Letters From Across The Disgruntled Multiverse
by MixMassBasher
Past Sins: Bonus Chapter 15.5: Letters From A Disgruntled Equestria
Dear Nightmare Moon,
I'm in need of assistance. I can't sell my clocks anymore since its Eternal Night all the time so I'm running out of business.
Also the Old Clock Tower is in need of repair since lightning struck it years ago.
Desperate,
The Doctor Emmett Brown AKA Time Turner
Dear Time Turner,
Just build yourself a timemachine and travel back in the past to sell your clocks. Problem solved.
Sincerely,
Nightmare Moon
Dear Nightmare Moon,
Are you going to eat us next Nightmare Night?
Scared,
Pipsqueak the Pirate
Dear Ponies of Equestria,
I DO NOT eat ponies. I am insulted. I hereby abolish Nightmare Night. Nightmare Night and Nyx is no more.
An Angry Alicorn,
Nightmare Moon
Dear Nightmare Moon,
The noise pollution from the Everfree Forest is so fucking annoying. can you put a stop to it.
A sleep deprived Pegasus,
Rainbow Dash
Dear Rainbow Dash,
*Loads Shotgun*
Time to go Timberwolve hunting.
Trigger Happy,
Nightmare Moon
Dear Nightmare Moon,
How are we gonna survive the zombie apocalypse without sunlight for our peashooters?
-Crazy Dave of the PvZ Seed Co.
Dear Crazy Dave,
Just find Time Turner and get in his time machine. There's plenty of room there so it's about time you get on out of here.
Sincerely,
Nightmare Moon
Dear Nightmare Moon,
I wish to start a settlement at the ends of Equestria.
Your Innocent villager,
Starlight Glimmer
Dear Starlight Glimmer,
Sure. Why not? I don't see this being a problem in the future anytime soon.
Sincerely,
Nightmare moon
P.S. So here's a map. Your new plot of land required to set up your village should be underneath the A in Equestria
Dear Nightmare Moon,
Your Homework was overdue days ago.
Your wonderful teacher,
Ms. Cheerilee
Dear Ms. Cheerilee,
Sorry. Cerberus ate my homework.
Truthfully,
Nightmare Moon
Dear Nightmare Moon,
Maybe instead of the Purge that Tyrantlestia does every year you could set up a death arena to crush the resistance of ponies opposing your rule. The odds would definitely be in your favor.
Sincerely,
Suzanne Collins
Dear Suzanne Collins,
Sorry. No Thank You. I read your books. I know what happens to President Snowdrop in the end. Thanks but no thanks.
Cautious,
Nightmare Moon
Dear Nightmare Moon,
So can you return our daughter to us?
Worried,
Sweetie Belle's Parents
Dear Sweetie Belle's Parents,
Sorry but no.
Bluntly,
Nightmare Moon
P.S. If it's any consolation, at least your house won't burn down every time Sweetie Belle tries to cook.