. “Yeah. That’s why I visited all of them today and asked them.” Why did I say that so coldly?

“W-what?” She got a little bit closer, and I hate that even at a distance, I could feel even just a fraction of what she was feeling. It wasn’t good.

The wind around us picked up a bit.

“I visited all of them today, before I called you. Rarity and Flutters thought I should stay. AJ, Rainbow and Pinkie all thought I should go.” Couldn’t I at least muster some enthusiasm when speaking? No, that wouldn’t help. Nothing would help.

“O-oh, oh. Three to two…!” She muttered desperately. Then her eyes met mine, almost with determination. Almost. “W-well I vote for you to stay! Now it’s a tie!” There wasn’t much triumph in her voice, but she certainly wished there was.

Shaking my head, my grip on the railing tightened. “This isn’t about a vote, Twi– That’s not how this works…” And how did it work? I didn’t fucking know. I was making up everything as I went, which was the trademark Sunset Shimmer strategy, but it wasn’t exactly working.

“T-then how does t-this work?? Are you just–” She stopped, nearly choking a bit. “Y-you’re not here to ask my permission for you to leave me, r-right…?”

“N-no!! No. It’s not like that…! I… I don’t know.” Yeah I don’t fucking know. Why was I even talking?

She once told me she wouldn’t trade me for anything in the world– In any world. And I had said I felt the same way… But here I was. Doing exactly that. It was sickening.

She shook her head gently, as her breathing was unstable. I could tell that she was trying really really hard to hold back tears. Her grip on that list loosened, as she clearly couldn’t digest much more of it. “T-this is everything y-you’ve ever wanted isn't it? B-but you’d have to leave me to get it… Right?”

She caught on quick, even when having a panic attack. 

“...Yeah. That's why I didn’t say yes immediately.” No matter how much I wanted to.

But there was one more bomb I needed to drop, one more card to play in this highly uneven table.

One more thing that tipped the scales in the favor of leaving, no matter how upsetting it might be to her. “...There’s another thing… Princess Twilight is in love with me. That’s why she asked. She confessed to me at the party.”

And just like that, I was the worst piece of shit in two worlds. Not even just one.

Twilight’s expression resembled horror, but enlightenment. Just like how everything made sense to me before, it made sense to her now, and we felt pretty similar despair over that enlightenment.

Her grip on the page loosened just enough, and the wind took it away. “N-no, no!!” She yelped, and I simultaneously tried catching it, nearly throwing myself into the ocean. “SHIT!” Was all I could say, as the half finished portrait of my girlfriend slipped through my fingers and was carried by the wind… Before inevitably falling in the ocean.

Surely there was no way this could get any worse, I wondered, and I shouldn't have wondered, because obviously, there was.

I loved Twilight– I had loved her for years, and even now, I did. And yet, she started crying, because of me, here and now. 

She couldn’t hold it in anymore, and I didn't blame her.

“S-she–” Was all she could say, before trying to dry her own tears. “W-why did I ever think this was going to be forever– you weren’t born here, of COURSE it wouldn’t! Ugh…”

I had nothing to say, there were no words I could say that could help her– But mostly, it was because I’m a piece of shit.

I tried my best to remain composed, and yet, nothing that came out of my mouth was right. “L-look, I’m so, so fucking sorry. You can still go to Everton University, nothing stops you–”

She shook her head quickly. “I was only ever wanting to go there because it was with you! I-I I would never have wanted to, after all this time, a-alone, I…!” She gasped for air, inhaling weakly, and once again, I felt like a horrible piece of shit, and I deserved to.

“Look… I could always… Visit…?” Why did I even say that? As if that would ever be enough. She just shook her head, and I knew exactly what it meant, it meant that it wouldn’t be enough. It’d be treating her like the second option.

“I’m so sorry, I wanted to… I don’t know, I…” Yeah, I don’t know. That’s all that could pass through my head. I don’t fucking know.

Shaking her head more, she stared at the ocean in desperation. “You’re the best thing that ever happened to m-me, I’m n-never going to do better than you– And she has you, I don't, Goddamnit, I’m never–”

That sentiment hurt. I sure as hell didn’t consider myself to be that much of a catch– But any way you spin it, I was everything to her. And here I was trying to discredit that. Here I was trying to leave her. “Twi, c’mon, that’s not fair on you–”

“I’m a nerdy loser that had no friends before all this– before you! And y-you’re a magical punk hot girl from another dimension with a six-pack!! I’m never doing better than you!!” She nearly yelled that in a panic, she wasn’t trying to guilt me, just state her thoughts– Though it didn’t matter much. I had plenty of guilt to go around. 

What did I expect? That she could find someone out there that could treat her better than I did? What, was she going to just go date boring normal guys or whatever? Go back to Timber or something?

It didn’t matter how little I could credit myself. I treated her like a Princess for years. That was a fact.

It didn’t matter what I thought of myself. I was everything that she could have ever wanted. And I wanted to leave.

I was despicable.

“D-did y-you–” She choked, before continuing, clutching her chest. Tears were streaming down her cheeks, and her breathing got progressively more uneasy. “Did y-you… Only ever fall for me b-because I looked and sounded like her…??”

“NO! No! Twi, no! I fell for you first!!” That wasn’t a lie– not necessarily. But my bond with the Princess was what made me attached to this Twilight.

And worst of all. If I fell for either of them, I'd know that this Twilight was more likely to accept me– And the implications of that thought only make me out to be an even worse piece of shit.

Was I just staying with the human because of complacency? Because I thought a Princess would never fall for me the same way? Those thoughts were like driving a fork on a plate right now.

“B-but…” She looked at me.

She tried, very hard, to maintain proper eye contact, and maintain a stable breathing, but it was very difficult. And what she asked didn’t help either. “Y-you love her, don’t you…?”

“I… I love Twilight Sparkle. Whatever form she takes.” That sounded so fucking stupid, the moment it came out of my mouth. Yes, it was true. If Midnight Sparkle was still around, I'd love her too. But my god, was it a shit thing to say.

“A-and y-you’re choosing h-her…! O-of course you are, she’s a princess, who w-wouldn't…!” And there it was, the obvious takeaway from this. That one Twilight might be better than the other, and that I was choosing who I thought was better.

A ridiculous, insanely fucked notion– One that my girlfriend, in this moment, believed wholeheartedly. And I didn’t blame her. 

I desperately tried regaining any composure, badly. “I-it’s not about choosing one of you– It’s just–”

“--But you are– You d-did…!” Her crying got worse. “A-and y-you’re leaving– you’re the best thing that ever happened to me and you’re leaving–” She desperately sobbed, choking on air slightly. 

I tried to reach for her, maybe to give her a hug, words sure as hell weren’t going to help.

But the moment I tried approaching her, she recoiled. “N-no! D-don’t!” She muttered, with a look of extreme concern and sorrow.

“Twi– C’mon.--” I knew what she was doing.

“D-don’t…!” She begged.

If I touched her now, I’d feel exactly how she felt. 

And even now, she was trying to spare me of that.

I didn’t deserve to be spared of anything. I grimaced, as she started choking on her tears. This had happened before, back when she still had a couple of nightmares over Midnight Sparkle, after camp everfree. She would try to avoid touching me so I didn’t feel how bad she felt.

And I’d tell her that it was okay. That sharing of that pain was worth it. It helped.

Here she was, hurting more than ever.

Here she was, having an asthma attack, and prioritizing keeping me at bay over getting her inhaler.

I tried to reach into her bag, knowing exactly where it was, but still, while choking, she recoiled. I couldn’t help, if she wouldn’t let me touch her.

I raised my hands, as if surrendering, so that she could focus, even through a stream of tears, even while choking. I knew exactly where she kept it in her bag, but she didn’t want me to touch her. So I recoiled.

Finally, while choking and crying, she managed to grab it and inhale. I was at least relieved to see her breathing properly– but it was a small favor, considering how much she was still sobbing.

I leaned on the railing, while keeping an eye on her– If she wouldn’t let me touch her, there was nothing I could do– There was nothing I could say. How many apologies would possibly be enough?

I loved her, and yet, I was hurting her. What kind of a person or pony does that make me?

She managed to lean back on the railing, still crying. I had never seen her cry like this. But I wasn’t surprised she was.

No. This wasn’t fair. None of this was fair. Everything she was feeling now, I deserved to feel double. She deserved to have physical comfort– And I deserved to feel all of her pain.

I extended a hand to her. An offer.

“Twilight.”

She shook her head. “I-I couldn't, I couldn’t.”

“Twilight. I deserve it.” Truer words never spoken from me.

She hesitated, still sobbing.

And reluctantly, slowly, she reached out and held my hand.

How do I explain what it’s like to touch a burning stove that’s not burning?

All that matters is this. In a single second, tears were streaming down my face, too. All of her sorrow, her hesitation, her fears, everything she felt, passed through me like a cold arrow. And I took it all. I accepted it all.


 You’re leaving me for a better version of me. 


“T-twilight. I love you.” Those words spewed out of me without thought. 

“T-then stay…! P-please…!” She clutched my hand harder, begging, pleading for me to stay, and those same thoughts of longing coursed through me– so many days and nights of sheer utter joyous bliss we shared– All of them coming to an end, If I left.


 You’re leaving me for a better version of me. 


“I-it was good! It was all good, all of it. I loved being with you. I don’t regret any of it…!” I tried stating, choking on my own tears. It was true, every moment we shared was full of joy. And I was threatening that joy.

“T-then please stay, please…!” She begged again, grabbing my other hand.


 You’re leaving me for a better version of me. 


“I… I don’t want to hurt you…” I knew what I didn’t want, above all. On that, I was certain.

“Then stay, please just stay…!” She kept pleading, closer than ever, and I could feel everything. 


 You’re leaving me for a better version of me. 


“S-she’s not better–” I tried muttering, with great difficulty– her sorrow felt like a massive weight on me. One I struggled to carry.

“S-she is! She literally, o-objectively is– She is.” I wasn’t sure how true that statement was, not with all that I felt at the moment, it was hard for me to see with the tears. But I knew that Twilight believed that wholeheartedly.

And it was true that I loved the Princess. Maybe just as much as I loved this Twilight.

If this was even a fraction of how she would feel. If this was even a tiny part of how I would make her feel, by leaving…

I hugged her tightly. Both of us, crying into each other's arms. She held nothing back, and I received all of it.


 You’re leaving me for a better version of me. 


It was almost like being taken by a river, you gasp for air, but it still takes you.


 You’re leaving me for a better version of me. 


And I accepted it fully. I submerged myself in it. I felt everything she felt. Our minds were linked.


 You’re leaving me for a better version of me. 


And with that link, came almost… Clarity. I could see exactly the pain I was causing.


 You’re leaving me for a better version of me. 


And I could see exactly how she would feel, if I left. A horrible longing. A horrible absence.


 You’re leaving me for a better version of me. 


And I could see exactly how I would feel, if I left it. If I made, once again, that terrible decision.


 You’re leaving me for a better version of me. 


Twilight was always better than me at decisions.


 You’re leaving me for a better version of me. 


So for the first time in, this horrible, incredibly long day…

“I know what to do.” I said, letting go of the hug, but not of her. “Let’s go back to my bike. Can you walk? Do you need me to carry you?” I felt exhausted, but no weakness would stop me from carrying her if I needed to. For the first time in a while I knew exactly what I had to do.

She gave me a frail shake of the head, muttering an affirmation related to her being able to walk. I exhaled, and stayed close. “Don’t let go of me, okay? Stay close.” I affirmed, and started moving on the boardwalk, pulling her by the hand gently, and she followed, still stuttering, still sobbing.

There was no way in hell that I was going to let go of that feeling.

I caused that feeling.

I deserved to feel it. All of it. 

And it helped immensely with me doing what I was about to do.

We made it to my bike fairly quickly, neither of us spoke during the walk there. There wasn’t much that needed to be said, when I could feel all she felt. 

I climbed on the bike, still holding her, ensuring her that she would be safe– A motion we had rehearsed dozens of times, and now, she felt the fear that this was the last time. 

Our drive wasn’t long. But to me it felt unending.

She clung to me tighter than ever, during all of it, and I felt it, all of it. All of her unease, all of her fears, all of her pain, all during that ride. It was honestly a miracle that I didn’t crash.

Finally, we made it to my target. CHS.

The sun had nearly fully set, behind the mountains, and the streetlamps didn’t yet light the roads. The School was empty, but even if it wasn’t, it’d feel like we were the only ones there.

I parked my bike, and we dismounted, and I made sure to hold her the entire time. She pointed at the mirror, with fear and hesitation. “A-are w-we going to…?” 

“No.” No, we weren’t going to cross the mirror. From the toolkit on my bike, I grabbed a steel wrench, a moderately sized one. 

To her surprise, we weren’t going towards the mirror at all.

In one hand, I carried that wrench, and in the other, I guided her. 

To my target, a very familiar target. The tool shed outside of CHS.

Every motion I made next was almost nostalgic. After all, I had done all this before.

I stopped in front of the door, me and her, very close, me and her, both with tears staining our cheeks. “I’m going to let go of your hand just for a little bit, okay?” She responded with a quiet, sniffling nod.

With one swift determined and familiar notion, I used my wrench to violently break the padlock to the tool shed.

And with the door opened, I quickly made my way inside, to grab the item I was looking for.

I found it, and quickly made my way out.

The sledgehammer.

“Let’s go.” I took her hand once more. She gasped in surprise, because she could tell now what was happening. And now, finally, we made our way to the mirror.

All of this felt familiar, certainly. And it also wasn’t. Not at all.

I had done all this before, after all.

The years had passed, and yet, I was doing the same thing again.

And there it was.

I let go of her hand one more time.

My grip tightened around the sledgehammer, as I stood beside the statue. And then I turned to her.

Her eyes were widened, and the crying had diminished. 

“It’s not fair. It isn’t. You’re right. It’s not fair that I’d make this choice.” My teeth were gritting, my voice was failing, I felt like I was shivering, but I didn’t allow my grip on the hammer to loosen.

“Between abandoning my dream and breaking your heart– Breaking your heart is worse. If I have to abandon my dream, so be it. But it shouldn't be my choice. It can’t. It shouldn't. It’s not fair.” Because I already knew what I wanted. But what I wanted would hurt her.

“So say the word…” I raised the sledgehammer, pointed it at the mirror, looking at her eye to eye. “Say the word, and I smash the portal to Equestria. There will be no more temptation on my side. There won’t be an easy way for me to get there… Or for her to come here.” I didn’t care about how much I didn’t want to do this. It didn’t matter. What I wanted didn’t matter. The girl I love crying in front of me was all that mattered.

She regarded me with intense thought, still crying, but saying nothing.

“Say the word… And there is no pony Sunset Shimmer anymore. No Princess Sunset Shimmer.” My dream, shattered, by my own hand. No other more fitting end than this.

She clutched her chest, looking at me in surprise– Still, she said nothing, but I could see that she was thinking. She was strongly considering it.

“Say the word, and I’ll be Sunset Shimmer the human– And I’ll be happy with you. I will.” That wasn’t a lie. It was true. I would.

I could see that she was hesitating. Even now, she was considering it.

“Say the word, and I’ll even burn the book that she gave me. And if she ever found another way back here… I’d tell her to leave.” It hurt so much to say every word. But I said it anyway. No matter how much it hurt me, I would do it all, if she asked. I was well aware that Princess Twilight would look for me if this happened– And that above all hurting her was a horrible thing to do– That I didn’t want.

I didn’t want to leave her. I didn’t want to abandon my dream. I didn’t want to hurt her. I didn’t want to potentially ruin Equestria, by having her rule alone… I didn't want any of it. but still.

“Say the word.” I stated again, gritting my teeth, clutching the hammer.

And still, she said nothing, looking at the floor, with that same sorrow. 

Why wasn’t she saying it? Why? 

“S-say the word, Twilight.” This time, I was crying on my own. I didn’t need her feelings to be mine to cry over what I was considering doing.

I would shatter my dream and my desires, and my way back home, if she asked.

And I’d do it without regrets. If she only would say the word.

But there she stood. Saying nothing. And there I stood, ready for anything.

I waited.

I was ready.

I was crying.

“C’mon, Twilight…!” I begged her. But she said nothing. 

Finally, she moved. Shaking her head, she moved forward, approaching me.

The moment she touched one of my hands I dropped the hammer. I was very lucky it didn’t crush any of our feet.

It thudded against the concrete floor, and we both just stood there, crying, holding hands, crying. 

I felt all that she felt. And I felt that she didn’t want this.

“H-how…” She placed a hand on my cheek. “H-how could I possibly be this selfish…?” 

Grimacing, I shook my head. “T-then what are w-we going to do…? I don’t know what to do Twilight– I love you, but– I don’t know what to do…”

We stayed that way for what felt like an eternity. Leaning foreheads together, breathing unsteadily together, unsure of what we would do… together.

The sun had finally set behind us.







Twilight.



Hello, other me!



It’s time we spoke. 



Yes, I believe it is.



Cross the mirror as soon as you can. 
Me and Sunset will be there to pick you up.